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[kesbeacon]

I was meant to have my new laptop today but unfortunately it has a problem and needs to immediately return to the refurbisher.

[kesbeacon]

[kesbeacon]

We're all done with the magic items posts, folks! Remember to check out the generator if you think they're cool.

In other news, my beloved laptop on which I drew basically everything yall on this blog have ever seen me draw (I think. Maybe a tiny bit of the earlier stuff was on the old one) and on which I wrote Oathbreaker has finally passed away aged six years and seven months after a brief struggle with its own hard drive. So I'm doing everything on my tablet until a replacement can wing its way to me.

Don't expect to see me around much - I hate browsing on the tablet! I have to look *down*. Bleeeh.

[kesbeacon]

Brégevic, modelling:

a well-designed dulcimer made of engraved tin and magma. it bestows the power to create explosions upon you, but it often has unintended effects. it is celebrated by the common folk. it was made by skilled craftsfolk.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

Kehurie Tanok Lumina, modelling:

a painted orb made of bone and bright iron. it bestows protection from your destiny upon you, but it can only be used once. it is widely reviled by the common folk. it was made by outlaws, far beyond the sea.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

Omicron Gul Faazin, modelling:

a chewed-upon axe made of coloured glass and paint layered into stone. it bestows protection from a wizard upon you, but it requires much commitment. it is unfamiliar to you. it was made by a hermit.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

Urako Ine the Driftstar, modelling:

a shabby pack of divination cards made of dull lead and plated with gold. it bestows unwanted knowledge upon you, but it is greatly beloved of evil. it is said to be a bane to the corrupt and power-hungry. it was made by a master crafter, in a time of hollow splendour.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

Faodros Knarre e Pasharo, modelling:

a battle-scarred diadem made of wax. it bestows illumination upon you, but it requires much commitment. it is completely unexpected. it was made by beings beyond this world.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

Zeiloby Wythe, modelling:

a much-altered robe made of silk. it bestows protection from harm upon you, but it is indelibly soaked in the blood of thousands. it was once a symbol of heroism. it was made by an apprentice mage.

From the items generator.

[kesbeacon]

The irritating moment when you realise that you spent ages fixing a specific bug in your generator, only to release the damn thing and realise that for some reason the fix has stopped working.

Anyway, I've updated it to the version without the bug now. You can no longer get a container with boots and silk ribbons embroidered shirts.

[kesbeacon]

#this is fun!#also i clicked through to your kofi and would now like to hear about the time you successfully impersonated an owl#i'm assuming you mean the sound but i am imagining you dressing up in an owl costume#posts that defy my tagging system - @cakefordogs

Ahaha I forgot I'd put that there! SO we will set our scene in the evening, with a class of 10- and 11-year old children on a week-long school trip to a popular country park. There is a campfire blazing, with everyone sitting around it, and the group leader says 'I'm going to see if we can get an owl to respond to me. I have an owl calls whistle, let's go!'

So he starts using this thing, but what he doesn't know is that I had spent the last two years, which is a lot for a ten-year-old, perfecting my ability to make a very real-sounding owl call using only my bare hands.

So I ducked behind a couple of friends and started 'responding' to his calls. And he was like listen everyone! We've got one! And it's really close! Wow!

He only figured it out when I finally got too giggly to keep the game up.

And the items generator update is LIVE! This is a massive update, with new content in virtually every area, and two entirely new types of found everyday items that you can generate: textiles and containers (with their contents).

Stay tuned this week for an art bonanza of characters modelling magic items!

Some example items under the cut:

a magnificent dulcimer made of bone and bright lead. it bestows knowledge upon you, but it can only be used a limited number of times. it is spoken of in dusty academic tomes. it was made by a dying god, in a time of wondrous learning and high dreams.

a printed novel by a grifter with the best of intentions. its subject is magical lifehacks.

an ancient pack of cards. it has been implicated in the highest crimes of state.

an oval bronze coin. it has an ear of corn on it. it is not recognised by any country you have visited.

a patched pair of embroidered gloves made of cotton.

a fragile envelope. when you cut it open, you find sketches by a god.

an elaborate bag. when you part the folds, you find records of taxes owed and unpaid by a vicious warlord.

an elaborate scientific instrument made of rough granite and translucent flesh. it bestows the power to wound the invincible upon you, but it is already partially broken and drained. it was the possession of a legendary wizard. it was made by a wizard's captive.

[kesbeacon]

And the items generator update is LIVE! This is a massive update, with new content in virtually every area, and two entirely new types of found everyday items that you can generate: textiles and containers (with their contents).

Stay tuned this week for an art bonanza of characters modelling magic items!

Some example items under the cut:

a magnificent dulcimer made of bone and bright lead. it bestows knowledge upon you, but it can only be used a limited number of times. it is spoken of in dusty academic tomes. it was made by a dying god, in a time of wondrous learning and high dreams.

a printed novel by a grifter with the best of intentions. its subject is magical lifehacks.

an ancient pack of cards. it has been implicated in the highest crimes of state.

an oval bronze coin. it has an ear of corn on it. it is not recognised by any country you have visited.

a patched pair of embroidered gloves made of cotton.

a fragile envelope. when you cut it open, you find sketches by a god.

an elaborate bag. when you part the folds, you find records of taxes owed and unpaid by a vicious warlord.

an elaborate scientific instrument made of rough granite and translucent flesh. it bestows the power to wound the invincible upon you, but it is already partially broken and drained. it was the possession of a legendary wizard. it was made by a wizard's captive.

[kesbeacon]

Last day for newsletter signups before the April issue goes out tomorrow morning!

Featuring exclusive Sigil's Resolve snippet and some weird items and pets.

[kesbeacon]

Meanwhile, quick reminder that my April newsletter goes out on the 18th; sign up via the button on my website for more funny generated items and a short exclusive snippet from Sigil's Resolve!

[kesbeacon]

Meanwhile, quick reminder that my April newsletter goes out on the 18th; sign up via the button on my website for more funny generated items and a short exclusive snippet from Sigil's Resolve!

[kesbeacon]

Meanwhile, quick reminder that my April newsletter goes out on the 18th; sign up via the button on my website for more funny generated items and a short exclusive snippet from Sigil's Resolve!

[kesbeacon]

Adding a 'containers' option (and a textile one) to the everyday items section and my heart....:

a chewed-upon bundle. when you part the folds, you find someone's treasured patchwork blanket.

Btw, if you want to be notified as soon as the update goes live, either follow me here or on itch - there's a version of the items generator up now but it's, obviously, the old one!

dfghjkl so I'm updating the magic items generator at the moment, and what I've been really focussing on is making the consumables and textiles actually plausible objects.

Anyway, while testing, I got potion of Imperial your Radch:

a corrupted potion made of fish sauce and tea. it bestows strength upon you, but it is fiddly and difficult to use. it is unfamiliar to you. it was made by the conquerors of tomorrow.