kaspark-i - Tumblr blog

[kaspark-i]

[kaspark-i]

[kaspark-i]

[kaspark-i]

severed thoughts severely settle into to the wrong crevice.

Seeping into my brain, blood stained check list.

My soul crying typhoons and oceans, drenched I'm the wettest.

Ghost in a shell, these thoughts haunting like a phantom menace.

I don't get it. Everyone says life is straight forward,

But I'm plummeting in the opposite direction towards

the demons that gnaw and saw from the inside preventing me from using my vocal chords.

Lost I wander the land of dead dreams, insecurities, and forgotten morals and half spoken words.

[kaspark-i]

Drown

A wave of thoughts drown in context.

Holding back the thoughts that I should have confessed.

Because I am not content with the contents

In that sense I  don't consent

To anyone getting within these walls.

It's Brain vs emotions in a contest to win it all.

Staggering in and out of these mental halls,

Afraid to turn every corner because I always hear death's call.

[kaspark-i]

Born from the ashes of the flame. There's a meaning that I have to chase. So, mindlessly and blindly i walk on this grave, trying to find the reason I was made. My soul shatters as my body caves from all the stress the world has conveyed. Its not guaranteed but maybe one day ill get out of the maze. "it'll be ok" that's what I have to tell myself so I can live a life, not live in hell. I need help, but that's my biggest problem, I never want to reach out or yell. Oh well... -Kaspar K.I.

[kaspark-i]

Bubble

Everyday is just a suicide. Living life, but I never really realize the truth thats in front of me. I guess my mind's set on the things that I want to see. Never truly happy cuz I dont believe its my destiny. I guess life is heavenly but this life is all about the salary. So ill cowardly step down from from this crowded space. Ill hide in my bubble and walk at my own pace. - Kaspar K.I.

[kaspark-i]

Imperfect

Imperfection personified, a plethora of quirkiness colonized, one mind unified. In life theres no compromise so I sit and contemplate suicide. Life is do or die, and I ain't doin it right. So I take flight. Gone for a few hours. Dabbin some shatter, burning some flowers. Getting hit harder than the twin towers. im a dowser, but its a downer how im inconsistent with this power. Delicate like powder my mind scatters and starts to revert. Back to square one so now I have to re-work. Rehearsing my lines for when I vocalize. Thoughts of you keep my mind sanitized. You are why I realize I should really try. In this maze you are my guide to life, so please stay by my side. - Kaspar K.I.

[kaspark-i]

Painful Scars To Love and Respect

Pain and scars are the bars you have to raise. Love and respect are what you get if you wait enough days. The ways one grows and exceeds show in the the secrets they tried to keep. To progress is to open, to open is to share, to share is to show you want help and others to care. Don’t bare the pain you hide alone, Let others condone, see what should be shown. Let them prove you are not alone. Let them atone for your sins as you atone for theirs, Because if we never tell the truth, then we won’t know who cares. Who is willing to spend a minute or two? Who is willing to talk to you? Who is willing to let you be, And who are the people who will set you free? Freedom is a state of mind. Freedom comes with time. Freedom is the happiness we share with the people who care and will bare the burden on your back. The ones who will defend you from attacks. The ones who stop the stack from getting bigger before it falls. They are the one who will call you out and shout and share the scars and pain you bare. Because progression comes from the ones who are aware. Now dont mistake this for the lies. Don’t believe the ones that “tried” Because the ones that tried will leave you and what you really need are the people who are trying; The ones who persist as much as you do. The lies are easier to spot than the truth, because eventually the truth become lies. It becomes a habit; a lifeless, emotionless monster that lets us die. All because a promise was broken… The dead have become outspoken and can never be woken. Progression is the trust we put in ourselves. Trust that one day we’ll escape from hell, break our shells, and believe that we have found something that gives us relief. Not the relief we get from pain, Relief that lets us escape the mundane. Belief that life and everyone will be right again.

This is the transition from painful scars to love and respect.

-Kaspar K.I.

[kaspark-i]

incomplete

black eyes, black soul, black mind, black hole. dark times unfold as sharp cries are untold. you are a perfect beauty made from a broken mold, so hold on to hope because if you don't life will seem like a fucking joke.

[kaspark-i]

Time to attempt to write

Hoping to make a poem tonight

[kaspark-i]

Reset The Pre-set

I can't keep killing the kind of feelings that naturally project. Protect the natural innocence that keeps filling the soul that's in debt. Inept, so reset to recent pre-sets, but watch heads because sharp threads will cause death; a mess  that no one wants to deal with. You inbreed with your inner greed and create an inbred black sheep. Calling yourself the victim, pretending no one likes you, and putting the blame on me. Side with them, resend the lies you like to say about me. Can't we just be friends?... No? that's fine because living in my mind is just habit from times like this. I don't miss the bullshit of this exterior. Guess Buddha was right when he said peace comes from the interior. It's true because none of you can, or will interfere. So just hear me out when I say stay out. Don't try to see how it plays out when your words and actions are already played out. The lack of peace and happiness is saddening and it's worse knowing that no one will be battling for me... In short I foresee a story that will end horribly. Where's my happy ending?

  -Kaspar K.I.