little-bean-rain

[little-bean-rain]

so a lot of changed, my weight is still 52kg. I went through breakup because my boyfriend cheated, got back to him, rented an apartment together, went to therapy, i got a tattoo, started working as sugar baby and online girlfriend, my puppy isnt that small anymore and i also found my sense of style i guess.

[little-bean-rain]

I’ve been so busy lately. I stopped tracking calories for a while and let myself loose again. It’s hard for me diet now. I binged yesterday and I thought I ate more than 1000kcal but turned out to be barely 600kcal lol. So it’s not that bad.

My little demon is growing so fast, she absorb so much time but it’s the most lovely creature I’ve ever met.

I was a maid of honor on my friends wedding and a woman that was doing our making and hair made me feel beautiful for the first time in a while. I got so many compliments that day and I had so much fun.

Right now It’s getting closer to the end of the year which mean I need to do few more projects and then I can stay at home.

For everyone that’s celebrating christmas - Merry Christmas! And for everyone that’s celebrating something different or not celebrating anything at all - I just hope the next weeks will be great for u.

Till the next one

[little-bean-rain]

It’s been few days since my last post but I’m stuck between taking care of my puppy, getting ready for my bsf wedding and writing all the papers for my uni.

So I’ve been either working or sleeping. Yet I’m tired everyday. I just want my christmas break to start so I can sleep more.

My medicine started less working and I’m upping my dose again, because my depressive episodes are coming back and I’ve been having more panic attacks.

Idk my weight, because I’ve been waking up so late that I don’t even have time to think about weighting myself.

Yesterday total calories are 546.

Not bad since I’ve been binging a lot lately.

[little-bean-rain]

I’ve managed to go back to 52,9kg so this week I’m focusing to go to 51kg. I didn’t count calories and I actually ate normally so I’m suprised that I lost weight. But because of that I can actually start fresh with good metabolism.

[little-bean-rain]

Soo I’ve been binging whole week. I gained like 3kg soo I’m trying to get back on track again. Today I ate already 457kcals and I’m hopefull to stay under 800kcals.

I also got a puppy, meet Aura!

[little-bean-rain]

So this week I got really absorbed with getting stuff for my new puppy. I will have a small break, till the monday.

[little-bean-rain]

So I let myself loose in the weekend because of the meet up with my friends that started to worry about my eating so I wanted to show them I’m fine. One of my friend is actually a psychologist specialized in eating disorders so I have to be sneaky😅

At friday I ate 619kcal

At Saturday I ate 615kcal

At Sunday I ate about 1500kcal

My weight for now is 52,2kg so I’m getting back on track with restricting. Everything is gonna be alright tho.

[little-bean-rain]

The day started great with my 100kcal breakfast but I went shopping with my friend and decided to eat salad.

But I forgot to tell them to give my dressing on the side 🥲 The whole dressing was more calories than salad.

So total calories of today is 619.

I don’t think I’m gonna get below 50kg this week.

I just wanna cry.

[little-bean-rain]

Another day, another barbie to watch. Today my fiance noticed I’m not eating much for breakfast so he forced me to eat mousse, but he didn’t notice that I puted it back in basket lol.

But for dinner I ate some toast with vegan ham and tomatoes, side of tumeric kimchi and half a pickle. I put a little bit of ketchup to make my toast more moist. I haven’t ate bread and ketchup in so long that I forgot how sweet it is. But I enjoyed it anyway.

Today total calories are 293. So I’m happy with myself!

[little-bean-rain]

If u r looking for ed discord feel free to message me for invite ☺️

[little-bean-rain]

In academic meaning I did very well today, but in food meaning - not so. I kinda binged on chips but at least they were homemade and oil free.

Today I ate some scrumbled tofu with tomatoes for breakfast.

Later I ate 4 vegetable dumplings, miso-kimchi soup for dinner.

And as snack I had some potato oil-free chips.

Total is 588kcal. But my weight in the morning was 51,7kg! Just 4 days to lose 2kg to get below 50kg. I can do it!

I just hope I don’t gain much because of today :(

[little-bean-rain]

Not much happened today, I fasted and I feel so tired. But at least I watched some barbie to cheer me up. My inner child is screaming.

Total of calories - 0

Weight showed 52,5kg 🥲 I just hope it’s water weight but that’s why I decided to fast today. Hopefully I will see less kg tomorrow when I weight

[little-bean-rain]

Today was difficult, I hoped to stay at 300kcal today but it didn’t work out. But at least I resist to join my fiance at ordering burgers.

For breakfast I ate cherry mouse and drank grain coffee without milk. For lunch I ate vegan meatloaf, mashed potatoes and mashed beetroot. For dinner I ate pineapple mouse. I also drank green tea and water (3l) and I’m so hungry and done with this day.

My weight loss started to slow down which really made my motivation smaller, but I’m not gonna give up and binge. I’m getting under that 50kg this week.

[little-bean-rain]

Aurora, my forever wl inspo

[little-bean-rain]

Today was good day, I enjoyed every bit of it. Started traicing my fasting today, my goal is to fast about 18 hours of the day.

The best thing about having fiance that doesn’t like to cook is the control of the food I’m doing so I know what’s in it and how many calories it have. I also control the portion 😋

Today I ate scrambled tofu with tomatoes for breakfast, along some grain coffee with 50ml of oat milk.

For dinner I had some beetroots, potatoes and vegan meatloaf. All plain, without butter, oil or milk added. I only gave added stuff to my fiance plate so he is not suffering such plain dinner. At least salt doesn’t have calories.

Total of the calories is 413.

That’s all for today, the weight in the morning was 52,7kg. I feel like I’m slowing down, any tips how to keep up my metabolism? I drink green tea, 3l of water (I count green tea in it) and move quite a bit.

[little-bean-rain]

Today was snowy day. I feel so calm lately. I’m being the girl I wanna be.

I ate some oatmeal with almond milk, grain coffee with almond milk, orange and apple-rasberry mouse for breakfast.

Later I ate borsch with 3 dumplings and I couldn’t feel more cozier. Especially when it was so low in calories.

That’s all for today, I’m ending this day with some warm water and total 487kcal.

[little-bean-rain]

I’m hoping to get below 50kg in the next week. I’m 52,9kg now so I think I may be able to!