les-bi-anity - Tumblr blog

[les-bi-anity]

i'm ready to become a febfem at this point iml but im scared to because if i want to have a relationship with a woman who happens to be lesbian, i'm afraid if i tell her i'm bi she will immediately assume all the stereotypes of bi people (particularly bi women). i know that a true loving and trusting relationship wouldn't be like that but it still is a fear of mine

i won’t say that the fear is unfounded. there are biphobic lesbians out there. there are lesbians that will not want to date you because you are bisexual, because of biphobia or for personal reasons like preferring other lesbians. but there’s nothing you can do about that. if you want to date women, lesbians as well as other bisexual women will be in your dating pool. there are more bi women than lesbians out there, so maybe you’ll prefer to date bi women. 

BUT i will say your fears of biphobic lesbians have probably been overinflated at least a little by the internet. plenty of bi women and lesbians are in happy and accepting relationships with each other.

[les-bi-anity]

I've been tryng to convince myself that I'm into men for months. bc of how isolated I feel as a lesbian. i would rather die than be in a romantic or sxual situation with a man. however I don't know how to tell the difference between myself and a febfem. I'm capable of finding features of males to be pleasing but I nvr wnt to see them naked or touch them. is their exprience typically different than this? how do I check that I'm actually lesbian is what I'm asking, what am I looking for in myself?

i really think you already know the answer for yourself. You're a lesbian. i know it's hard to be lonely, but living a life of denial will never be your best life. accepting that you love women and only women is the first step. but you don't have to be lonely forever. reaching out and making online community is a great first step. Make a few lesbian friends on tumblr and it'll probably lead to more! I also don't know much about your situation, but if moving is an option, consider it.

[les-bi-anity]

Wow I just found out female exclusive bisexuals exist because of you're blog and that's great

aww, that’s awesome, anon!

[les-bi-anity]

Samira and Lauren on their wedding day.

[les-bi-anity]

Any advice for febfems struggling with their attraction to men? Unlike many other wlw, I have no problem at all being attracted to women. Actually I just feel really grateful because I don't have to deal with men if I choose not to. I hope this doesn't come off as biphobic because I'm not, but I hate being attracted to men because tbh I just really despise them. I know I don't have to ever date them but I still wish I just weren't attracted to them at all in the first place

Dude if that’s biphobic then I am ALSO biphobic 😉

But seriously, I feel that way, too. A lot of times my attraction to men just feels so gross because men are gross. I have one guy in my life that’s cool and makes me feel ok being attracted to dudes, but for the most part I don’t want anything to do with men. It feels like a nagging distraction to what I really want in life.

But its something that can’t be changed. It’s not really healthy to ignore it, and it feels fake to pretend to love it, embrace it, celebrate it, etc.

The best thing I’ve figured out to do is to just accept it as part of who you are. You don’t have to LOVE something to accept it as part of you. It’s ok to say “I really hate being attracted to dudes, but it’s something I can’t change, and that’s ok.” I know a lot of times on here people focus on loving everything about yourself, but honestly if you spend your time forcing yourself to love something you hate you’re going to waste your life focusing on that thing.

When it comes down to it, accept your attraction to dudes and feel free to hate it. Move on from that and focus on the awesome life you’ll have with women 😊

I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s what I’ve got right now. I’m working through these feelings, too! We’ll figure it out, I’m sure of it 💜

- Até

[les-bi-anity]

Hi, I'm not sure if this happens to other bi women and girls too, but I'm much, much more attracted to fictional male characters than actual men (for those, I feel only a fleeting obsession that eventually dies over time), and I tend to fall for real women AND fictional ones in equal portions. This is what had me confused when I was younger, struggling to decide whether I was straigtht, lesbian or bisexual. P.S. By the way, I love your blog!

yeah, i’ve def heard of this before from bi women. if you’re more interested in women than men, remember you don’t have to pursue men. c:

[les-bi-anity]

tbh house md had its faults and really shitty characterizations but im just so, so happy that for once in one show a bisexual woman actually ended up with a woman

i love house md lmao. ofc it had its shitty moments but i was also In Love w thirteen so..

[les-bi-anity]

I heard a rumor that butches have access to the world of men by virtue of their polished boots and perfect Winsor knots Some tragedy tells me that they are the pretend women; the women born wrong; the women-not-women who inhabit a spectral plane where they wear shackles identical to mine but cannot name the cage they’re in I heard a lie that butches are men in a bad plastic mask That their privileges include public hisses, leering eyes, and strangers plodding close behind I heard that butches sink venom into femme women into straight women into whoever passes by their street corner at which of course they are leaning against a brick wall with their thumbs hooked into their Dungarees (But this is not about my fantasies) I was told some tedium when I was a baby gay salivating over Stephanie with the chain wallet and the sneer who spoke against the cruelty of boys in my class when I was sold the snake oil that butches were hiding in the shadows with lighters waiting to burn my bra But here is what I have learned: Butches swing bats against true predators scaled monstrosities preying up and down the block They have dug their heels in for my right to call myself a lesbian to free me from every constricting dress and shapewear that men would otherwise cram me into I was always good enough, small enough, big enough, loud and quiet and sour enough A butch woman taught my public school sex education class and gritted her teeth when her students asked about barrier methods hands tied by the confines of simply needing to pay her rent so no she could not dismantle the system But, she said, “If anyone–anyone–Has any questions, my office is open” Butches ask me if I’m doing okay when I’m in a new space They ask me to dance if I feel safe if I need to get a cab home Butch women have been the ones to catch my terrified stare when I have Shrodinger’s rapist standing next to me on the subway because you don’t know until you know Butches love flowers, split the bill whisper sweetly to their cats secretly sleep with teddy bears Butches snore like sleeping dragons and bite like them, too but only when their homes have been invaded caved in, gutted and carved beyond recognition Butch is not a liminal space a go-between Butch is a force to be reckoned with, but if you let it, then the rain will come and everything good will grow from the ground The rain will come The dyke rages on.

Dan Yell, @anarchism-lesbianism (via butchfemmeculture)

[les-bi-anity]

Black love is beautiful love 💛✨

[les-bi-anity]

Does female exclusive bi mean you are attracted to both but choose to only date females for many reasons including but not limited to "men are bad"? If so I am just finding out that there are others like me and thank u for your blog

yes, you got it! and there are many more women like you than you’d think. :D

check out @febfems for a blog focused on female-exclusive bisexual women!

[les-bi-anity]

Hey I run @febfems and I was hoping you could post this so more FEBs could find it 😊 (Also if any of your followers are in Utah they should hmu, I'm starting a meetup group for FEBs and lesbians)

[les-bi-anity]

just in case you were tired of the typical picture of white lesbians kissing on your dash, here’s a quality pic of my girl and I for some representation ✨

[les-bi-anity]

[les-bi-anity]

I made a Tumblr about how I'm trying to figure my bisexuality out so if there are some followers who are run the same ship as me, they are welcome :) ---> galaxywlw

sure! to my bi followers.

[les-bi-anity]

You are my best friend, my heart, my home, and I will tell you I love you until my breath runs out.

[les-bi-anity]

Photographs from Cats (and their Dykes), eds. Irene Reti and Shoney Sien. 1. Beth Karbe, “Sister and Judy” 2. Tam Garson, “Tara and Phineas” 3. Cathy Cade 4. Beth Karbe, “New York City Cat and Susan” 5. Cathy Cade, “Jeri: Shalea and Omar, my New York and California babies, the constants in my life” 6. Cathy Cade, “Ours” 7. Caroline Overman, “Tee Corinne” 8. Beth Karbe, “Self-Portrait with Louise” 9. Susan Logan, “Marie and Tiffany”

[les-bi-anity]

this is the first net im doing on this blog and im so excited to start it because I really want to create a tight knit community of girls who so often feel alienated.

Rules:

1. Must be following this blog and my main blog

2. Must be between 13 and 19 (this is a net for teenage lesbians)

3. Must be a lesbian and butch (you cannot be bisexual, ace or straight and butch, it is a lesbian identity)

4. Must be willing to follow the other members and chat with other people and be part of a community

5. Must reblog this post

What To Look Forward To:

1. Being part of a community of girls like you

2. More followers and notes

How To Enter:

1. Follow this blog and my main blog if you arent already

2. Fill out this typeform

3. Reblog this post

I’ll end up choosing about 10-30 people based on how many applications I get

Thank you so much, I’m so excited to get this net started!!