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[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 16. Afterwards, my mom asked me why I never told anyone I was struggling. I paused for a minute.

"I didn't know that I was. I thought life was supposed to be this hard."

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

dude everyone knew i was Different as a kid. did they know it was auDHD and shit? no, but they knew i was Different.

i sat alone at lunch and didn't mind until someone else pointed it out. i missed pieces and parts of conversations bc no one was particularly interested in my participation and i just couldn't seem to keep on track. i joined and dropped groups like hot potato bc they didn't fit, i didn't fit, no one else seemed to want me to fit.

i made three or four Friends. they were My Friends. invited them to every celebration and hang out and went to their houses and they came over occasionally. bc they were My Friends.

but i was just their friend. they had other friends, they didn't have any Friends, only friends, and none of their friends particularly liked me.

i became the Last Resort. nothing else happening in town? well at least i was always down to hang. my parents were nice (to them) and i'd almost never turn them down, cause i was attention starved and desperate for positive human interaction and they were My Friends even if i wasn't theirs.

but they moved away, or summer came, or they found different interests, or, or, or, and suddenly My Friends..... weren't, anymore.

and so i was Friendless.

i mean, ofc i had friends. or, well, acquaintances. people i saw and talked to every day, who would probably call me "friend", who i didn't feel any particular way about. but i had no Friends, i was Friend-less and lost.

my once-Friends had spread out amongst different cliques and groups, so i would find myself with the Cool Kids in lunch one day or the Bad Boys in study hall or the Funny Ones in history or....

but i never really fit anywhere, i changed myself day-to-day hour-by-hour minute-by-minute i shifted depending on the people around me bc if i could just get them to like me then Maybe i'd get my Friends back

it didn't work, ofc. i ended up moving away, we didn't keep in touch.

and at them time it was Fine, i was Fine. Problem, What Problem? There Is No Problem Here What Do You Mean.

but now here i am, still struggling, bc i want Friends and most people don't seem to understand the concept of Friends, or they do, and i'm not it.

so yeah, i didn't always know i was autistic, or that i have ADHD, but i always knew i was Different. bc everyone around me knew, and made it very clear.

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

Just two days ago I was reminiscing of the Hades-Persephone AU and it felt deeply nostalgic. By the way, thanks to you showing me Tamino all that time ago, I'll now sing "Habibi" in front of a public, at my singing teacher's musical show ✨❤️‍🔥

Adrienne Rich, Fox: Poems 1998-2000; from ‘If Your Name Is on the List’ (edited excerpt)

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

Reblogging again because I had forgotten about this post, but then, unnoticedly, I actually tricked my brain. I was writing a story for a challenge earlier this year and I had made a playlist for it. Normally I don't write with music because it distracts me, but this time, as it was a Loki AU fanfic, I just started adding songs from the Thor soundtrack, and Spotify started recommending soundtracks from other movies that had kind of the same vibe. At first I wrote without music. I couldn't focus, as always (ADHD here). Then I tried brown and pink noise, which was a tad better. Then one day, Idk why, I put the story's playlist, which has no lyrics in any songs, and started writing. I wrote mostly every day, and by the third day or so the playlist was already a trigger. I sat down with the notebook in front of me (for this story, I wrote longhand and it was amazing), put the earphones on, put the playlist and half a song in, I was already in the writing zone.

I'm still writing that story, that I started in February, because it's a long-fic. I'm still writing it longhand, I transcribe it with voice-to-text to the computer later, when I have a bunch of chapters done. I still use the playlist every single time. I've tried doing it without music and my brain can't focus. The music helps it focus. So much that some songs from totally unrelated movies (such as Robin Hood, 1,000 BC or Stardust) are 100% my fanfic's soundtrack and vibe. Over time, I kept the big playlist that has all the songs, as a master playlist, but I also created smaller ones for specific themes or emotions, where I put the songs from the master playlist that fit them. For example, one of the playlists is for "calm, majestic, happy" songs. Another, for "sad, emotional". Another for "action, suspense, exciting". Another, "war, battle" songs. Sometimes I just put the master list, other times I pick specific themed lists, sometimes I put a single song on repeat x10 times because it fits perfectly the scene or chapter I'm writing. This is the master playlist, for anyone that wants to give it a listen:

To get your creativity flowing:

Find some music you love; extended instrumental tracks work best for me, but you do you. Get a bunch of them. Making them all in the same genre would be good, because you’re gonna use them to trick your brain.

When you write, play that music. Stick to this for at least a couple weeks.

Soon you’ll find that as tough as it is to get started, once you’re sitting at the keyboard, the music is playing, and you’ve gotten your first sentence down, your brain will say, “I’m supposed to write now.” Once your brain is in the Zone™, it’s way easier to keep going.

It’s not 100% perfect—there is no substitute for self-discipline—but it works wonders for me!

(I talk about this in the context of writing, but I bet it’ll also work with art or whatever else.)

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[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

At the Gates of Helheim

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

- hey, cowboy!  |  cowboy loki au

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

Hela is Loki’s birth mother THEORY

Alright, my theory begins with Hela’s story. She says herself that they were going to take over the nine realms, revealing that she was power-hungry. She was raised to be that way. 

Then all of a sudden, Odin “ashamed of how he got it” wanted to stop. He wanted to be a good king. Hela didn’t want to accept that. Instead of being banished right off the bat, I think Hela tried to come up with her own plan to continue the reign of power, with or without Odin.

Which is how she met Laufey.

Laufey, who was sick and tired of Odin and Asgard in general. When Hela, Odin’s daughter came to meet him, he was interested to hear her out. I believe that Hela proposed a suggestion that they would work together. Together Hela and Laufey could bring Jotunheim back to its glory and they could eventually take over the other realms.

Odin didn’t know anything about this. Laufey made a fake peace treaty with Odin, as Hela says in her story.

During this time, they fell in love. Hela got pregnant with Loki. Obviously she couldn’t hide that from anyone. She joined Laufey’s side fulltime and finally betrayed Odin. I think Odin tried to stop her which led to a battle. It was the battle in which Hela killed a lot of Asgardian soldiers. She got away with it and fled to Jotunheim.

She had Loki at some point. Laufey and Hela decided to leave Loki on Jotunheim as they travelled to Midgard/Earth, Tønsberg Norway to be exact. They were going to begin their conquest there.

It’s the beginning of Thor 1;

(I think it looked more like this tbh)

During that battle, Odin didn’t only win over Jotunheim. He banished Hela.

I think he banished Hela in tonsberg, because it’s the same place where Hela comes back. It’s where Odin went to die. To a place where he could think about his past. He felt tied to Tonsberg because it’s where he lost his daughter.

Anyway, back to when Loki was a baby.

Odin knew Hela had been pregnant. He also knew that Hela had teamed up with the Frost giants. He knew that Hela’s child was on Jotunheim. As Loki’s GRANDfather, Odin wanted Loki back. He missed Hela so Loki was the closest thign to her that he could have.

Knowing that Odin is a d*ck, he also kept in mind that Loki could be used to “unite the kingdoms one day” yadda yadda yadda. 

Also keep in mind that Loki was “small for a giant’s offspring” it’s ebcause he’s half Asgardian. Loki had Asgardian traits because of Hela. He’s powerful because of Hela. Also they look so much alike. 

Why else would Odin, someone who was knee-deep in Jotun blood, take in a random ass baby? Wouldn’t the Frostgiants’ casket be enough?

That’s why when Loki confronted Odin back in THor 1, Odin was so upset. Not only did his “son” find out he was adopted, but the confrontation reminded Odin so much of Hela. A daughter no one had talekd about for over a thousand years. It must’ve been hard for the old king. 

He only gave Loki half the truth.

(This is from the official Thor 1 script, not the movie)

Loki: You could have told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn’t you?

Odin: You are my son, my blood.  I wanted only to protect you from the truth.

Look Odin, I don’t know if you knew this but if you snatch a random baby, it won’t have your blood

UNLESS

Loki truly has Odin’s blood. Not as his son, but as his grandson.

The truth he wanted to protect Loki from was Hela. Not Jotunheim, not Laufey or anything like that. It was Hela. How could Odin have told Loki about Hela when no one even remembered her/knew of her? It was Odin’s greatest secret! Then of course, before Odin could say another word, he fell into Odinsleep. 

Now, let’s talk about Laufey, shall we?

In Thor 1 when Thor, Loki, Sif and the warriors three go to Jotunheim, Thor wonders how they got into Asgard.

Thor: How did your people get into Asgard?

Laufey: *stares directly at Loki* Odin’s house is full of traitors.

Note: not a traitor, traitorS

Sure, he refers to the fact Loki told them how to get in there. But since Laufey said it in plurals, it would only make sense he’s also talking about Hela. Hela, who also belongs to Odin’s house. Who also betrayed Odin. The traitors Laufey talked about were Loki AND Hela.

Laufey: (to Thor) “You do not know what your actions will unleash…..I do”

Look at how sad he is. How he clearly thinks back to something that hurt him as he says that. 

According to Odin, Laufey abandoned Loki, left him to die. But what I see here is a father who lost something dear to him. Not only did Laufey lose Hela, he lost Loki too. And it seems to me Laufey didn’t abandon Loki. This theory is strengthened when Laufey says this about Odin “Your father is a murderer and a thief!” Yes, Odin stole the casket but he also stole/kidnapped Loki.

The entire scene in which Loki offers Laufey a deal reminds Laufey so much of Hela. How over a thousand years ago she was the one in Loki’s shoes, offering Laufey a chance very much like Loki’s. It’s why he’s genuinely so interested in it. I also think Laufey wanted his son back, one way or another and that this deal would bring them closer to each other. Laufey didn’t know how to suspect Loki because he was a father who wanted to get to know his son. It was a one time opportunity he simply couldn’t let go of. (+ he would get the casket as well so it’s a win-win situation).

One last thing,

just look at them

Also in this scene when Loki throws a dagger at Hela, Hela catches it. Instead of throwing it back at Loki and killing him, she throws it back and sends Loki away. She has no interest nor passion whatsoever in fighting Loki. She doesn’t want to kill him, she didn’t even want to INJURE HIM. Because he’s her son.

Instead, she goes right to Thor, her brother whom she was replaced by. She has motivation to fight Thor, but no motivation to fight her son, right? After all, Loki has done nothing bad to her. She loves him deep down, I’m sure.

When Hela was in Odin’s vault, she saw the frost giants’ casket and she called it weak. OBVIOUSLY, she has experience with it. She put her trust in Jotunheim and still lost to Odin. That’s why she called it weak.

Loki and Hela also share a common interest, the tesseract

IN NORSE MYTHOLOGY Loki is Hela’s father. Loki is also Thor’s uncle. But if this theory would be true, Thor would be Loki’s uncle, Hela would be Loki’s mother. The roles are reversed from mythology.

Bonus:

In Norse mythology, Odin sacrificed his eye to gain wisdom. But this was never mentioned in the comics. In fact, it was shown that he lost his eye during the very same battle in which I believe he banished Hela. The battle which led him to take Loki.

What if Hela was the one to make Odin one-eyed?

And when Hela first saw Thor, this is what happened:

Thor: “I’m Thor, son of Odin.”

Hela: “Really? You don’t look like him.”

Later in that same movie, Hela does this to Thor

So if Hela was the one to do that to Odin, it would place her at the scene of the battle, Jotunheim vs Asgard. 

Also, when Hela was by Odin’s side, Odin had two eyes. Odin lost his eye when he took in Loki. Hela was gone before that (presumably banished after she took his eye). So how would Hela, who has been banished for 1000+, know that Odin had one eye if she wasn’t there to witness it? She clearly knew about it because she said that to Thor. I’m convinced Hela was the one who did it to Odin. Like if not, the franchise has a pothole. So it’s almost certain that Hela was in that battle. Case closed.

That’s all for now. Please let me know what you think of this theory 💚

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

WHY IS WRITING IS SO FUCKING HARD?

Ten types of fuckery that stop you from writing the thing:

1. Imposter syndrome

You think you're not good enough or everyone else is better than you and you're just winging it AKA ye olde imposter syndrome bullshit. Yeah nah you're fine. No really, you're exactly where you need to be right now, and you'll keep getting better and better so long as you don't stop. Chances are, if you're filled with doubt about your abilities it means you've actually improved to the point where you can really start to understand what makes good writing. It means you know where you wanna end up and goshdarn it you're gonna get there.

Read this: 4 tips to kick imposter syndrome in the face and also genitals

And also this: How to silence the inner critic

2. Fear of rejection and/or failure

Yeah, us too. It fuckin sucks. BUT. Not all rejections are equal. And rejection is a necessary part of the process. Sometimes it takes a rejection to realise that a story isn't ready. Sometimes a rejection is entirely subjective and has ZERO reflection on the quality of your work. But shying away from the very idea of possibly maybe hypothetically getting rejected is only going to hold you back from even trying. And knowing why you got rejected and how to learn from it is one of the most valuable writing skills.

Read this: The different types of rejection (and how to deal with 'em)

Then read this: How to cope with rejection

And also this: Writing lessons from Groundhog Day

3. Not enough planning / too much planning

Leaping into a new story with nothing but a glimmer of an idea is exciting as heck (and can sometimes be a great way to begin) but at some point you're gonna need some sort of outline or plan to keep you on track. HOWEVER. Planning your story to within an inch of its life can also sometimes be a hindrance - leaving you stuck in the hypothetical stage of the process where your story doesn't quite exist yet (and therefore avoiding the prospect of it sucking). The sweet spot is in the middle. Having just enough of a plan to know where tf you're going, but enough freedom and flexibility to let the story lead the way...

Read this: Planning vs pantsing

Then read this: Five plotting techniques

And also this: The perils of overplanning

4. Your WIP just isn't working

Sometimes things just fall flat. Sometimes you work on the same story for yeeeeears and then it just kinda... dies. Sometimes you have the best plans (see above) and the best intentions and things still don't work out. Sometimes it's just time to move on. And sometimes it's not! Sometimes a story can be revived, fixed or changed. Sometimes you just need time. Sometimes YOU'RE the one that's changed and this isn't the story you need to be writing right now. Many variables. Muchly personal. Read the things below for more advice cos this is a big question:

Read this: What to do when your WIP isn't working

And also this: Give it space - how to grow a story in your head

Or how about this? Editing 101

5. You keep deprioritising it

Ah the irony of writing being the thing you love/want to do most of all AND YET the thing you procrastinate over and avoid and shove to the very bottom of your to-do list all the freakin' time. Maybe it's the comodification of art destroying our freedom to create without pressure. Maybe it's late capitalism sucking up all our available time and energy. Maybe it's a lack of self-belief subconsciously telling us our 'little hobby' doesn't really matter. Maybe it's maybelline. Whatever it is, you have the power to reclaim and revalue your writing. To say, "I'm a fucking writer, goddamnit!" and mean it. To ringfence your creative time so nothing and nobody gets to interrupt it. To do that thing you love.

Read this: Prioritise your writing

Read this: How to write in 30 second bursts

6. Shiny Thing Syndrome

You know that feeling when you're just getting stuck into a writing project and then — SQUIRREL! — you get distracted by another, better, more shiny writing project? Or maybe you're deep in the editing phase and your current WIP just isn't feeling very shiny at all and pretty much ANYTHING seems more exciting? Or you simply can't decide which of the many squirrelly writing ideas to actually start? You, fine writerperson, may be suffering from Shiny Thing Syndrome (STS). But fear not! There are a few ways to combat it, depending on the cause, and most of them involve embracing the squirrel-brain and injecting a bit of fun into your writing, like so:

Read this: Shiny thing syndrome - a writer's malady

Aaaand read this: Get excited about your writing again

And also this: Write like a kid

7. Perfectionism/self-sabotage

Look. Writing is scary as shit. What if someone READS it? What if they don't like it? What if they see into your soul and gain a deeper understanding of you through your words? Writing your truth, being vulnerable, smearing your heart juice all over the page? No thank you. But also, that's where the good shit is, so actually yes please. Just make sure you smear responsibly. And rest assured, even the most 'successful' and experienced writers ALSO feel like this sometimes, so you're in good company. It's just part of the art, bruh.

Read this: Why writing is scary (and why that's a good thing)

Read this: Beginning a story - what stops us starting?

And also this: Get out of your own way

8. The dreaded blank page

Oh godddd the blank page. It should be an exciting palimseset of possibility but is somehow also the most terrifying thing known to humankind. You wanna write something but where to start? HOW to start? You type that first line and immediately delete it. You watch the cursor blinking at you—taunting you—until you just give up and shut your laptop again. It's probably tied up with a bunch of things we've already covered so far: perfectionism, imposter syndrome, fear of failure, maybe a lack of planning or faith in your story or whatever. But it doesn't have to be this way. A blank page IS exciting and full of possibility. We just have to get over ourselves and learn to embrace the unknown...

Read this: Don't fear the blank page

And also this: The moaning method

9. Not enough time/energy/motivation/gnuuuughh

Dude, same x 1000. But you don't have to get up at 5am, do hot yoga, drink a kale smoothie and write a thousand words before sunrise to be a Proper Writer. You don't even have to write every day. But what you can do is hack your writing brain and figure out when, where, how, and why you write most effectively. Then tweak your schedule, your habits, and your attitude to ensure you're making the most of your time. Productivity is a big ol' lie but finding the secret to getting in your own personal writing zone is actual MAGIC.

Read this: Maximise your writing time

And also this: Get in the writing zone

And also unto this: The Writers' HQ Guide to Productivity

10. You're just fucken stuck

Got the writing morbs? In need of some literary sudafed? Stuck as a pig in a poke? Writing is a whole puzzle of a process—and to be honest that's what makes it so fun and exciting and addictive, because your writing brain is hardwired to both create AND solve the wordy puzzles within your story. Sometimes the answer is time. Sometimes it's a second opinion or a fresh eye. Sometimes a totally different approach or just a hefty kick up the bum. But whatever the problem, there IS a solution. You just gotta keep going and trust that you'll find it...

Read this: Troubleshoot your writing - why are you stuck?

And also this: Break through the writing blockage

And also also this: Write yourself into a pit (and then dig your way out again)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alright, that's it for today. Now go write, you flithy animals.

(And if we missed anything, stick a question in our ask box or check out the rest of our shit here)

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

SCARLET WITCH @giftober 2022 (+@mcuchallenge) | Day #30: “Danger”.

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“Childhood’s over the moment you know you’re gonna die.”

THE CROW 1994 | dir. Alex Proyas

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WANDAVISION ‘All-New Halloween Spooktacular!’ @giftober 2022 (+@mcuchallenge) | Day #31: “Free Day”

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I’m working all through the night…

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"biblical marriages are set against women and so patriarchal with no consideration for wives"

meanwhile God speaking through...

Moses: yes, Man has everything he needs here in Eden but there's still something missing. he should have someone fit to help and complement him.

Peter: brothers if you're bad husbands, God's just straight up not going to listen to your prayers. get your act together and take care of your wife.

Paul: you better be prepared to die for your wife guys. and that's not a suggestion, that's God's command.

Solomon: a good wife is literally priceless. like you could be the richest man and she would still be more valuable to you than all of it combined.

Paul again: honor your wife, you're equal to her in God's eyes and co-heirs with Christ. treat her like you would yourself.

Malachi: you priests have neglected and mistreated your wives and been unfaithful even though you're supposed to be one with them? there is nothing but misery that will come for you for this breach of covenant.

Paul, yet again: if you are not mirroring Jesus Christ in how you treat her in marriage, you're failing in your duty as a husband.

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It’s so creepy how people take a completely platonic relationship between two heterosexual male characters WITH WIVES and obsess over how “gay” they are. All it shows is you weirdos have no idea what a best friend is or what genuine friendship is or what healthy platonic relationships are period.

[loki-used-to-rule-the-world]

Do not do NaNo!

NaNoWriMo has made it very clear on where they stand on the subject of abortion. If you are a pro life writer they want nothing to do with you. So what writing challenge is left for the Christians and members of the pro life community? 

I recommend joining NoQuWriMo, or Not Quite Writing Month. It’s “an alternative writing program built on a Christian and Constitutional foundation but open to all.” that was started by a dear friend of mine last year. 

If you’d like to join, the link to the website is below

https://ednapellen.wixsite.com/noqu