kkurisuac

[kkurisuac]

𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥

the album: orchid

Isn’t it lonely? To do everything for you to want me? And I don’t know why I do everything to make you want me, but I know I want to be the number one girl in your eyes. So why can’t I be the only one for you? Why can’t you love me when I would do anything just for your love? But in your eyes, I’m just a younger girl who doesn’t even know who she is.

I don’t know the real reason why or how I fell in love with you, but it happened.

“I was 21 back then, and he was like 26, so he was more like a man who took care of me. This is all I can say about my ex,” I answered the question about my ex.

“I’m— I mean, all of us are pretty sure he’s punching the air when he sees you,” she said with a laugh.

“I guess we’ll never really know that.” I know he didn’t.

He never liked me the way I did, so maybe he’s just proud of me because I was never too special to him. I was just his best friend’s little sister, who did everything to be close to him. And after everything, he has to see me everywhere and listen to the song I wrote about our relationship.

He was my first love. Maybe I liked the way he cared about me, or the thought that we shouldn’t be together, or that he was older and a real man, or maybe it was real love. I don’t know, but I wanted his love more than anything.

If I think back, I was probably an annoying girl in his eyes. I always tried to look more mature, prettier, smarter, because I wanted to hear how great I was. I thought that if I behaved and looked a little older, he would notice me. He did, but not because of that. Maybe I was just a distraction from his breakup with his girlfriend.

I was so happy when they broke up, and I took my chance and tried to be with him, behind my brother’s back. My brother always said I shouldn’t fall in love with him because he was too far from me and wasn’t right for me. But, come on, that made me want to do it even more. So, on my 21th birthday, I kissed him. I thought it wouldn’t matter because, if I was lucky, he’d kiss me back. But if not, I’d just say I was too drunk and didn’t want it. But I was lucky, and he kissed me back, and I was so freaking happy.

After that ‘accident,’ I got a big ego, and I thought I really had a chance for a date, but I was so wrong. I was just a little secret—someone he turned to when he needed something. But honestly, I was okay with it because he was with me, and he wanted me. It was enough, right?

“Why did you write ‘number one girl’?”

“I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I couldn’t talk about it with anyone because I never told anybody, and my patience had reached its end.” Or maybe because I wanted him to know what I felt.

“What was the thing that cut your patience?”

“When he asked me why I wanted his attention so desperately, and I told him I wanted his love so desperately because I loved him. I got rejected so badly, and he said, ‘Let’s forget everything.’ I didn’t, though.”

“For now, my last question is: How are you?”

“I’m fine, thank you. I’m the number one girl for myself.”

“It was a pleasure, Rena. If you want to know more about Rena, listen to her new album Orchid.”

We were each other’s secret for years. I had a situationship for years because I told myself it would turn into a real relationship someday. But I lied to myself every day because I was too in love with him. But can you blame me? He looked at me with such pretty eyes and smiled at me. He even called me cute nicknames and got jealous of others. I fell for everything he did, and I was too delusional. I really thought I was his soon-to-be girlfriend, so I acted like one. I was so naive.

“There’s my famous little sister!” my brother greeted me. Sometimes, I feel major guilt because I never told him.

“What? What’s going on?” I asked when I saw my friends here.

“For your first album release, I called all of your friends to celebrate,” my brother answered with a big smile on his face.

“Thank you, but there was no need. And my album will release tomorrow.” There really was no need to invite Izana too.

“Don’t be shy! Your songs are on the radio, and millions are listening to you!” my friend Isla told me.

“And your interviews are going viral. You’re a star now, Rena.” Maybe my brother thinks so, but I can’t shine for the only person I want to.

“You’re really the number one girl right now.”

Yeah, I’m the number one girl in the media, but I can’t be the number one for the one I want to be. But after everything, there’s him. Because our secret will be a secret for life.

“You did well,” Izana told me when I greeted him. Does he really think that?

“Thank you,” I said, leaning closer to him. “You should get the credits,” I whispered sarcastically.

Why is he here? Why does he need to be in my life after everything? And why can’t I forget it?

“You answered every question but one,” Isla started.

“Yeah, because I’d rather die than tell who it was,” I replied. And because everyone would be disappointed in me.

“I know, because even me, your best friend, doesn’t know who it is,” Emma said with a serious look. If you knew it was your brother, maybe you’d be so mad at me.

“It’s our secret. Nobody knows, and that’s the right thing.”

“She just doesn’t want me to kill the guy who treated my little sister like that.” I don’t want you to lose your best friend.

“Because he isn’t the only one at fault. We were toxic till the end.”

Or we are. Because we’re in the same room, and all we do is watch each other, thinking, can we be any closer than this? At least, I think about that.

“What will you do after the album drops? Aren’t you scared we’ll find out who it is?” Isla asked with a smile.

“No, because you’d never guess him.” Hopefully.

“Are you sure? I mean, we know he’s the same age as your brother. It could be Izana.” Not could be—he is the ex.

“Yes, if he weren’t my brother’s best friend,” I lied. I lie pretty well. I should thank Izana.

“You really wasted your prettiest years on a guy?” Why do you care, Izana? Your ego doesn’t let you admit that I didn’t live my best life when I was with you.

“I did, sadly, Izana. I really wanted him to want me, only me.” I still want that.

“You should be more careful when choosing someone.” Really, Izana?

“You’re right, but he had really pretty eyes. I couldn’t say no when he wanted me to stay. You should listen to the whole album to understand my situation.”

Don’t talk to me. Don’t act like you don’t know anything. Don’t make it harder than it already is.

“Stay a little longer,” I said, more like begging.

“I can’t.” Wow, say something new.

“You never can. I just want to be with you a little bit longer.”

“Your brother will see us. And you know that would be a disaster.”

“This is the only reason, right?”

“Rena, you know very well that we shouldn’t even be together like this. Don’t be so dramatic.” Why is it so easy for you? Why don’t you want to be with me a little bit more?

“And you know very well how freaking much I don’t care.”

“Don’t be so childish and throw a tantrum for something you brought on yourself.”

“I’m the only one who did that? So, it wasn’t you who came back to me? It wasn’t you calling me at night? I did all of this alone?”

“I never said that. But you’re the one trying so hard for my attention.”

“Get the fuck out of here, Izana.”

Childish? I’m childish? Maybe. But if you think that, then why do you come back every time? It’s already been two years, and you’re still not gone. I’ve tried so many times to move on, but I can’t, because this love never dies. Unfortunately, I’m madly in love with you. You can say whatever you want, I can say I don’t want to see your face again, but you know I mean I can’t wait to see you again.

“Can you tell us something about your album that’s coming out tonight?” the interviewer asked me.

“Orchid is about my situationship that lasted 2-3 years. It was so toxic, but I couldn’t get out of it. I was so overwhelmed with feelings, and I wrote out my emotions. So, if you listen to all the songs, you could be part of my life.”

“If this isn’t a big spoiler, can you sing an iconic line from one of the songs?”

“That’s hard because, in my opinion, there are a lot of iconic lines, but the one that comes to mind is from Astronomy: Stop trying to keep us alive You can't force the stars to align when they've already died”

“Honestly, I couldn’t wait to hear this song. But now, this is the end. Thank you, Rena, for being here with us, and we’re excited for your album.”

“Thank you for having me.”

And it was the end of another interview where I had to speak about him.

“Your brother couldn’t come here, so I’ll take you home,” Izana stood in front of me. I just looked at him with that “you can’t be serious” look.

“I’d rather walk.”

“Don’t do that.”

Of course, I can’t do that. Of course, I have to behave like nothing happened. Of course, I have to act like a friend to him.

“Congratulations.”

“For what?”

“For being so strong. Every interview, at least one question is about me — I mean, about your ex.” Shut the fuck up, Izana. You’re more handsome when you don’t talk.

“I can’t help it. The whole album is about my relationship. And it doesn’t matter to me anymore because I don’t have feelings anymore.”

“Then why didn’t you answer the question?” Obviously, I wouldn’t answer whether I’d go back to him if I had the chance. I don’t want to admit that to myself either.

“Because I have the right not to answer. Why do you care? Can’t you just shut up?”

“Not really, when I have a whole album about me.” You should thank yourself.

“Do you want another one about you? Because I know how you freaking love yourself. Honestly, you only love yourself.”

“That’s not true at all.”

“Really? Don’t tell me you got yourself another girl who falls for you because you said some pretty words. And now you love her, but who knows how long.”

“Because you fell for me because I said some pretty words?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know why I fell for you, but I was too stupid, that’s for sure.”

“For me, I didn’t waste two years of my prettiest years.”

What do you mean by that? Don’t say things like that, because my wounds will bleed again.

“Good for you, Izana. For me, it was my worst experience. And because of you, I don’t want to fall in love again. I don’t want to feel anything. You took everything from me.”

Why did he say something like that so suddenly? Does he still care about me? Maybe he still feels something for me? Maybe—

“I can’t wait to hear your album.”

“You’ll like it.”

I hate that. I don’t want to be so far from him. I shouldn’t feel like this because we broke up more than a year ago, but I still… Of course, he used me for years if I’m that stupid.

‘Will you give him another chance?’ Why couldn’t I answer the question the way I should? Why couldn’t I say no without hesitation? Of course, because I still have feelings for him. I couldn’t even forget him because I see him every other day at least. We can’t disappear from each other’s lives.

“You’re late.”

“I had something to do.” Like always. You always have something more important.

“I’ve been waiting for you for hours.”

“And I had something to do. Don’t make it such a big deal.”

“Izana, do you have somebody else? Someone who isn’t your best friend’s younger sister?” I know he has flings, but don’t tell me you have something serious.

“Rena. I don’t have anybody else. Why are you jealous anyway? You’re my little princess.”

I believed him. I felt a pit in my stomach, but I never said anything. I just pretended everything was fine and that I was okay with the situation.

He had other flings, but they were just one-night stands. And because of that, I felt special. I thought I was important to him, and maybe he had feelings for me. And because of that, he could play with me and my feelings so easily. I was so naive and stupid. I don’t know what I thought when I believed that a 26-year-old man would want a 21-year-old girl who doesn’t even know herself.

“What the fucking hell,” I said when I saw my brother with my friend. This is real, what the actual fuck. And why am I not as mad as I should be?

“Rena?!”

“Woah. That was unpredictable,” Izana said from behind me.

“What the fuck are you two doing in the same bed???” I asked again, because, seriously, what the actual fuck.

“Rena, I can explain everything, but don’t be so mad.” My brother’s voice was shaky, but I was just confused.

“So, the reason you couldn’t pick me up and sent Izana instead is because you’re fucking my friend? Woah.”

“That’s new for me too,” Izana said with a laugh. At least he seemed to have fun.

“I’m going to rest because I have a listening party tonight, so let’s forget this for now,” I said, walking out of the room.

“You don’t look that mad,” Izana said, following me to my room.

“Shut the fuck up, Izana.” You’re not going to make me say what you want to hear.

“Are you more like, happy? Aren’t you?”

“I said shut the fuck up, Izana.”

Yes, I was a little happy, because ever, if our past came to light, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But at the same time, how could I be mad at my brother when I did the same thing, only worse?

He knows what I think, but he always makes me say it out loud when I don’t want to. Maybe he knows it too well because he thinks and feels the same. But that’s just the past. I can’t look at him the same way I did. He broke my heart, and he’s the reason I couldn’t love myself, the reason I lost myself.

I loved him too much, but what did I get from it? Nothing. After him, I only have a broken heart and memories that mostly aren’t the best.

“Rena,” my brother said before I left.

“Kai.”

“Are you mad?”

“I don’t know.”

I couldn’t say that I wasn’t, because how could I tell him that I did the same thing? But if anyone found out about our past, it wouldn’t be so bad after all. The difference is, they love each other. In our relationship, I was the only one who loved.

“Hello, my name is Rena.”

This is what I wanted. I had to live this moment and not let anyone ruin it.

“How do you feel about the album dropping?” I read the question. “I’m really excited, and I can’t wait for your reactions.” Especially from Izana.

“How did you get out of your situationship?” I don’t even know exactly. “He ended everything. If he didn’t, maybe we’d still be in the same situation, because I didn’t want him to leave.”

“Why Orchid?” His eye color. But I can’t say that. “That’s a simple question. I’ve always loved orchid, but after I met him, I associated the colour of the flower with him, and I thought it would fit.”

“Do you really like red, right?” Only Izana’s red flags, I guess. “I mean, I’ve loved it for more than two years, so red is one of my favorite colors. And you know, I’m one of those people.”

“I think I’m in love, but he has a girlfriend. Any advice?” I don’t have advice for myself, not for others. “Are you sure you’re writing about the right person? Girl, I tried to attract him when he had a girlfriend. Like, I never made a move on him, I would never do that, but I tried to get him to notice me. But if he has a girlfriend, then the ship’s already sunk. And it’s not a great idea to wait around until they break up to make sure he’s okay.”

“She is Izana’s girlfriend, Emi. She’s my sister, Rena,” Kai introduced.

She is so beautiful. How could I ever win?

“Nice to meet you, Emi,” I said with a smile.

“Nice to meet you too, Rena. You’re way prettier than in the photos.” She’s kind too. Do I even have a chance?

“Thank you, but you’re even more beautiful. I can understand why Izana is dating you.” I understand, but I don’t want to accept it.

How could I make Izana look at me when she’s like this? I have to do everything I can to make Izana notice me, at least. But honestly, how could I possibly compete with Emi? She’s pretty and looks kind. And when I look at them... they look so good together. But I can’t give up now.

“Spoiler from Stay a Little Longer?” One of the hardest songs I write. “Okay, I’ll give you a little spoiler. Please, won’t you stay? Stay a little longer, babe? I’ll be okay. You say it’s written all over my face. I’m fragile, I’m speechless, don’t leave me in pieces. That’s all you get.”

“But he didn’t stay, in fact,” I said, looking at Izana.

“Have you ever felt like you had to get out of the relationship?” That’s a good question, because I’m not sure. “I felt it a lot. Like, I was unsure about the situationship the whole time. But at the start, I was so in love, I didn’t realize the issues and just ignored them. I was just happy to be with him. But after some time, I felt like I was just pretending to be happy and okay with it. I did feel that way, but I couldn’t get out.”

“Did you watch the edits of yourself?” I read the question. “Yes, I did. And I looked at X, and I was like, ‘What kind of people are you?' You found my school and guessed random people I know, but I can tell you, at this point, no one guessed right." Thankfully.

“Would you tell us if we guessed the right name?” Don’t guess his name, please. “I don’t think I’d tell you the person’s name, but maybe I’d say, ‘You’re getting close.’”

“Is there anyone with you?” I read it. “Besides the staff? Yes, my best friend and her brother, who is my brother’s best friend. I’m mad at my brother, so I didn’t let him come here. So, Izana’s here for him.”

“How do you guys know everything? Like, I only said a name. That’s scary, but yes, Kurokawa Izana.”

“Yes, he’s single. Do you want his number? I can give it to you.”

I looked at Izana, and he just looked at me with those beautiful eyes. Someone could have him, because for me, he’s not possible.

“What was the thing that made you fall in love so deeply?” Why do I smile just thinking about him? “His eyes. He looked at me so gently every time. Like his eyes told me that I meant a lot to him, because he never said it and never did anything to show it, but his eyes told me otherwise.” I’m really naive and stupid.

“But that never meant he wanted me. I did everything to be a real girlfriend to him, but he never even asked me about it. Like, I was never the number one girl in his eyes.”

“What kind of relationship do you have with Izana?” I read the question.

I looked up at Izana, and he waited for my answer. I did too, because sometimes it’s hard to lie.

“He’s my brother’s best friend. He’s like a brother to me.”

I saw Izana’s smirk and his eyes that seemed to tell me how great I lied. I’d rather tell everyone he’s my boyfriend, but he didn’t want that.

“It’s 5 minutes until you can hear my album! I’m really excited for it. So, I want to thank all of you! Let’s listen a lot, and I hope it helps those going through the same thing. You’re not alone, and everything will get better. You can leave him or her, don’t beg for more because it’s useless. If you have to beg, they don’t deserve you.”

“In my eyes, all of you are number one!!”

“I will cry if you guys say nice things about me. You’re much kinder than my ex was,” I said, and I saw Izana start to laugh. The reality is sad, right?

“Ah, it’s out!! Let’s listen together!!”

I couldn’t wait to see Izana’s reaction. I had never told him about my true feelings, and this would be the first time he heard them. Would he say anything about it? Would he feel sorry for what he did to me? Would he understand me?

I tried not to look into Izana’s eyes every minute, but I couldn’t wait for his reaction. But, as I knew, he would wear a poker face almost the entire time.

When he heard Number One Girl, I couldn’t read any emotion on his face.

I shouldn’t care about Izana this much, but somehow, I felt like this would help us get out of this mess. I still hoped for more, hoping for his love for me. I’m so pathetic.

I would do anything to feel again that pure love I felt during the first period of our relationship. Or when I had just a crush on him. I felt like I was in heaven when he looked at me with his pretty orchid eyes. I want that Izana back. The one I fell in love with, not the one who broke my heart.

“What? Izana met someone?” I asked, trying not to show how much it hurt.

“Yeah, a girl asked him out, and he said he’ll think about it. But in my opinion, he’ll accept it. He broke up with his ex a long time ago; he should get a girlfriend already,” Kai said with a happy tone.

“You’re right. He’s been single for like two years?” I said. He has to be single, because I’m here for him. He doesn’t need anyone else.

“Yes, he had some flings, but nothing serious. But this girl has potential.” What are you talking about, Kai? He doesn’t need any girl.

“Potential? What do you mean by that?”

“She was our classmate. She’s a lawyer now and so pretty. I can picture them together.”

“Hopefully, Izana will like her too.” He can’t like anybody else but me. I can give him everything he wants. He’s mine, and I’m his.

I was so scared that this date would be serious, and I’d lose him. My fear was real, because after that, he really ended things between us.

“Don’t, Izana. Please don’t leave me,” I begged, crying.

“Rena, we were never a thing. You should get a real boyfriend.”

“But I don’t want one! I want you!”

“You know what we had was nothing. Let’s say it was just a summer fling that lasted a little longer.” No, please don’t, Izana. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t live without you.

“A little longer? Two years now! Two fucking years! I don’t want you to leave me!”

“Why are you so desperate for my attention?” Attention? Do you really think I was with you for two years because I wanted your attention?

“I’m desperate for your love, because I love you, Izana.”

“Love? Rena, don’t be so delusional. It wasn’t love, it was just fun. Anyway, we can’t be together. You’re my best friend’s younger sister.” Don’t say things like that. Don’t say I was nothing to you. Don’t—

“Stay a little longer. Just stay awhile,” I begged, looking into his eyes, trying to convince him.

“This is the end, Rena. Forget everything that happened between us,” he said coldly.

“No, Izana. Please don’t. I don’t want you to leave my life.”

“You can’t do this to me, Izana! You can’t leave me this way!”

I cried, I raged, I threw a tantrum. But nothing healed my broken heart. And nothing made Izana come back to me.

From that day, we didn’t speak properly, and I didn’t want to either. Not that he ever asked me about my feelings or how I was. We acted like nothing happened, but neither of us had truly forgotten. If he had moved on, he wouldn’t care about the songs I wrote about him, but he did care. So maybe—

“Thank you to everyone who was with me. We’ll meet at the concert, but for now, I was Rena.”

I couldn’t read any emotion on Izana’s face, just as I thought. He didn’t even say a word about it. I thought he would say something when he drove me home, when it's just the two of us, but no. He really didn’t care.

“You are my number one girl,” he suddenly said before I got out of the car.

“What?” Why did he lie after hearing my feelings?

“You were my everything.” You’re lying, but somehow, it makes me happy.

“What are you talking about, Izana?”

Izana leaned in a little closer, but it was a distance neither of us could truly cross anymore. He reached for me, but his hand faltered, as though the very gesture betrayed everything we’d tried to pretend wasn’t there.

“I played with you for real at the start, but I fell in love with you.”

“Why are you lying? Why are you telling me this now?” What do you mean, you fell in love with me?

“Because I didn’t want you to hurt like this. But I knew we couldn’t be together after everything.”

“You’re lying.” I couldn’t believe him after everything. He wanted to hurt me again, didn’t he?

“I made you hate me so you could miss me a little less. But I couldn’t move on either.”

“Don’t give me any hope, because I know it’s impossible.” My chest tightened, and all I could think about was the chance of us.

“Like you said, this love never dies. I’ve tried to get you out of my head, but how should I do that?” Don’t look at me with those pretty eyes, because I’ll believe you. Your eyes tell me that what you’re saying is real.

“Did you mean the things you said to me?” I asked, needing to know what was real and what was a lie.

“For the first year, no, but after that, I did. I really loved you.”

“Why? Then why?” I couldn’t understand. Why did he say such painful things when we broke up? Why did he say it meant nothing to him?

“Because how could we make a healthy relationship with that past? I used you, I played with you and your feelings.”

“And?” I wanted him to be honest. I wanted it, it was my choice.

“Rena, I want you to be happy. I want to make you happy, but now, everything is impossible. I used you how I wanted, and you did everything to be with me. We can’t be a healthy couple.”

“But you did love me. Didn’t you?” The words slipped out before I could stop them, a desperate plea for the truth.

“I do, Rena, but that’s not that simple. You know that too.” But if you love me, then everything will be okay. As long as you love me.

“I—Izana, I still have feelings for you.”

“You shouldn’t have. We should really forget each other.” Then why did you tell me about your feelings? This can’t be the end.

“How could I?”

“We have to.” No, I don’t want to feel again what I felt back then.

I wiped at my eyes, trying to steady myself. I couldn’t even speak anymore. The words were caught in my throat, my heart too shattered to form a coherent thought.

We really can’t be a happy couple? We really don’t have a future together? I don’t want that.

“Can’t we start over? Can’t we go back to the beginning?”

[kkurisuac]

𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞

Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem Y/n

warning: kinda fluff, some angst, childhood friends to strangers to lovers

"I don't believe in love. Why is that a problem?", I asked, because I didn't understand why everyone was so upset about it.

"Because love is wonderful and you have to experience it. But if you don't believe love exists, you can't experience it!" Aki argued for her right.

"Aki-chan is right." Yuzuha agreed with Aki.

"I also agree with Aki-san." Hakkai also said.

"Takashi say you're with me." I looked at my best friend.

"I don't know. I've never felt love so I don't know whether to believe in it or not." Takashi replied which was totally justified.

"Love is like when you feel butterflies in your stomach, you get excited as soon as you see them, in your eyes they are perfect, you just think of them and then you feel happy, you want to see them, smell their scent, hear their voice laughing, see their smile." Aki outlined love.

"Oh, that's love. Then Aki is right, you really have to experience it." Takashi stood by Aki's side.

"Mitsuya as you said that maybe you have felt it too?" asked Aki excitedly.

"Maybe. Maybe there is a special person for me." Takashi said mysteriously. At this statement, we were all surprised and couldn't speak suddenly.

"Is there someone you haven't mentioned a word about? What Takashi?" I asked first.

"I don't have anyone, she's just special to me, but she doesn't know that." Takashi replied simply.

"Then tell her Mitsuya!" said Aki.

"Who's the girl Takashi?" I asked, since he never mentioned anything about her to me. But he just smiled at me and the others looked at each other knowingly as if they knew something.

"What now? What did I miss?" I looked at them all, but they just laughed at me.

"That should be a secret Y/n." Takashi said.

"Since when is it a secret if everyone knows but me?" I huffed, I think rightfully so.

"Don't worry Y/n-chan we don't know either." tried to reassure Yuzuha, but she was clearly lying.

I didn't question it further because I knew they wouldn't tell me. So it remains an eternal mystery to me who Takashi is in love with.

Me, Aki, Yuzuha, Hakkai and Takashi were always together. We did a lot of things together and had a lot of fun. Until I got a job offer overseas.

I was always working for the world to know me for once and I managed to do it. So leaving my friends behind I went to a completely new place without knowing anyone. It was a rough first few months, especially because before I left Takashi confessed his feelings. I couldn't accept them and I couldn't do anything about the fact that he loved me, because I never believed in love and so I couldn't reciprocate the feelings I didn't even know a little bit about. So I started my new life without the most important friend in my life.

So our friendship broke up and I didn't come back to Japan for years because no one was expecting me back. Even though they were very important to me, we couldn't keep in touch and I missed out on everything anyway. But now I'm back after seven years because it seemed like a good idea, but it's not. I don't want to meet anybody.

But I had to come back because I have a job here. It's the least I could do, because I could manage not to meet them, but I have to work with Aki and Hakaki. The ones who are most angry at me for leaving them behind. Okay, Hakkai is mostly mad at me for hurting Takashi. The only person who's indifferent to me is Yuzuha, so it's a bittersweet return.

"So I have to go to the design house alone? But I don't want to go alone!" I said to my manager who was busy.

"Y/n stop being a baby and go." he slammed the phone down on me.

"But-" I would have argued, but there was no one on the other end of the line. I was screwed.

I made my way to the place in agony, hoping to get hit by a car. I knew Aki and Hakkai would be there, but it was going to be embarrassing. I should never have taken this job.

I walked as slowly as I could, but still made it to the office quickly. I didn't go in straight away because I needed to build up the strength to face them after seven years. I don't want to see the dislike in their eyes, they are my dear friends.

I can do it, they are not strangers. "Hey." I greeted as soon as I entered and was afraid to look up, but I could feel everyone looking at me. But when I looked up, my eyes met Takashi's. What is he doing here? He was the only one we needed.

"Y/n-chan! You're more beautiful than in the pictures." Yuzuha hugged me and she was the only one who was at all happy to see me, but at least I only have to face three people who don't welcome me here.

"Thank you Yuzuha." I said awkwardly and I didn't know what to do with myself now, even though I didn't know until now.

"You've changed a lot Y/n." Takashi said, which really surprised me, because I thought he would be the only one who wouldn't talk to me. "This is not true. I am the same person I was. But you're all different." I looked at them, but I didn't look them in the eye. I meant what I said, because they really are completely different. I mean, the way they look is not the same as when I left them.

"This is really awkward, so let's get to work. Y/n sit here." Yuzuha said after getting tired of the tense atmosphere.

"Are these your drawings Takashi? These are just wonderful. I mean, it's not surprising, since you used to be talented. But I don't quite understand why we're looking at these now." I said when I saw Takashi's drawings. But everyone just looked at me with big blinks.

"Y/n-chan, you haven't seen these drawings?" asked Yuzuha in surprise.

"No? Should I have?" I asked back.

"So you didn't even know that Mitsuya is the designer of the clothes and you have to work with him?" continued Yuzuha. This can't be true! How could I work with someone for weeks who I rejected years ago and then left behind?

"No… Takashi I'm going to wear your clothes? So that's why you're here?" it occurred to me, what was he doing here

"I bet you didn't read the contract properly." Yuzuha sighed, knowing what I was like. I really could have been hit by a car.

"Maybe I just read it sloppily." I was ashamed, and the others laughed at me. Except for Aki, who didn't even twitch a muscle.

"You're right, you haven't changed a thing." Takashi said.

"Y/n then I would take off your sizes." Takashi said and pushed the others out.

It was very embarrassing to be alone with him, and it made me feel even more embarrassed to have to stand in front of him in my underwear. But I'm a model, so that shouldn't be a problem for me. It wouldn't be if it wasn't Takashi.

"And what's it like to return to Japan after seven years?" asked Takashi, to relieve some tension.

"It's honestly wonderful. I've always loved living here and none of the countries compare to Japan, even though I've been to so many places." I replied happily, because it was the first time someone had asked me about it and I always felt comfortable around Takashi by default.

"Which was your favourite? Although I bet it was Italy." he looked at me, but I couldn't keep eye contact because it was a bit awkward.

"You continue to know me well. I loved every minute of it when I was there. I'm sure you would have loved it too. Although you may have been there before, you're actually a famous fashion designer that only I didn't know about." I immersed myself in the conversation. Takashi always knew how to relax me when I was tense.

"Yes, I've been there with Aki. And it was really amazing." he smiled at me. "We're done." he added.

At least Takashi isn't as mad at me, I mean not as mad as I thought he would be. I thought he wouldn't even look at me. That's a relief, I hope the others will be able to forgive me because we'll be working together for the next six weeks.

"Can I walk you home, Y/n?" asked Hakkai after I got out of the office. I was quite surprised, because I hadn't expected this at all. It was difficult to talk to Hakkai anyway, because he was always too embarrassed, but I got better at talking to him as time went by, but seven years have passed since then.

"If I don't bother you, I will.", I said, afraid of what he would say, because he was always an important friend of mine.

"I missed you so much Y/n-chan." Hakkai said sincerely and I was incredibly happy.

"Don't you hate me?" I asked, surprised.

"No, I was just a little mad at you, but not like Aki-chan." she said. I was really worried for nothing.

"Aki is really mad at me after all this time, even though she would have done the same thing if she were me." I said my opinion which Hakkai agreed with. She was my best friend and I put her through joining our little group of friends. However, for some reason, she didn't take it too well that I had received an overseas offer. We have not been friends since.

"Aki-chan has changed a lot since you left. She's become very jealous since then and has completely abandoned that hopeless love-girl self." Hakkai described Aki, and I was surprised, because Aki was famous for being selfless and childish.

"But why? What happened?", I asked, because I couldn't understand the reason, my ex-best friend couldn't have changed so much for that.

"You and Aki were best friends, you supported her and she tried to live up to you." Hakkai said, and I just listened in confusion. I'm inattentive, but not that inattentive. "And she was always very jealous of you because you got a job in America because of your many years of success here, and she was very upset by that. But this is mostly about Taka-chan." Hakkai told me, and I listened in surprise, because I knew nothing about it. But what does Takashi have to do with it? Sure, Takashi is her friend too, but I didn't hurt him enough to make Aki hate me.

"Takashi? What does he have to do with this?" I asked, increasingly confused.

"Taka-chan loved you first, not Aki-chan." Hakkai said simply, as if I was supposed to understand.

"Because Takashi loves Aki?" asked I, still not understanding what was going on. Okay, maybe I am being too careless after all.

"Aki-chan and Taka-chan are engaged. Don't you know anything?" he asked indignantly that I didn't know that either. That's quite a plot twist.

"How was I supposed to know? But honestly!" I said nervously that he holds me to account, even though he wasn't talking to me.

"Okay, you're right. Then let's start with the fact that you rejected Taka-chan, he was very down, and Aki happened to be right next to him. That's how their relationship started and then they got engaged a month ago." he told me succinctly. That sounds pretty sneaky. Was Aki always like that?

So Takashi and Aki. Interesting couple. How long have they been so close, anyway? Since when does Aki like Takashi? Why is Takashi getting over me so quickly? Aki has always hated me?

The next day, I started the day at Takashi's office to discuss the details of the fundraiser. Takashi always had such a good heart and helped others, I always admired that about him.

After talking to Hakkai a lot last night, I felt much more relaxed between them than I had yesterday afternoon. Although that might be due to the fact that Aki hadn't shown up yet. I would be happy if she would talk to me and we could talk, but I guess that's not going to happen.

As Hakkai told me a few things about the past few years, I realized that I never really knew Aki. Hakkai said things I never knew, even though I was there. For example, that Aki has long been in love with Takashi and was jealous of me for 'taking' her place. I never noticed, because she never did anything to make me notice. But it bothers me that I was so blind and that while I saw her as my best friend, she saw me as the enemy.

However, I can't do anything with this information because I'm leaving again in six weeks. Besides, I have no right to care about Aki and Takashi's relationship, because I'm leaving and they're getting married. But the thought still bothers me. I mean Japan is my home and I haven't been home for a long time, it's bad to think about leaving again.

"I've also been set up with quite a few model guys or actors that I met around that time." I said, after Hakkai had also told me that the last time it had appeared on the internet that he was with another model girl. But it's clear that's not the case, because Hakkai continues to freeze in the presence of strange girls. I remember how long it took him to get to talk to me.

"I saw the latest news where you're at a party and you're going out with another model. Taka-chan was already panicking that you picked someone up there Ame-" Hakkai interrupted after Yuzuha nudged his shoulder. "I mean the news was true?" he corrected himself.

"No. I had a few photo shoots with him, we used to talk at some events, but that's about it. He has a girlfriend anyway." I replied, but sensed something was wrong.

"Well, I didn't expect anything else from you Y/n-chan." Hakkai said happily. "But I guess there was someone else in the picture you might have dated." Hakkai continued. How did we get to my non-existent love life?

"You know me like that?" I asked seriously, but I wanted to end the subject as soon as possible.

"So you still don't believe in love?" continued Hakkai.

"No, because I haven't really felt it yet. But I didn't take it like seven years ago. So I want to experience it now and say I believe in it." I replied honestly, but even surprised myself with that answer. There must be something in that Japanese air.

"Now that we have discussed Y/n's exciting life, we can get back to work. Taka, let's go over the plans again." Aki said, turning to her fiancé, who had arrived in the meantime.

I preferred to keep silent and said nothing, not wanting to upset Aki any more than I already had. Although I have no idea what to think about her because she was my best friend, but now she is a completely different person. Or maybe she's always been like that, I just didn't see it, which scares me a little.

"Takashi would you start with me? Because after this I have an important call I can't miss." I said to the boy after my manager texted me that I had a call to attend.

"Sure, come Y/n." Takashi agreed and helped me get dressed.

All the dresses were gorgeous that were made for the benefit, although I didn't expect anything else from Takashi, as his talent is undeniable, it has been in the past.

"Another job opportunity?" asked Takashi as he adjusted the dress for me.

"Yes. I've been waiting at least six months for this call. If they want me, I can work in Italy for a year and that would be heaven for me." I said excitedly.

"So you're going to live in Italy after this?" asked Takashi, who is aware of my dream to live in Italy.

"If all goes well, yes. My dream would come true and my work wouldn't be in vain."

"I'm sure you'll get the job, and if you don't they'll lose because you're a prize for everyone. Your future husband will be lucky to have you." he said looking at me in the mirror. I saw the bitter smile on his face and for some reason it made me sad to see Takashi like that.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, but we'll see. A few hours and we'll find out if I'm going to Italy from here or back to America." I said, a little confused. I don't know what's gotten into me, but I need to get a grip.

"Isn't there an option for you to stay here?" he asked kindly. Was Takashi always this soft with me?

"I've been thinking about moving back home. But you know it's always been a dream of mine to be an international model and finally make it happen. I don't want to give that up just yet. When I have a family I'll move home, but until I have someone to stay for I won't." I explained my choice.

"I didn't say give up, I just said come home." Takashi said. "If six years ago when I confessed my feelings and you felt the same way I did, would you have stayed?" he asked as he looked me in the eye. His question surprised me so much that I suddenly couldn't answer. I don't even know what the right answer is. Why is it so important?

"I don't know… If you had asked me to, maybe, but I have no idea. I never thought about it." I said, confused. I'm not prepared for such questions.

"But I was never an option for you, was I?" he smiled bitterly and my heart ached to see it. I never wanted to hurt Takashi, especially not this much.

"Takashi-" I would have said something, but I couldn't think of anything to say in response.

"We're done." he said and let me go.

Does Takashi still love me? No, that's impossible, Aki is his fiancée. Yet the very thought makes me happy.

The show is in two weeks and everything is pretty much ready. The last few weeks have been great with the others and I already miss them when I think I have to leave soon. But instead I'm enjoying the time I have left.

I thought about spending the day with the others as I have been, but none of them are free. Hakkai has a photo shoot, which Yuzuha of course accompanied him to. And I don't want to be alone with Takashi. Firstly because of Aki, although she's out of town at the moment, I sometimes feel that she's following my every move with Takashi. And on the other hand, I feel like the more I'm around him, the more I hurt him. And it really hurts to see Takashi sad. Besides, I can't really concentrate on the conversations because I'm lost in his beautiful face. And it really bothers me that I can't be near him like I used to. I miss every minute we used to spend together and sometimes I wish he was just my friend and no one would bother me when we were talking. I almost regret I was the person who ever introduced him to Aki. It may be selfish of me to want Takashi for myself, but he was mine.

I thought I'd take advantage of the time alone and go shopping. I hadn't spent time alone in a long time and I'd walk around places I hadn't been in a long time.

It's incredibly nice to be home and I'll find it hard to leave the place again. Japan is my home after all, along with the people I grew up with.

"Y/n? Is that Y/n?" I heard my name and looked around and saw familiar faces.

"Baji! It's been a long time." I greeted the boy.

"Mitsuya said you were home, it sounded pretty unbelievable." he said, surprised.

"Right? I can hardly believe I'm here myself." I said happily. I didn't think he would recognize me after all this time. I used to be friends with them as a friend of Takashi's, but we never spent enough time together to become close friends.

"Baji how long do I have to wait for you?" asked Takashi not seeing Baji talking to me.

"Oh, Takashi." I said happily as soon as I saw Takashi.

"Y/n?! What are you doing here?" he asked as soon as he looked at me.

"I came to go shopping." I replied, perhaps too cheerfully. "But I won't bother you anymore. It was good to see you Baji. Takashi, I'll see you later." I tried to hurry away, because I felt that if I stayed any longer I would be staring at Takashi again.

"Wait Y/n! Would you like to eat with us? We're on our way there, if you're up for it, we'd love to see you." Baji said kindly.

"Yes! That would be great." I said as if I had been waiting for this. I was going to spend the day with Takashi after all. Not that I mind, in fact I'm glad.

"When you graduate, you're welcome to come to America." I said to Baji. "Although I might move back home before you graduate." I added, but only Takashi laughed at my joke.

"Hey! I can't help it that veterinary school is so hard!" defended Baji himself at once.

"Sure, Baji, we believe you." Takashi also replied. We had fun watching Baji try to prove that it wasn't his fault that he was still studying, but he failed, and in the meantime Chifuyu sent him a message that there was an emergency in the shop, so he had to rush off.

"Say hello to Kazutora and Chifuyu too!" said Baiji before he left. And then there was an awkward silence. Suddenly I felt very embarrassed in Takashi's company, but nothing occurred to me to start a conversation.

"Do you need a ride home?" Takashi asked. Oh, I guess he doesn't want to spend time with me. Not that I wanted to, but it hurt a little.

"No thanks. I want to walk around the old neighborhood where we used to live." I said and got ready to leave.

"Thanks, I had a good time." I said and quickly left, not wanting to disturb him. I guess our friendship that we had really is gone.

"Can I come with you?" Takashi stopped me and I was very surprised, but I couldn't deny that he made me happy.

"If you like." I replied and we started our walk together. Maybe I was wrong and he would still like to spend time with me. I really hope that's the truth because it makes me very happy.

Takashi and I walked around the old neighborhood and talked reminiscing. Back then everything was so calm and I never had to worry about what Takashi thought of me and that maybe I should stay away from him. We used to be almost inseparable and I wish that was true now. I don't want to have Aki standing between us all the time, the one who keeps me from talking to Takashi, the most important person in my life.

"I really miss the days when I'd come over to your house after school and we'd talk till late." I said my thoughts.

"Me too, but I miss you the most." he said, and suddenly I couldn't even answer. "I mean our friendship." he corrected himself in confusion. So not only do I miss him, but he misses me too. It couldn't have been a nicer thing to happen today.

"Takashi you know-" I wanted to tell him my thoughts but I was interrupted.

"Hi! Sorry to bother you, but you look beautiful, can I have your number?" a stranger asked and I just blinked wide in surprise.

"Sorry, no." I replied and turned back towards Takashi to continue the conversation.

"It'll just be a few minutes. I can't leave you with this, you're too beautiful for that." The boy continued, not wanting to realize it was time to go.

"Still no." I replied, but the guy was trying so hard he grabbed my hand.

"Dude understand he doesn't want anything from you." Takashi said quite angrily. I could feel him getting more and more tense around me, but I guess he could take it so far.

"I'm not talking to you." he said dismissively, still holding my hand, which I couldn't pull away from him.

"And he's not talking to you. Let her go now." Takashi said threateningly, but the guy felt very brave and hit Takashi. In shock I just watched as Takashi hit him back and the kid fell to the ground, which would have been fine if there hadn't been more of them.

"Takashi let's get out of here" I took the boy by the hand and we started running with five other people following us. Why do people like him have to find me now? Even Takashi is húrt becuse of me for being too pretty.

We ran all the way to a small alley and shook those idiots off.

"You know, I was in a gang. I was gonna take care of them." Takashi said while still hugging me for the small space.

"I know, but I didn't want you to get hurt any worse than that. Look what happened to your face anyway." I said looking at his wound.

"It's no big deal, as long as you're okay." he smiled sweetly.

"I'm sorry. I only attract trouble." I said regretfully.

"Then maybe I should be around you all the time to bail you out." he said jokingly.

"You'd just be holding me back. Look, I'm the reason we got saved this time." I said, looking him in the eye. Were his eyes always that beautiful?

"And you got us into this because you're too beautiful." He said and I blushed slightly at his praise, though it didn't change much because I was already red enough from his closeness.

"Takashi." I said his name as I leaned closer to him. This isn't right, and I still want to kiss him.

"Y/n?" he pronounced my name so nicely that I said the first thing that came to mind.

"I love you." I said and kissed my childhood best friend who was engaged to be married. I'm a terrible person. Yet I enjoy it and I never want this moment to end.

"We mustn't!" I said as soon as we parted and got out of the situation as fast as I could.

What an idiot I am! How could I say I loved him and kissed him? I mean he didn't disagree either, but it was still wrong. I shouldn't be feeling this way about Takashi at all, yet I can't wipe the smile off my face. I really am in love with Takashi. I don't know how long, but this is the worst possible timing, because I don't stand a chance.

I didn't sleep all night and I didn't go to work, pretending to be sick. I can't face Takashi like this, let alone the others. It's a good thing Aki isn't here, because just the thought makes me ashamed. She may not be able to stand me and wish me to turn up, but I'm not her. I'm ashamed to feel this way about a friend's fiancé and kiss him to boot. But I don't regret doing it. I really am a horrible person! I just left Takashi after what I said.

I have no idea what I should say to him after that. I mean, I couldn't deny it anymore, but I'd never ask him to leave Aki. I can't stand between two people who love each other. But I feel like I can't clear things up until I talk to Takashi, and that'll be painful. I'm not going to hurt him now, I'm going to hurt myself, because I don't want to reject him again, but I can't give him a home here. We live too different lives and I doubt I can make Takashi happy at the moment.

With so many thoughts in my head, I couldn't sleep, so I left for Takashi's at 2am and just hoped that Aki wasn't home yet.

I stood in front of the door for a few minutes because I was afraid of what would happen if I rang the doorbell. I finally did with great difficulty, but my adrenaline was pumping.

"Y/n? Everything okay?" Takashi asked as soon as he saw me on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" I asked, trying to see if Aki was there or not.

"Come in, I'm alone." he said as if he knew what I was thinking.

I sat down on the couch and as my adrenaline levels dropped so did my courage, so we just sat in silence for a while.

"Takashi I'm sorry." I suddenly stated and wanted to continue but no words came out.

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything that should make you feel that way." Takashi said kindly.

"Of course not! You have a fiancée! Who is a friend of mine!' Besides, I said something that didn't mean anything!" I blurted out.

"Why shouldn't it matter? It meant a lot to me, Y/n." Takashi said, and as much as those words make me feel good, they don't ease my guilt.

"No! It can't mean much to you or me because you have a fiancée! Takashi it was in vain what we did and what I said. Forget it." I said and wanted to end it all, but Takashi didn't think so when he stopped me.

"Forget it? Y/n do you know how much that one kiss and three word meant to me? I don't know how long I've been waiting for this and you're asking me to forget it?" Takashi snapped and now he was the first time to yell at me.

"We're not teenagers anymore who can just do that. You're about to start your future with Aki, and I'm leaving! Do you think such a flare-up is worth anything?" I asked angrily.

"A flare-up? Is that all it would be to you? Y/n you mean everything to me! I've waited all my life for you and for you to love me back! I would give up anything for you!" he looked me in the eyes and I saw that everything he said was true. "I don't love Aki I never did, if I have to this minute I'll break the engagement."

"I can't do that Takashi. I'm sorry." I turned my back on him and left.

"I love you Y/n!" he said before I walked out the door. Don't do it Takashi, please don't.

I made it all the way to the elevator, but there I broke out in a crying fit. I love Takashi, maybe I always have, but I couldn't make him happy. His home is here, and mine doesn't exist. I couldn't give him the home he deserves. And the guilt won't let me rest. I've never felt such pain in my life. I don't want to leave Takashi, but I must do it now rather than do more harm than I can, because I'm only here temporarily. I've already done more than I should have.

Tomorrow is the show and everything is ready. I am excited to be on the runway in Takashi's clothes, they are all amazing.

I got the job in Italy which I am incredibly grateful for and I can't believe I am realizing my childhood dream of living and modeling there. Hakkai and Yuzuha were happy with me when I told them. Takashi was also happy for me, but I could see that he couldn't be as happy as Hakkai, for example, and it made me sad, although what did I expect. And Aki didn't even congratulate me, but I wasn't surprised or moved, because she had treated me so badly in the last few weeks that I didn't even recognize her. And I learned many things about her from Yuzuha that gave me a clear picture of her. Now I understand why people don't like Aki and tolerate her just because of Takashi. But I don't know why Takashi tolerates her if he doesn't like her.

Aki hates me and doesn't deserve Takashi, I'm jealous of her, but I still let her through because she can give Takashi what he deserves more, which is a home. I don't have a home, not even to give to someone else.

With Takashi I tried to behave the same way as before, but it was difficult, especially during the dress rehearsals. He, on the other hand, was a bit ignorant that we almost didn't speak since then, which must have been noticed by everyone, but no one said a word.

"Y/n-chan what time does your flight leave tomorrow?" asked Hakkai as we took a break.

"Eight o'clock at night. So I'll run straight to the airport from here." I outlined my plans for tomorrow night.

"Can't you stay another day?" asked Hakkai sadly.

"I'm afraid not. I've got a meeting the next day that I can barely make because of the time difference." I replied.

"But Taka-chan will be sad too ami-" Hakkai would have said if Yuzuha hadn't nudged her shoulder again. "I mean we'll all be sad." Oh, how sad I'm going to be.

"We'll keep in touch for now. And I'll come home when I can." I smiled at them. "Maybe-" I would have said, but I heard Akit yelling and we started eavesdropping.

"I'm sick of you thinking about Y/n all the time! Listen to me for a second, I'm your fiancée!" I heard Aki's voice who was arguing a lot with Takashi. Hakkai and Yuzuha looked at each other, but neither of us understood exactly what was happening.

"Should I stop? Me stop it Taka? Is your dear Y/n sitting outside and not listening to what we are discussing? Because what if she does? What if she finds out that you still love her the same after all these years? Nothing will happen, because she doesn't love you, she never did. You can tell her your feelings again, but it will go away like it did seven years ago!" continued Aki. Oh, Aki is a bit wrong, but it's positive that she doesn't suspect anything.

"Aki! Really stop this now! Why are you bringing this up now? How did Y/n even come up?" Takashi also raised his voice.

"Of course, you don't want to talk about it now! Maybe you forgot that I was with you when she broke your heart! And who knows what Y/n was doing in America until then. Or rather with whom-" Aki would have continued my insult, but Takashi wouldn't let him.

"You can't talk about Y/n like that! She has never done anything to give you the right to talk about her like that!" said Takashi in a serious tone and I was happy that he defended me like that.

"She never did anything? She took everything from me! She became an international model which was my dream! Our friends are the same and she didn't show up for seven years, but she shows up now and they're more with her than with me! And besides, all you did was take one look at her and you're addicted to her again! Yet she did nothing. Of course, she's the innocent little Y/n." Aki said more and more aggressively. I can't help being better than her.

"I can't help it that she's lovable unlike you!" said Takashi as Aki's words trailed off.

"Tomorrow she's leaving again, leave you here without thinking. And then order will be restored here, so let's forget this conversation." Aki said, still angry. I really can only do harm.

"Fine, let's forget it. But I'm going to hold you for good. Here, be happy." Takashi said and if the others thought it right he gave the ring back to Aki. We didn't hear anything else, we only saw Aki crying as she stormed off. Takashi is single now, no one to hurt. But after the way I hurt Takashi, I have no right to say anything. And Aki is right that they are staying and I am leaving.

"We finally got rid of that girl!" said Yuzuha happily.

"Taka-chan! You've done well!" said Hakkai happily.

"You guys aren't sorry? She's your friend." I asked, not that I was that sorry, but still she was one of the reasons why I hurt Takashi.

"No. She's been trying to act like you for years, but she's been really bad and annoying." Yuzuha reasoned, to which I nodded in agreement.

"However, it's one less model. We won't find one until tomorrow." Takashi reminded us.

"I'll take Aki's part too." I offered.

"That won't work. You won't have enough time." Takashi said right away.

"Come on. Do you think they only invited me to America to model because I'm beautiful?" asked I smiling as they thought about it and realised I was right.

Takashi adjusted the clothes for me and we were fully ready for tomorrow night.

"Takashi.. thank you for not letting Aki insult me." I smiled at the boy.

"You have nothing to thank me for. You know I still love you, so I would never let anyone hurt you." He replied with a smile. I don't want to leave Takashi, I don't want to live without him again.

I'm incredibly excited for tonight. This whole charity night was Takashi's idea and it was his idea for me to be here, so it should be a good night.

"Y/n-chan! Are you listening?" asked Hakkai when he noticed I wasn't paying attention.

"No, I was watching Takashi." I said honestly.

"You've been thinking about him all day, pay some attention to me." Hakkai tried, but he couldn't. I couldn't take my eyes off Takashi who was wearing a suit. It was just a beautiful sight.

I tried my best not to think about Takashi on the runway and it was difficult but I succeeded. I concentrated hard not to mess anything up and I did it. Although I'm really not a professional model who is moving to Italy for nothing.

I'm moving to Italy… Then I won't get to see Takashi every day. But I can't stand that, I need my daily Takashi. I won't be able to hear his voice or smell his scent. But I can't, because I'll be happy. What should I do now? I can't cancel my trip, it's my dream. But I can't leave Takashi, because I don't want to. Damn it, I just realized how much I love him.

After Takashi thanked everyone for coming, I hurried to change. I asked Hakkai, Yuzuha and Takashi to walk me to the airport, because I thought it would give me more time to think about what I should do.

"Call me when you can." Hakkai said, touched.

"Don't forget us." Yuzuha hugged me.

"Make your dream come true Y/n." Takashi smiled kindly at me.

"Wait a minute! I can't do this." I said in total panic. All three of them looked at me confused, not understanding what was wrong with me.

"Takashi I love you! I'm sorry for all the words I said to you. Maybe I really can't make you happy, but let me try. So come with me!" I said, looking him straight in the eye. Takashi looked at me in complete surprise, he was getting more and more confused.

"Remember when you asked me what I would have done if I had returned your feelings seven years ago? I would have stayed. But now I'm asking you to come with me and live my dream with me. It may be a selfish request, but please Takashi," I said with all my thoughts.

"Is that really what you want Y/n?" asked Takashi doubting me.

"I want this more than anything! Because I love you Takashi!" I said happily.

"Fine. I'll go with you."

[kkurisuac]

We’re two worlds apart

Pairing: Wakasa Imaushi x Fem!reader

warning: kinda fluff, angst at the end, friends to (lovers) to strangers

Two young people whose lives are far from perfect. The girl's parents are not exactly role models, quite the opposite. But she has found the person with whom she can escape from the world.

Neither of them believes in love: the girl because of her parents, and the boy simply because he has no interest in that particular feeling. They think that together they can escape their problems and a better future awaits them.

"Waka, that's too high! Come down a bit and help me," Y/n extended her hand for the boy to pull her up into the tree.

"It's time to overcome your fear of heights, so I'm not coming down," Wakasa said as he pulled her up onto the branch.

"Waka, I'm scared," Y/n clung to the boy.

"Open your eyes," Wakasa replied, and Y/n, though afraid, looked up. Her eyes beheld a dark forest illuminated only by the stars. There was nothing interesting, just peace and quiet, and that was exactly what Y/n liked.

"I'm still scared," the girl said, to which Wakasa laughed.

"That's definitely wrong. The wind is blowing that way," Y/n said to Wakasa, who looked at her boredly.

"Then you do it, Y/n!" Wakasa gave up so the girl would be satisfied with the way he was doing it.

"Okay, it's fine there too," Y/n agreed, just so she wouldn't have to pitch the tent.

Sitting on the shore, they waited for the sunrise while sipping tea and sharing a blanket.

"Shinichiro wants to see you again."

"Wasn't once enough? I mean, your friends are very nice, but they don't believe there's nothing between us. Even though it might seem like my heart belongs to you."

"Because it really seems that way?" Wakasa asked, hoping the girl would say something encouraging.

"It doesn't matter, because young love doesn't last forever anyway, and besides, we're separated by two worlds," Y/n said sadly.

"You said that when we first met too."

"Because we're always separated by two worlds, then and now."

"Will you ever explain this? Because I didn't understand it then, and I don't understand it now."

"You'll find out when you figure it out yourself," Y/n laughed at the boy. Wakasa admired the girl, who looked even more beautiful in the early light.

"Waka, look, there's the sun!" Y/n pointed forward.

"If you didn't show me, I wouldn't have seen it," Wakasa replied boredly.

"Waka, help me! These are too heavy for me," Y/n pleaded tiredly with the boy.

"Okay, just don't whine anymore," he took the many bags from her. Wakasa had accompanied Y/n shopping, but she hadn't mentioned that Wakasa would be carrying her stuff.

"Now let's go eat! I'm starving," Y/n headed towards their favorite diner.

"Y/n, is something wrong? You're not acting normally," Wakasa stopped the girl.

"It's just my parents. Never mind, please don't talk about it," Y/n replied sadly, to which Wakasa nodded understandingly and continued walking beside her.

Y/n had a specific problem she couldn't share with Wakasa at the moment. She didn't want to think about the future when she was with him, so she lied a little.

"Come on! I'll catch you, don't be afraid," Wakasa looked at the girl who still didn't dare jump out of the window.

"Besides sneaking me out, you ask me to do this too! You'd better catch me," she closed her eyes and jumped out of the window. Wakasa caught her, and Y/n snuggled into his embrace, trembling.

"I'll never do this again," Y/n declared, letting go of Wakasa.

The two young people set off for their favorite spot, the beach, to watch shooting stars.

Y/n's parents didn't allow her to go, so Wakasa decided to sneak her out for the night. Y/n had been looking forward to this day for months, and Wakasa knew how much it meant to her to see the stars. So, following Shinichiro's idea, he made sure Y/n could see the shooting stars.

"It's colder than I thought," Y/n shivered.

"What did you expect in the middle of winter?" Wakasa sat closer to Y/n to warm her up.

"Waka, thank you so much. If it weren't for you, I'd be sitting alone and lonely in my room, hoping to be happy one day. But because you're here, I don't have to hope," Y/n smiled at the boy.

"The least I could do was make you happy if I already snuck you out," Wakasa laughed, hiding the fact that he blushed because of her.

"Waka! Waka! Look, there's the shooting star!" Y/n exclaimed happily.

"Make a wish," Wakasa reminded her.

'Let me stay with him.'

'Let me not have to leave him.'

After they both made their wishes, they just stared at the sky, lost in their thoughts. Occasionally, Y/n pointed out constellations she recognized, but then she fell silent.

"I'm going to America," Y/n said painfully.

"What?" Wakasa was surprised and couldn't believe what he heard.

"My parents have been planning this for months, and they told me a few weeks ago."

"Oh, okay, that's good," Wakasa said painfully. Although he kept the same bored expression, he was hurting inside because Y/n was going to leave him.

"Waka… I don't want to go," Y/n said, crying as she hugged Wakasa. He let her cry and did everything to comfort her.

"Look at that star. That star always shines, and when I'm in America, I'll see the same sky you do, so think of me when you see it," Y/n said, pointing to the sky, though she couldn't see anything through her tears.

"This is the last time we're sitting here together for now."

"Don't go," Wakasa spoke for the first time in a while.

"I've never been able to choose my destiny, and that won't change now. Maybe someday," Y/n smiled painfully.

"But I wanted to show you so many things."

"When I come back someday."

"That's a promise, Y/n."

"You lied, Y/n. Our star doesn't shine anymore," Wakasa looked up at the sky.

Many years had passed since Y/n went to America, leaving Wakasa behind. They say distance strengthens a relationship, but that wasn't the case for them. Today was the first time they met in many years, but standing face to face, they were like strangers. Yet neither of them had forgotten the other; they were still in love with each other. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't fall in love again because they only thought of each other.

"You didn't keep your promise, Waka," Y/n looked up at the sky, searching for their star.

"There's a legend that says you can't force stars to align if they're already dead. This applies to us too, Waka."

"I always loved you, Y/n. I tried to keep our star together, but I couldn't."

"We went through so much together, Waka. We saw so many things, and thanks to you, I fell in love, but we're separated by two worlds," Y/n looked at the boy disappointedly.

"So we can never be together, right?"

"Maybe someday. When we manage to overcome what separates us."

"Y/n, are you leaving again?" Waka asked, hoping the girl's answer would be no.

"Waka… I don't want to leave you," Y/n fell into Wakasa's arms.

"But you will, just like years ago," Wakasa said with the same bored expression, though he struggled to hide his pain and disappointment.

"I understand why you're angry with me, but… I'm 27 years old and I still don't control my life, and I don't think I ever will."

"Y/n, what if I ran away with you again like I did that night?"

"Then you'd take control of my destiny, and not just my heart would be yours."

….

[kkurisuac]

𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬

Pairing: Baji Keisuke x Fem!reader

warning: just fluff with my fav boy

"So, this is supposed to be me?" Baji asked, looking at my drawing.

"Yes. I know it didn't turn out the best, but I put everything into it," I said proudly about the drawing I made during art class. The task was to draw the most important person to me, and I did just that. It's just that my drawing skills are on par with a five-year-old.

"Y/n, this is simply—" before he could finish his sentence, I interrupted. "Terrible, right? I knew it turned out awful, even though I really put all my drawing skills into it!" I said, feeling sad.

"I like it," Baji smiled at me, making me incredibly happy. After all, I made it for him, so if he likes it, I'm completely satisfied with that.

"Now that it's done, we can go!" I said, grabbing Baji's hand, and we set off on our evening walk.

As we walked through the city, there were hardly any people on the streets, and everything was so quiet. Walking under the starlight, it felt like it was just the two of us, and that's exactly the feeling I love so much.

Baji was telling me about what happened at school today and how he set a car on fire again, which made me scold him because it's already the third car this week. And as a good girlfriend, I have to do this.

"And then I fell asleep. The teacher scolded me, even though it's not my fault that his class is boring," I complained about what happened today.

"You wouldn't have fallen asleep if you had gone to bed on time."

"And whose fault is it that I stayed up so late last night?" I reminded him that yesterday he came to me after a fight, asking me to take care of him and hug him because he was in so much pain. In reality, it was just a few wounds that didn't look painful at all, but I fulfilled his request because I couldn't complain about him either. Everything is fine as long as I can be by his side.

"So sleep is more important than your boyfriend's safety?"

"I don't know… sleep sounds better," I replied while maintaining eye contact with him, trying to tease him a bit, which worked.

"Really? You'd rather sleep than be with me?" he asked, pulling me closer, and suddenly I forgot to respond out of embarrassment because there were only a few centimeters between us. Even after nearly a year, he can still make me blush with every little gesture like this.

Before Baji could kiss me, it started to pour rain. While he cursed the rain for starting at the worst possible moment, I just enjoyed the summer shower. I didn't care at all that we might get sick tomorrow; I only thought about this moment being ours, just the two of us.

"I love you! I love you, Keisuke!" I said suddenly. I felt like I had to say it to him now, making him blush. He looks so sweet when he blushes. How much I love this boy.

"I love you too, Y/n," he said, grabbing my waist and pulling me closer, kissing me in the rain.

[kkurisuac]

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞

Pairing: Mitsuya Takashi x Fem reader

Warning: spoiler from the manga, yelling, depression

Of course, here is the English translation:

"Taka? We don't really talk," I replied to Takemichi's question.

"How is that possible?"

"Taka doesn't want to talk to me. During our last conversation, he told me it would be better if we broke up."

"Mitsuya-kun said that to you?" Takemichi was completely surprised.

"I was also surprised when he said it. Taka has been depressed since Draken's death. I understand, and I don't blame him for it, but he doesn't let me help him."

"Do you think he would be willing to talk to me?"

"Try it," I advised, and returned to Luna.

Even if Taka doesn't want to see me, I will never leave him alone. I'm here almost all day, waiting for Taka to come out and hug me like he always does.

Draken's death affected all of us, but especially Taka. I truly understand his feelings since I've been by his side and watched him suffer. I'm trying to help him, but if he doesn't let me, it won't work. It never crossed my mind to leave him now, even if he said hurtful things to me. I know he didn't mean it, but it still hurt a bit.

Taka went to talk with Takemichi, but afterward, he went back to his room and locked himself in again.

"What did he say?" I asked Takemichi.

"He's preparing for the competition, so he won't join our gang," he replied, and I just nodded.

"By the way, Takemichi, what are you wearing?" I asked, looking at the four boys.

"This is our gang uniform for the Thousand Winters! I came up with it!" Chifuyu said proudly.

"What?" I asked, laughing because both the name and the logo were quite lame.

"Y/n-san, why are you laughing?" Chifuyu looked at me confused.

"Nothing, nothing," I said because I didn't want to hurt Chifuyu by saying how lame it all was.

"Y/n-chan, take care of Taka-chan," Hakkai looked at me.

"You don't even need to ask," I smiled at him.

I went back inside and helped the two girls study. They are so worried about their brother, but Taka doesn't notice this either. I hope Takemichi's visit helped a little.

It was getting late, and the two girls had already fallen asleep, so I thought it was time to go. Before I left, I saw some light seeping through the door of Taka's room, so I peeked in through the small gap.

I hate that he's acting this way with me. Just because he's not in a good state right now doesn't mean we should break up. Why would he even think of that? We'll only break up when I also want it, but until then, I'll be with him no matter what.

"Y/n, what are you still doing here?" he asked without even looking back.

"I thought I'd check on you before I leave. But I'm going now," I said, heading towards the door. He didn't even say hi or anything. He doesn't need to be this cold.

After school, I hurried to Taka's place to try and talk to him alone. Although I think I'll be the one talking while he listens. At least he's not yelling at me like he did at the beginning.

"Taka, can we talk?" I asked as I entered his room.

"Y/n, what are you even doing here? I told you we should break up." he said without looking at me. Of course, he can't look me in the eyes.

"Yes, you said that, but I don't remember agreeing to it. This relationship won't end until I say so."

"Why are you so stubborn?"

"Because I love you and I won't let go of what's mine." I sat down next to him, but he kept on drawing.

"It would be better if you left too."

"Sorry, but that's impossible, Taka."

Taka didn't react, just kept drawing, while I sat next to him trying to gather my thoughts.

"Taka, do you need a model by any chance? I'd gladly take on the role." I offered, and even he stopped for a moment.

"I don't need one." he replied coldly.

"I offered this to help you, not as your girlfriend. At least let me help you with this if you won't let me help with anything else," I said, slightly angry. His behavior was starting to really irritate me.

"I still don't want your help," his indifference made me so angry that I started yelling at him.

"Takashi, do you not remember who I am? Don't you remember when we did this together?" I pointed to the tattoo on my finger, which had his initial. "Have you forgotten how much we love each other? I understand you, Takashi, but enough is enough!"

"Y/n-"

"And don't say anything like go away or whatever! I'll stay with you until you apologize for how you treated me!" I declared to him. He looked at me, surprised, not knowing how to react to my outburst, but it was better this way. He had already upset me enough; he shouldn't mess with my nerves anymore.

I sat next to Taka, waiting for him to say something, but he just sat there in silence. I managed to stay quiet too. It was hard, but I somehow did it.

Since I didn't plan to go home, I took one of his shirts without his permission, put it on, and lay down on his bed to sleep. He just watched what I was doing but said nothing.

With my eyes closed, I tried to sleep but with no success because I was too angry. I thought Taka would do something immediately if I stayed quiet since it's not my habit to keep my mouth shut.

"I'm sorry, my love," Taka whispered while stroking my face.

"I didn't want to make you this sad, but I thought it would be easier if you weren't around either. Give me a little more time and I'll make it up to you for everything I've done. I love you," he kissed my forehead.

It was hard not to smile with happiness. So it was worth yelling at him and being this stubborn.

He can take all the time he needs, as long as he still loves me.

[kkurisuac]

𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐧

Pairing: Inui Seishu x Fem!reader

"It's still raining, so I don't recommend you leave," I said to Inui, looking out the window.

"But I don't want to be a bother. I've already stayed too long," he objected immediately.

"It's fine. You're not bothering me at all, so stay until the rain stops," I tried to persuade him.

"Alright, as you wish, Y/n," he agreed.

Inui and I have been a couple for about two months now, but this is the first time he's come over to my place, and luckily, because of the rain, he can't go home quickly.

Since this is the first relationship for both of us, we're a bit embarrassed. This is evident from the fact that we sat in silence for the first ten minutes, just staring at each other. It was quite awkward, but then we relaxed somewhat and started talking.

I want to spend as much time with Inui as possible, but we both have a lot to do, so we usually can only be together normally at school.

"WHAT?" I freaked out as soon as my mom said she wouldn't be able to come home because of the storm, and I would be alone with Inui all evening.

"Y/n, don't overreact," my mom said over the phone.

Of course, I want to spend time with Inui, but a whole evening alone in a house? I'm not ready for that yet.

"Um… Mom just said she can't come home because of the storm, and it would be better if you stayed for the night," I sat back next to Inui, who blushed a little upon hearing the news.

"Oh, okay, if that's alright with you," he replied, flustered.

"Of course, I'd be happy if you stayed," I said, my face completely red.

A small silence settled between us, which bothered me more and more, so I quickly suggested something to break the mood.

"Shall we watch a movie?" I asked, trying to cover my embarrassment.

"Okay, what would you like to watch?" he asked kindly and made room next to him for me to sit.

During the movie, Inui fell asleep in my lap, and he looked so sweet, there were no words to describe it. For a while, I just watched his beautiful face and thought about how grateful I was for him. I didn't dare move because I was afraid of waking him, so I stayed still for at least an hour.

I was about to touch his hair when he sleepily opened his eyes and looked at me.

"Y/n..?"

"Y-Yes?!" I said a bit louder because I got scared. I hope he didn't notice that I wanted to touch his hair because then he would surely think it's weird to do that while he's sleeping.

"Sorry for falling asleep," he rubbed his eyes, still lying in my lap.

"It's okay, no problem," I replied, trying to hide my red face.

"Aren't you sleepy? Shouldn't you be going to bed?" he touched my face.

"Well.. No. I'm not sleepy yet," I replied, not showing that I'm actually afraid to sleep during a storm.

"Y/n, you're beautiful," he smiled at me. The sight and statement hit me so suddenly that I thought I would faint right there. It was too much cuteness at once for me.

"Seishu-kun, don't say such things so suddenly," I turned away from him.

"You're so sweet," he laughed.

Inui sat up next to me and continued to watch me smiling as I was embarrassed. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't be mad at him for this because his smile was too sweet.

"Y/n?" Inui looked at me as I snuggled up to him when there was a sudden flash of lightning.

"Sorry, I just got scared," I pulled away from him, trembling.

"Are you scared?" he asked, hugging me.

"A little," I lied and clung to him, closing my eyes.

"How cute."

"It's not cute that I'm scared!" I suddenly lifted my head, finding myself very close to Inui. Inui blushed a bit too but didn't move his head away. His eyes kept alternating between my eyes and my lips. I knew what he wanted, but I wasn't sure what I should do. He patiently waited for me to give him permission to kiss me. Finally, I closed my eyes and waited for my first kiss.

Surprisingly, it was better than I thought. All the little butterflies in my stomach started fluttering and had no intention of calming down. My first kiss was with Inui, and that means more to me than anything.

"I love you, Y/n."

"I love you too, Seishu-kun."

[kkurisuac]

𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤

Sypnosis: Y/n lost her love

Pairing: Sano Shinichiro x Fem!reader

Warning: angst

In a few days, Y/n will be Sano. She will marry the man she really loves and nothing can keep them apart. They may be young and have time, but it's pointless to stall if they're going to live and die together anyway.

Today they went to choose their rings and they couldn't have been happier, especially when Shinichiro tried the jewel on her finger. Everything is ready for Y/N to become Shbinichiro's wife in two days' time, just waiting for the day, which is proving to be quite difficult.

Like the last days Y/N spends the week at her parents' house, because they are a bit overreacting to the wedding, as if they will never see their daughter again after the wedding. Not that she's been home so much in the last few years anyway, because she's been staying over at Shin's most nights and spending most of the day with him. They have been happy together every day for six years and do almost everything together.

After the ring rehearsal, Shinichiro took Y/N home and promised her that he would pick her up in the evening and they would go on a date. Because of the wedding, they had less time for dating because they were busy getting ready. However, they will finally make up for lost time tonight.

"Y/n everything okay?" Y/N's mum asked her daughter, because she had been sitting silent for a while, but a bad feeling was taking over her and she was unable to calm down.

"Yeah, it's just that Shin said he'd be here at half past nine, but he's nowhere to be found and he hasn't sent any messages."

"Don't worry my girl, he must have a lot of work to do."

"But he'd still let me know, especially since he promised."

"My dear, you'll get married soon, then you'll spend time together." Y/N continued to worry because her mum takes it lightly, but Y/N knows her fiancé and knows he doesn't do that, he always answers the phone when she calls or texts, but nothing now.

Y/N kept trying to call him, but it didn't ring any more, so she tried Mikey instead to see if he knew anything. But of course no one answered the phone, so she was sure something was up.

"Girl, calm down."

"Mom, please! Shin doesn't do that and besides none of the family members answer. Something must be wrong."

Y/N was pacing back and forth looking at her phone to see when it would ring, because she was getting more and more worried and she could feel that something was wrong, because Shin would never do this to her. But suddenly her phone rang and she answered it hopefully, but it was only Wakasa.

"Waka! Do you know anything about Shin?" she asked without saying hello as soon as she picked up the phone to her best friend, because finally someone called her.

"Y/n… I'm sorry."

"What? I don't know what you're talking about." she could sense in his voice that something was up, but she tried to block out the bad thoughts.

"Shinichiro is dead." No. 'I'm sure he didn't. This is some kind of really bad joke. Why would anything like that have happened. It's a lie. It has to be!' she thought as she heard

"What? Waka, what are you talking about? Is he dead? Shin? My Shin?"

"I'm sorry Y/n."

Suddenly she didn't know what Waka was saying and she didn't want to realize it. Her love would never leave her, he promised to be with her forever and would never leave her.

"Mom… Mom, they took Shin. They took Shin away from me. Mom!" she cried as her tears began to flow.

"Shin! They couldn't take him away from me! It can't be true!"

She got up and went to Shin, because it was impossible for him to leave her. He has always been with her and she have always been with him and they are and will always be together, because they are made for each other. He is her love, her only love, the one she will die with. No one can take him from her, she won't let them.

"My little girl, calm down. My baby, don't do this." Her Mom and Dad held her down.

"Shin. I want Shin, Mom! They took him away from me!"

She doesn't want to accept that her love could die. She believe it when she see it, but she know it's a lie. It can't be anything but a joke.

"I'm going to Shin right now. Let me go!"

"Honey, fine, have it your way, but first calm down a bit."

She composed herself a bit, because Shinichiro doesn't like it when she cry and he would probably laugh at her.

Y/n was not at all willing to accept that Shinichiro was dead. She simply could not imagine her lover leaving her without a single word.

Her tears were falling and she sat silently waiting to see her lover again.

"Shin… Shin get up. This is not funny, get up and let's go home. We'll be together." she tried to wake him up Y/n, but of course she couldn't.

"Sano Shinichiro! Listen to your fiancée for once, please… Don't leave me alone. You and I must be together and then die together. You can't leave first! Shin!" she embraced her lover Y/n with the thought that he would open his eyes and look at her as he always did.

"Shin! Shin! Shin!" cried Y/n, raging and completely out of her mind. Her mother tried to take her away, but she wouldn't make a move. "Y/n-chan, please don't do this." Mikey called to the girl.

"But Mikey your brother's body is cold. I have to warm him up because he will get sick and he can't get sick two days before our wedding."

Y/n was completely stubborn and stuck by Shinichiro no matter what anyone said to her.

"Y/n." Wakasa addressed the girl, and she didn't even look at him. She just hugged Shinichiro and teased him, hoping to wake him up.

"Y/n!" said Wakasa more firmly, and Y/n noticed.

"Come on, let's get out of here."

"But I can't leave Shin alone. If he wakes up and I'm not with him he'll be scared that something happened to me and I don't want him to worry about me."

"Y/n, Shinichiro won't wake up. He's already d-"

"Don't say it! Don't say it!" shouted Y/n and everyone was startled by her outburst. "Shin is alive, why would he be dead? Why would he leave me?"

"What do you think Shinichiro would say if he saw you like this?"

"He would be sad and worried."

"That's why you must pull yourself together and then you can visit him again."

"No, Waka. If I leave here they might hurt him or take him away from me. And it would kill me if they took him away from me."

"They won't. I'll stay with him until you're gone. Okay?"

"Are you sure? You won't let anything happen to him, right?"

"Not by chance, but come on, you have to go home."

Wakasa managed to talk Y/n into going home, but she wanted to go to the apartment she shared with Shinichiro anyway.

Everything in the apartment reminded her of him. Everywhere she looked, a memory came to mind, like their first night here. All the times they had spent together came back to her, and she collapsed in the middle of the living room in pain, crying at the top of her lungs.

She went upstairs to the bedroom and, sniffing one of Shinichiro's T-shirts, she cried in a fetal position on the bed. She knew her lover was dead, but she refused to accept it. Shinichiro had been her other half for as long as she could remember, the one she had imagined a future with and so she couldn't imagine having a future at all.

"Shin, they took you from me. And I love you very much, more than anything. I felt the cold of your body, yet… No, you didn't die, that's impossible. Right, my love?"

"Someone give me back Shin."

Y/n cried herself to sleep, full of bad and bad thoughts. But she simply lost the meaning of life, because for her, Shinichiro was the meaning.

Y/n didn't know it, but she was the last thought of her love. He wanted to see Y/n one last time, to be with her one last time, to hold her and smell her scent. But he couldn't survive, no matter how much he fought for his love.

[kkurisuac]

𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐥𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲

Sypnosis: a suicidal girl meets the boy who saved her

Pairing: Baji Keisuke x Fem!Reader

Warning: depression, suicide

It's cold. I'm cold. I can't breathe. Someone is talking, but I don't understand what. My eyes are so heavy.

My head hurts. It's so hard to breathe. Where am I? Why is everything white here? This is definitely a hospital, but what am I doing here?

"Are you awake?" asked a boy with long black hair. I raised my eyes to him and suddenly everything came to me. I wanted to commit suicide. But even that didn't work.

"Are you feeling okay?" he continued to ask, but I just started looking at the ceiling.

I remember now. I walked into the sea to drown. I wasn't fully conscious anymore, I almost made it, but someone lifted me out of the water. I don't remember completely, but I felt someone holding me and trying to wake me up with no success. So that would be the boy.

"Why did you save me?" I asked him the question, not very nicely.

"Because you were drowning?!"

"That was the point."

"Oh, well, sorry I didn't let you die, next time I'll watch from a distance." he said wryly.

"You'd be doing a favour for me."

"You're welcome by the way, no thanks necessary." he left me alone. Of course, let me be the one to blame.

I just want to be dead already.

I was discharged from the hospital and went home, where I was immediately yelled at for where I was. No, they didn't ask me where I was, how I was. Again, the point was not to ruin the family's reputation.

"Why can't you behave yourself? Look at your sister, she'd never do that!" shouted Dad.

"She studies normally, she works, she helps your mother at home, she does voluntary work and she's smart and pretty too. But that's less true of you." he continued to shout at me.

"Tell Y/n where were you last night?"

"I wanted to commit suicide." I declared, and my father laughed at me.

"Y/n how many times do I have to tell you not to draw attention to yourself like that! Follow your sister and believe me everyone will know about you."

Enough. Stop it.

I refused to listen any longer to how much better my sister was, so I went to my room instead.

I looked in the mirror and saw the same girl I saw every day. The girl I want to kill because her existence is useless. She'll never be good enough for anyone because she's an insignificant little girl. She's not even pretty, she's not smart, she doesn't stand out, she's not even average. Her parents don't like her, then others even more so. No one would even notice if she died.

I went down to my family's for dinner and hoped to get away with all kinds of bullshit today. But a night like this only exists in my dreams, because I'm the target of the whole family.

"Y/n you're not having this for dinner tonight." Mom said like she was normal.

"What? Why?" I asked, because I didn't understand what was going on.

"You've put on a few pounds lately so you can't be seen in public. You need to lose a few kilos."

"Look at your sister's beautiful figure. If you ate normally and exercised, you could be as beautiful as your sister."

Enough. Stop saying that.

Since I was in no mood for anything, I went back to my room and listened to music.

Why was I born? What have I done to be treated like this? Why doesn't my own family love me? Why am I alive?

"Miss, would you like some dinner?" knocked one of the maids.

"Aren't my parents having dinner or something?" I asked, because I don't normally get that question.

"Your parents and your sister are eating at a restaurant today. And they asked me to give you this." he handed me a little piece of paper with Dad's handwriting on it.

'We're off to celebrate your sister's graduation, we won't be home till late. Learn, so that next time we celebrate you.'

My father is so nice. They left me out of this one too. Not so surprising, I think.

I wanted to kill myself for two weeks. It's time to try again, maybe this time I'll succeed.

Walking down the dark street, waiting for a car to come and hit me. First and last time I would finally get lucky.

"You again?!" a motorbike stopped in front of me. Right in front of me, so I didn't even get a scratch.

"I can't die because of you again?!" I saddened.

"Alright, why do you want to die so badly?" he asked rather nervously.

"It's none of your business."

"Where are you going now? To hang yourself? Or what will you try next?"

"That's a good idea. I'm going to get some rope."

Taking my hand, he wouldn't let me take a step.

"Let go of me. Don't interfere with my suicide attempt."

"Why would a girl like you want to die? And answer me normally!" he squeezed my hand a little.

"Don't take your anger out on me." I took my hand away. I wanted to end the conversation, but he stopped me.

"You want to take your anger out with me instead of committing suicide?"

"I'd rather be suicidal." I replied without thinking. "But before that, it doesn't sound bad. What are we going to do?"

When I agreed I hadn't fully thought it through, but I felt that there could be no harm in it, after all, I was leaving this world anyway.

"Are we really going to set a car on fire? How legal is that?" "Not at all" he handed me a match. I was a little unsure about what we were doing, but it seemed exciting to do it.

As soon as the boy said I could do it I dropped the match and the car started burning nicely. I had no idea it would feel so liberating.

"I am Baji Keisuke."

"Y/n."

"Now that we've committed a crime together, will you tell me why you want to die?" he looked at me seriously. Sighing heavily, I gave in and quickly began to summarize my life.

"I'm an accidental child raised by a foster woman because my parents put work first and I found out at a young age how untalented I am, unlike my sister. She's good at everything, really. She dances, she studies, she works, she competes, she volunteers, she's beautiful, she's smart, she has everything to be perfect. But I'm not. That's it." I was satisfied with that, but as I could see Baji is not satisfied.

"Every day I'm told how much better my sister are, that I'm useless, that nobody cares about me. They always compare me to my sister. Today, for example, they went to celebrate my sister's birthday, leaving me at home to study. It's terrible to be born into a rich family where fame comes first." I finished.

Baji sat in silence for a while waiting for me to speak.

"Is that reason enough to commit suicide?"

"No. It may be bad now, but if you commit suicide, you will never know what the future would have been. You might meet someone close to you who will help you realize how wonderful you are."

"We just set a random car on fire, how did you get so serious now?" I asked, laughing slightly.

"Hey, don't laugh at me." he said to me.

"I've never thought about the future."

"Then maybe now would be a good time."

"And tell me, can you help? I mean, save me when I'm about to commit suicide?" I asked, completely serious, and he agreed

"You told me not to commit suicide because I never know what the future holds. It's a bit ironic, isn't it Baji?"

"I came to your grave, not the other way around." I put the flower down in front of him.

"Six months ago you saved me when I needed it. Why didn't you let me save you too? Why did you commit suicide? That was my role."

"Thank you for saving me every time, but tell me I can commit suicide now? I'm not interested in a future that doesn't include you. Baji, I want to be with you." I wiped my eyes, but my tears didn't stop for a moment.

It was because of him that I had been able to survive so far, but he chose to go ahead. However, I can't leave him alone, so it's time to go after him.