lauracylon12

[lauracylon12]

[lauracylon12]

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon Meet Cookie Monster

[lauracylon12]

Random Trevor Lefkowitz Headcanons

(Yes, he has some good angst ones too, because I have zero chill)

*He has Bipolar II . This isn’t something he ever really discusses or even acknowledges, except on very rare occasions. It’s still something he finds very embarrassing & kept it very hidden from his bros, to the point of not medicating or receiving treatment for it. The only people he’s mentioned it to are Alberta, Hetty, and Sas. (I’ll probably write up something on just the Bipolar II at another point. Sadly, it explains a lot of ‘plot holes’ with Trevor & is almost a little too on point 😭)

*He died with cigarettes & a lighter in his pocket. American Spirit blues. He has only ever shared them with Hetty because he doesn’t want everyone else globing onto him.

*unfortunately, he left the cocaine in his pants pocket. Adam Pinkus had a fun ride home.

* Adam was one of the only true friends he had made in a long time. Perhaps his only true friend in his adult life.

*As much as he wishes he could have gotten to know Abby, he’s glad that Adam had raised her. He simply could not handle being a dad at that time, let alone many other things. He knows Adam was more equipped to handle fatherhood and marriage than he was at that point.

*He had totally forgotten who Laurie Goldstein was. He’s pretty ashamed of that, but super thankful for Adam.

* Hetty was actually his longest relationship. Yes, even longer than the girl he had moved in with for a bit.

* He’s been in love with Hetty since he died. He was just super weird about it for, like, 22 years. And he still is.

* The reason why the “Good Luck Chuck” situation actually upset him, was because he was upset about how Hetty wanted to get sucked off, despite how they were together. He had been spending a lot of time helping Thor through his grief with Flower, and couldn’t stand the idea of having to go through that as well. But, that was more emotion than he was comfortable with, so he just kinda spun out and got angry.

*It’s not that he didn’t see the chord. He just rationalized that it was from something else (like a part of her outfit),…anything else.

*The reason why Trevor said he didn’t want to get back together with Hetty was because he didn’t want to risk them breaking up again. It makes sense in his mind.

*Pretty much, Trevor sucks at emotion, but we all know this.

*He can only fall asleep with the tv on in the background.

* He’s completely over Bela romantically. He was never actually super into her, but more the idea of feeling “alive” again. He does care about her, though. However, it’s more in an “older brother” way, as Bela reminds him a lot of Jeremy.

* He really wants Jay to like him, and is upset that Jay kinda dismisses him, especially when he feels he’s gone out of his way to be more helpful to Jay than Pete has. He really wants to impress Jay and win him over.

*The Elias thing is complicated. Obviously, he hates the guy. However, Elias reminds him a lot of Ari, so despite absolutely hating him, there’s a small amount of him that wants to impress Elias in a “you’re my only worthy opponent” sort of way. Deep down, he fears he might have turned out like Elias if he had not died when he did. (Ok, not so much a headcanon, as a lot of that comes from one of Asher’s interviews.)

* He’s actually super into ornithology.

* At some point he started writing poetry on the iPad in the kitchen. He will deny that for all eternity. It’s actually pretty good.

…..I have a bunch more that I’ll probably add on later. But that’s all for now.

[lauracylon12]

Pouty Hetty | requested by @lauracylon12 ⟡

[lauracylon12]

Remember the Donner Party. This is basically how that happened.

This may be the worst use of LLMs anyone has attempted, ever. Up there with recognizing mushrooms.

[lauracylon12]

[lauracylon12]

Heyyy, I saw you opened art requests soo could you please draw something with the cake ladies from Yonderland 👉👈

(I absolutely adore your art btw a joy for the eyes 🙏)

I gave up drawing the “gun” ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ) but it was fun to draw them…… i still can't remember their names lmao 🥀

静态 →■← 软件：Turbowarp/Scratch

810x542

[lauracylon12]

thought this screenshot made him look like he has a bun or a small ponytail and decided to roll with it

[lauracylon12]

Hey remember how Noir is an anti-fascist from 1933

[lauracylon12]

who assists the taskmaster's assistant?

[lauracylon12]

How do you have the confidence to write? And post it? How do you not get in your head and end up procrastinating?

I am not allowed to tell my coworkers or patients to go fuck themselves so that energy has to go somewhere. You'll notice the massive holes in when I've published things.

[lauracylon12]

@hettywoodstonenumber1fan

[lauracylon12]

[lauracylon12]

Please reblog this picture of my beautiful son.

[lauracylon12]

The Sound of Music (1965) dir. Robert Wise

[lauracylon12]

Susan self medicated to an extreme amount. To me it gives a sense that Susan and Flower are two halves of the same coin. And Flower is the half that is trying to hide all of the pain and avoid it. Which is also why Hetty, who calls everyone by their full name calls her Susan. She's not going to force her face the side of her that is hurting. I do think we need a Flowerpy or Susanapy, but I also think that her facing that hurt is what would get her sucked off for real.

Thinking about Flower and her journey and honestly I want to just touch on her trauma.

She grew up around a uncle who got her weed and would stare at her friends to long - the implication of this is rather disturbing (especially given the shows way of simply hinting at more than blatantly saying at times).

She had 3 brothers - one of whom we know was in Vietnam (she thought died), and attempted to get her out of the cult ... also her oldest brother.

She was a talented basketball player ... until shed get high and ruin her chances half way through a game (again see above her Uncle).

She got accepted into law school, was on her way to becoming a lawyer, and was in love. Engaged. Only .... to tragically (medical deaths count as tragic) lose her fiance.

Ended up in communes and cults.

I list this out for a reason because its rather clear her uncle is a starting point. At least for some things (we dont know about 2 of the brothers after all). While i dont care if anyone does weed .... this man had a clear fascination with young girls (staring at her friends in a way that Flower comments on it as a ghost decades later raises red flags) and he is actively giving them weed. This is deliberate. And Susan was clearly talented in school - sports wise and intelligence wise - or for her Uncle to be giving her access to something that is sabotaging her chances in regards to a sports scholarship (again based on the red flag behavior I doubt he teaching proper use at the same time).

She would have likely still been in high school when Vietnam stuff began. The first Vietnam draft was in 1969, same year she died (I mention this as i keep thinking the show said "drafted" - so if so the line up is a bit weird there ... anyways still kinda important to consider). The first troops (Marines) went to Vietname in 1965, Susan by then would have been 27 and thus already past the fiance stuff (either in a communes or cult). So, basically, her brother has probably already tried to help her at least once by now ... and then deploys. And THEN she learns (somehow) of the MIA for him.

I strongly suspect before the fiance one of the other brothers likely died and/or disappeared from the family (ran away or something). Add that to what is going on with the Uncle .... Susan losing her fiance and having a mental health crash over losing ANOTHER person (fearing losing more) and dealing with that upheaval with whatever she can .... makes her an easy target by a commune or cult. Likely, the first was a commune.

Some member or leader pulling a "oh, honey, you won't be alone here we all work together and live together. We help each other daily" - which healthy communal living is great but it seems Susan kept getting sucked into bad ones - only to arrive and sure everyone lives together but its got weird rules and weird sort of "I get to sleep with your girl" as well twisted in. Add the drugs and .... oh well there is a reason why we have laws (well some states do) regarding individual sobriety level (be it drugs or alcohol) and consent.

The communes and cults were actively pushing the drugs. We see what it did for Susan - a bright and talented girl - and her ability to make sound judgements. Now there is a lot of layering to it all and not EVERYONE within the cult/communes were guilty (obviously victims too) but the leaders definitely are - especially the ones deliberately built to take advantage. Susan was not in a good place, and no matter how "good" she may believe she was in ... she was not while in those groups. She believed her brother dead - with no one correcting her until death - and believed she had lost him when she didnt pick him.

It is entirely possible, had he come back ONE more time for her shed have left. Healed, recovered, and managed to find herself a happy and healthy life style (be it with one person or multiple people). But losing her brother (believing it at least) kept her trapped in the cycle she had got pulled into. And ultimately the drugs she kept getting exposed to (acid, cocaine, all that harder stuff) sat on her to the point she went "i can hug a bear".

I wonder how many friends walked away from her because of the creepy uncle. Why haven't we heard about her parents? Why have we only heard about this one brother when we know she had 3? How many people did she lose before having her fiance die in hospital (of who knows what) while she was in LAW SCHOOL caused her to have the crash she did? Because like .... Susan was likely going through law school, dating, falling in love, getting engaged, and doing weed .... WHILE SUCCEEDING. She wasn't suffering. Wasn't falling apart. Wasn't crashing. Sure, shed lose a basketball game because she did a bit to much but obviously she found the balance (she is in law school - she has found a balance of sorts) ..... only for her world, her life to come crashing down around her.

It screams as - every suppressed trauma I have been ignore awoken all at once.