lidoublesy

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let's talk...

okay. so remember that EP I said I was working on? it's still there... but i haven't worked on it for quite a while now.

today is june 15! it's been a month since Jay and I have returned home to Antigua from Barbados... and let me just say it has been a crazy month. i so desperately wanted to escape the hell of university, but it feels like i went from one set of problems to another. that's to be expected though, it's life. but the problems at home will always hit harder. it's family. it's childhood trauma. it's a lot of the things that created every other problem in my life. i've been trying to face and tackle these issues so i could get back to my music.. because i so badly want to.

i showed some of the songs to my friends who, instead of suspending their preference beliefs to be a part of my creative flow and energy, decided to quickly give me critiques. i forgot how vulnerable it can be to share your own work, especially if you're breaking out of your insecurities and shyness to share it and be proud of it. tis the life of an artist. that was only one of the things that lowered my motivation.

anyway not to be dramatic or anything but life has been hitting so hard and my "fake it till you make it"-"stay positive" mentality isn't as strong as it was before. i feel like i've lost my sense of self, my confidence, and on some days my will to continue living.

i haven't been musically motivated for a while due to symptoms of depression and anxiety, and it feels like i've been stuck DEEP in a negative headspace way more than usual. i don't want to take too long, but i'm taking some time to really heal things that haunt me every single day - so i can shamelessly put my real and authentic energy out there as an artist. the REAL me.

lissy xoxo

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gifs from NOPOINT (Remix) MV 📸

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Sooooo last year April 14th, I wrote a song about Kizaru after FINALLY properly catching up to the One Piece manga (Egghead).

Now, in April 2025, the anime has come around and I figured it's the perfect time to re-record and release it :))

I've always thought that Kizaru was just one of the sickest characters of all time in One Piece. I loved his quick and immense power, his unfazed yet cocky attitude, and just how cold his attacks have been. I mean he's literally LIGHT.

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🎧

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ep lineup...

jamjam

intermission

saliva

lemon jockey

fabric

security

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time is runningggg ouuttt?!

am I actually going to be able to do this EP in time? ideally that means I would've uploaded it today.... meanwhile I'm only like 60% done. some songs still need to be re-recorded with adlibs added, other songs still need lyrics. i definitely do not want my very first ep to feel rushed due to me doing it alongside 1000 university assignments (although that would be symbolic in itself). i want to put more though into my lyrics, as they (along with the beat) help to build LISSY's world. bc that's all I'm really trying to do... open up my inner world to all of you through my music, and I need the right words to do that. the perfect words.

going grocery shopping today, need to pick up more meats - chicken, minced beef, sausages... eggs etc. we need more pasta and definitely more ramen. more cheese? more everything. i've been eating a lot more since Jay is here with me... otherwise i'd be skipping lunch and eating bread for dinner like i used to. i've actually been gaining weight bit by bit, which i am happy about :)) i'm still trying to be more organized pertaining to my work / life balance. i'm going to attempt to rebuild my calendar and really plan out every single week going forward... i can't afford to keep going with the flow like this if I really want to achieve my goals.

mom wants me to go on a cruise with her for her 50th birthday (the whole extended fam is going) but honestly...... i don't want to go. of course i'd want to be there for the 50th, we're going to a crazy new location as well. it's not like my mom and i are super close. there are days where i hate her and days where i tolerate her. but me not going on this cruise more of a step for me rather than defiance... i need to focus on making more music with Jay. making more content. being more involved in the fostering of creativity in my community. all the money i have is going towards that. and i don't think that trip is in my budget or my timeline currently (she said she'd pay for me but still)... idk i feel bad about it but then i remember the other years of my life where i didn't get what i want :]

we'll see how everything plays out, ciao!! xoxo

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Currently building my website, go check out my work in progress!! 😭 I have a crazy vision for the finished version of this site but I believe I'm still deep in my beginner/experimental phase. I'll get there!!

Feel free to add my lil user bar / stamp / button web things~ would be cool if you could link them back to my homepage/blog too!! <3

~ LISSY xoxo

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balancing work and art

[this was taken from my spacehey blog, felt like it should be here too since i mention my upcoming ep ;)))]

how will i ever find enough time in my day to handle all of the endeavors i've graciously and meticulously planned for myself? 

it's monday march 24 2025 and im basically a month away from my biggest final year project... let me expose that YES I AM A THEATRE KID and i am proud. im staging a play yall. written and directed by me. i have a cast of 8 and it's a drama that addresses generational trauma within Caribbean families. this is a class i've failed like 2 or 3 times ;'c (it's a year long class and i've either flunked out in the semester or didn't attend the second semester (family loss)). i've just had enough of this fucking class. but guess what??!! once i pull this off, i'll be graduating! BFA!!

my cast has been great. rehearsals have been great. my next concerns are dress and tech rehearsals, and also i need an actual bread shop building structure thing for my set. where the fuck will i get that???? idk. but i am staying calm. breathe, 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10...

i told my cfs that im dropping an EP april 11... which means i need to finish recording, editing and uploading it by this weekend WTFFFFFF. i have a presentation due this weekend, 2 upcoming essays / research papers.... im losing track of it all (im not ive written it down in my calendar, but still) and i am desperately wishing to be DONE from this hell we call university. it's gonna be 6 songs, and they're all already pretty fire >v< all produced by my bf and i just can't wait for our music to find its audience <333

anyway, i've been doing a lot of introspective thinking (ruminating) about my past, things i wish i never did, things i wish i did differently... feeling like ive run out of time. it has taken a lot of mental shifting to be able to regain my WHIMSY AND CONFIDENCE!!!!! i shall be using the rest of my life to focus on mainly music, webmastery, and just creating in all overall aspects (i do a lot of things but you can msg me and find out more!!).

anyway im just writing this here so i can see what a blog entry looks like as i edit my page layout, cya!! xoxo

YOU'RE IN LISSY'S WRLD

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what is this feeling?!

lately (well really all my life but I thought I was getting better recently)...

I've been feeling really really anxious and I don't know why. I keep ruminating over my past, future and present. Things that happened to me that I wish didn't happ

But honestly... that's just life. Everyone experiences these shitty things, and I just need to get over it and move on. That's what I keep telling myself. I can only hope that I'm actually working through these issues and not just pushing them away. It's just that I WANT TO FEEL BETTER TODAY! I want to feel good TODAY!

Sadness, grief, and anxiety have become such comfortable feelings for me, and if I truly care about my future... I need to step back into my confidence. I need to shake all of those inhibitions that keep trying to creep back into my character. That's NOT who the fuck I am. LISSY?! Tf???

Every time I get high as fuck and I really sit down and think about this shit, I keep feeling so empowered bc the world is literally in my hands. It's just the actions I'm NOT taking that are keeping me stagnant. What the fuck am I scared of??

I'm still trying to release myself. Release my ego. Release the need to care for what others think of me. I need to just be myself 100%

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my new song DIARY is out now!!

well.. out everywhere except Apple Music bc Apple is loafing rn!!!

But anyway, cheers to new music 🥂🥳 I have a lot more fire on the way, so much that it's impossible for me to fail. I really just need to stay really focused, and lock in on graduating, making money, and making music. BOOM, that's it.

I was just looking at my Spotify stats, we're currently at around 235 streams last time I checked, with 23 savesss <33 Checking my audience locations has also been crazy, bc I'm seeing numbers like 50 listeners in the United States, and 37 in South Africa... but those numbers will be in the millions very soon BET ON THAT!!

If you haven't heard my song by now (really what are you doing) you can help run up my Soundcloud streams here ;))

lataaaa~ xoxo

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💿 MY NEW SONG DIARY DROPS THIS FRIDAY MARCH 7!! 🚨 here's a snippet~

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NEW MUSICC!!!! Here's my cover art :))

My new song is called DIARY, and it's about my experience as a young girl growing up with no one to turn to besides my own diaries. It was a place for me to fully express myself without the repercussions and attacks from friends and family. It was a way for me to navigate my own feelings and headspace. It was my safe haven, and it was all I had. 🫂

This song represents the growth I've achieved, where I finally understand my emotions and how to handle them. I've grown into unrelenting self confidence, and I know that only I can secure the future that I want for myself REGARDLESS OF ANYONE ELSES FUCK ASS OPINIONS!!! 🖕🏼

Anyway, it's dropping MARCH 7!!! You can pre-save on Spotify by clicking HERE.

Lataaaa~

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NEW MUSIC - DIARY

Friday Feb 23 2025

I have a review essay due today for a class I literally joined last week... and I've barely gotten as close as where I'd like to be for submission. On the other hand, Jay is currently working on the mix for my new song Diaryyyyy!!!

I'm starting to get a bit anxious about releasing it, but he's aiming for a release this upcoming week. The song is about... how I've written all my high and low moments in my diaries. I think I've had like 6-10 diaries in my lifetime thus far, which honestly doesn't even seem like a lot in hindsight. However, that's not including my 100000 diary entires digitally. Notion, my notes app, anything that I can type my feelings into...

I've used diaries for a long time, as growing up I always felt like I never had a listening ear. I never had an outlet for my emotions.. how I felt. I was shut down by family, my friends, lovers - it's just been a crazy rollercoaster that I had to ride all on my own. Somehow, writing it out helped. My mind is like a huge cloudy fog with lethal bullets flying in all directions. It's so hard to really grasp what I want, who I am and how I feel until I write it down.

I'll probably write another song that touches on this deeper, but for now it's all about a high energy shift. I like to think that I'm leaving the sad, worn down version of me on those pages... and yes while I still write in my diaries, my perspective on myself and life in general has changed. I write in my diary not to escape from my reality into a comfortable sadness, but to really manifest a better future for myself and work through my issues the right way.

it's all about the angle and intention.

anyway, let me go finish this essay. if i want to graduate this year... I need to pass. lata!

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2025 - we're bigger and better!! 💙🤞🏼

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NOPOINT's remix is dropping soon!!

ahhhhhhhhh!!! So... it's been a while, huh?

Today is November 16th. 6 days away from the release of NOPOINT's remix!! Here's a little backstory:

NOPOINT was originally recorded at our old "studio" apartment that was owned by someone we refer to as Mr.Fraud (yes he's terrible but that's a story for another time CL*Y).

I wrote it to symbolize having faith in yourself and your abilities whilst on the confusing journey towards your goals. How do we know the right steps to take? How do we know if we're making the right decisions? We don't know.. until we take the step.

So, if we're all just winging the fuck out of life - why not move with confidence in yourself? No one else will do it for you. No point in racing her, let em go two to three... it's just you in your lane, and your focus is only ahead. Let everyone else's opinions and negativity fall behind you and take second and third place. YOU COME FIRST, ALWAYS!!!

Jay made this remix as a kind of surprise, and I loved it instantly. It gave the song an entirely different vibe while still keeping the meaning. It's more poppy, more lively, more energetic... taking life by force, bursting forward into a sprint and enjoying the wind in your hair (with lingering focus on anxiety of course).

Anyway, November 22nd. I hope all of my listeners in the future are enjoying it right now :)

And... here's what the cover looks like:

Currently I've been swamped with stress from all areas of life. Deaths in the family, problems with money, stress from school, all while still trying to navigate my identity and my relationships with others. It's not easy yet I'm still here, still trying, and never giving up. I mean shit, I'm recording the remix's music video tomorrow! I have my final week of dance classes every single morning next week, and a full script draft due this Thursday. I haven't even begun to study for my Law Gov class which I've failed before already.

It's a weird place to be in, because while I don't want to break my consistency streak with beats and music content... I can't afford to slip up with my grades now. It's my final year at Uni, and I've wasted enough time... it would be such a disappointment to my friends and family... and especially myself if I were to fumble now. I think the whole "I never wanted to be here" and "I'm only here bc my family wants me to be here" made me forget how free I could be if I just got it over with. There's no backing out. Just get the degree so everyone can finally leave you alone to continue chasing your dreams.

Anyway lemme stop ranting. I'm hoping my release this week goes well. I have a beat battle in my Discord server tonight. I have a beat pack to send to one of my favorite Dancehall artists.... it's a lot. But let's get it!!

PRESAVE/PREORDER NOPOINT (REMIX) HERE! 👈🏼

LISSY ~ xx

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life + music update

heyyyyy to everyone reading this!! I made this tumblr so that I could document my progress and process as an artist so that I (and the future enjoyers of my music that I don't have a fandom name for yet) could look back and be like wow... we came so far fr.

my first release NOPOINT has been out since May 10th. We're at around 3400 streams (although like 800 of those streams randomly showed up after I was added to a botted playlist smh) and around 400 listeners (180 of which are bots from Finland, Helsinki).

I'm saving up to get a new mic so I can get a new release out ASAP. More music would have already been dropped if the guy that had the studio arrangement with my bf/producer wasn't a complete fraud and asshole. And also a white guy that says nigga and God knows what else. But that's a story for another day!!

I have been feeling stressed out, because I'm slowly getting back into making content but it feels like I'm starting all over again. All the momentum I had before has died down and it feels impossible to gain reach on TikTok and especially Instagram. I'm not giving up though, I feel like I can get back on track with consistency, but damn is it hard to keep recording, editing and posting for 200 views.

I've also been noticing those of my friends that actually support, and those that only support to fill the assumed quota. I've been pondering if I should try to make new friends online, but that might also prove to be difficult bc I have social anxiety!! (surprise surprise)

Anyway, I've been barely writing... definitely not as much as I should. I've been doing a lot of producing because I really want to grow my LISSYWAV page. Wish me luck! My song link is below vvvv

till next time~~ xx LISSY

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give it a listen and lmk what you think!! :)) 💙