kill-your-fics

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He looked past her, towards the horizon.

"Hey," she called. And his traitorous eyes flicked back to meet her gaze.

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"No." It was a bald-faced lie, and he knew it.

"You are, though! I can tell. Why?"

"It's just... Your eyes are striking, intense—Direct eye contact is, I mean."

She smiled, though he couldn't fathom why. "I like that. Hey, you know what else is intense?"

His own eyes, maybe? But he simply wasn't bold enough to ask. "No, what's that?"

"Camping."

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love to disappear for 5000 years and be lured back by someone digging thru my posts

Genuinely, no lies detected.

I have NOT given up. I'm just trapped in a depressive episode that is ruining my desire to write.

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Finally, he said, "You're more than anyone's expectations of you." A practiced eye could see the play of her emotions: a hint of confusion quickly hidden beneath a practiced smile, not quite a smirk but still suggesting self assurance.

"You're quite something, yourself." She turned to leave.

"Wait." She pauses, looks back at him. "What were you thinking just now?" The slightest upward twitch of her eyebrows- surprise at being called out.

"I was just gonna ask what you meant by that–but I think I figured it out."

"Oh! I'd be happy to explain." Another smile, but this time accompanied by a gentle brush of pink across the cheeks.

"Nah–like I said, I think I got it."

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Wilson never fancied himself a masochist, and believed the pleasure he was experiencing was in spite of the pain, not because of it. Her claws tore at the back of his vest and dug into his neck, small trails of blood trickled down.

Regardless, nothing could compare to the high of kissing Willow.

His eyes opened when he felt her pull away, breaking the kiss but staying tantalizingly close.

"You're getting better at this." Her breath brushed against his tender lips.

He tried to think of a reply, but if he was being honest with himself, his mind was clouded with the desire to kiss her more. With his eyes closed, he could almost forget, could almost imagine it was Willow–his Willow!–wrapped in his arms, and not Their Queen.

When they first met, he wondered what was her influence, and what was Theirs. Now he was better at telling. Willow–his Willow–seemed content to share longing looks with her companion, whereas the Queen had the confidence of Their throne. Willow could be brash, but she appreciated when someone met her at her level. The Queen preferred submission from her subjects. Willow, he guessed, would be an enthusiastic partner, but perhaps the need to draw his blood was Theirs. He hoped so, though he couldn't know for certain. His silence, or perhaps his body, betrayed him, because her lips curled into a wicked smile.

"Thinking naughty thoughts, Higgsbury?"

He wavered between a lie and the truth. "You hold my every thought captive, your majesty." That was another thing. Calling her Willow 'pissed her off,' as she would say. He would, occasionally, try it anyways–but he had learned it was safer to do so when her hand wasn't on his neck.

Her eyes narrowed, though she was still smiling. "Cute," was all she said.

Willow would never take such a comment without deflecting in some manner–he could almost hear her laugh and ask if he said that to all the girls. The Queen seemed to enjoy knowing how much power she held over him. Furthermore, she seemed determined to bring him both pain and pleasure in equal measure. Hmm. Pain for pleasure; he surely proved he would make that trade, and that was dangerous.

Truly, this entire affair was ill-advised. He should be spending his time finding a way to free her from the throne without becoming its captive, not... consorting with the shadow Queen, no matter how familiar a face she wore.

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"Now–I'm afraid I must tell you, our supply of gunpowder is getting low. I can make more tomorrow, but it's delicate work. I can't afford distractions, or it may–quite literally–blow up in my face, you see."

"Am I a distraction?" She asked, sounding innocent as ever.

"Yes! You regularly keep me from science- from sleep, too!"

"Oh, really?" Her voice was suddenly sharp, full of some unknown intent, and he knew only that he was in danger. "You? Up all night because of me?"

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He'd weighed all the evidence, drawn his conclusions, and it was time he presented his findings.

"Willow? Are you awake?"

"Hmm?" It wasn't quite the.. respect, perhaps, he thought this deserved, but then again, how was she to know?

"This is, uh, rather important. I'd like your full attention–if you're awake, that is." She sighed quietly and shuffled a little in the dark. He couldn't see a thing, so this was entirely guesswork, but something told him her eyes were open now, looking at him. How much she could see, he didn't know–but he could feel the weight of her gaze anyway, somehow.

"Okay, I'm up. For real."

"Thank you." He took a steadying breath. "I think I might... no, sorry–" Now was not the time for hesitancy and his usual hedging of bets. "I think I love you."

It took her a long moment to respond. "I was wondering when you'd figure that out." What? This was entirely new information..?

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... You need all the facts, and you won't let anyone else tell you what they mean. You don't like when I jump to conclusions–you say it's 'unscientific'. But sometimes... sometimes when you catch up, we end up in the same place."

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Finally, the giant fell.

She felt an overwhelming giddiness, the sheer joy of facing monumental odds and surviving. With a whoop of exhilaration, she ran towards Wilson, crashed into him, wrapped her arms around him, laughing as one might after after accomplishing the impossible.

Her words stumbled to a stop as her senses caught up, telling her that Wilson had not joined her in celebration. Indeed, he stood there, stiff, and as she pulled away she noticed his face– so pale. Fearful.

"Hey, are you with me?" She looked him over, but didn't spot any obvious blood.

It took a second, but Wilson came back to the present moment, wherever he had been before.

His eyes focused on her, and he let out a shuddering breath. "My stars, Willow– I thought it had got you." That caught her off guard, leaving her wanting for words. Before she could assure him she was fine, he took the initiative to embrace her this time, confirming for himself that she was not only alive, but unharmed.

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I really like your willowson drabbles, they're all super cute!! Thanks for sharing them

🥺🥺🥺🥺 thanks that's rly sweet to hear!!! I hope to get back to writing and posting soon, provided life settles down a little. I do miss sharing stuff with you all!!

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I can't remember if I posted this... I feel like the dark mode notes era was for one off quips I only shared on Discord. Sorry if I'm wrong! I was thinking abt this again tonight and laughing stupidly at my own joke

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(insert keysmash here) I promise it's not artificial, there are genuinely things I enjoy in many people's art that I don't have the right... the right 2d art jargon to describe. I actually talked with someone else about compliments they get on their art- they said one of the most common was "I like the colors!" and while they appreciated the positivity, they always wished they got more specific and varied praise, because color choice didn't feel like a big part of their art. I figure it happens because a lot of people are like me, not well versed in the language of any particular art medium or style.

ANYWAY! I guess I'd like to say that I really like how you play with posing the characters (even if it doesn't always work out- see your own note) because it really helps each piece feel unique. I know it's possible (and tempting, because I've written such before) to make the same basic composition over and over again, and there's no harm in enjoying that, but I think trying new things is fun!

As for trading art- unfortunately I am slow even by most standards in needlefelting and crochet, so art from me is slow in coming. I'll definitely let you know when I get to work on that amigurumi Wilson-Dragon, though! I've even scoped out a few potential base patterns :p

👋 Hey all! Most of you (on Discord) have probably already seen this man a while back, but here he is for the (somewhat) wider internet audience!

This was actually my first time making a humanoid in any 3d art form (I'm not opposed to people! But they're so hard to get just right, and my usual mediums just come out kind of oddly fuzzy to be making mostly hairless people.) And since I was trying out this pattern ANYWAY, I also decided I'd try felting onto a crocheted object, just to see if it works. It totally does, btw. I could have definitely felted the hair dense enough to stand up and maintain shape on its own.... but I didn't want to use up all my black felting wool, so I faked it with some hairspray.

His face..... sure is something, but it makes me laugh (win!) and I had a lot of fun making it (win!) so who cares. I don't know what color eyes Wilson should actually have, other than beady-black, but these dark blue buttons were the only ones I had close to the right size.

My least favorite part of making him was definitely the vest, and I think it shows. I just used a thin sheet of dark red felt with lines drawn on in sharpie and sewed it together under his arm. I do dabble in occasional hand sewing small objects, but I'm kinda bad at it. Luckily, sewing amigurumi pieces together is much easier!

...

And if you're wondering.... he's posed under my plants' growlight because that's the brightest light in my house, hahaha. I can live in a dark dungeon, who cares... but my plant children deserve the best! 🤓🪴🪴 If you're wondering something else, feel free to ask questions, lol

The base was made following this youtube video btw:

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reblogging cuz i remembered something

In school, we once read Bless Me, Ultima, right? And for a lot of reasons I won't get into, it wasn't entirely written for/relatable to me, but y'know, I tried.

Anyway, there's a character named Florence, a kid with kind of a shitty life, and he's an atheist who gets in trouble for questioning the church. So, back in the real world, all the other students (Good Christian kids) read about him and then looked at me (the one kid that did not go to any church, Catholic or Protestant) like 👁👄👁

Later he gets beat up by the other boys for his lack of belief in his own sins, and he eventually drowns??? So the association wasn't Great lmao.

Anyway, the quote that stuck with me from the book is "In the dark aisle of the church Florence stood, his numbed arms outstretched, unafraid of eternity." I'm not saying it's The quote Ever or anything, but every so often during the school year it would come to mind. :p

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Hmmmm. "Haunted" is kind of a heavy word, generally suggesting something negative, but not necessarily, sort of related to grief, perhaps. I guess I'd consider a piece of writing to haunt me if it sticks in the back of my mind, if I really have to mull it over, if it changes my perspective (at least for a moment, maybe forever)

Now, the Problem with Me is that I have a very poor memory. It's very hard to pull memories up without something related reminding me of them first. So, I'm certain writing has haunted me before, probably even very recently. But unless something triggers me to remember, I can't just pull it out of thin air. Unfortunate. HOWEVER I won't end the answer on that sour note.

The closest thing I can think of rn is this unfinished fanfic I read featuring a fox as the personification (animalification??) of the northern lights. That's not really what the fanfic is About, (you know how writing is) but it was such an interesting read I felt compelled to make a little fox fanart of it to... idk, commemorate it and remember it. I haven't yet, but soon! Hilariously, a plot point in that fanfic is about memories and the loss of them, and maybe that's why it struck me so hard.

Also? Those lists that people reblog and pass around of hard hitting lines/accidental poetry from unexpected sources? I love that. I love people finding striking writing and beauty wherever they may.

You know what else is haunting and related to writing? When people go looking for fanfics they loved before, only to find them deleted. I can't remember this happening to me yet, but I think that would haunt me. The unanswered questions, etc, you know?

OH! I have an incomplete list of song lyrics that I enjoy/like thinking about/etc but that gets into my music taste, which is embarrassing and idk if anyone would want to see that lol

Aaaand I might be forgetting some poetry, I'll have to reread some 🤔 Off the top of my head "Simile" by N. Scott Momaday really got me in college. Its not the like, deepest craziest mind bendingest poem ever, but the words "latent flight" just really hit me, okay. The existing but concealed. The inevitable, the moment before the inevitable, the attempt to avoid the inevitable, etc, etc.

My own writing hasn't "haunted" me by the definition I gave, necessarily, but I do think about some unwritten ideas or written but unposted drabbles that I will probably never share with anyone because they're BAD lolololol. Like girl we've got standards, you're better than this. (I'm not.)

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Gotta say this trade was TOTALLY worth it, I love seeing what goes into traditional art, I love seeing the anatomy broken down a little into Shapes, I love your comments, and truly, don't we all need a ref :/ sometimes? I wish I had more refined commentary of my own, but my surface knowledge of 2d art is... not conducive to finding the right words.

THANKS for sharing!!! I am gnawing on them like a dog on a bone

👋 Hey all! Most of you (on Discord) have probably already seen this man a while back, but here he is for the (somewhat) wider internet audience!

This was actually my first time making a humanoid in any 3d art form (I'm not opposed to people! But they're so hard to get just right, and my usual mediums just come out kind of oddly fuzzy to be making mostly hairless people.) And since I was trying out this pattern ANYWAY, I also decided I'd try felting onto a crocheted object, just to see if it works. It totally does, btw. I could have definitely felted the hair dense enough to stand up and maintain shape on its own.... but I didn't want to use up all my black felting wool, so I faked it with some hairspray.

His face..... sure is something, but it makes me laugh (win!) and I had a lot of fun making it (win!) so who cares. I don't know what color eyes Wilson should actually have, other than beady-black, but these dark blue buttons were the only ones I had close to the right size.

My least favorite part of making him was definitely the vest, and I think it shows. I just used a thin sheet of dark red felt with lines drawn on in sharpie and sewed it together under his arm. I do dabble in occasional hand sewing small objects, but I'm kinda bad at it. Luckily, sewing amigurumi pieces together is much easier!

...

And if you're wondering.... he's posed under my plants' growlight because that's the brightest light in my house, hahaha. I can live in a dark dungeon, who cares... but my plant children deserve the best! 🤓🪴🪴 If you're wondering something else, feel free to ask questions, lol

The base was made following this youtube video btw:

[kill-your-fics]

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Hmmmm. "Haunted" is kind of a heavy word, generally suggesting something negative, but not necessarily, sort of related to grief, perhaps. I guess I'd consider a piece of writing to haunt me if it sticks in the back of my mind, if I really have to mull it over, if it changes my perspective (at least for a moment, maybe forever)

Now, the Problem with Me is that I have a very poor memory. It's very hard to pull memories up without something related reminding me of them first. So, I'm certain writing has haunted me before, probably even very recently. But unless something triggers me to remember, I can't just pull it out of thin air. Unfortunate. HOWEVER I won't end the answer on that sour note.

The closest thing I can think of rn is this unfinished fanfic I read featuring a fox as the personification (animalification??) of the northern lights. That's not really what the fanfic is About, (you know how writing is) but it was such an interesting read I felt compelled to make a little fox fanart of it to... idk, commemorate it and remember it. I haven't yet, but soon! Hilariously, a plot point in that fanfic is about memories and the loss of them, and maybe that's why it struck me so hard.

Also? Those lists that people reblog and pass around of hard hitting lines/accidental poetry from unexpected sources? I love that. I love people finding striking writing and beauty wherever they may.

You know what else is haunting and related to writing? When people go looking for fanfics they loved before, only to find them deleted. I can't remember this happening to me yet, but I think that would haunt me. The unanswered questions, etc, you know?

OH! I have an incomplete list of song lyrics that I enjoy/like thinking about/etc but that gets into my music taste, which is embarrassing and idk if anyone would want to see that lol

Aaaand I might be forgetting some poetry, I'll have to reread some 🤔 Off the top of my head "Simile" by N. Scott Momaday really got me in college. Its not the like, deepest craziest mind bendingest poem ever, but the words "latent flight" just really hit me, okay. The existing but concealed. The inevitable, the moment before the inevitable, the attempt to avoid the inevitable, etc, etc.

My own writing hasn't "haunted" me by the definition I gave, necessarily, but I do think about some unwritten ideas or written but unposted drabbles that I will probably never share with anyone because they're BAD lolololol. Like girl we've got standards, you're better than this. (I'm not.)

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Does your work fit somewhere in the field of science, or is it an interest of yours (YouTube binges)? Or do you research/Google review specifically for your writing? Your Wilson's chemistry references just seem so natural 👌

Well! It is one of my interests, though I'm not particularly well educated outside of like, a generic highschool classroom. The natural sciences were always my favorite, though- and I'd go back to properly learn more if college wasn't so expensive. I do almost always research/review my stuff when I'm trying to be accurate, no matter how simple the fact...it's less "I don't know this" and usually more "I'm just not confident enough I'm recalling everything correctly!" I'm glad you think the chemistry asides aren't too hamfisted, or simplified, or whatever! Though, that might be in character too 🤔🤔

Not to sound like a freaking NERD but science is so cool. I love learning new things about the world and what makes it turn. It's like peeking behind the curtain, almost, except you don't lose the magic. Feel free to share any cool facts with me @ everyone reading this I would be SO pleased to learn.

[kill-your-fics]

👋 Hey all! Most of you (on Discord) have probably already seen this man a while back, but here he is for the (somewhat) wider internet audience!

This was actually my first time making a humanoid in any 3d art form (I'm not opposed to people! But they're so hard to get just right, and my usual mediums just come out kind of oddly fuzzy to be making mostly hairless people.) And since I was trying out this pattern ANYWAY, I also decided I'd try felting onto a crocheted object, just to see if it works. It totally does, btw. I could have definitely felted the hair dense enough to stand up and maintain shape on its own.... but I didn't want to use up all my black felting wool, so I faked it with some hairspray.

His face..... sure is something, but it makes me laugh (win!) and I had a lot of fun making it (win!) so who cares. I don't know what color eyes Wilson should actually have, other than beady-black, but these dark blue buttons were the only ones I had close to the right size.

My least favorite part of making him was definitely the vest, and I think it shows. I just used a thin sheet of dark red felt with lines drawn on in sharpie and sewed it together under his arm. I do dabble in occasional hand sewing small objects, but I'm kinda bad at it. Luckily, sewing amigurumi pieces together is much easier!

...

And if you're wondering.... he's posed under my plants' growlight because that's the brightest light in my house, hahaha. I can live in a dark dungeon, who cares... but my plant children deserve the best! 🤓🪴🪴 If you're wondering something else, feel free to ask questions, lol

The base was made following this youtube video btw:

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A deep, weary sigh. "I don't know, anymore. I don't know. I'm starting to suspect- I can't know anything for certain, it seems, but I'm starting to suspect we really don't have a choice. Any choice. We're just- stars and atoms!- we're  always reacting! Maybe it's all already been decided, how it plays out." His held his head in his hands.

Her arms wrapped around him in an embrace. "I don't believe that's true. I remember the moment I chose to trust you, despite everything. I decided to do that. And I still choose you, every day."

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Hey everyone just a quick update that I AM writing and I have seen your asks I just have been busy since I got home from vacation xoxo love u all