kaistitches

[kaistitches]

Veil Of Deceit

Making me suffer as it enwraps me like it prey, it sings to me joyfully, like an old tale of what was once a happy child, hiding the the appearance of the person who I am as if I'm suddenly lost in a forest carrying nothing but a mask to hide the true identity of who I used be the child’s joy, now faded behind a hollow smile a fragile remnant of the laughter that once filled the air to be as it stands rooted unable to move and locked still in one spot all day absorbing the life before blossoming into a foral like cascade of emotions

As the story goes it grabbed the happy child and dragged him into the afterlife after manipulating with lies and deceit about granting wishes and only giving false hope, taking the life and providing a sedative of temporary relief slowly becoming numb to the feeling and emotions it provides eventually leaving nothing inside the body like a black hole absorbing anything and providing nothing in return as he's fighting for even the slightest emotion.

Feeling resent and anger at my choices, my decisions,

Continuing with the self abuse, like a curse I reach out struggling..

Stuck, trapped, trembling with desire drowning in feelings, I find ways to cope.

But only replacing one problem with another until it feels numbs cycling in an endless vortex of coping mechanisms each being self abusive as the last, clinging tighter to the mask the fragile remnants of the the child I was knew now a disguise I can't remove.

[kaistitches]

Twin flames

A feeling of unease settles in—its origin elusive, its weight undeniable.

Driven by a storm of lust and confusion, I stand at the crossroads, unsure whether my path is guided by the pull of physical attraction, emotional attachment, or simply the hunger for companionship. She stood there, smiling, her face partially obscured by an intangible veil of emotion. Her presence was intoxicating, her whispered words enchantingly elusive. I could only smile back, uncertain of the message hidden beneath her eyes pulled me in like a force I couldn't resist, a heat that threatened to consume us both. Every glance, every touch burned, yet left me aching for more.

Telling me it wasn’t my time to let go, I tied a knot and held on, gripping the frayed edges of my will. Blurring the lines between right and wrong, I told myself that change was possible, even as doubt gnawed at the seams of my choices. just as I leaned closer, her smile faltered—a flicker of doubt in the flame. She pulled away, but only for a moment, her hand still hovering as if she wanted to stay

The darkness draped itself over me like a shroud as I braced against the coming storm. Edging forward, I felt the rage against the fading light, The weight of doubt pressed harder with each step, until self-hatred was all I had left my sense of worth fading. I wondered if it was my actions, my choices, that created this dilemma.

Every time I thought I had her, she slipped through my fingers, like a flame I couldn’t hold onto. Her warmth called me back, but the chill in her words froze me in place. I was lost in a dance I didn’t know the steps to

She was my desire and my doubt, the light and the shadow. Every moment with her felt like a question I couldn’t answer, yet I kept asking, hoping for something more

was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, knowing the burn was inevitable. But how could I walk away when every flicker of her touch promised more, even as she left me scorched and hollow

The weight of every decision, every misstep, began to crush me under its force. I searched for meaning in the chaos, trying to grasp the threads of what I once held dear, but each tug left me more entangled. The line between my thoughts and reality blurred until I no longer knew if I was chasing something real or a fantasy that had already burned out.

And now you’ve brought me to my knees, begging for help. It feels like you’re controlling me, even though you’re not here. You are my addiction, my obsession...

Lost in sorrow, I dread waking up, knowing that no matter what I do, I remain a chained to this relentless unforgiving cycle.

[kaistitches]

Burnt Out Flame

The thoughts of home they drive me on but they break me down to nothing,

And the path you chose has led to this, the desires of the past to carry on were once a memory I held dear

I never wanted let that flame burn out, for what once was the brightest flame become the slowly became the coals they were still warm enough to heat me up before the rain ruined the place I once called home.

I prefer warmth from the flame but you preferred the cold,

I prefer the light from the fire, but you preferred the dark

Compromising what I had I gave it up in hopes you're idea of home was cozy

The enteral flame was put out.

And as the rain slowly flooded our home, the warmth was drowned in silence, leaving us soaking running in the shadows for years.

As we let the rain flood the house and bath, we run and camouflage the shadows playing hide and seek, not realising I'm hiding from the truth and seeking validation.

As reality set in, we realized our idea of home was different.

I always felt cold,

I always felt wet,

Blinded in the darkness,

I missed watching the flame, my sight isn't good and my wood for the fire in drenched not sure if I can if feel the same warmth I once knew