lazlohno

[lazlohno]

i hate waking up and already being on the verge of a meltdown. i couldn’t speak and tried to go into the kitchen but people were there so i had to run back to my room. fuck my mother for guilt tripping me about it while i couldn’t respond too - support your autistic kids folks, don’t be like her. often the best way for me is to leave me the fuck alone, but each person has their own preferences and needs <3

[lazlohno]

No more discourse over maia arson crimew's use of neopronouns and labels. If someone asks you how you identify and you can say 'as an enemy of the state' with no exaggeration whatsoever, you get to call yourself whatever the fuck you want

[lazlohno]

safe foods

as an autistic person, i experience the common phenomena among us tistics that is safe foods.

i just felt like listing mine and why they’re safe. my blog, why not?

Blueberries - Round, have 3 different tiers of flavour that usually correspond to size. If they feel wrong, they ARE wrong. this rule ESPECIALLY goes for texture.

Grapes - Oblong, bite-sized. These ones ease me into drinking water when I’m having a rough day. Mostly water themselves, and have two colours, both of which are nice on the eye.

A specific brand of granola bars - Rectangles! Hand-sized. Grounding, for one reason or another. texturally a dream. Granola is only good in this form, fight me. Taste is ALWAYS consistent or something is HORRIBLY WRONG with the bar itself.

Kimchi ramen - The only thing I dislike are the mushrooms, which I just avoid. Never too many spice packets. Consistent, pasta, and can be prepared in two ways depending on how I’m feeling; Broth or no broth. The little vegetables are funny to me. Warm. When I cook it right, the ramen is very nice and consistent texturally.

Common patterns:

Roundness (?)

You can easily tell if something is wrong with the food

Easy to eat

Consistent texture and flavour

This is interesting information which I will now knowingly apply when assessing foods in the future. Fun

[lazlohno]

A ramble about hidden disability lanyards and early expression of my identity

i wear my hidden disability lanyard whenever i go out. it’s VERY decorated, with lots of pins on it, as well as keychains and stim toys clipped on. i am emotionally comfortable wearing it. it gives me something to communicate why i do certain things.

just now i was thinking about something i was asked in school; “Doesn’t it make you nervous that everyone around knows that you’re disabled?”

Hm. I had never thought about it that way. No, not really.

I mean, before I wore my lanyard, I still exhibited autistic traits and behaviours. people just called me weird and crazy for it. now, if they still wanna do that they’ll get (deserved) dirty looks.

Maybe it’s because of how I’ve interacted with my identity. I discovered I was some form of LGBTQ+ fairly young, maybe 9? Age isn’t a reliable marker of time for me. Anyway, I was also very much on the internet, and quickly discovered other people like me - people who were loud and proud about their identities, which gave me the confidence to be like that too. Because of this, I was very confident in that aspect of my identity (despite having issues everywhere else, as is - I think - usual for that age.). I expressed my queerness openly online and among my… nicer peers.

Perhaps my early experience in expressing my identity, as well as receiving backlash and ignorance for it, prepared me to be more confident in my neurodivergence?

I mean, in my mind, the worst they could say is some ableist rhetoric that I know is untrue, right?

Sure, some comments will stick with me for longer, (Looking at you, “Are you gonna get the Barbie set for your Christmas?” guy, who said that after making fun of my stim toys and comfort items I was actively using to regulate myself.)

but meh. I’ve lived through worse. I’ve heard worse, and worse comments come back to me when I’m feeling worse.

So I can handle it, genuinely.

It just made me a bit confused. The question from earlier, I mean.

Yes. Everyone around me knows I am disabled.

But they would’ve known anyway.

I might as well be proud of it!

[lazlohno]

today i went to visit a friend but since my bag was fully packed i wouldn’t have space to put it since i’d be taking them off pretty quickly (we were just meeting in town as a halfway point and i was planning to take them off in my friend’s house) so i just DIDN’T WEAR THEM, because i thought it would be fine

it….. wasn’t.

it could’ve gone worse, to be fair..

i didn’t have a full meltdown or anything, but at every crossing i flinched hard and was near tears whenever the thing beeped, and i was absolutely sure that if an ambulance or any siren went by i would’ve been done. luckily that didn’t happen, and i had stim toys on me which pulled me through IMMENSELY, but it’s safe to say i was drained as all hell when i got there.

[lazlohno]

all AAC should be completely free forever. no there shouldn't be "free versions of paid AAC apps" i mean like every single feature and option should be free forever and ever. we should not have to pay to communicate.

[lazlohno]

I would like to talk about the spoken word accessibility feature that has been added to the ios 17 update as someone who is semiverbal. I have not talked much on this blog in particular about what semiverbal means for me.

- I have difficulty getting words out

- I have difficulty knowing what words to say or what order

- i have difficulty remembering words and how I am meant to use them

- a lot of my aac use is by looking at words in sentences to copy and paste to create my own

- another part of my aac use is simply looking at words until i can figure out what i need to say.

all personal experience divulged, pros and cons

pros:

- it is free for apple users

- easy look up (i do not have to find an app, it is built in by triple clicking the home button once on (for me))

- you can save frequently used phrases

- you can copy and paste into the text box

- it allows me to communicate in more languages as i know how to write better than talk

- as someone who can verbally speak at times i was able to create a voice that sounds like my own speaking voice

Cons:

- there is no photo/word display/buttons

- there is only an empty text box

- difficult on high need days when need to scroll through words to find thought

As it is so new I don’t have a lot of experience with it but I can update you as my experience continues. I saw nobody talking about this and thought I would share my personal experience

[lazlohno]

i hate when my sensory issues conflict. today i got really overwhelmed in my first period due to the noise but I couldn’t put on my noise-cancelling headphones because my hair was wet.

the solution of course was the run out of the classroom with my hands jammed over my ears and would not recommend

[lazlohno]

sometimes you just have to let yourself be a bit neurodivergent.

i hate going out, it gives me a lot of anxiety and sensory input that i dont like, and i am often forced to talk to people.

so i do this thing on more difficult days, or sometimes just for fun, where i "bring a fictional character with me". i walk and imagine Fictional Character walking next to me. they talk to me, reassure me, hype me up, whatever i need them to do.

today dean winchester came christmas shopping with me. he went over the list with me of stuff i needed to get, told me i was doing a good job every time i finished in a certain shop, reminded me to take a deep breath when i got a little overwhelmed.

and yea. its kinda silly. and i know its just me talking to myself in a different voice, but it Works! especially since all of my special interests/hyperfixations tend to be tv/movie related.

so do what you gotta do to Get Shit Done. stop holding yourself to neurotypical standards. if you need Fictional Character to tell you you're doing a good job, do it! if you need Favourite Singer to walk you to school, do it! yea it might feel silly but you're literally fighting against your own brain to get stuff done every single day. you can have a little self indulgent daydream, as a treat.

[lazlohno]

I HAVE A SUNFLOWER LANYARD HELL YEAH >:)

got that autism drip fr

[lazlohno]

pinned post!!!! ☎️

hello there internet traveller!!!! explorer even!!!! my name is Lazlo and I use they/them/theirs, vey/vir/veys, and xe/xem/xers pronouns. i’m non-binary and genderqueer, and in the sexuality department i’m asexual, grayromantic, and polyromantic. i am a minor!

this side blog is primarily for me to ramble and waffle about my disabilities, but i’ll drop off an opinion or two on whatever else comes to mind on occasion!

speaking of my disabilities!! i’ll list them here, so we’re all clear on what’s going on with me, a status check on the leebrain, if you will.

autistic

adhd

social anxiety & GAD

panic disorder

c-ptsd

chronic pain

paranoia

s.a.d

depression

insomnia

i also experience auditory hallucinations, dissociative episodes & verbal shutdowns/speech loss episodes. i’m suspected to have dysgraphia or something similar as well.

(for clarification on why i listed some of these conditions as disabilities, if you’re confused; i went off of the most common definition of disability i’ve come into contact with - a mental or physical impairment that affects a person’s ability to participate in certain activities and interact with the world.)

NOWWW, ONTO THE FUN BIT!! (my interests, media-specific. i had to stop myself from listing more lol)

ace attorney

the magnus archives (i’m mid season 4!! no spoilers please!!)

pokémon

undertale

deltarune

sk8 the infinity

bungou stray dogs

ghibli movies (my favourites are howl’s moving castle, ponyo, and princess mononoke!)

jekyll & hyde (the book and a ton of it’s adaptations!)

spider-man

rottmnt

madoka magica

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood

gravity falls

dialtown

generation loss

blue period

jrwi: the suckening

little nightmares 1 & 2

5 of my favourite movies, in no particular order!

The Truman Show

Legally Blonde

Drifting Home

Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse

Howl’s Moving Castle

7 of my favourite animes/mangas in no particular order! (it was SO HARD to only choose 5!!!! so i made it 7!!!! still hard!,,)

Sk8 the Infinity

Blue Period

Bungou Stray Dogs

Kotaro Lives Alone

Toilet-bound Hanako-kun

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood

Madoka Magica

And finally i’m almost done with the listing!! 5 of my favourite games, again in no particular order!

Pokemon. The whole franchise. (But I ESPECIALLY love Soul Silver, B&W, Sun&Moon, Arceus, and Sw&Sh…)

Little Nightmares

Undertale

Deltarune

Ace Attorney - the whole franchise again haha

if you read all this… thank you!! and aaaa, why are you down here?!? (/silly)

here’s a fun fact from me for you, all special-like! - my favourite animal is a canadian lynx, cuz of their big ol’ paws and tufted ears, etc. did you know that they bury their food in the snow to use like freezers? if not, now you do! if so, we both know that! cool!

[lazlohno]

in my opinion emoji pronouns are absolutely rad. keep doing what you’re doing fellas

it’s like the next evolution of gender expression that comes with access to emojis. pictograph gender. how is that not fascinating