locurawithin - Tumblr blog

[locurawithin]

Me on Sundays.

When you take a nap and wake up Thirteen hours later.

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The Winchesters. 

14.13 Lebanon

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This is the most adorable thing I’ve seen all week.

And yes, for the most part, I did like FB: Crimes of G.

And I totally find Newtina perfect. 

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

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Nothing to add. 

insp. (x)

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That’s it, we found the meme of the week.

This is why I love Tumblr.

Ministry: you and Grindelwald were as close as brothers

Dumbledore: We were closer than brothers

Ministry:

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I do love Nifflers.

#cutest family ever

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Tina, you legend.

That’s your bother?

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To smile a little in this era of news mayhem.

Big feline purring. 

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Maybe guardian angels are just aliens. 

There to look after us. Maybe they don’t possess more wisdom, and aren’t here to save us, maybe guardian angels are just meant to be here when no one else is.

remember? no interference. 

[locurawithin]

Forever grateful for your words TKG. Forever in awe at how perfectly they describe the inner life within me, which I fail to describe with my own.

Thank you.

Typewriter Series #2417 by Tyler Knott Gregson

[locurawithin]

Guatemalan in Norwich

Hello Tumblr, it’s been a while...

How have you been?

I’m sorry I’ve neglected you so but thank you for welcoming with open arms now that I’m ready. I always knew you’d be there waiting for me.

So, I first published a version on this in Medium on Oct. 12th because it seemed more profesional and a good idea at the time. Of course, I was aware that I could publish for free and pay for more features...but I confess I was NOT aware I’d have to pay to read more than three articles a month. Anyway, Tumblr is more in tune with my fangirl tastes so here I am back again. (Sorry I’ve ever thought I could trade you!).

Anyway, here it goes: 

This is me typing away. A while back,…a while…I say as if it had been forever and I’ve barely been here for three weeks. Anyway, three weeks ago, I thought: I should write this.

We were basically told that in our course introduction: “you should all write about this experience. Most of you will never have again such an experience, so much time…to write, to live, to stare at the window. An MA abroad, you should write about it.”

She was, of course, right. I haven’t written like this in a while, so visceral, so personal; without direction. There it is again: a while…. I guess I haven’t really written then.

My Tumblr has been forgotten, mostly used for fandom; my Blogger is dead. Killed it about a month ago, it was a teenage whim long forgotten….so here I am, entering the a new phase. 

Not yet sure for what, but here we go.

Let’s catalogue this year abroad or whatever this is and we’ll see where it goes.

I can’t promise it will be consistent, but when has my mind been? This is, after all, The madness within.

It’s not like anyone is reading anyway.

PS: I have received the unique opportunity of studying in UEA (near Norwich). As an attempt to understand why, I will be publishing posts about my experiences. Warning: anxieties and nerdy references will be included.

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Icons. 

♪ Walking in Memphis, but do I really feel the way I feel? ♪

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Quarter - life crisis

Quarter life crisis

Dear millennial going through a quarter-life crisis:

I’m sorry you feel like this. I want to help but I don’t even know where to begin, particularly because I’m not sure I have everything solved, but as my psychologist has often pointed out: nobody ever does because it’s impossible to predict the future (I have that annoying ghost called GAD -generalised anxiety disorder-, so you know I think about things waaaaay too much).

Anyway, I can tell you my story and hopefully that’d be helpful (it’s long, sorry): basically I studied psychology (ironically) and found it wasn’t the right path for me. While I was studying it, I worked at a bookstore full time as well because I needed to pay for my education. Now, I realised my mistake during my last year, with only the internship and dissertation left to finish. I managed to finish it because a) I’m stubborn, b) I had a partial scholarship with the agreement I’d graduated c) a degree is better than no degree. I was 23 at that point. I was also working full time and taking more financial responsibilities at home (that’s a whole other story).

After that, I continued to work full time, I had been promoted to shift manager and was very depressed and anxious (dangerously so). I liked the people I worked with and my bosses had been very kind to me, almost like a second family but the job was very stressful. I stayed another few years because I needed the income and also because my GAD paralysed me. I had no other form of income and a bunch of debt, I needed the money and they were nice to me, so why not? Anyways, after a dangerous spiral down depression and anxiety and back again (again, my bosses were very understanding, so I stayed), I started medication and therapy.

I eventually applied for a MA in the UK (unbelievable, I still don’t know how I managed to get out of bed and do that) in a different field (translation), and surprisingly was accepted and applied for funding. My main option for this didn’t come through, but the other did. So here I am: I am a 26 years old Guatemalan in Norwich, who left a job I’ve had for 7 years to move across the world and study.

After a year, I have to come back and pay my student loan and figure out again what to do with the rest of my life. But at least, for now, I’m doing something different. I’m still very anxious about money and try not to think about the future (always, the annoying GAD ghost and the depression dementor are forever), but I sort of think the change of scenery was also kind of helpful. At least I’m trying something different and having an opportunity not everyone does (I’ll get back to that in another post).

TLDR: Obviously, not everyone gets to go back to studying and start again. For a long time I didn’t think I could, but what I’m saying is that if you need the job you have now, definitely stay there, but have something on the side: look for independent courses, volunteering, do other things and see what you’ll like. And know that you’re not alone. However, most of all know this: the ideal living that Instagram and Facebook sell where every millennial is doing what they like is BS. We’re all just doing the best we can with the resources we have because truly, that’s all we can do.

[locurawithin]

I came back to Tumblr specifically for Fitzsimmons because I have so many feelings about this and n o b o d y in my life or other platforms understands...

STOP IM LITERALLY HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.

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This is the cutest.

Iain, Elizabeth, and Jeff at Wondercon

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The Madness within turned 8 today!

I haven’t been here much lately but I’ve realised that I miss it.

I have been thinking a lot about the past (as you do when that perfect mix of anxiety and depression hit you right during the Easter holidays) and remembering about the time when I opened this blog. 

It was my getaway for a long time. I needed it back then to escape stuff at home. 

I don’t need it for that anymore but I think I might need it to get away from my own head (and work, oh, work...also: money and the impeding doom of the future, of course).

Well, nobody will probably read this anyway, but I wanted to write this entry for myself because I miss you Tumblr. Nobody quite understands my fangirl ways as you do.