keimisan

[keimisan]

↪ i beg him, help me - scribbling words

so i asked to god, why am i so awful? how is it that i am yet another one of your followers but everything detestable is so imbued within me? even from the way i behave to the way i disguise excitement into things that aren't good, why is it all so ugly?

i tell him, why have you made me so ugly?

i beg him, help me.

i cry to him hoping another tear on the velvet carpet of prayer will make me a better person, they will advert me from hurting the people i love, and they will speak to me and tell me that it's hurting me because i care.

but is it that way? god has kept me so deluded that i do not know whether the hurt i feel is a blessing or a curse, or a saccharine pain of all the love i haven't emancipated.

maybe its little seashells that get lost in the tides of waves, or maybe its the little reminders my sister left all around her remainings, or maybe its the equation i could not solve, or maybe its the pressure, the words, the force of something invisible that pushes me to adapt to the world, that kicks me and throws me till i'm barely scraping the floor, but still going forward.

i don't know if that's a blessing or a curse, or if that's how you realize that the world goes on with or without your consent.

so i ask him again, i tell him under my tear-stricken, abhorrent voice, why have you made me so ugly?

i beg him, help me, help me, help me.

but screaming "help me" in bold letters at your wall does not help me.

[keimisan]

↪ i wonder when i - scribbling words.

i wonder when my brain will begin filtering out things i know about you and file them in the deep archives of my memory. maybe i will know about you less each day, or maybe one day i will know nothing about you at all. maybe one day, you will be an enigma of my imagination, maybe i will keep running and running; so, so far away that my nails will accompany the many blisters on my skin and the sole of my feet will ache amidst the sea of deserts- burning coals under my feet.

maybe my utter cowardice will cost me a lot one day, maybe the inability to properly express myself to you bound me in hooves i can never escape from, maybe i will try and try and try harder each time to renovate myself into someone you would've been comfortable with. but you, we both know, that no matter how much we improve ourselves anymore, we're not together anymore.

maybe, i, with my own efforts, will turn you into a stranger, into a nostalgia of home, a feeling of solace besidea warm hearth i know was as temporary as split second.

so i say once again, into the abyss where words mean nothing and mine will never float among the walls- maybe you're someone more special to me than i knew of, but you will never know that. neither will i.

in remembrance of my older sister who passed away this september, people's lives are so fleeting that it hurts. and the way we never know how much someone means to us, how much we can't lead a normal life without the way they make living so much easier for us- all of it bleeds. and I hope the people who've lost someone dear to them this year, I hope you all heal. this is a wound we'll carry all our lives, but it's a matter of learning to survive without them. so, please don't give up!

[keimisan]

i really need some inumaki fics

[keimisan]

if you receive this, you make somebody happy! go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get one back, even better

receiving one of these again is so nice 😌😌 thank youuu bby ♥️

[keimisan]

HI THANKS I LOVE YOU TOO, PLS REPLY TO ME IN THE DMS WILL YOU

heyyy bb!! its mal here. its been months of me disappearing but here i am now T.T just sending this ask to let you know i love you, and i really miss talking to you. hope to be active again bub 😌✊❤️

HI HI MAL I MISSED YOOOUUU 🥺 I LOVE YOU TOO BITCH, I HOPE YOU'RE FEELING WELL!!!

[keimisan]

so,, umm,, heyy. i am back i guess (??) i am unsure about continuing as a fanfic blog, but i'll probably post word vomits every now and then. so i think this can be considered the return of mal??

[keimisan]

hewo :>

HEYY i'm probably so SO late but hey, i love you

[keimisan]

hello this is no way to pressure you! just a genuine question, will you ever do a part 3 to those idol aus they are so good :) I hope you’re having a good day 🥰

hi! i've been asked this before and yes, i really was planning on it. i personally really loved doing those and there were more coming on the way but, uptill july i'm totally packed. so there's long time till i get to work on fics again.

hope you're having a good day too bub!

[keimisan]

You.

I love you 🥰❤️

and i love YOU

[keimisan]

please recommend some chifuyu fics everyone !!!

[keimisan]

you're amazing, superb and your blog makes me smile 🌸💘 you are such a gift to this world please don’t forget that, as well that you are so loved and appreciated! pass on this message to all your friends and favorite bloggers. 🧸💝🧺🦋☀️☁️🌷🍞🌱

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH thank you !!!! i've been feeling a little low lately due to academic failures (T.T) so i feel really nice reading this. you definitely made my day better. thank you so much shruti.

[keimisan]

I saw it was you birthday yesterday?! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

P.S I love your writing ❤️

awww thank youu bub 😭😭

and yes! my birthday is kn 9th march (suga day?)

[keimisan]

your blog is very very pretty

AAAAAAHHHHH thank you!!! you're so sweet.

[keimisan]

Mal bby I hope you're fine! Eat well and stay healthy 💕

hi shruti bb, i'm eating well and healthy too! yesterday was my birthday so i ate a LOT. also cake yay!

[keimisan]

FUCK COVID

COVID SUCKS

ALSO, CHAPTER 241 HAS RUINED ME AND I ACTUALLY RANTED SO MUCH ABOUT MIKEY'S WRONGDOINGS TO MY FRIEND 😭

ALSO, I FINALLY READ THE TRANSLATION OF THE LATEST ELECEED CHAPTER A FEW HOURS AGO

KDDJGJDJJSAJXUBWJAHDA SEXY MAGICIAN AWAKENER (｡・//ε//・｡)

THEY LOOK SO GORGEOUS

-🧀

IT DOES SUCK.

pls same, i went super mad over that and had this diss mikey session with a cousin. wakui REALLY pulled off a trick right there.

[keimisan]

MAL MAL MAL YOU'RE BACK I MISS YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE U DOING FOR THE PAST MONTH AND TODAY? 🥺

-🧀

YES YES I SAW SPOILERS FOR TR 241 AND GOT REALLY SAD SO I DECIDED TO HOP ON TUMBLR.

i AM DOING GOOD BUT I HATE COVID SJBDSJBDS

[keimisan]

i'm so sorry, haruchiyo.