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I love this game so much

this is the ritual to lead you on

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The most insane lines delivered within Remedy's history of games. (From Alan Wake 2's "Night Springs" DLC)

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I need someone to be the rhys to my joe fr

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how can you not ship them. they bicker like an old married couple

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Rhys Montrose: iconic one-liners

You 4.6 "Best of Friends" 4.7 "Good Man, Cruel World" 4.8 "Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?" 4.9 "She's Not There" 4.10 "The Death of Jonathan Moore"

+ Bonus: Joe's utter exasperation

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i went on a rant to star about this but GRRRARRGRHRRGRHRH IT WOULD BE NO DIFFERENT IF RHYS WAS REAL.

"they cant physically fuck" no but rhys can pilot joe through masturbating or whatever. I KNOW thats not the main reason. or it might be. i dont know i dont care

but. my point is it doesnt Matter that rhys is a factive and isnt physically there. they can fuck nasty no matter what. "oh but theres less fun when rhys isnt stalking him" i guess i get that. idk. it just drives me Bonkers that people think rhys being real would make a difference to their dynamic whatsoever

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This man gives me Rhys Montrose energy! Please tell me I'm not the only one

Like

Does anyone else see it? Maybe a ill write a fix about Rhys being Tiktok famous.

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Why is this so random?! But also now I need to include this in my writing.

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WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT

Does Rhys have blue or hazel eyes? Because I thought they were blue but recent fanfiction has informed me otherwise.

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queers

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First chapter of the fanfic I've been writing 😁

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Joe enjoys being Jonathan Moore. He loves the simplicity of his new life. He's not worried about his wife murdering his neighbors, he's got no baby to get up for at odd hours of the night, and he has a job that he likes almost as much as working at Mooney’s.

London is nearly as good as New York. The weather may be a bit more icy, but Joe still prefers it to Los Angeles and the constant risk of sunburns. Joe is also much more of a winter person, so being able to wear coats or sweaters almost all year is pleasant.

There are some other perks to living in London as well. Firstly, no one knows anything about Joe Goldberg or the Madre Linda murders. Secondly, this tranquil coffee shop near Joe's Apartment offers a pleasant atmosphere for reading. Thirdly, he has to cut through the park on his way, which makes his walk all the more peaceful.

This is where Joe finds himself, taking his usual stroll to ‘Killer Coffee.’

(Yes, he sees the irony)

However, this stroll is a bit different today because today he notices him

Near the park entrance, there were multiple chess tables, usually empty. At one of the tables sat a blond man in an intense chess match. Joe would tell you what the man’s opponent looked like, but he couldn't take his eyes off him.

The man was wearing a black long-sleeve shirt that snuggled his arms. His face held concentration as he contemplated his next move. His hand moved to touch one of the chess pieces, but at that moment, the man’s eyes flicked to Joe.

(We’re making eye contact)

Joe quickly looked away and briskly walked out of the park towards the coffee shop. Joe’s ears slightly flushed at the thought of the man’s piercing gaze. He had been trying to be good, avoiding taking notice of interesting people. Joe knew he had a pattern and what happened when people got caught in that pattern.

(What's the harm? It was only a little staring)

Joe contemplated that thought, and it’s true that he only stared for a second to check the man out. It's not like he’s following him home or murdering his best friend. The chances of seeing him again are low anyway. London is a vast city.

~

Joe is starting to believe that karma exists and that he's got a lot of good karma, or this man has some really bad karma. After that faithful day, he saw the blond man playing chess every Saturday. The man plays a variety of people, seemingly always playing someone new.

Joe knows this because of his new routine. Wake up, get ready, walk to the park, stare at him, and continue walking.

On a positive note, Joe still knows nothing about the man; he is still doing well and keeping the man an enigma. Joe can do simple things and live with keeping to himself.

(for now)

Joe sometimes thinks about stopping to talk to the man.

(Maybe ask him for directions? Come off as a clueless American or ask if I can play one with him. Or ask for his number. People do that still, right?)

All these questions had yet to really go anywhere. Joe would just continue to sip his coffee and walk past the man as usual by the next day.

In all honesty, he was scared of the man. Joe craved knowing everything about someone and always predicting the next move. So, approaching a man he knew nothing about was too out of Joe's control.

So, his routine carried on.

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My headcanon of Rhys calling Joe exclusively Joesph keeps me up at night.