kisskossfloss

[kisskossfloss]

Dan's mental health video and particularly his mention of seeing a therapist and taking psychotropic medications and utilizing coping strategies was incredibly brave. So many "my depression" videos are people's own unknowlegable pseudo-science and his really wasn't. He's obviously well-informed and seeing a great therapist. I'm glad that video exists.

#phan #mentalhealth

[kisskossfloss]

A Dance at Dawn

Summary:

A brief poetic take on the last time before Phil’s wedding.

Notes:

So here’s the story with this story: I had a sexy dream about Phil and it was delicious and beautiful and I wanted to write it down to keep it and so I wrote this little story that ended up being sort of poem-esque. If readers would like this elaborated on, maybe made into a full story with some stuff on before and after, I would be down, but for today, I just wanted to get this scene out of my sleeping mind before it fades away as dreams do! I hope you enjoy! @softgolftechniques

Here it is on ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12156468

In the middle of a bright, white room, a tall, thin man lay in bed. His face, smooth and lax, is as bright white as the walls. His hair, a stark black against the porcelain skin of his forehead, is ruffled along the pillow. The early dawn hangs in the air, harmonizing quietly with the deep breathing of a restful slumber.

The door to the room opens gently, a small “creak” slips out as large, pattering feet tip-toe over to the bed. The sheets are raised by a long, sinewy arm as another body, equally lean, equally delicate, slips into the bed.

Keep reading

[kisskossfloss]

Also to add my favorite part which was Dan's riff on "soupisnotonfire"

dsfsldfksldfksdf i’m honestly dead that gaming live stream was so good!!!!!!!!!!!! they were so funny and witty and natural and their banter works so well in real time and they just riff of each other so nicely and they work so well together and they flirted a fuck ton and im feeling so many things yall!!!!! here’s a v lengthy list of my fav moments: 

phil exposes dan and tells the audience dan makes fun of phil’s smile when they get their photos taken, and dan immediately wants to clarify he’s not being mean to phil, it’s all banter

dan says the big monster creature is phil’s mum and phil responds with his typical (giggling) outrage. dan immediately says he’s kidding and then says ‘love you kath’ bc he knows she watches and im gonna be honest that gave me a rush of emotion lmao 

phil: ‘take my lettuce’

dan: ‘feed me dad’ @ huge monster

phil: ‘plonk your tomato on my lettuce’

phil wants to name this ‘dan and phil’s salad dream’ dan immediately thinks that sounds like it could be a fanfic bc ofc he does

dan feels the need to clarify he was misquoted in one of the tweets from the jaguar event probs bc he saw the ppl dragging him for saying something that sounded like ‘millennials need products to help them go outside’ lmao

they have a loud faux argument when they both have to control driving the bus and my ears hurt but my heart is warm

phil tells dan to breathe before they start the first actual round and it’s cute

phil’s mostly on chopping and dishes duty and claims he doesn’t want to be sous chef. dan literally immediately responds by saying that typically the head chef is disliked by people and the sous chef is the one that actually does all the work .. wow …… what are these Emotions? it’s like when they were playing 1, 2, switch and phil was like, why do i have to be luigi and you get to be mario, and dan was like luigi’s actually the one people like :(((((( wtf :(

‘get out of the way lad’ says phil to dan and i’m dying

dan making fun of phil for making a song reference ‘from 1982′ by fondly yelling ‘you relic’

dan says phil’s behavior is ‘absolute babuse’ .. and i’m crying bc they def just use this word now referencing the vid where phil predicts dan’s future and attacks him with a banana & dan probably thinks it’s hilarious that phil said it in the first place and why are they so fond of each other honestly

there’s a new chef in the game for round 2 who dan thinks looks like pj but phil thinks looks like the child of dan and pj and dan immediately makes yet another fanfic reference, saying a fic of that definitely exists (if there is where can i read it? does dan read parent!kickthefire fic in his free time? does phil read it bc of his mpreg fixation? i need answers)

phil doesn’t like soup bc is it a food or is it a drink (dan, vehemently: ‘it’s a food’)

dan says he’s gonna play this second round as the PJ-lookalike chef and phil takes issue: ‘i’m gonna feel like my friend has disappeared and been replaced by a slightly different replica’ dan looks at him blankly for a second and then says ’that was like a whole thing’ sdfjsldfsdf what a weird interaction ahahaha i feel like dan was a bit thrown by phil making a big deal out of dan playing as ‘himself’ in the game 

phil keeps reminding dan to relax and it makes dan giggle a lot. phil’s like, ‘philly says relax’ and dan just goes full dimply, crinkly smile and my heart has fully melted

phil says ‘oh daniel’ in a deep singsong-y voice. phil just sang a lot in general in this stream, the thing where he replaces words to common tunes with whatevers happening in the game, and he does that all the time and it’s one of his most endearing traits for sure

dan: ‘i’m going to give you a soup thats not on fire’ phil: ‘put it in my mouth’

dan’s making these horrendous spitting spluttering noises and phils just gentle and going ‘dan we’ve got another tomato to do’ a couple of times to get him to focus ahahah

‘this is not a hierarchy thing. we’re both a part of this kitchen’ this feels like a metaphor

phil suggests they do a ‘fist bump of truth’ before starting the final round

‘dan i love your butt’ dan reads from the chat, and promptly gives a dead stare to the camera before saying he’ll ignore the chat again for a bit

‘don’t be upset I’m not offended’ says phil to the audience when dan screams at him and alleges that they would’ve done fine that round if phil hadn’t ‘ballsed it up.’ lmao!!!!! they’re both so aware of people thinking dan is mean to phil, its kind of funny that phil’s instinct was to laugh at dan yelling at him and then to reassure the viewers that he’s literally completely fine and no one needs to bother feeling upset on his behalf.

why can they just say a word like ‘potato’ and then immediately know the reference they’re both thinking of and both start singing at like the exact same time it’s disturbing

‘dan and phil’s salady dreams’ says phil, he’s really into these suggestive salad phrases

phil: ‘don’t swear’ dan: ‘this is a christian channel. no yiffing’

phil: ’we’re like a well oiled machine’ dan: ’we’re symbiotic right now’ (is this them just describing their general state of being)

wtf was that whole ad bit??? phil had a potential contact lens issue and dan starts asking him about it before randomly breaking off to look at phil intensely and do some cutesy facial expressions and then ask in a strangely soft, almost childish voice whether he can ‘press the button’ and they both kind of just look at each other and giggle and then phil is like weird and placating in his tone and it’s ….. cute??? why was that interaction cute wtf? but it’s just a button to play an ad so they try it but literally no one actually got an ad (if u got an ad then u just missed phil getting up to check his contact and coming back in 10 seconds and dan saying like ‘hi’ ‘hello’ ‘what’s up’ or some random filler words like that)

when they look at the game again there’s a new chef on the screen and it’s a cat and phil is immediately like ‘i want to be the cat chef!!!’ and then dan is like ’speaking of yiff … hello there’ sdfksdflsdf i’m dying @ these actual furries

dan then goes on a small tangent about fursuits which was definitely him stating actual opinions about how fursuits should have more colors or like rainbow stripes, and if youre going to make one, why would u go for a cat? it should be fox or wolf or dog. in case anyone wanted dan’s opinions on that. phil looks legit uncomfortable for a fleeting second but they transition onwards quite smoothly

they shout out some of phil’s fav comments from the last vid which was cute and phil acknowledges his swear

phil: *wants to show the viewers their new fancy mic* dan: ’show me that micussy’ …. that about sums it up folks

[kisskossfloss]

On Fans

I have this problem. I have had it my whole life, from what I can remember. It’s what makes my eyes water when someone does a spontaneous rap, it’s creates violent shivers in my body when I watch karaoke or amateur stand up.  

Second-hand embarrassment. 

I think it’s gotten better, but I do struggle with it and it is never worse then when someone is performing in front of an audience and I realized today that my second-hand embarrassment is at an all-time high when I watch Dan and Phil live on stage. Something about the screaming fans, something about how any word that comes out of their mouth is responded to by the loudest shrieks. And I am not sure who I am embarrassed for, really. When I think about Dan and Phil, I’m not really embarrassed for them, per say. In fact, while watching their “Night of Community” set at Vidcon, I noticed how incredibly well they handled it all. They acknowledge the audience well, but mostly continued to talk and perform as if they weren’t being met with the most over zealous responses. 

For example,when they first come out, Dan asks the audience if they even know who they are- which is a beautiful example of completely meeting your audience where they are at. The audience when first seeing Dan and Phil are, understandably, flipping out, so asking them questions that are best answered by screaming is perfect. But later, when talking about their flight issue, they mostly continue the story as if they aren’t still receiving the same decimal smashing screeches. But it is still distracting and embarrassing to me when this happens 

“I never would lose my passport, I am very organized normally” 

[audience screams violently]

“We start tearing the house apart looking for Dan’s passport”

[people begin pulling out their hair and clawing their eyes out]

“Us British people are so sensitive to the heat.”

[a ritual sacrifice occurs, with members of the audience chatting ‘Eat my soul, Daddy!!!!’]

Would Dan and Phil taking things in stride this well years ago? I mean, it does tell a lot about what their world must be like that they know exactly how to respond to an audience. Even in another panel with Julien and Tomska later at Vidcon, they are both the most engaged with the audience (at least from the clips that I saw), and although I am a fan of all of the other people on stage, Dan and Phil’s clear comfort with audience reaction and questions made me want to listen to them more intently. Truly, working with the audience seems to be their biggest talent, I think. 

So maybe it’s the audience. 

Let me say, I love people being weird, I love when people nerd out about anything and can get so into something that they become experts on it. I love that their are people on tumblr that could probably write entire dissertations on Dan and Phil. I guess it’s that I would never be comfortable being part of that audience. I would love to see them perform or, even more preferably, just being interviewed, but I would be so anxious about someone responding in an inappropriate way. I wasn’t a big enough fan to have seen TATINOF when it was touring, but I know that I wouldn’t have gone because even the clips I have seen were too hard for me to watch. Not because of Dan and Phil, but because of the audience. It’s as if people were interacting with Dan and Phil the same way they would if they were watching them online except being in a live audience is such a different experience. 

Maybe this is just me, maybe I should just, like, get over it. Or maybe it is ok that I am uncomfortable with the fanatic responses people give in audiences (and I know that extends to many other experiences- I mean look how people reacted to The Beatles on Ed Sullivan, it’s very much the same thing). 

Am I alone in this?

[kisskossfloss]

I just watched the entirety of their interview and it was fantastic! I mean, I love watching nerdy discussions about youtube and television and growth of the industry and they do a great job with it! Something about listening to them talk about their expertise makes me love them even more

Ugh whn will dip and pip upload😥😥😭😭😭i know theyre busy doing adult things with adults or whateva but i need content🤗🤗🤗🤗😇😇😇😊😊😊😊

Watch the YouTube Takeoff thing its the best content I’ve seen from them in awhile but I’m old and very interested in the entertainment industry

[kisskossfloss]

Seriously though, how is Phil’s skin so perfect? What is he doing? Is it all the moisturizing? I don’t even see crow’s feet and as a similarly aged person, I must know! Tell us your secrets!

[kisskossfloss]

During the American tour, Dan and Phil find their sleeping selves indulging in ways they haven't for years. Read the full, smutty one-shot on my ao3!!

[kisskossfloss]

Forget Phan, I'm all about phiff

phil + quiff

[kisskossfloss]

[kisskossfloss]

you know what i love though? i love phil seeing someone in the game be late and then instantly commenting ‘that’s very dan and phil.’ i love that they hear a joke show like wine mastermind or some shit and dan immediately saying ‘that’s something we’d watch.’ i love their immediate agreement that they’d def go to bed bath and beyond rather than the goth store. there were so many little comments in this vid that showed how they instinctively react to things as a singular unit, relating them to their shared opinions and experiences and it was all so lovely to watch 

[kisskossfloss]

Guys, I made an ao3 account to house my work! Give it a look for my fic! Chapter 3 is coming soon!!

[kisskossfloss]

Oneshot!

Who We Are

Summary: When it comes to Dan and Phil, no one knows much about Phil’s side of the story. But, that’s okay, he likes it that way.

Read here

[kisskossfloss]

Dan's discussion of growth from his adolescent interest/escape was beautiful to me. I get it.

25/07/17

[kisskossfloss]

Oh, well, yes

[kisskossfloss]

These are my favorite Phil videos, the meek Phil to the brash world

Actual footage of @AmazingPhil and his personal trainer, the child of Zac Efron and The Rock 🔥

[kisskossfloss]

Beginnings and Ends

@agingphangirl I was the anon from earlier. Thank you for the encouragement to write. I'm new to this fun world and so I created a special place for it with a little blurb. --- The internet was a safe-ground, a place to explore in quiet wonderment. A place where you could be anyone, or no one. Dan wasn't sure which he wanted to be, but he loved the possibility of all and of nothing. The weirdness of the internet, the pull of oddity and strange beauty was so appealing. He had always been a bit strange, a bit beautifully odd too, though he didn't really believe that. He wanted to be, wanted to be so strikingly gorgeous, so sexy that he could rise above the annoying mediocrity of his suburban life. There was a restless swelling beneath his breast. "Something more" it whispered, "you are destined for more than the mundane." Maybe that was the scariest thought, to end up in a quaint home on a quiet street in a small town. That fear felt inevitable until he found Phil's videos. Here was someone weird and funny in that odd way he was. And here was someone beautiful, the kind of beautiful that grew and grew until it constricted your breathing. Dan felt consumed by Phil, and wanted to interact so badly, knowing he was most likely screaming into the void until, miraculously, Phil answered back. Then they were talking, swimming on the safe-side of flirting. It felt dangerous and exciting to Dan. Phil was the oddity of the internet. Phil was the strange beauty of the strange world. Phil was his dream. --- Dan's eyes fluttered awake. It was an ambiguous time and his room was dark and warm, an easy space to slip into eternal sleep. Groaning, he rolled over picking up his phone, the locked screen illuminated with message after message after message. His eyes slowly adjusted and focused on one key text from Phil that simply said "I'm so sorry." "Wha-" Dan murmured, sitting up. He unlocked his phone and open his text conversation with Phil. Phil: Dan I messed up!! Phil: Dan, don't check twitter! Phil: I can't believe this. Phil: I'm so sorry It was weird of Phil to be so vague and so frantic over text. Anxious fear bubbled inside Dan as he lept out of bed to find Phil. "Phil!" He screamed, the concern and desperation becoming more and more prominent. He searched the flat, Phil was nowhere. Dan: Phil- what happened? Where are you? No answer. It wasn't until much later when Dan heard the jangle of keys and the unsticking of the front door. "Phil?" He asked, hearing his own voice float across the flat. "I'm here." Phil stated flatly. It seems a beat too long when Phil finally appeared in the room, dark circles under his eyes, hair swept back. He looked almost unrecognizable when he wore it that way, so much older. "Phil, what the hell is going on?" Dan yelled. The fear that had by now subsided was pushing up his stomach and settled, swirling in his chest. "Did you watch my live show yesterday?" Phil asked. Dan had not, it was unusual for him to not see it either in person or on screen, but Dan had felt poorly and fell asleep uncharacteristic early after taking medicine. "No..." "I messed up, Dan. I really messed up." Phil sputtered. He dropped his gaze from Dan, shame washing over him. Dan waited. He waited and waited. Finally Phil spoke. --- Phil was tired. He was tired of the accusations and the picking apart of every movement or word or glance in everything he did. He was starting to grow a bit paranoid that he was never really safe from prying eyes, but the fear of possible backlash to truth was still bigger and more powerful. In his mind, change was too great of a career risk. Truthfully, being tired and paranoid was a rarity for Phil. He loved his fans, he loved his job, he loved the choices he had made and was content with the sacrifices. Something about today was different. Something itched beneath his skin, irritating his being. He shouldn't have done the live show. Normally, if he felt anything but content he wouldn't go live. There were too many chances to slip up, and being calculated was his only shot at continued longevity in this career. But he went on anyway because it had been two weeks since his show. He started cheerfully and sweet, welcoming watchers and telling them about his day. "Kayla asks 'how is your day going?' It's going great, Kayla. I went out for breakfast with my in... uh, Dan's parents" he sputtered. "And, and, had the biggest meal of my entire life! The plate alone was bigger than my entire torso!" He was desperately trying to steer quickly away from his mistake. He knew if he could bury his small mistake in other drabble, he could get much of his audience away from questions about the rest of that word. But today's viewers were dedicated to his mistake. Floods of "did you just call Dan's parents your in-laws?" And "are you MARRIED?" Flashed on his screen. He tried to find questions about anything else in the chat, but if any existed, they were being overpowered. He ignored the chat, talked instead about the meal and buying a new game. He even brought up the failsafe "maybe we'll get a dog soon" but nothing seemed to quiet down the chat from his earlier reference to his in-laws. He ended the chat early, only 20 minutes long. Was that a worse choice? And why was this, of all mistakes, getting to him? There were far more incriminating videos and pictures around the internet, and those he could handle, but this? The house was quiet when he closed his laptop. The silence pressed against his burning cheeks and bounced in his eardrums painfully. What if this was the mistake? The one that opened the truth and couldn't be shut again? Phil stayed off his phone for hours, trying to busy himself, but the constant nag of the undoubtably growing interest in his words became too overpowering. He opened his twitter, his instagram, his YouTube account. Screen caps, questions, even elaborate think pieces were already spreading. His usual approach is to ignore, and he does so with a calm feeling and sense of control behind his choice. Today, his stomach twisted and turned and under his breastbone a thousand fluttering wings beat. He left the flat and walked around London, texting Dan while he silently cried in the darkness. --- "Phil" Dan began, gently, with a loving, babying edge to his tone. "It's been so much worse than that." "It feels different this time. Maybe I'm different this time." "What do you mean?" "Maybe I'm tired of being quiet about this, maybe I..." Dan waited, he nodded knowingly, understanding a need to share, and also the repercussions of that choice holding his lips together. "Dan, I think I want to tell the truth."

[kisskossfloss]

Cardboard box and a loooooong flannel

Big mood