hi im laurathey/she/hei like a series of unfortunate events and other stuff lols !!(Ps I’m only 16)yes I’m that girl doing the vld “reviews” as a first time watcher
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more crumbs
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What if...
#not even joking this would unironically be so good as a modern au#instead of 20 years it takes him 20 months or something
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Time may pass but my love for you remains the same ❤️🩹✨️

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going through Telemachus's old stuff
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Wow! Thank you so much!
Hey!! I’ve always liked the way your fics are written and you seem to have a lot of experience so i wanted to ask for some advice.
how do you go about writing dialogue in a way that doesn’t sound unnatural and fits/flows within a work/story?
Dialogue can be tricky as it has so many nuances and there's no one right way to write it. That said, here's a couple things you may want to keep in mind to help with the flow and always remember, emotion, emotion, emotion.
1. Ask yourself what the purpose of this dialogue is. If it's to share information -- and potentially a lot of it -- writing offers the lovely ability for us to take dialogue and turn it into exposition, so long as we frame it correctly. Sort of with a lead like, "Okay, here's what we're gonna do." And then the next paragraph or two is essentially recapping what your characters just discussed. It makes it more concise and definitely easier to read.
2. Dialogue is more than just words; it's expressions and movement too. We can say a lot without actual dialogue and incorporating that definitely helps with flow. Saying, "I don't know," she shrugged, "it just doesn't make any sense." reads a lot more engaged than "I don't know," she said, "it just doesn't make any sense." And I'll get on the 'said' part in a bit.
When you're having characters exchange dialogue, whether it's two or three or more, break up the words with movement and expressions because it really does help it to read more naturally.
3. Unless a person is giving a rehearsed speech or they're in full-on talk mode (whether it's ranting, talking about something they're passionate about, etc.) where they're more of talking at a person than with them, there are pauses in speech. We take breaths. We say "um" or "uh" even when we know what we're on about. We gesture. We repeat words, we can stutter, we can have a mind blank where we just stare for a second with a pause before we continue. Don't forget to incorporate pauses in dialogue.
4. To the 'said' point. I have nothing against 'said.' I love 'said' but you have to be careful with it. If your character is just said said said all the time then why are you even needing to use it? Clearly we know someone is talking. Using an adjective in front or behind it can help set tone and provides a better glimpse as to what the characters are saying.
Then there's all of the amazing words that literally have the tone built in. Use them! I have no qualms watching characters engage in dialogue with a different verb every other exchange. I think it it breathes life and movement into the story. And if you can combine those things with action? Even better!
Read these few examples for comparisons based on mood, tone, and delivery.
"I don't know," she said softly, "it just doesn't make any sense." -- adjective to set the tone of the conversation.
"I don't know," she said softly, her shoulders curling in, "it just doesn't make any sense." - adding action
"I don't know," she whispered, her shoulders curling in and eyes lowering, "it just doesn't make any sense." -- multiple actions, verb
"I don't know," she whispered, eyes downcast, "it just... it just doesn't make any sense." -- extra pauses, repetition
"I don't know," her shoulders curled in, "it just doesn't make any sense." -- a physical action fully takes the place of the 'said' portion, but it relates to the feelings and outward emotions of the character to convey the tone without saying such.
VS
"I don't know!" she said angrily. "It just doesn't make any sense!"
"I don't know!" she snapped. "It just doesn't make any sense!"
"I don't know!" she snapped, eyes flashing and hands curling into fists. "It just doesn't make any sense!"
Please note the . vs the , in the 'angry' examples as well because of the use of the !. Periods make you stop/pause more than a comma (and also gramatically correct in this instance.) We could write it as
"I don't know," she snapped, "it just doesn't make any sense." We lose some of that immediate impact and it feels more like she's talking rather than actually snapping.
"I don't know!" her hands curled into trembling fists at her sides. "It just doesn't make any sense!"
"I don't know, okay?" she snapped, eyes flashing and hands curling into fists. "It just," her voice cracked, "it doesn't make any sense." -- adding in that sort of "um / natural pause" and repeating a word, ending with a . instead of ! to show we're no longer shouting.
Each of these examples can read very differently with what message you're conveying despite the dialogue is, for the most part, identical.
5. To all of the above, dialogue is emotion. Unless we're reciting facts or giving a status report -- which should still have actions to accompany them -- we are inflecting something into our words. If you can't feel the conversation then what is the point of having it (writing it)?. In that case exposition is going to be your friend.
6. This is just a general thing, but paragraphs, please. And if you're running on more than 3 (longish) sentences split to a new paragraph. The way you do that is rather than closing the first paragraph with a " leave it open (with punctuation!) and then restart the " at the next paragraph.
Hope that helps!
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Since, it seems people enjoyed Circe last time, here's my version of Athena ~ !
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Happy Father's day to Joyce Byers.
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we did it boys
I think I’m gonna finally finish my fic today
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Hey guysssss😗😗
Might wanna check this out 👀👀
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Family time!

#loving all the redraw of this#epic the musical#epic#the odyssey#i mean yeah#epic odysseus#epic telemachus
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Fuck.
I think I’m gonna finally finish my fic today
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Catching up on 20 years worth of gossip
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he's just an infant...he's just a boy....MY BOY!!!!
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okay I lied. but TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
I think I’m gonna finally finish my fic today
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Epic au where odysseus dies and becomes a ghost and the only person that can see him is penelope.
Unfortunately, penelope is in denial of his death and is slowly going insane. The family suffers.
I can imagine that it started from when odysseus' mother died after seeing their ships be blown away by the storm.
It started small, from doubts of the servants to those Said doubts of his survival from the storm ( and from the small amount of hallucinogens that the servants bribed by the suitors to put in the queen's food and drink)
She started hearing voices. Not just any voice, but It was her husbands. Her odysseus. There were many moments when she would hear him and she would look out to balcony.
Until it becomes desperate. She just rushes out the doors, calling out his name, begging him to come out.
Telemachus sees his mother less and less. Until she locks herself to her bedroom. Sometimes he gets to come in. Sometimes he hears nothing. Sometimes he hears her sobbing.
But then odysseus dies. He gets to become a ghost that haunts penelope, just like what the prophet had said. Imagine how devastated he is, seeing his wife seemingly unresponsive but also sometimes talking to herself. So he kneels to her side, trying to grasp her hands. Sometimes it's an apology, most of the time it's just him sobbing.
Rumours finally started. That the Queen is insane and is no longer fit to rule. Telemachus tries his best really. There really wasn't much he can do.
#hey so what the fuck#this is so amazing#op I hate you and I love you#epic the musical#epic penelope#my beautiful depressed queen. no one understands you like I do.#I love penny angst it’s so fun and gut wrenching to read/write
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This day Voltron Legendary Defender was released
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