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Baking #6: Chocolate Chip Alminoa Cookies

The zucchini bread was consumed so quickly that I had to make some more cookies that I could eat. This recipe was adapted from Ariana Bundy's "Sweet Alternative" which has many recipes that are gluten, dairy and soy free (AMAZING!). These cookies are also vegan, as they do not contain eggs!  This recipe is actually called mock oatmeal cookies, but I have adapted the recipe to suit my needs, and therefore felt it reasonable to change the name to something more fun! After making them today, I decided to reduce the amount of sugar in them because I found them too sweet. I will put the original amount of sugar needed, and then in brackets I will put my revised amount, so you can decide what works best for you.

Chocolate Chip Alminoa Cookies- Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Vegan, Peanut Free, Oat Free

1/2 cup of coconut oil, liquefied

1/2 cup honey or agave nectar or 1/4 cup maple syrup (I would recommend 1/8 cup honey, 1/8 cup agave nectar)

1/3 cup brown sugar

1/2 cup almond butter (other nut butters will work too)

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 tsp cinnamon

1 1/4 cups of gluten free flour mix

3/4 cup quinoa flakes (any other gluten free grain flakes can work, like poha or buckwheat)

1/2 tsp xanthan gum

1 tsp baking soda

Ample amounts of dairy free chocolate chips (you be the judge, but don't over do it or else there will be more chocolate than cookie!)

1) Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F. You can line your baking pan with parchment paper, but if it is non-stick you should not have to line it. 

2) Mix together coconut oil, sugars and almond butter until well mixed and creamy. Add vanilla and cinnamon and again, mix well with an electric mixer.

3) Add in segments the gluten free flour and quinoa flakes, and mix by hand. Make sure everything mixes evenly. Halfway through adding all the flour and flakes, add xanthan gum and baking soda to the dough, and again mix well.

4) Blend in the chocolate chips!

5) Using a tablespoon, take portions of the dough and squish the dough into balls. Rolling it might make this flaky mixture fall apart, so squeeze it together firmly. Place cookies on the pan and put 'er in the oven for 10-12 minutes. The cookies will appear soft but will harden when they cool.

6) Let the cookies cool on the baking sheet for a bit before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely. These cookies are best eaten fresh, so eat them within 3 days if you want fresh cookies!

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Yoga and Tea- My First Experiences with Moksha

Today was my first hot yoga class ever. It was apparent to me very quickly that my summer goal to do yoga every day is going to be too easy.

I love it.

First off, I have never sweat so much in my life. I feel so refreshed and a bit sticky from the sweat, but it made me feel cleansed of any toxins inside me.

Second off, the heat made me feel extremely comfortable, since I hate the cold. Anything warm is wonderful.

Third, my stretch was so much deeper and easier. I thought Moksha would be so different from my regular yoga flow, but I knew all the poses and was able to focus and relax even more in the heat. This was the easiest time for me to just focus on my breath and the flow. It will only get easier with more frequent practice.

Needless to say, it was an amazing experience, and I cannot wait to go do some more tomorrow. Doing an Energy Exchange was probably the best choice I have made this year (well I have made many good choices, but this one I am excited about). Essentially with the Energy Exchange you spend 3 hours a week cleaning and maintaining the beautiful yoga studio and for that you get UNLIMITED yoga at any studio. That's right. On demand yoga. It doesn't get better than this for hot yoga.

On top of amazing heated yoga, the first thing I wanted when I got home from practice was a nice cup of hot comforting tea. If yoga makes me crave tea, I am so excited to keep going. 

Because doing yoga every day is going to be a simple pleasure, I have decided to make yoga sub goals for the summer.

1) Try all the different forms of yoga Moksha offers.

2) Try to vary your classes each week, but take 1-2 hatha or power flow classes a week to challenge yourself. Also do one none heated deep stretch yin or restorative class per week.

3) Take a sivassana (head stand) class and get upside down!

4) Be able to have complete flexibility in my legs and back.

I am so excited for this. It is also allowed to just wear loose shorts and a sports bra in the class, which allows me complete freedom in these classes. 

Physical and mental healing, here I come!

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Baking #5: Zucchini Chocolate Chip Bread

I am so glad to be finally home in Toronto! Though I have to go in and out for my exams these next few weeks, at least I can begin my healing process after the craziness of this year. All I need to do is keep strong and soon I can close the chapter on second year with some good life lessons under my belt and begin writing a new chapter to my life.

Since I was the primary baker at my house, when I left for university, my mother did not bake as much as I did. Now that I am home, I will ensure that the house always has treats, of the gluten and dairy free variety. 

My first recipe of this break is a recipe from a book I received as a gift called Sweet Vegan. I have modified the recipe to suit my needs, such as adding eggs and using coconut oil rather than egg re-placer and butter substitute. I have never tried zucchini bread before, and since this was one of the gluten free recipes, I decided to give it a shot. Unsurprisingly, I love it! It has banana bread texture minus the bananas and of course, the chocolate bits are the best part! Plus I can eat it, which makes things even more peachy.

Zucchini Chocolate Chip Bread- gluten free and dairy free

4 tbsp coconut oil, slightly melted

2/3 cup dark brown sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup gluten free flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp xanthan gum

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 cup chopped pecans

1 cup finely shredded zucchini, drained

2 eggs

1/2 cup dairy free chocolate chips

1/2 cup gluten-free chocolate chips

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease an 8x8 inch baking pan with coconut oil.

2) Beat the coconut oil, brown sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs and vanilla and again mix until fluffy. Add in zucchini and ensure it is beaten in well. Slowly add flour, baking soda, cinnamon, xanthan gum, and again beat, but enough to just mix the dry ingredients (do not beat it too much). Stir in the pecans and chocolate chips, to maintain the airiness of the bread.

3. Using a spatula, spread batter onto baking pan. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean from the centre. Cool on a wire rack.... or just dig in and enjoy. It will probably be a bit more crumbly if you eat it right away, but if it is cooled it stays together and can be easily cut into squares.

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What is getting me through life right now

Flawless | via Tumblr on We Heart It http://weheartit.com/entry/109520364/via/almvnd

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Heard this at a coffee house tonight, lyrics spoke to me.

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If you're going through hell keep going- Winston Churchill

I have felt really sad these past days. Though today I managed to find the perfect place to live next year, nothing can prevent my sadness from filling me.

This year I have been able to hide what his going on underneath. I always try to be genuine, but this year I haven't been as genuine as I normally am, because if I was, people would avoid me or pity me. I love hearing about others problems and helping them and giving them everything I can. But when it comes to me, I feel like I can't rely on many people. They either tell me what to do, yet they are egocentric and do not fully take the time to understand my perspective or don't realize I just need someone to listen. They also just don't listen, despite all the listening I have done for them. I can pour my heart out into the open, and they will walk away from it, leaving me with heart juice spilled all over my shoes.

People ask me what's up, I tell them. They then tell me that they're here for me- are the really? Would they spend the time to hear me out? Would they see my perspective? Would they not try to give me advice? I doubt it. Most people can't understand, and I don't blame them, but don't feel bad when I don't ask you for help. It's just not your job to do it.

I have great support, yet I still feel so lonely.

I have been hiding the fact that I am crying on the inside. Crying with all my strength. I feel defeat. I cannot wait for this to be over so I can just leave second year behind me as a rough learning experience and focus on better things and a fresh start. For some reason these past few days I can't hide that I am crying on the inside.

My heart is filled with so many emotions that it is spilling out of my eyes.

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He is so helpful!

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20 Goals for 20 Weeks of Summer

Of course these span across the whole summer, and are not just one a week sort of goals.

1) Study the MCAT material enough so you feel confident in yourself

2) Network enough at the lab so you will be able to return there when you need to do another project

3) Contribute as much as you can to the lab and really learn about eating disorders and mental health research in Toronto

4) Attend multiple educational conferences (Helping Kids Cope with Depression and Anxiety, NEID Symposium, Psychiatry Research Conference, NEDIC conference)

5) Take a cake/cupcake decorating class

6) Save! Save! Save! so you don't have to break into your TFSA until the fall

7) Apply for the anatomy TA position

8) Get the anatomy TA position

9) Go down to Miami Beach for a relaxing week

10) Bake Bake Bake and post on your blog

11) Practice yoga every day at Moksha

12) Write more reflections about how you are doing to act as benchmarks for your physical/mental/spiritual health

13) Make a beautiful recipe card box

14) Learn to play classical guitar again

15) Continue to remain active (working out, cycling, running, walking everywhere)

16) Find freedom and make peace with your guts

17) Go on a wine tour in Portugal/Spain

18) Spend quality time with your best friends 

19) Get out with your mother!

20) See 3+ concerts (Already have Michael Buble, Queen and Katy Perry lined up...)

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At the end of the day, it always helps

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Yet another life transition

This year has been a test for me; one of the most brutal tests I have ever taken. I am amazed I have made it out in one piece. Only nine days left until I go home to finally relax! I cannot wait to leave this place, it has too many bad omens and memories- too many tears and negative emotions were felt between these four walls. I need a change of scene. Today something happened that I really wish did not happen- it was not my choice and I could do nothing about it. Though it will be for the better, it just makes me so sad/mad/frustrated/confused/overwhelmed that it had to come to this and that things can't move forward until things go their separate way. A few of my dreams were crushed today, and though it will stop me from crying night after night and worrying day after day and feeling worthless week after week, part of me still feels very broken. I know that I will keep going forward, my house mates have told me I am one of the strongest people they know. I just hope that one day the stars will align and everything will be right.... sounds pretty cheesy and fairy-tale like, but I have always had princess ideals and dreams, so it makes sense to me. I made cookies today. Sweets always help when you feel down, except a tub of Ben and Jerry's is not something else I can rely on any more. So classic (gluten free dairy free) chocolate chip cookies had to do- I didn't put enough flour in them so they flattened out a lot. I'll post a recipe for it another time, with correct flour amounts.

To find the silver lining yet another black rain cloud, this could be a good time to focus on me. Summer is coming, I will not have to focus on six courses and extra curriculars, I won't have many obligations, it'll be warm, I will start re-introducing foods again. I plan on doing yoga every day this summer as I am doing the Energy Exchange with Moksha Yoga in my neighbourhood. Maybe I will make a list of summer goals to increase my well-being, so I can reduce my stress and find some freedom in myself again.

I like that idea.

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Baking #4: Cookie in a Mug

Since one of my best friends and follower of my journey Alex said she made my brownie in a mug twice, I thought I'd put up another quick recipe for her to try. Cookie in a Mug- Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Egg Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Whatever Free

1.5-2 tbsp coconut oil, liquefied

1/2 tbsp white sugar

1 tbsp brown sugar

A few drops of vanilla

1/4 cup of gluten free flour (might not need this much though)

1/8 tsp baking powder

Dairy free Chocolate Chunks/Chips 1) Melt coconut oil in microwave for about 30 seconds in mug of choice.

2) Stir in sugars and vanilla with a spoon.

3) Slowly stir in gluten free flour until the dough becomes cookie like (ie. not liquid but also not completely dry and adhering to the spoon). You might not need all the flour to achieve this.

4)Stir in baking powder and the chocolate evenly.

5) Put 'er in the microwave again for 30-40 seconds on high (check to see if it the cookie firmness you want, a really soft and gooey cookie will be ready at 30 seconds and a more shortbread like cookie will be good at 40 seconds).

6) Let it cool a bit unless you like to not taste your cookies, and then eat. Enjoy!

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One Door Closes, Another Door Opens

So today I got two pieces of disappointing news that have completely changed my summer plans. I am studying for my MCAT this summer for sure, and that is my priority. I will be taking a course starting April 30th until the end of June, as well as self study and possibly with a tutor, as my physics and organic chemistry are very weak. I am also for sure volunteering as a research assistant at the Toronto General Hospital Inpatient Eating Disorders Program, which is an unreal and exciting opportunity for me and I cannot wait to do it. Originally I was supposed to continue working at the restaurant I worked at last summer, but I found out today that because my lack of availability due to MCAT and their need of full time servers, they are not going to hire me back, even though in February they promised me that I would be able to come back and work again. This really caught me off guard because I thought I would have guaranteed income this summer, but that is no longer the case. My summer job was my way of saving up for my travel plans in future years. I have a bank account specifically for travelling, and now I will need to use that money to just do things in Toronto and Hamilton over the next year. Disappointed that I have to crack into my savings, I am. But I still managed to find the silver lining to this let down. For one, this is one less thing to stress me out this summer, so I can focus on my MCAT and ensure that I put in every effort to succeed. Second, I can now put in more time at the Eating Disorders lab, which will be a great educational and networking experience for me, and I would much rather spend all my time there then working. Third, I can volunteer for the Energy Exchange at Moksha Yoga (that is, if a space for me is still available) so I can practice yoga for a unlimited amount and I can also give back to my local studio. With regards to finances, I may have to forget my travel dreams for a bit. But who knows- maybe I can use my baking this summer and make a few bucks.... 

I also did not make the cut to be a Welcome Week representative for my faculty. I was surprised at this because I am probably one of the most enthusiastic people around, but I am not too sad about it because now other students have the opportunity of welcoming first years to our lovely faculty. I have done it once and though it would have been unbelievable to do it again, I can happily say that I know that the coordinators picked the best wolf pack possible and I know that the first years will be welcomed with spirit. In addition to this, I can now stick around in Toronto or travel (if money permits) until the end of August rather than returning to McMaster two weeks early. So, two disappointing changes to my summer, but five or more doors of opportunity opened. So was this really bad after all?

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Breakfast Baking #3: G'Morning Sunshine Muffins

This is my first time making gluten free/dairy free/free muffins. I always have wanted muffins for breakfast, and every time I walk by Williams in the Health Sciences Centre or Starbucks in the Student Centre I always am envious of the people who can just buy a delicious muffin! At Kelly's I tried their gluten/dairy free muffins and they were pretty good! Something about the texture was not as cakey as I wanted it to be, it was a bit too soft.  But nevertheless, it got me thinking that if they can make free muffins I can make them too!

This is the muffin breakfast version of the Body Peace cookies, with some variation so they are more cakey and less cookie-like. This post will be the first time I have tried them- let me know your thoughts!

P.S. The G' on the Morning was put there because it makes me think of how my boyfriend says good morning to me sometimes!

G'Morning Glory Muffins- Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Oat Free

Ingredients:

1 1/8 cups gluten-free all purpose flour mix

1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum

1 tablespoon cinnamon

1 teaspoons baking soda

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

1 cups grated carrots (about 2 large carrots)

Half large peeled and shredded apple

1/4 cup raisins

1/4 cup cranberries

1/4 cup pumpkin seeds

1/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut

1/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans

1 large egg

2 tablespoons flax meal+ 7 teaspoons water

1/2 cup coconut or light olive oil 

1/2 cup sugar or 1/2 cup maple syrup/agave

1 teaspoon vanilla

Preparation:

Preheat oven to 350° F / 176° C  Grease standard muffin pan or line with paper muffin cup liners (I used the fancy lotus flower ones!).

In a large mixing bowl combine sugar, gluten-free flour blend, guar gum OR xanthan gum, cinnamon, baking soda, baking powder and salt. Use a large whisk to thoroughly combine.

In a separate large bowl combine shredded carrots, apples, raisins, cranberries, coconut, seeds and nuts. Stir to thoroughly mix.

Add the fruit, vegetable, nut mixture to the dry ingredients.

Wet flax and let it sit for 3-5 minutes to thicken up, and then stir in  followed by egg, oil and vanilla. 

Finally, add the dry mix to the wet mix a portion at a time. Beat the mixture to thoroughly combine ingredients.

Fill muffin cups about 3/4 full (if using lotus muffin cups fill them to the rim before it becomes flower like (see the picture). Be generous!). Bake in preheated oven for about 25-30 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.

Yield: About 1 dozen standard size muffins (I managed to make 8 large ones). I am going to freeze half so I can eat them in later weeks!

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Baking #2: Body Peace Cookies

It's Sunday so that means it's time to bake for the week ahead!

This recipe was inspired by my first visit to Kelly's Bake Shoppe in Burlington, on reccommendation from my friend and VP of the McMaster Alliance for Body Peace Evelyn.

I have made it habit that whenever I go back to Toronto for the weekend to see my family I stop in here for treats. 

My "if all else fails plan" and possibly a future endeavour if I have time is to open my own allergen-free bakery. If I had a bakery, it would be like Kelly's.

This place is the CUTEST and most GIRLY bakery in the world. They also live free here as they are 100% gluten free and vegan! 

The display of many flavoured cupcakes, chocolatey brownies, big soft cookies, muffins, banana bread and cookie sandwiches makes you drool as soon as you walk in. Staff are extremely helpful and friendly when you are ordering your decadent treats, and pack all your goodies into a pink box (LOVE IT!). They also serve fancy coffees and teas, and make DEEP DISH CAKES (like McCain's deep n delicious but a lot better!).

They also do custom cake orders (someone please get me a Kelly's cake for my birthday) and even wedding cakes! So maybe one day, unless I make my own wedding cake, I can get made to order from here and I know that everyone will be able to eat it.

This place inspires me to continue pushing the baking boundaries to make delicious gluten and dairy free foods. Their desserts show me that it is possible to bake delicious desserts while being mindful of allergies. I get really excited when going in here because I can eat what I want and will know my guts won't hate me later. 

Check out their website: http://kellysxo.com/ if you get the chance.

Anyways, on my first visit (with my friend Kaitlyn, who is going to be McMaster Alliance for Body Peace's Co-President next year with me) to Kelly's pink little shoppe, I bought a little bit of everything, and after trying my samples I LOVED their World Peace Cookie. It did not taste gluten or dairy free, and the mix of soft, crunch, fruit and chocolate was an explosion in your mouth. After finding a version of the original recipe online, I decided to make my own version of it and re-name it the Body Peace cookie, because it does so much good for your body that it really isn't junk food.

The ingredients that go into this cookie is what makes it unique, and I hope that you can gather up all the ingredients and motivation to try this recipe out, because it is worth it.

  Body Peace Cookies- Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Nut Free, Soy Free, Egg Free, Oat Free, Vegan (original recipe by Kelly Childs)

  1 1/4 cups of gluten free flour mixes (I recommend Namaste and Bob's Red Mill Brands)

1 cup quinoa flakes (tons of protein and fiber!)

1 tsp cinnamon (blood purifier, anti-microbial (bacteria remover in body), and controls blood sugar)

1/2 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp baking powder

¼ tsp xanthan gum

½  tsp sea salt

1 ½  cup organic pumpkin seeds  (for your man’s prostate!)

¼ up organic sunflower seeds  (excellent source of Vitamin E!)

¼  cup organic cranberries (get the ones sweetened with apple juice, not sugar)

¼ cup organic raisins (alkalizes your body and great source of iron)

¼ cup chocolate chips (dairy free and gluten free – by “Enjoy Life”)

3 Tbsp ground golden flax meal + 10 Tbsp filtered water and let it sit. (good for Fibre, abundance of Omega 3)

¾ cup coconut oil, liquefied

¼  cup of brown sugar

½  cup light raw agave or maple syrup

⅓ cup applesauce (optional, I've never used it because I never have any)

    Mix all dry ingredients together in a medium size bowl (flours, oats, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, sea salt) and then add the seeds and cranberries, raisins and chocolate chips and toss untill fully covered in flour mixture.

Mix the flax meal with the water in a small bowl and let sit for 5 minutes until thick and egg-like. You’ll be amazed how it thickens up. While thickening, melt coconut oil if it is not in a liquid form.

Combine the coconut oil with the flax meal mixture. Whip with hand mixer for a minute until well combined and thick. Now add the sugar, agave and applesauce. Mix again until well combined.

Now add the flour mixture to the oil and sugar mixture. Fold with a wooden spoon until well combined.

Place on greased cookie sheet or better yet, parchment paper lined tray and bake for 12 minutes at 375F (this is key if you are using old baking sheets like I am because things tend to stick!). You want the edges browned yet not overbaked. I made 1- 1/2 to 2 dozen cookies that were about 2 1/2″ in diameter when finished.

These bad boys freeze amazingly, so you can make plenty and save them for later!

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Disclaimer: Ingredients

Ingredients for being gluten and dairy free are EXPENSIVE! Good ones are also hard to find and require you to go to your local health food store (As a Hamiltonian, I LOVE GOODNESS ME!). For people like me, going to the health food store is like going to a candy store because they have food you can eat! I actually start skipping and dancing around the store. Goodness Me and Whole Foods are heaven on earth!

But for some, its a hassle.

Know that all of my recipes were originally full of butter and wheaty flour and other things I am free of. I usually convert on a 1-1 ratio, so if you like my recipes but only have butter, you can still make what I make. Same with having wheaty flour, you just won't put in xanthan gum because you have gluten to hold things together.

If you have any questions about conversion using other ingredients, please ask! I can help you make the conversion so your food turns out delicious! In a later post I will post a grocery list for ingredients so you can make everything I make. I might just also post my weekly grocery list. Since I spend 3/4 of my time at the grocery store in the produce section, you might find that my grocery list might help you become more health-conscious!