lackofhonor
lackofhonor
Burn It All Away
6K posts
Can't seem to find peace. The List
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lackofhonor · 3 days ago
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vibes are off. gonna lay face down on the floor until further notice.
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lackofhonor · 3 days ago
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Mermay 21-30 by Christophe Young
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lackofhonor · 4 days ago
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Me: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love this. So good!
Come Softly
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Frankie Morales x nonbinary!reader
Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist
Summary: At Will's wedding, Frankie noticed your back pain.
Warnings: Chronic back and neck pain and feelings around that. Ablism. Misgendering.
Immersivity: Reader uses they/them pronouns. Reader dresses more fem for the wedding (dress, talks about heels), reader has chronic back/neck pain.
Written for @mani-pedro I had this idea in my head for a while but I saw you were in pain rn and needed comfort so I decided NOW IS THE TIME
Written also for Disability Visibility! Theres one more technical day left as it goes through May, BUT I have a few who reached out about extensions so if you need one just hmu!!!
1.4k Words
A/N: Yes this is a version on my LAL universe you'll recognize the names Alice and Lorelei okay I just like using them in other stories!!
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The night had been going well, honestly. Frankie had convinced you it was okay to wear your flats, the ones with doctor Scholl's support built in to help the body pains, and although it did upset you that your body couldn’t handle the sexy heels you used to rock back in the day, you do feel more comfortable.
Only Benny’s girlfriend, Alice, had made a comment about the shoes, but you didn't feel like a fight tonight. You didn’t know what Ben saw in her, especially when it was clear to everyone but Ben that Santi was in love with him. Ben was a mystery to everyone, including Will. Despite the outgoing personality, he kept his secrets to himself.
You danced slow to Come Softly To Me by the Fleetwoods, Frankie’s arms wrapped around you. Frankie looked handsome as ever, his little tuxedo and bowtie, grinning like an idiot the whole time he stood to the right of Will for his wedding. Frankie loved his friends dearly, and seeing them happy made him happy. You thumb at your engagement ring. You and him were next.
He rubs at the known sore spots, the backless dress allowing open access. “How are you feeling? I notice you’ve been sitting a lot.”
You want to lie and say fine, but you knew you needed to trust Frankie with your pain, love him enough to share it.
“My back hurts…” You mumble into the crisp, starched dress clothes. 
“Usual spots, or more whole back?”
“Whole upper back and then that spot lower right. By my ribs.”
Frankie hums, starts rubbing at that spot to ease it. Frankie knows all your usual pain points, the pain and him long enemies. You once joked that him and your back were enemies, but Frankie insisted it wasn’t your back that was the problem, but the pain. You know he doesn’t want to issue the blame to your body, but sometimes it’s like you can’t separate the two. Your body and pain were one most days, it was just a matter or how much. You never could medicate to pain free, only manageable. 
🎶‘I want, want you to know
I love, I love you so
Please hold, hold me so tight
All through, all through the night’🎶
“Feels nice…” You love how he touches you, whether for pleasure or to ease the pain, sometimes both. His longer fingers knew intimately the ways in which you hurt, the ways you tingled and aches and thrummed. He knew how to take so much of the pain away. Never all of it, but much of it. He was a pilot, an engineer. You body was like a plane to him, something his hands were capable of bringing to their highest performance.
In the early days of dating him, it was a rare fight, but his attentiveness did, in fact, cause one. You were tired of chasing a cure. While you tried new things to ease the pain, you gave up searching to cure pain that had been with you for so long. Your neck and back were fucked, they always would be. Frankie hadn’t given up on you, and you found it sweet… but sometimes you had wondered if he was trying to cure his way into a partner who could sit at barstools without a backrest, who could go on long hikes, who didn’t need a heating pad packed every vacation and a medicine cabinet full of remedies.
You wondered if he wished he had a partner who could wear heels.
It had caused a fight, and you tried to break up with him, tried to free him… but Frankie never let you go.
“No.”
That was his response to the break up. He didn’t mean it in a possessive way, in the way of ‘you are never allowed to leave me’ but in the way of ‘I know what you’re doing, and I won’t allow it.’
Since then he’d made you feel like it was his pleasure to care for you, that it was something he enjoyed, something he’d do whether or not you were disabled.
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo...
The song fades away, and Frankie pulls you towards the bathroom. “Come on, I got some icey hot patches.”
In the family bathroom, you try to protest. “I don’t need it… I’ll be fine.”
Frankie turns you around, using the open back to access the two pain spots. Your heart clenched, realizing he’d packed icy hot for you in his wallet, just in case… 
The relief was damn near immediate.
“There we go.” Once again you are maneuvered, this time to him where he gave your lips a peck. 
You frown at him. “But I can’t cover up the patches…” 
He looks at you with a question. “So?”
“People will see…”
“Baby…” Frankie grabs your shoulders. “Listen to me. You’re in pain, this is a treatment. Don’t be embarrassed. I got your back, always.”
You knew he did. You smile at him. He always did.
*
Frankie was talking to Ben, Santi, and Alice although that last part was not voluntary. You were over by the snacks talking to Will’s new wife, Lorelei, and he was waiting for a chance to go rejoin you… but you two seemed to be getting on so well. It was nice when their partners got along; no one liked Alice, and it made an issue.
“Well, they have back pain.” Ben starts explaining why your neck and back hurt all the time, which snapped Frankie back to reality.
“Hm?” He turns back to his friends (and Alice.)
Alice speaks quick to deflect, “It’s nothing! Just saying she looks very pretty with those shoes.” She gestures to you. 
“They” Santiago correct. “And no, you fucking weren’t, you were being a bitch.”
Frankie’s eyes widened. It takes a lot for Santi to call a woman a bitch; his mother would kill him.
Ben turns to Santi. “Jesus Pope! Relax”
“No!” Pope points at Ben. “Your girlfriend is a bitch and she’s rude to everyone, including you! Everyone sees it but you’re so blind you can’t see you deserve to be treated-!”
“Hey!” Frankie stepped in between his two friends, veins thrumming because he knew she said something about you but there was another matter to deal with. His hands kept the men apart. “We are not doing this at Will’s wedding.” He turned to Alice. “Are you going to tell me what you said?”
Alice hesitated for a moment, then her face settled, dropping the mask of innocence. She is about to stand on her shit. “She- they or whatever, is making a scene at someone else’s wedding. It’s embarrassing to watch.”
He turns to look at Ben as Ben looks at his girlfriend, confused. He’s seeing her for the first time exactly as she is. “Why would you say that… They’re in pain…”
Alice tried to refute that you were just looking for attention.
Frankie turned back to Alice. “Do not. Ever. Speak about my fiance like that. Ever.”
She glares right back. “You can’t tell me what to-”
“Get out.” Ben’s voice from beside Frankie. When she looked shocked, he insisted. “I mean it. We’re fucking done, Alice.”
She took a step forward, and when Benny flinched Santi stepped between them. When he was angry, Santi was a fearful sight.
Alice stormed off. Ben, anxiety over finally breaking up ran off in another direction, Santi taking off after him. Frankie wandered his way back to you.
*
On a long bench outside, you lay on Frankie’s lap while he rubbed your neck. Only a few straggles from the wedding party and those not ready to end the night remained. You watched Will and Lorelei dance their last dance. Santi and Ben danced in the corner.
“What was all that about? Earlier?” You asked, eyes on the others.
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“I thought a fight was about to break out. I tried to keep Lorelei distracted, didn’t want her to see a fight at her wedding.”
Of course you’d noticed. You always did.
Frankie sighed. “Alice said something shitty, Ben decided it was his last straw.”
“OOOHHHH! That’s why Santi and Benny are finally dancing together. Did you stop the fight?”
Frankie thought back. Usually, he was the peacemaker. But he wasn’t sure he was the calmest person in the room that moment. Definitely calmer than Santi and his anger issues though.
“We got it figured out. I think she’s gone now.”
He rubbed your neck, getting right at that spot right where your scalp ended.
“Thank you for taking care of me, baby.”
“Always gonna take care of you. Always.”
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THANKS FOR READING ILYYYY
So happy with so many great submissions to my event!
and thank yall so much for all the support while i struggle with my anxiety. it has not been easy <3
Please consider reblogging to support artists and writers
tagging usually plus thos whove expressed chronic neck/back pain to me as well. I suffer from it pretty bad so this was near and dear to me.
@my-secret-shame @missdictatorme @sunshineispunk @pedge-page @miraclesabound @clawdee @max--phillips @kewwrites
appriciate y'all. Wen to the doctor, got back on anti anxiety and anti depressants. Hopefully will be feeling better soon.
Other piece written for event is Joel x deaf!reader
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lackofhonor · 4 days ago
Text
Me: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I love this. So good!
Come Softly
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Frankie Morales x nonbinary!reader
Masterlist : Triple Frontier Masterlist
Summary: At Will's wedding, Frankie noticed your back pain.
Warnings: Chronic back and neck pain and feelings around that. Ablism. Misgendering.
Immersivity: Reader uses they/them pronouns. Reader dresses more fem for the wedding (dress, talks about heels), reader has chronic back/neck pain.
Written for @mani-pedro I had this idea in my head for a while but I saw you were in pain rn and needed comfort so I decided NOW IS THE TIME
Written also for Disability Visibility! Theres one more technical day left as it goes through May, BUT I have a few who reached out about extensions so if you need one just hmu!!!
1.4k Words
A/N: Yes this is a version on my LAL universe you'll recognize the names Alice and Lorelei okay I just like using them in other stories!!
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The night had been going well, honestly. Frankie had convinced you it was okay to wear your flats, the ones with doctor Scholl's support built in to help the body pains, and although it did upset you that your body couldn’t handle the sexy heels you used to rock back in the day, you do feel more comfortable.
Only Benny’s girlfriend, Alice, had made a comment about the shoes, but you didn't feel like a fight tonight. You didn’t know what Ben saw in her, especially when it was clear to everyone but Ben that Santi was in love with him. Ben was a mystery to everyone, including Will. Despite the outgoing personality, he kept his secrets to himself.
You danced slow to Come Softly To Me by the Fleetwoods, Frankie’s arms wrapped around you. Frankie looked handsome as ever, his little tuxedo and bowtie, grinning like an idiot the whole time he stood to the right of Will for his wedding. Frankie loved his friends dearly, and seeing them happy made him happy. You thumb at your engagement ring. You and him were next.
He rubs at the known sore spots, the backless dress allowing open access. “How are you feeling? I notice you’ve been sitting a lot.”
You want to lie and say fine, but you knew you needed to trust Frankie with your pain, love him enough to share it.
“My back hurts…” You mumble into the crisp, starched dress clothes. 
“Usual spots, or more whole back?”
“Whole upper back and then that spot lower right. By my ribs.”
Frankie hums, starts rubbing at that spot to ease it. Frankie knows all your usual pain points, the pain and him long enemies. You once joked that him and your back were enemies, but Frankie insisted it wasn’t your back that was the problem, but the pain. You know he doesn’t want to issue the blame to your body, but sometimes it’s like you can’t separate the two. Your body and pain were one most days, it was just a matter or how much. You never could medicate to pain free, only manageable. 
🎶‘I want, want you to know
I love, I love you so
Please hold, hold me so tight
All through, all through the night’🎶
“Feels nice…” You love how he touches you, whether for pleasure or to ease the pain, sometimes both. His longer fingers knew intimately the ways in which you hurt, the ways you tingled and aches and thrummed. He knew how to take so much of the pain away. Never all of it, but much of it. He was a pilot, an engineer. You body was like a plane to him, something his hands were capable of bringing to their highest performance.
In the early days of dating him, it was a rare fight, but his attentiveness did, in fact, cause one. You were tired of chasing a cure. While you tried new things to ease the pain, you gave up searching to cure pain that had been with you for so long. Your neck and back were fucked, they always would be. Frankie hadn’t given up on you, and you found it sweet… but sometimes you had wondered if he was trying to cure his way into a partner who could sit at barstools without a backrest, who could go on long hikes, who didn’t need a heating pad packed every vacation and a medicine cabinet full of remedies.
You wondered if he wished he had a partner who could wear heels.
It had caused a fight, and you tried to break up with him, tried to free him… but Frankie never let you go.
“No.”
That was his response to the break up. He didn’t mean it in a possessive way, in the way of ‘you are never allowed to leave me’ but in the way of ‘I know what you’re doing, and I won’t allow it.’
Since then he’d made you feel like it was his pleasure to care for you, that it was something he enjoyed, something he’d do whether or not you were disabled.
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo
Dum-dum, dum-doo-dum, dooby-doo...
The song fades away, and Frankie pulls you towards the bathroom. “Come on, I got some icey hot patches.”
In the family bathroom, you try to protest. “I don’t need it… I’ll be fine.”
Frankie turns you around, using the open back to access the two pain spots. Your heart clenched, realizing he’d packed icy hot for you in his wallet, just in case… 
The relief was damn near immediate.
“There we go.” Once again you are maneuvered, this time to him where he gave your lips a peck. 
You frown at him. “But I can’t cover up the patches…” 
He looks at you with a question. “So?”
“People will see…”
“Baby…” Frankie grabs your shoulders. “Listen to me. You’re in pain, this is a treatment. Don’t be embarrassed. I got your back, always.”
You knew he did. You smile at him. He always did.
*
Frankie was talking to Ben, Santi, and Alice although that last part was not voluntary. You were over by the snacks talking to Will’s new wife, Lorelei, and he was waiting for a chance to go rejoin you… but you two seemed to be getting on so well. It was nice when their partners got along; no one liked Alice, and it made an issue.
“Well, they have back pain.” Ben starts explaining why your neck and back hurt all the time, which snapped Frankie back to reality.
“Hm?” He turns back to his friends (and Alice.)
Alice speaks quick to deflect, “It’s nothing! Just saying she looks very pretty with those shoes.” She gestures to you. 
“They” Santiago correct. “And no, you fucking weren’t, you were being a bitch.”
Frankie’s eyes widened. It takes a lot for Santi to call a woman a bitch; his mother would kill him.
Ben turns to Santi. “Jesus Pope! Relax”
“No!” Pope points at Ben. “Your girlfriend is a bitch and she’s rude to everyone, including you! Everyone sees it but you’re so blind you can’t see you deserve to be treated-!”
“Hey!” Frankie stepped in between his two friends, veins thrumming because he knew she said something about you but there was another matter to deal with. His hands kept the men apart. “We are not doing this at Will’s wedding.” He turned to Alice. “Are you going to tell me what you said?”
Alice hesitated for a moment, then her face settled, dropping the mask of innocence. She is about to stand on her shit. “She- they or whatever, is making a scene at someone else’s wedding. It’s embarrassing to watch.”
He turns to look at Ben as Ben looks at his girlfriend, confused. He’s seeing her for the first time exactly as she is. “Why would you say that… They’re in pain…”
Alice tried to refute that you were just looking for attention.
Frankie turned back to Alice. “Do not. Ever. Speak about my fiance like that. Ever.”
She glares right back. “You can’t tell me what to-”
“Get out.” Ben’s voice from beside Frankie. When she looked shocked, he insisted. “I mean it. We’re fucking done, Alice.”
She took a step forward, and when Benny flinched Santi stepped between them. When he was angry, Santi was a fearful sight.
Alice stormed off. Ben, anxiety over finally breaking up ran off in another direction, Santi taking off after him. Frankie wandered his way back to you.
*
On a long bench outside, you lay on Frankie’s lap while he rubbed your neck. Only a few straggles from the wedding party and those not ready to end the night remained. You watched Will and Lorelei dance their last dance. Santi and Ben danced in the corner.
“What was all that about? Earlier?” You asked, eyes on the others.
“Hm? What do you mean?”
“I thought a fight was about to break out. I tried to keep Lorelei distracted, didn’t want her to see a fight at her wedding.”
Of course you’d noticed. You always did.
Frankie sighed. “Alice said something shitty, Ben decided it was his last straw.”
“OOOHHHH! That’s why Santi and Benny are finally dancing together. Did you stop the fight?”
Frankie thought back. Usually, he was the peacemaker. But he wasn’t sure he was the calmest person in the room that moment. Definitely calmer than Santi and his anger issues though.
“We got it figured out. I think she’s gone now.”
He rubbed your neck, getting right at that spot right where your scalp ended.
“Thank you for taking care of me, baby.”
“Always gonna take care of you. Always.”
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THANKS FOR READING ILYYYY
So happy with so many great submissions to my event!
and thank yall so much for all the support while i struggle with my anxiety. it has not been easy <3
Please consider reblogging to support artists and writers
tagging usually plus thos whove expressed chronic neck/back pain to me as well. I suffer from it pretty bad so this was near and dear to me.
@my-secret-shame @missdictatorme @sunshineispunk @pedge-page @miraclesabound @clawdee @max--phillips @kewwrites
appriciate y'all. Wen to the doctor, got back on anti anxiety and anti depressants. Hopefully will be feeling better soon.
Other piece written for event is Joel x deaf!reader
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lackofhonor · 7 days ago
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some of my personal favorite moments from the LADbible interview
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lackofhonor · 15 days ago
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Pressed flower collage of a comet moth, by Helen Ahpornsiri
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lackofhonor · 15 days ago
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And this is also why so many counselors and therapists aren't great at their jobs. Finding one who can meet you where you are at is extremely difficult.
hey here’s a secret: self esteem and self worth are actually different things.
I struggled for the longest time because people (usually therapists) assumed I had poor self esteem. But I don’t. I genuinely think I’m a wonderful, kind and strong person who makes meaningful art and puts kindness out into the world.
But self worth is believing you are worth something just as you are. On your bad days. That you’re not your productivity, or your creative output, or your usefulness to others. Just as you are right now.
And so long as you think your worth is tied to any of those things you’re going to burn yourself out in a self imposed meritocracy. You are worthy of love and care and kindness just as you are. And of food and joy and rest. You never have to earn any of these things.
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lackofhonor · 15 days ago
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Idk where this came from tbh just felt like sharing my Foxiyo angst with the world 🫡
(I may have sketched this whole thing out before realizing that *that part* with Vader and Fox takes place on a ship, not on the ground… forgive me)
((Also please ignore any weird crops. I blame Tumblr’s image compression habits))
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lackofhonor · 15 days ago
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im having A Day™️
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lackofhonor · 17 days ago
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he got that shit on
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lackofhonor · 17 days ago
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Sneaky kisses
(via)
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lackofhonor · 19 days ago
Link
What caused the rapid disappearance of a vibrant Native American agrarian culture that lived in urban settlements from the Ohio River Valley to the Mississippi River Valley in the two centuries preceding the European settlement of North America? In a new study, researchers from Indiana University-Purdue University Indianapolis reconstructed and analyzed 2,100 years of temperature and precipitation data—and point the finger at climate change.
Employing proxies of prehistoric temperature and precipitation preserved in finely layered lake sediments, somewhat analogous to tree-ring records used to reconstruct drought and temperature, the IUPUI scientists have reported on the dramatic environmental changes that occurred as the Native Americans—known as Mississippians—flourished and then vanished from the Midwestern United States. The researchers theorize that the catastrophic climate change they observed, which doomed food production, was a primary cause of the disappearance.
“Abrupt climate change can impose conditions like drought. If these conditions are severe and sustained, as we have determined that they became for the Mississippians, it is virtually impossible for societies, especially those based on agriculture, to survive,” said paleoclimatologist Broxton Bird, corresponding author of the new study. “From the lake records, we saw that the abundant rainfall and consistent good weather—which supported Mississippian society as it grew—changed, making agriculture unsustainable.” Bird is an assistant professor of earth sciences in the School of Science at IUPUI.
Keep reading
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lackofhonor · 19 days ago
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hi! 😊💗 could I please request some softness with fox? Maybe he works with the reader and they have a cozy night at home or he saves her from a bad guy and its fluffy at the end? Anything works!
i'm so sorry for the delay on this, finals season is breaking my back, but i hope u enjoy! it heals me to know there are fox girlies out there <33
diplomatic relations
fox x senator fem reader
summary: fox comforts you after an attack on your life.
warnings: none!!
˚☽˚.⋆
Being in the center of attention isn’t uncommon for your occupation, but the context always matters. It’s one thing to have the floor at your Senate hearings, where you can be heard across the many chambers and levels encompassing your singular voice. It’s a completely different experience for medical droids and shock troopers to be crowding around you after an unsuccessful attempt on your life. You don’t know how many more, “Yes, I’m fine,” responses are left in your system as you’re scanned, poked, and prodded to guarantee your well-being. Everyone treats you like a delicate thing. It hardly has anything to do with whether or not they truly care about you.
“Can you remember anything else from the attack?” A shock trooper asks you with his gaze glued to his datapad.
“No,” you answer in a monotone, “Like I said…it all happened quite fast.”
“Do you—”
“When can I go home? I’m not injured,” you interrupt, leaning away from another droid that’s extended an odd-looking probe at you, “I’m fine, really. And I don’t have much else to offer your…investigation, as I’ve already told you everything that happened.”
The trooper looks up at you before turning toward someone else, whom you didn’t notice approaching until now. His armor is a deeply colored red, slightly different from the sparse white designs that everyone else in the Coruscant Guard seems to sport. It stands out, and it’s how you know who lies under the helmet that seems to be glued to his head, with how rarely he takes it off. You’ve known him for a long time at this point in your career—in the war—but that might only go as far as small talk at the Senate Building. Diplomatic relations, and nothing more.
“I’d like to go home,” you clarify to the both of them as they stand in front of you, “I appreciate everything that you’ve done today, but staying here any longer might kill me before my assailant returns.”
The trooper questioning you just before lowers his datapad as if he’s about to respond to your dry humor. He pauses when the commander waves him off, nodding quickly and complacently. Your private room feels much more than that once the door slides shut, even locking out the droids that were at your side a mere second ago. Now, it’s just you and Fox.
“Is something wrong?” You ask warily, unsure why else he would be in here instead of attending to his many other responsibilities.
“No, but you can’t go home tonight. It’s part of procedure until we know the threat is neutralized,” he replies like he’s said this a million times before.
You raise your eyebrows, surprised at first before nodding in understanding. “I’m not staying here.”
“The interior not to your liking?” His tone is stiff as always, but there’s a teasing edge to the question. You’re sharp enough to know that he’s referencing your luxurious lifestyle, maybe even meaning to offend you in some aspect. You can play along, though.
“I suppose it’s a little…” You look around the room, and your eyes land right on him again, “Bland.”
He crosses his arms over his chest, scoffing quietly. “You’re going to have to pretend it’s not for a night or two.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” you sigh and lean back in your bed.
He watches your movements before walking back to the door, already leaving again. “The droids will bring you everything you need. There are two guards assigned to your room for the night. One more down the hall. If you—”
“Wait,” you sit up again, “You’re leaving? I’d rather not be alone…”
“I just told you that you won’t be alone.”
You suddenly miss the irritating crowd as uneasiness churns in your stomach. Despite surviving with only a few bruises to commemorate the event, it’s left a knotted fear that you hope doesn’t show up on your face as much as you feel it. The last thing you want is to be in a room that’s not yours, in a building that’s not yours, with nobody to reassure your safety. At least if you were home, you would have the comfort of your own space.
“I…” You raise your covers over your body and press them into your chest for more warmth, unsure what to say. Fox waits for you at the door, impatiently tapping his finger against his forearm. Drawing your knees into your chest, you tear your gaze away from him and try to look outside the window, where the night sky might provide some relief. But the blinds are down, also probably a security measure.
“I’m not sure how I feel about being in here…by myself,” you confess, staring at the wall.
“I doubt that you want one of us to be in your room all night.”
“I know. I don’t—I just…I hate that this had to happen.” You look at him, wondering if he understands.
He shrugs, turning his head away when he feels your eyes on him. “Guess it means you’re doing something right.”
You rest your chin against your knees, fighting the smile that instinctively reacts to this comment. “I would hope it’s not the other way around.”
“This usually happens when you’re good at your job.”
“You flatter me, Commander.”
The sound of a grainy snicker seeps out from his helmet, traveling toward your listening ears and sending a shiver down your spine. You see that he’s turning to the door again, so you ask, “Where are you going?”
“I’m working,” he says like it’s obvious.
“Isn’t your job to ensure the safety of Republic personnel?”
“Among other things.”
You bite your lower lip before asking, “Then…you wouldn’t mind staying here for a bit? Until I fall asleep?”
His head turns to you slowly, and you assume he’s either bewildered that you even suggested such a thing or angry that you’re still talking to him. Or both. Either way, you could use the distraction.
“What makes you think I have the time for that?”
“You’re still here,” you yawn and shuffle into the bed more comfortably, “Duty calls.”
He’s silent as you close your eyes and add, “Perhaps one of the guards outside would be more open to my request—”
“Fine,” he snaps and stalks toward you, “But only until you fall asleep.”
You smile, feeling the mattress sink at the side when he seems to sit beside you. “You’re such a busy man.”
“It’s part of the job.”
“I’m sure,” you sigh and turn on your side to face him, keeping your eyes closed, “I should apologize for adding yet another thing to your plate today.”
“Nobody knew this was going to happen,” he says, but his tone hardens when he adds, “But we should’ve been able to avoid it altogether.”
You hear dissatisfaction in this, so you tell him, “It’s not your fault. You’re the reason I’m still here.”
Suddenly, a gloved hand covers your mouth and muffles the trailing end of your sentence. Your eyes fly open in confusion, finding that he’s looking down at you.
“Stop talking, and sleep.”
You wrap your fingers around his wrist and pull down, maintaining your squeezing grip as you reply, “How rude. Are you like this with my colleagues, as well?”
“Just you, I’m afraid.”
Startled, you let go of his forearm and tuck your hands back into your chest to keep your blankets close. He studies you quietly before bringing a few fingers to your face, skimming over a fresh bruise across your cheekbone. It doesn’t hurt, but it reminds you of what happened before. You shrink away from his touch, not meaning to appear scared of him. You’re just scared. His hand pauses and then retreats, falling back to the mattress where he tells himself to keep it for the rest of this night. If he can manage that, at least.
“I didn’t think dying was all that bad until today,” you whisper, “But now…the idea of it is a lot more frightening.”
“I’d tell you not to think about it, but I know that’s bullshit,” he sighs. He sounds tired, too.
“Right,” you cringe, not meaning to sound insensitive, “You’re a soldier. This must be so…trivial…to you.”
“There’s nothing trivial to me about your safety.”
You wonder if this is just another repeated line he’s said during a previous time like this, to another senator who scraped together the last of her luck. It doesn’t sound as robotic as usual, though. It’s quiet, with a hint of struggle that tells you he’s being sincere despite the difficulty behind such vulnerability. In all the times you’ve spoken to him, when you’re both hard at work behind glass windows and tall skyscrapers, you haven’t heard something so simple yet so…sweet. So unlike him, or so you initially believed.
“And this sentiment is part of the job, too, then?” You ask sleepily, pressing your face further into your pillow.
“Among other things,” he says again.
You cover your yawn with the back of your hand before reaching for his, tangling your fingers together across the mattress. Your eyes are closed, so you don’t notice his shoulders jolt in surprise at your touch. He nearly pulls away, but the tightening of your hand around his forces him to reconsider.
“I feel a lot better from you being here,” you murmur, “When this is all over, I’ll buy you a drink. If you’re not busy, of course.”
“I appreciate it, but that’s unnecessary.”
You squeeze his hand. “Please. I insist.”
He releases a ragged breath, absentmindedly caressing his thumb across your skin. “Then I might...have time to spare.”
“Fantastic,” you smile.
He smiles back, but you don’t see it. You wouldn’t, even if your eyes were open and watching him as closely as he’s watching you. Because he never sheds his armor, not around anyone but himself. He stays by your side for longer than he needs to, though, long after your breathing has steadied into a calmly unconscious rise and fall. His hand is still laced with yours, occasionally squeezing reassuringly when your eyebrows bunch together in response to your dreams. He wishes so desperately to protect you from whatever consumes your thoughts, but he cannot reach you in your slumber. He can only watch, covered in a bright red that hides the delicate man underneath.
The time runs out when he realizes he can’t get caught up in this moment, though. His hand slips from yours slowly, so as not to bother or wake you, leaving behind only a slight indentation in the mattress. He imagines that he should simply stand up and walk out the door now, but he doesn’t quite yet. Not before pulling his helmet off and looking down at you without any barriers or visors getting in the way. He looks at you with his naked eyes, wondering if you’ll find that he’s worth the sight. But these questions can bother him another time. Leaning downward, he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, not missing the leap of his stomach upon his proximity to you. His lips linger for a second, and then he’s gone.
He’ll see you again, though. You owe him a drink.
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lackofhonor · 22 days ago
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TLDR: The bag contains seeds and was found in a "rock shelter" beneath a bluff by a railroad surveyor in the 1960s, likely in Barry County, Missouri. He kept it in a glass case in a display cabinet with other things for many years. (One relative even took it for " "show and tell" in its case.) The surveyor died and family discovered it in the bottom of a chest. The family knew it was old but HOW old? Through the magic of Reddit, the family connected with an archaeological society who were VERY excitd because this is an extremely rare find. This ancient seed bag is pre-European contact (likely 2k to 7k years ago). Carbon dating may be pursued. This is a fascinating tale and I want to share with how INCREDIBLE this is with tumblr. See link for full crazy awesome tale!
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lackofhonor · 22 days ago
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Omg I love that Robert Reich has been on tumblr!!!
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Your regular reminder that trickle-down economics is a cruel joke designed by the wealthy.
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lackofhonor · 24 days ago
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You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.
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lackofhonor · 24 days ago
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You’re lucky I was available…
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