kollector-of-stims

[kollector-of-stims]

Sorry for the recent inactivity! A lot has been going on, but I feel much better and back to my usual self now!

I wanna show off this cute squishy jellyfish I love! It came in a pack of 3, one blue, one green, and one red, for about 5 USD. A classic water dna ball squish with tentacles to pull and stretch! Two of the tentacles are breaking at the base early, but I consider that worth it for the price of all 3. The brand is Toymendous!

[kollector-of-stims]

Whoever it was that asked for a cat stimboard, did you want real cats, cat stim toys, or both? And any specific themes or colors?

[kollector-of-stims]

Cute cat stress ball from Walgreens!

[kollector-of-stims]

Hello you! I'll probably make a post whenever I'm ready for more requests, though if someone sent anything into my inbox beforehand, I will still hold onto those until I can get to them!

As for the mature label thing, I'm still sure TONS of my posts are still marked as mature and hidden from people, but it's nice that my entire blog isnt blocked for you! Maybe it is a sign! Some connection that is meant to be!

cat stimboard if you're taking reqs? thank you so much!

The thing is that I wanna do this, but I've held off for a few reasons:

1. I'm still working with med stuff (feeling better mood wise tho!) So once I'm at my best I'll be able to make it comfortably!

2. This whole false mature content label thing. If I make a stimboard that's completely innocent that's all cats, will it be flagged? It might at this point. I wondered if I should wait until this flies over to make content, and I dont even know if my whole blog has been marked? Can anyone even see me anymore? I suppose you could still see it, but youd have to enable mature content. And that's just not fair 🙄

[kollector-of-stims]

cat stimboard if you're taking reqs? thank you so much!

The thing is that I wanna do this, but I've held off for a few reasons:

1. I'm still working with med stuff (feeling better mood wise tho!) So once I'm at my best I'll be able to make it comfortably!

2. This whole false mature content label thing. If I make a stimboard that's completely innocent that's all cats, will it be flagged? It might at this point. I wondered if I should wait until this flies over to make content, and I dont even know if my whole blog has been marked? Can anyone even see me anymore? I suppose you could still see it, but youd have to enable mature content. And that's just not fair 🙄

[kollector-of-stims]

I noticed SO many of my gif posts have been flagged and labeled as mature content and it's taking too much energy to fix all of them. Theres so many :( way more than shown

Edit: I went through the stim tag with all content including mature enabled, and lots of stimboards posted recently have also been marked. If you're in the stimboard tag and seeing a lot of hidden posts, more than likely they're innocent

[kollector-of-stims]

Ooo I like what you meant here about the "drug addict" thing! I can see how it would come off sounding weird now 💀

I suppose I could have instead said that I dont want to seem like a potential threat nor some problem to be watched over or silently judged? Something like that. Wanting to ask questions to a pharmacist without them thinking I'm a robber, or somehow giving my doctor a reason to be cautious when prescribing me stuff.

I understand, but some people may not, and that sucks too. Cant magically change the opinions of other people who happen to have the stuff you need to function in their hands. I don't want to give them any potential reason to....deny me anything due to the risk of my own safety.

Oh and now maybe I'll ask my doc about trying wellbutrin (again. Gave me anxiety a bit back but that could have been from many things and may improve now that I'm taking vitamins) and maybe thatll change things! I remember wellbutrin specifically motivating me :)

hello i wasn't sure how to message you on this. but euphoria, fast heart rate and stiming more can be concerning. maybe you just need to go down a bit on the dose. but euphoria means the dose might be to high or you have another co occurring disorder. i hope it has gone away but please tell someone because its not normal for a regular dose. you should feel like u are able to do things not pushed as well, almost like you feel it does nothing but enough where u can function. usually they start on smaller doses because a small effect can do a big amount. its not well you have sever adhd so you need a higher dose. i'm not trying to gate keep or anything i just have known people with these experiences and wanted to let you know.

Oh sorry that I just now saw this! It's weird because I've been taking this higher dose for a few days and mood-wise I dont feel AS euphoric, but moreso like...less anxious? Also noticed that these side effects are more prominent if I take it on an empty stomach and they're more suppressed if I take it with food. Maybe taking it with food is a better way for me to take it, but I know for sure that sometime next week I have an appointment and my plan was to go down 5mg. Mainly to save money but also to adjust my dose as needed depending on the day.

Yesterday I tried to see if I could go without it, but eventually took it because I couldn't eat due to smell sensitivity and it helped like...calm me and took my mind off thoughts of smell. I think this proves this is definitely the med for me, especially since it also doesnt affect my sleep and does still give motivation. Currently worried that my words right now may not sound coherent because I just woke up, had taken one an hour ago and fell back asleep afterwards, and now I'm up again and still feel like I could sleep. It calms my racing thoughts.

Uhh so basically this version is different from another generic I had because these pills from this manufacturer dissolve better and therefore basically may act like a higher dose? Since the others I tried probably didnt absorb as well and therefore werent as strong. Taking this one with food seems to be the best idea in this case then, or at least until I talk to my doc. Yeah?

I also didnt mention that around two and a half weeks ago, I got a few tests done and I was diagnosed with like 4 different vitamin deficiencies and an infection, and with my generic at the time, I legit couldnt even get out of bed without 15mgs. A pill and a half. So we were like "ok, 15mgs is my dose".

Now though as my vitamin levels are rising with my supplements, maybe it would make sense to go back down, especially if this different brand acts stronger. At least if I use this same brand. So 10mg of wilshire if I get that or 15mg if I get teva (the first brand I used). This...cant really be done consistently though because of how I'm never guaranteed to get a specific manufacturer with controlled substances like these. Unless my doctor let's me keep my current paper rx forms for 15mg AND gives me some with 10mgs. But then I'm scared of things like, I dunno, legal trouble? Because it feels like I'm trying to hoard, but I just want to make sure I dont run out of medicine. But THEN I also feel like I come off as a drug addict😭

I just want to get my medicine consistently because I need it to function and be productive, but since it's got so much potential for abuse and can be dangerous, you just cant get it as easily and apparently people with more power dont think we all need medicine to be normal people ig.

ANYWAY LOL I DIDNT MEAN TO VENT LIKE THIS TO YOU IM SORRY- But yeah I'll try 10mg wilshire when I can. For now I'll take my 15's with food if I feel like they're too strong. Vitamin deficiency made me feel weak and fatigued, but now that I'm not as unwell? A smaller dose does make sense to me. For your peace of mind at least, euphoria, fast heart, and stimming urges have gone down some since my last post. And when I thought my lower dose had caused those, my heart test showed my heart was fine and I'm sure the heart stuff is the biggest deal.

I'll figure this all out and itll work somehow. Thank you for telling me and caring enough to tell me, and I'm sorry this got so long 😩

[kollector-of-stims]

hello i wasn't sure how to message you on this. but euphoria, fast heart rate and stiming more can be concerning. maybe you just need to go down a bit on the dose. but euphoria means the dose might be to high or you have another co occurring disorder. i hope it has gone away but please tell someone because its not normal for a regular dose. you should feel like u are able to do things not pushed as well, almost like you feel it does nothing but enough where u can function. usually they start on smaller doses because a small effect can do a big amount. its not well you have sever adhd so you need a higher dose. i'm not trying to gate keep or anything i just have known people with these experiences and wanted to let you know.

Oh sorry that I just now saw this! It's weird because I've been taking this higher dose for a few days and mood-wise I dont feel AS euphoric, but moreso like...less anxious? Also noticed that these side effects are more prominent if I take it on an empty stomach and they're more suppressed if I take it with food. Maybe taking it with food is a better way for me to take it, but I know for sure that sometime next week I have an appointment and my plan was to go down 5mg. Mainly to save money but also to adjust my dose as needed depending on the day.

Yesterday I tried to see if I could go without it, but eventually took it because I couldn't eat due to smell sensitivity and it helped like...calm me and took my mind off thoughts of smell. I think this proves this is definitely the med for me, especially since it also doesnt affect my sleep and does still give motivation. Currently worried that my words right now may not sound coherent because I just woke up, had taken one an hour ago and fell back asleep afterwards, and now I'm up again and still feel like I could sleep. It calms my racing thoughts.

Uhh so basically this version is different from another generic I had because these pills from this manufacturer dissolve better and therefore basically may act like a higher dose? Since the others I tried probably didnt absorb as well and therefore werent as strong. Taking this one with food seems to be the best idea in this case then, or at least until I talk to my doc. Yeah?

I also didnt mention that around two and a half weeks ago, I got a few tests done and I was diagnosed with like 4 different vitamin deficiencies and an infection, and with my generic at the time, I legit couldnt even get out of bed without 15mgs. A pill and a half. So we were like "ok, 15mgs is my dose".

Now though as my vitamin levels are rising with my supplements, maybe it would make sense to go back down, especially if this different brand acts stronger. At least if I use this same brand. So 10mg of wilshire if I get that or 15mg if I get teva (the first brand I used). This...cant really be done consistently though because of how I'm never guaranteed to get a specific manufacturer with controlled substances like these. Unless my doctor let's me keep my current paper rx forms for 15mg AND gives me some with 10mgs. But then I'm scared of things like, I dunno, legal trouble? Because it feels like I'm trying to hoard, but I just want to make sure I dont run out of medicine. But THEN I also feel like I come off as a drug addict😭

I just want to get my medicine consistently because I need it to function and be productive, but since it's got so much potential for abuse and can be dangerous, you just cant get it as easily and apparently people with more power dont think we all need medicine to be normal people ig.

ANYWAY LOL I DIDNT MEAN TO VENT LIKE THIS TO YOU IM SORRY- But yeah I'll try 10mg wilshire when I can. For now I'll take my 15's with food if I feel like they're too strong. Vitamin deficiency made me feel weak and fatigued, but now that I'm not as unwell? A smaller dose does make sense to me. For your peace of mind at least, euphoria, fast heart, and stimming urges have gone down some since my last post. And when I thought my lower dose had caused those, my heart test showed my heart was fine and I'm sure the heart stuff is the biggest deal.

I'll figure this all out and itll work somehow. Thank you for telling me and caring enough to tell me, and I'm sorry this got so long 😩

[kollector-of-stims]

As a fellow nail biter, the thing that had helped me the most in the past and with the most success was stim toys, sugar balls in particular. Basically any stress ball that you enjoy or have yet to potentially favor way more over others! That and video games.

Looking for advice/tips/ideas whatever

So, I'm biting my nails/skin around the nails since I can remember. I do it when I'm anxious, bored, overwhelmed, etc. Sometimes I don't even notice that I'm doing it. I've tried several things to make it stop. Bitter serums/Nail polish, acrylic nails, chewelry, normal nail polish...nothing worked. I can't wear gloves for most of the time. It's really painful. I want to have nails that I can actually use nail polish on. Did anyone successfully stop it? And how?

[kollector-of-stims]

So apparently @staff thinks cute little animals playing in the bath tub and people making rice balls and cookies count as "mature content". No wonder this website is hemorrhaging users.

[kollector-of-stims]

WHYYY-???

[kollector-of-stims]

Question about adhd (and maybe autism?) and sensory?

Do lots of people with adhd have a sensitivity to smells and/or heightened sense of smell? And in turn perhaps have trouble eating because of it or are just overall thrown off or miserable from smells that wouldnt bother others? Ex: smelling detergent on your clothes while trying to eat but even tho the smell isnt a "bad" one, the mix still makes you food repulsed no matter how hungry you are.

I got medicine recently and when I'm OFF of it, smells suddenly just hit me super hard and sort of pick on me until I go somewhere else, like outside. But when I'm ON it, my smell sensitivity is decreased and I dont have as much trouble tolerating them? Does this all sound like something that can happen or happens more than someone would think?

[kollector-of-stims]

I'm on medicine for my adhd now and I thought it would make me use stim toys less, but I actually use them more when I take it?

I talk a lil bit about my medicine and experience below the cut. Even then, if you want to skip past lots of text and straight to a summary, you can start reading where the "💊" pill emoji is :)

If you have any questions regarding medicine, I think I've done enough research to maybe give you answers from my POV! (My meds made me focus so much on reading articles and answers)

I'm on dextroamphetamine (the kind I use is technically zenzedi) and it's the main active ingredient in adderall. I heard adderall can cause anxiety however, and I also did research and learned that dex on it's own can actually help anxiety and increase your mood? This actually checks out for me because my anxiety mainly comes from me focusing on sounds and those sounds would send me into fight or flight. But with dextroamphetamine I'm not focused at all on background things that would set me off and it's really relieving. It also causes some slight euphoria but I'm kind of hoping that goes away because I want to see if I truly feel happier without this medicine like...forcing it? Oh and on the topic of sleep since sleep issues seem to be common with stimulants: dextroamphetamine doesn't seem to affect my sleep at all. In fact, I think it might HELP me sleep because it sort of quiets my mind and I dont distract myself with thoughts. I can also wake up, take it, then sleep for another hour or so and wake up feeling refreshed!

I also do have decreased appetite now, but not completely! Especially since pure dex can come in instant release and wear off after 4-6 hours. I think I'm technically overweight so even if this side effect were more noticeable it hopefully wouldnt be a game ender. But still, once it wears off, I am able to eat! Sometimes it makes my heart feel like its pounding which worried me, but usually when I eat somethingor take supplements I need, that goes away. Also I think being hungry can also cause a pounding heart feeling? Or something related to your nutrients can.

Negative aspects: There is slight withdrawal where as it wears off, I feel kind of tired and irritable. Not depressed or sad or anxious, but moreso like I dont wanna be bothered and I am extra comfortable laying down and resting my body. Potentially also easier to anger in general. This comedown period lasts around an hour maybe but does subside and I feel normal again afterwards. And the BIGGEST DOWNSIDE to this medicine? Definitely availability. Like all stimulant medications and controlled substances, they're harder to get due to safety and stock reasons, so sometimes you may have to try different cheaper generics and see which ones work for you. My dex right now is 15mg of zenzedi manufactured by Wilshire. These have an inactive ingredient that aids in absorption and other generics may not have it. It was 110 USD for 60 15mg pills though. A lot in my opinion but with insurance its 190 USD. I used a goodrx cupon which was the cheapest option. This should last me a month since I take 2 a day unless i dont need a second dose on some days. May try and have my doctor prescribe me higher amounts of a lower dose in the future due to lower cost. Still debating this. The first tablets I tried werent as strong, but still made an overall positive difference over being unmedicated.

💊 Bottom line, I'm on medicine now and it has no real bad side effects. It also eliminates my anxiety instead of causing more of it. Slight appetite depression but I can eat when a dose wears off after 4-6 hours. There is an hour of a " tired and cranky" withdrawal as it wears off. The best versions with an inactive ingredient for better absorption can be expensive but one cheaper generic I tried wasnt awful and mainly just didn't have the post predictable effect.

IMPORTANT: Different people react differently to medications. One may work for someone and not someone else. You may have to suffer a little bit while trying what works for you. Hopefully you'll find what you need if you need it! I'm sending you good luck!

[kollector-of-stims]

I had been checking our books a million for the tiny nee doh nice cube and they still didnt have it, BUT they had the nee doh niceberg and I got it! I enjoy it more than I thought I would because I thought it would be too tough, but it isnt as tough as I thought it would be. Could be because it's kind of warm where I am? Anyway so I love it SO MUCH!!

[kollector-of-stims]

I had a meltdown today and I felt ashamed. It was for a stupid reason.

My favorite stim toy, that I used everyday for 3 weeks straight at work, broke and it made me so upset. It was expensive and I had to walk 40 minutes to get it bc the mailman dropped it off at the office without bringing it to my apartment. So I also had to work for it and it was special (needoh nice cube). It popped at the seal.

My morning was already stressful. It was my first day back after my burnout break and I still felt exhausted. I was tired, stressed and exhausted and my stim toy breaking was the trigger.

I was hitting my thighs, I tried so hard not to cry out loud and scream. I was so upset I got so nauseous. And the worst part is, no one left me alone.

The care worker was sitting in front of me trying to get me to answer and I couldn't. I couldn't speak or respond. She had to get the main care taker aka my favorite. Her and my Husband took me to the Time Out room to calm down and omg that room is amazing!! It's full of like this white couch mattress thing? And everything is white and it has dim lights and also bean bags with blankets and pillows and did huge water tube thingy for visual stims!

I was able to calm down and use my AAC device to talk bc the care taker was still in the room with us. I explained the situation with her.

After calming down more I was able to verbally talk with her and she let me info dump about perfumes to her

And the best part is, bc I'm still so extremely overwhelmed with this new work place and my symptoms, she's making a daily plan for me to go to the Time out room after every break for 30 min everyday till I'm more used to it!

I hope this will help me

[kollector-of-stims]

✨My fidget toy collection ✨

[kollector-of-stims]

Peeps mystery egg plushies!