killingmesoftlyxx

[killingmesoftlyxx]

gaslight me, manipulate me, make me love you, then tell me i’m worth nothing and deserve to die, that nobody will ever love me but you

ur just being honest

[killingmesoftlyxx]

“you ever just want to fucking cut your body to shreds until you bleed the fuck out because that’s where I am at right now.”

—

[killingmesoftlyxx]

never gonna heal from the trauma of my child sa so might as well numb the pain with alcohol n drugs lolz

[killingmesoftlyxx]

kinda wanna play the blue whale game see what it’s all about

[killingmesoftlyxx]

why am i the way that i am. why do i feel this way. i cant look in a mirror or take a picture without crying. i cant laugh anymore. i don’t have the energy to hold onto a conversation. i’m so lonely and numb that i miss when i went to public school and got bullied because at least that made me feel something. i don’t remember a time when i was happy. i’m supposed to graduate in less than a year and i have no clue what i’m supposed to do. there is no happy ending in sight. meds don’t work therapy doesn’t work. maybe i just wasn’t meant to be happy. but i’m too much of a coward to do anything about it

[killingmesoftlyxx]

The thing is once you start thinking about killing yourself you can never go back. It becomes this option, that you can't unsee or stop thinking off. Whenever things get tough again it comes back to haunt you. There'll always be this voice whispering 'wouldn't it all be easier if you died' and you can never get rid of it

[killingmesoftlyxx]

so numb and depressed i wouldn’t mind getting jumped rn just to feel something lol

atleast when i was getting bullied in school someone cared enough to insult me every day lmfao man online schools lonely

[killingmesoftlyxx]

man would it be nice to not be sober rn

[killingmesoftlyxx]

the only thing stopping me from ending it all is how much of a coward i am i constantly think about suicide but can never go through with it or tell anyone how i’m feeling

[killingmesoftlyxx]

“What scares me the most is how much I think of suicide, and how I never talk about it.”

—