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ya know something i love about tumblr is that i wrote and posted a ton of stuff YEARS ago that i have long since forgotten, but i get notifications of it all the time. like they're still getting love and likes and comments and it's just super precious to me. in a world dominated by algorithms, im glad my old cringe ass pokemon x reader shit still gets love lmao

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so uh, update on my life:

i moved cross country, have been worn out with the world, and got very obsessed with love and deepspace. which is bad for my wallet, bc i love them all.

please help me

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drowsy 🪼

— (rafayel)

.

my baby my babyyyy or however it goes

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And suddenly she never had to face it alone again

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whoa hey look im alive and on tumblr again hi guys how is everyone

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currently writing my xiaolumi longfic, and wanted to invite everyone to come chill n chat!

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A shy little dragon asked: I heard this is going to be the last chapter. Getting extremelly happy and sad at the same time... it has been amazing reading such memorable story, thank you so much for sharing it with us! Do you have any other plans or fics ideas you want to get into? Hope everything goes well with your book as well!

it is! it is indeed the last chapter. it's definitely been a long ride with this one, and i can't be more thankful for my followers to be so kind and patient as they wait. i would never be here without you guys, so please, never underestimate your words and your worth. an author is nothing without readers, so thank YOU, for staying with this dorky story until the end <33 I have a couple ideas kinda floating around in my head, mostly spinning on a steampunk AU right now~ i know that if i do another xlmi longfic, i want it to be from xiao's perspective, i know that much lol i love you lumine, but i wanna dive into xiao's head for a bit and THANK YOU! i have some plans goin on for it, and i'm actually really excited for it this year. i feel like i'm in a better spot overall, story and personal life both. my only contender is me having a sudden bump in hours and responsibility at work. cause, yk, got promoted to assistant manager, all that jazz. can get pretty tired throughout the week, but i'm determined to write at least every day <333 [Smile or comment on the answer here](https://retrospring.net/@Kiki_Kai/a/111315286254770680)

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Gortash!!

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Surprise! 💁🏾‍♀️

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Hi! just wanted to tell that I've read your analysis of Astarion's approval/disapproval vs his background and it is amazing!

It ties a little bit into my post I've made about instant gratification. if the player starts an evil playthrough, all they see is that Astarion agrees with every horrible, evil, kill everyone on sight decision which then leads them to believe this is what he is and gets instantly rewarded by Astarion ready to pounce at them.

BUT if Tav pushes back on his tendencies and more so decides to talk their way out of conflict, he likes that. He's not given instant gratification by killing someone but instead shown there's a different way to deal with a problem at hand.

It all culminates into the ritual scene where yet again Tav tells him: you have a different option other than mass murder of 7000 innocents. you CAN be better, you already are.

being a good person around Astarion is more challenging and it's a but of a slow burn but it's so gratifying and rewarding at the end.

to each their own, but being evil is boring 🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeeesssssssss exactly!!! I think i mentioned it but there are actions that can net you huge amounts of disapproval/approval: the drow in moonrise towers can net you +5 per approved option in one conversation, with a max of… I think 15??? From one interaction!

But all of his disapproved “nice” actions are all… -1. It isn’t fair at all to say that Astarion disapproves of good actions and approves of evil. I definitely understand the approval system and why it’s the easiest option to implement in a video game medium. Game devs make games for everyone, not just folks who have been doing it for years. But I also think the players take it a bit too much at face value.

It’s much more accurate to view the approval/disapproval system as a narrative device rather than a “good choice/bad choice” game design. And nothing proves that point more than Astarion and the dryad In Act 3, IMO.

Astarion DISaproves if you answer honestly. If the approval/disapproval were just a right/wrong or good/evil system that wouldn’t make sense. It’s not a game design; it’s a narrative tool more than anything. Astarion as a character despises being vulnerable. He doesn’t want strangers to know his weaknesses. And your character saying all these things about him to a stranger? Of course he doesn’t like it!

It’s such a brilliant story telling device.

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I just really wanted to draw him in a suit okay???? leave me alone!!!!!!

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They tell their new allies that their name is Tav...

...which is a lie, of course. It's safer this way, another layer of distance between them and their fellow tadpole-infected merry band of misfits. Tav is an alias that's easy to slip into; it's the closest to the person they want to be. Someone kind, soft; a little innocent but a lot mischievous. It's a gentler version of the truth of them, if there even is such a thing anymore. Sometimes it feels like there's a different version of themselves every day. Other days, Tav wonders what the point of trying at all is.

Tav is kind, and good, with a past they don't share. They talk fast and insults slip from the tounge like the sweetest poison. They rally allies and switch easily into being whatever their allies need the most at that moment. It's an easy mask, closest to who they wish they were.

Sometimes, they slip, just a little. A snarl a bit too-sharp. Words a bit too cutting. Sometimes they wake with a gasp in the middle of the night that has nothing to do with Astarion and everything to do with half-remembered faced and hands that reach, touch, grab, push, hit, pull for them. They walk those night to where they can see the sunrise and remind themselves that they are Tav, now, and watching sunrises is the sort of bardic romantic notion that they would do anyway. Enough time staring at the shifting colors stills their hands and the smile slips easily back onto their face when they return. Tav is easy to be.

Sometimes, they think their new friends might suspect. Words curl a little differently some days. Touches are either more free or more still. Sometimes, Gale creates shooting stars in the sky for their little band of misfits and it's enough to still Tav's hands. Others, Karlach or Wyll will draw them into a dance until all they can do is laugh and laugh. Astarion loves an audience and will pester until they get one; Tav is usually his victim in this but the poetry is always smooth and slow and watching Astarion play up the lines or mock poor prose is always a good distraction. La'zel will draw them into sparring, and Shadowheart will roll her eyes and drag Tav into brewing more potions.

Tav is their face. It's easy to step in front of them when outsiders get too close. It's simple enough to step or shift when eyes linger too long on a friend with intentions that feel less than innocent. They're Drow; it's not hard to draw ire from the surface dwellers when their hands begin to twitch towards their weapons.

Once, Astarion was caught with his hands in some nobel's purse. It was second-nature, easy as breathing to shift, sigh, make their many bangles chime against one another until the nobel was turning from Astarion's high-brow features and finer clothing towards the Drow in patchwork leather and cocky chip on their shoulder. Easy to step between Karlach and snarling brigands, Wyll and interested looking monster hunters, Gale and wizards with more magic than sense, La'zel and and those who'd name her traitor.

Tav is easy to be, a mask closest to who they might have been had the world been kinder. It's easy to care as Tav, so much so that as they watch the sun rise over Baldur's Gate, the end of their long journey in sight at last, they aren't even surprised to sense the presence of their friends joining them.

"You ready to go, Tav?"

They hum, summon a bit of magic to the tune. Just enough to wake their muscles a bit more, enough to still their hands. The red skies are fading into the blue of day. They glance back, at their... friends.

Maybe they didn't start this life as Tav, but maybe they could end it as them. How much difference is there between the person you want to be and the person you are? That had seemed so important, once.

"Yes. Let's go."

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Love how the other two verified methods are either drugs or being hit very hard with a chair. Like, was there a study? Does the impact of the chair change the results? Do the different types of chairs matter? Like if you're hit with a padded chair, do you get a better sleep than with a plain wooden chair? Does the padded chair have more density, thus it gives a harder hit? Or is it too heavy for the average patron, so it hits wrong and can give a rather unpleasant sleep? Who was the poor bloke who they tested this on? Is he asleep on a bed or 6 feet under?

Asking the important questions in Baldur's Gate.

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Astarion. light study.

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ah yes, Lyney 💐

I kinda love their dynamic with the Traveler, I love that there are some difficulties and tension between them, it's really intriguing

I also totally can understand both sides, I just hope that eventually Lyney will end up being our close friend, fully trusted and loved

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🌺 Break of Dawn 🌺

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I think xiao needs to go diving with us in Fontaine