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One time I brought one of my rocks with me on a plane to touch to calm me down during the flight, but it fell out of my pocket on my way back to the bathroom and then as soon as i realized this they actually announced “did anyone lose…… . A rock” over the loudspeaker system.

When I went up to claim it the plane man, clearly unable to throw off the shackles of his training in the procedure of asking for people’s full names and birthdates when they come to claim wallets, said “wait no, first tell me what color it is so I know it’s really yours”

He seemed to realize this was stupid directly after saying it and kind of smiled like to make it a joke but the joke was on him bc I Described the fucking rock to him for like 30 solid seconds

…anyway. that was an interaction I had once

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Life Update

Hello hi its been a while huh? Well I wanted to go over what has been happening since my sudden ghosting and to make it short so if your not that interested you can scroll past this. The TLDR; of everything is that I am 3 years almost 4 years on HRT and I am 1 year post top surgery. I am now also living by myself as I moved out of my parents place. I have a new friend group who are extra supportive and I am pretty much doing full time art as a furry artist. I am quite happy with my mental well-being and where I am in my life. I still have a long way to go but I am happy and healthy and living. now to go more in depth with things.

Pretty much when I first started this blog i was at the very start of my transition I was alone, I didn’t have many friends or at lest many good ones, I was suicidal and I was also in a pretty toxic house hold. my mental health was well and truly in the dumpster fire. I started therapy in late October 2017 and then I started testosterone on the 6 of April 2018. 2018 was probably the start of when I turned my life around and started to seriously think about my future. At first there wasn't a lot of changes but there was enough that I was content on staying on my journey. I started off on some  T Patches, they are by far not the fastest in terms of transitioning but seeing as at the time I was living in a non supportive family I figured that if I started off slow by the time anyone figured out I was transitioning it would already be too late which for the most part worked and it was great until it got to summer and then the foil patches started to burn my skin. then I changed onto 8 weekly injections which I have been on since. I also figured that if anything bad mentally were to happen that therapy would magically save my fall, Which was a stupid idea therapy doesn’t work like that. As most of you know during that time I was also in a serious relationship with a certain blogger, I’m gonna call them Topaz for now. Outwardly we were the ‘perfect couple’ everyone that knew us were happy and a few people idolized us and for the most part we were a great couple, we were brilliant together but we also faced a lot of challenges. For starters I lacked a lot of confidence and some social skills. I also had no friends at the time so I was dreadfully lonely. Mix in severe mental health issues, untreated PTSD and other health issues and you get someone who isn’t in a good state to be in a serious relationship. In 2019 I flew over to meet Topaz and I lived with them for a month, And I tried my hardest to be useful around the house because at the time I felt greatly unworthy to be there which caused some fights and issues. But despite those issues and slight cultural differences I enjoyed my time over in America with Topaz. During this time I purposed to Topaz and we got engaged to get married.  Again outwardly everything was going great we were great life was a fairy-tale. But like all fairy-tales nothing is as it truly seems

Towards the end of 2019 me and Topaz had kinda drifted we had a lot of issues that had built up over the year and during the start of 2020 we started to drift apart we stopped seeing each other less and less. We had different friend groups and spent more time with our friends then with each other. And for the most part this was probably my fault. You see I had problems with standing up for myself. I had pretty much gotten used to in the past being abused and used and that had resulted in massive issues for me socially. It meant that I had developed this mental picture that if I asked for anything I was being a selfish prick. If I asked to play a certain game together or watch something together that would mean that I was being selfish and I shouldn't be selfish. This has caused issues that meant that for pretty much our entire relationship I barely asked to do anything with Topaz and instead did everything Topaz wanted because that was the least selfish option. I also dare not ask for anything because I had a severe issue about upsetting Topaz, for fear of them leaving me. I had started using Topaz as my only reason to live which is the worse thing one can do, its a super toxic mindset which had done nothing but cause more and more issues. Another thing I should mention is that at the time the both of us had diagnosed ADHD this meant that the both of us would totally hyper-fixate on different things. Which is why we started to drift apart. Topaz also had a lot of mental health issues and struggles which I will not comment on its up to them to share and talk about not me. The both of us ended up hyper-fixating on different games and different friend groups. And for me the friend group I ended up in was a really really bad one. You see at the time this friend I made seemed really cool he was into similar things and we had a somewhat similar sense of humor. But he was also very racist very mentally unwell and also a bit of a manipulating jerk. He was also somewhat transphobic but seemed more transphobic of transwoman then transmen. I should also mention that this guy used suicide as a way to gain attention and get want he wanted. It was for the most part how he drew me in. This friend who I will call Rex pretty much started using me as a personal antidepressant and at the time because I was still dealing with a lot of shit didn't really realize how much of a horrible situation i had dug myself into. Rex would use harmful comments marked as ‘jokes’ in order to keep everyone's attention on him. So after having a rocky relationship that left me a little attention starved I jumped into a friendship that at the start gave me some attention but slowly turned into a horrible destructive friendship.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I had developed nerve issues and started having full body shakes, It was almost like i had a seizure but I was mentally aware. I had at times lost the ability and control over my body and that terrified me.

All threw-out this I was still in therapy I was also on anti-depressants and I was facing mood swings and horrible lows of mental health I would wildly swing between happy and stable to suicidal and depressed. There was some good days then there was horrible weeks. Around Mid 2020 me and Topaz had drifted so fair apart that we hadn’t talked in months. we had gone from voice chats and calls daily to a message once every other month. It was around this time that we decided it was best to split and give each other the mental room to grow before trying again later because despite everything we still deeply loved each other. And to this day I still do deeply love Topaz. After splitting up I pretty much solely relied on this new friend group for support as I still needed support as towards November I was getting my top surgery yes that’s right while the world was on fire from the plague I was getting ready to go into a hospital and have my chest removed. Rex was supportive and he and his friends were for the most part helpful in keeping me distracted from the toxic shit happening at home so once it came to the end of October I was told to move out. Yup I had to move house 1 week before my operation. Thankfully I had gained a friend in my country who was a mother to a trans guy. She took me in and helped me during my operation and helped me move into my new place. The operation was great for the most part I recovered pretty swiftly. However 1 side of my chest developed a seroma, which meant a trip to the er and it getting drained out. after that I was on a high. I had a flat chest and everything was looking great then a small part in the middle of my chest started to grow, the left over breast tissue decided to make a small tit in the middle of my chest. This caused me to grow extremely embarrassed and ashamed of my chest (which wasn’t a good thing). So start of 2021 I was 1) yet again mentally unstable as I had developed worse issues of not taking care of myself being overly selfless to someone who didn’t deserve it 2) extremely fearful of being alone and having no friends 3) embarrassed of my chest because the operation that was supposed to fix what I saw wrong had gone wrong. and lastly 4) having physical issues of mobility in my body. 2021 grew into a year of me dealing with issues in my friends having this fear of being on eggshells everyday waiting for my friends to snap and turn on me for not being ‘good enough’ dealing with a deep regret for not working more on my relationship with topaz and trying to mange a house by myself. It was like I was back at square 1 like any progress I had made in my life was washed over by a wave and I was left with nothing.

Most of that year was a blur of built up rage at my ‘friends’ for not paying attention for my needs, being afraid I would end up alone and having nothing to live for, having yet again more self confidence issues and mental struggles with my self image. And trying to repair my relationship with my family. around may 2021 I had met a person (lets call him Ten) on a dating discord server and we started talking we shared similar interests and I was eventually introduced to his friend group we started hanging out and playing games together and oh my god it was a slap to the face. It was like I woke up from a dream. I begun to realize how much of a horrible toxic friendship I had ended up in with in Rexs friend group, how un-supportive and how toxic the banter was in the group calls that I would spend my days and nights in. Ten had shown me was a good friendship looked like. And it was honestly what I needed in my life. after a while I cracked and just cut ties with Rex and some of his friends ones I knew were just as bad as he was. I kept a couple of friends from that group who eventually also left and every now and then we get together and play games and have fun. For the most part I permanently joined Tens friend group who are largely mostly trans Ten isn’t trans but we joke that hes a transperson magnet as he seems to find random trans people and take them under his wing. We are all super supportive and listen to each others issues and have lengthily talks about random things we have fun chill out and just enjoy each others company. Things with my mother grew better and now we talk and have a more stable relationship there are times where things get out of hand but I now have a stable place to just be myself and not mentally prepare for battle 24/7.

At the start of 2022 I was called and asked if I would like to get an operation done to remove the lump of tissue that had grown on my chest. and as I was sitting at a much much stabler state of mental health I jumped at the opportunity I wanted to start this year off with a more positive approach and I was booked in for a small operation on the 18th of Jan. Now I am well recovered from my operation I love and adore my chest I am trying my hardest to keep a positive approach to things and I have a great support group of friends who love and adore me as much as I do them.  there are still things i need to fix and learn there are things I need to grow into but I am on my way to being a much healthier and better person. There are some things i glazed over in this update and somethings I left out for personal reasons but for the most part here’s everything that happened. Look after yourseleve’s out there

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This review for a dog life jacket is sending me

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<h1>Last Health Update</h1>

Last Health Update

Hello everyone, it has been a little while since the last update I made and this time I have news. I finally have a diagnosis for the pain in my back, on Tuesday the 11th of February I went and saw a chronic pain specialist after two hours of talking to this doctor he informed me that the pain I feel in my back is a strain of fibromyalgia, this affects the entire right side of my body. For those who don't know Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Researchers believe that fibromyalgia amplifies painful sensations by affecting the way your brain processes pain signals. So in short the right side of my body, the nerves are sending off pain signals when I am not really in pain, I detect hot and cold far more strongly on my right side than on my left. Now I know most of you are gonna be asking 'Is there a cure is there any medication you can take to fix this' and the answer is no. there is no magic cure for this no pill that will fix this. The only hope I have for this pain to ease is daily exercise and physiotherapy. Another question you might be asking is 'how did this happen how did you get this?' well my therapist believes it been caused by my PTSD. Which is believable many studies are showing that PTSD and emotional trauma can manifest pain in one's body. So what does this mean going forth? well, it means that while my struggles with pain continue my progress on commissions might be slow it doesn't mean that I cant do them I have been heavily working on commissions in the background with those following on twitter seeing the small cheeb art I have been doing and the small streams of bigger images being done. What this also means is I have stopped doing Patreon, I will not be active enough to supply the things promised on Pateron enough for it to be worth doing going forward. So if you want to support me and my work I have a ko-fi. which you can find here I want to thank everyone and there patience with me for the endless support and for the understanding of the issues I have been going threw, it's going to be a major new year going forth with new understanding and hopefully better health. if you have any questions don't be afraid to ask them below!

Posted using PostyBirb

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<h1>Health Update</h1>

Health Update

_________________________________________ Follow Me Here _________________________________________ | DeviantART | Furaffinity | Furry Network | Furiffic | Ink Bunny | Instagram | Pizecl | Twitch | Twitter | SoFurry | Weasyl | Hey all I just wanted to post another health update and let you all know about my progress, Physiotherapy has been doing wonders on my back and for the most part, I am stable enough to work on illustrations again, as some of you know I have sent out sketches and done some small chibis. Which is amazing news I am happy and confident that my back issues will be a lot better within the next few months. My main issue now is full-body spasms. Yeah, I am spasming like I'm about to have a seizure. This has effectively stopped my entire world, and no doctor has been able to tell me why they are happening every test I have taken has come up clear, the only slight lead on what it could be is my antidepressants, which there is no known/listed side effect that even remotely comes close to my spasms. and we won't be able to tell if it even is my medication for another 2 months. So while my back is progressing well my other health has declined to the point I am no longer able to really be human, I have to be under consistent watch and care because at any moment I could collapse and spasm. This isn't how I wanted to start the new year but I can't control my life and I have accepted that this is now a part of me. So please be patient I am trying to get threw as much of my list as I can and I truly appreciate all of my commissioner's and respect yall are such an amazing bunch and I am blessed to have you all. I hope you all have had a fantastic new year and that you are all happy and healthy and I hope you all continue to be happy and healthy. - Zach aka Dragonboii78

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<h1>Health Update</h1>

Health Update

_________________________________________ Follow Me Here _________________________________________ | DeviantART | Furaffinity | Furry Network | Furiffic | Ink Bunny | Instagram | Pizecl | Twitch | Twitter | SoFurry | Weasyl | Hello everyone! its been a hot minute, I thought I would update everyone as to where my health has been since my last update. And well here is the TLDR Its not good its pretty pretty bad don't ignore issues for to long cause things will always catch up to you. Long explanation is this, for the past 4-ish weeks I have been dealing with chronic back pain, so severe that walking is nearly impossible and sitting for long periods of time is extremely painful. I have been doing some Physiotherapy on my back and spine and they can't diagnose me for anything 'normal' as every segment in my spine is sending off flares of pain and my entire back in terms of muscle is either hard and non flexing or contains knots as big as tennis balls, the first appointment I had I was told 'boy no wonder your in pain your back is like beef jerky' the legitimate words I was told which is fine I wasn't offended by it I always say laughter is the best medicine. So far there has been little progress towards actual relief in my pain and if this continues I will need a MRI scan on my spine. And with how I have been going over the last month I am starting to think I might need a cane to work and worst come to worst will be put into a wheelchair. Which absolutely sucks. My legs are fine I can walk without issues its just my back can't support itself and after a long period of standing it basically crumbles under itself. This has very. very heavily effected my mental health so improvement in that field is definitely not progressing. And this well effects everything it effects my job, my ability to study, my life, my artwork, its basically crumbled my entire life. So this Christmas isn't a very happy one nor will my birthday be for that matter. I'm not old nor am I young but chronic back pain was not something I was expecting to happen until I was at lest 30. I have always had back problems, its always been an issue, and to be fair I had tired to get some help with it I just never measured up to the medical standards of 'emergency' but I guess both that and ignoring it for so long its finally caught up and bitten me quite hard. I can't estimate when I can finish commissions I know that I certainly will not be able to take any more on, it will just be to stressful. To my wonderful commissioners thank you all for being so patient and understanding with me it really does mean a lot. If you would like to support me but can't become a Patreon here is a link to myKo-Fiany and all support does help and here is a link to myPatreon thank you again everyone for watching faving and commenting your support and encouragement is what keeps me going.

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<h1>Update</h1>

Update

I have been struggling a lot with mental health and physical health for the last 2-ish months, it has been pretty hard for me and for those closest to me. My spirals of depression lead to weeks of being unable to leave my bed and do anything but sleep. Since the passing of my cat my ability to function dropped and continued to drop, my cat was more than just a pet or a family member he was my support animal the only real support I had in my family/home. Without that support, I crippled under the weight of my depression, PTSD and anxiety. I won’t get too much into it but I am doing better-ish now I have medication and therapy and other support in my life I just need time to fully recover from this tumble. I am sorry for any inconveniences this has caused I’m sorry if I worried anyone and I hope you can understand.

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This is heartbreaking.

Meanwhile, your chances of becoming a citizen are 3 times more likely if you’re white and from Europe. It’s racism.

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my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

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Hey, @the-rain-on-your-dandelions, has anyone told you that you’re a genius? That’s an incredible system. I wish I had a friend group that could function for!

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reblog if you’re NOT tumblr famous, but you ARE tired and kinda gay

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My aesthetic: when you take off your glasses on a highway and all the lights go soft and smudged, a trail of amber behind you like a quiet afterthought

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“Don’t buy any Girl Scout cookies!!! They support pLANNED PARENTHOOD!!” me: 

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if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.