kpopincorrectsayings

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Jinjin: I’m not going to be mad, just tell me why you have a fake ID.

MJ: *incoherent mumbling*

Jinjin: What was that?

MJ: You have to be over 18 to hold the puppies at petco.

Jinjin:

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Onew: Girls like it when a guy's mysterious.

Key: Got it.

*Later that night on a date*

Eunji: Do you have any plans for this weekend?

Key: That's none of your business.

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Irene: Why would Krystal help?

Yoona, agreeing: She's not like you at all.

Minho: I'll just appeal to her better nature.

Luhan: How you gonna do that?

Yoona: Cruel and unusual punishment?

Irene: Unimaginable torture?

Siwon: Imaginable torture?

Taeyong: Your singing?

Siwon, Luhan, Yoona and Irene: NO!!!

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Benji: Can you get us a table while I park the car?

Heedo: Sure.

*5 minutes later*

Heedo, running out of the restaurant with a table: START THE CAR NOW.

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*Minho and Jisung in the middle of fighting*

Seungmin: When you two are done releasing sexual tension, we have got a meeting we need to finish!

Han: Huh?

Lee Know: That’s weird! Seungmin actually made a rational point!

Han, sulking: Uh… sorry, that was childish and things got out of hand.

Lee Know: That’s no fair! It’s my job to be mature!

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Donghae: Hyung, do you like me?

Eunhyuk: We're standing at the altar of our wedding. We just exchanged rings.

Donghae:

Donghae: ...so is that a no?

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Wow, I've never thought about it like that before. And I never will. I've already forgotten what you said, good bye forever.

Ten

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Cop: You know why I pulled you over?

Chanyeol: Depends on how long you were following me!

Cop: Why don't we just take it from the top?

Chanyeol: Here goes: I sped. I followed too closely. I ran a stop sign. I almost hit a Chevy. I sped some more. I failed to yield at a crosswalk. I changed lanes at the intersection. I changed lanes without signaling while running a red light and speeding!

Cop: Is that all?

Chanyeol: No... I have unpaid parking tickets.

Chanyeol: *Opens his car's glove compartment; a huge pile of tickets spills out*

Cop:

Chanyeol: Be gentle.

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Jessica: My sister hides wine in the walls.

Krystal: You know that's a wine rack! I'm not "hiding" it there!

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Yuri: I'm getting married and I'd love you to be at the wedding.

Yoona: Oh, as your maid of honor?

Yuri, getting down on one knee: As my wife.

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Jaehyo: Yesterday P.O. told me that if Taeil was mad at me, I should just close all the jam jars tight, so when Taeil needs to open it he’ll have to talk to me.

Jaehyo: And last night he wanted some jam.

U-Kwon: So he asked you to open it?

Jaehyo: He broke the jar, Yookwon.

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Sanha: Jail’s no fun, I’ll tell you that.

Eunwoo: You’ve been?

Sanha: Once. In Monopoly.

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Mark: Noona, where'd you get the coconuts?

Wendy: We found them.

Mark: Found them? In Canada?! The coconut's tropical!

Wendy: What do you mean?

Mark: Well, this is a temperate zone!

Wendy: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin or the plover may seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land?

Mark: Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

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Ryeowook: What would you like for your birthday?

Siwon: A dragon.

Ryeowook: You have be more realistic.

Siwon: A hi-five.

Ryeowook:

Ryeowook: So what color do you want your dragon to be?

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Bom: I trust Minzy.

Dara: You trust Minzy?! Minzy's eating a cup!

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Johnny: If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic.

Johnny: A small group of people huddle around an object on fire, ritualistically chanting a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object.

Taeil: You must be fun at parties.

Jaehyun: Sounds like a party to me.

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*At Han Geng's birthday party*

Heechul: Go big or go home!

Han Geng, tears in his eyes: I am begging you, Hyung, for once in your life, go home. Please. Just this once. Go home.

Heechul, bringing in a petting zoo, circus, and fireworks: I'm going big!