loonaversalstudios

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boy: *breaks the arm*

MAN: *carefully spins the shield to avoid damaging the arm*

The flirting of mentally unstable supersoldiers is i n s a n e.

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Okay but concept based on john being kinda the new tony stark (shipped with everyone and their mother)

john "living PR crisis" walker constantly convincing the public that he is dating each of his teammates:

It starts when the New Avengerz have like a really bad mission. A publicly bad mission. And they are trying to do damage control at a press conference. One of the more conservative-leaning reporters (who all only address their questions to John and maybe sometimes Bucky) starts asking questions like, "what has it been like going from being led by very decorated men in the military to being an Avenger under the leadership of Ms. Belova?" (basically implying Yelena is a bad leader because she is a woman). And John is. Just so tired and his body hurts and he is tired of being some weird pedestal for these annoying misogynistic racist people. So he just loses it. Starts ranting about how Yelena is the best leader he has ever had and that he would "follow her to hell and back without question you fucking losers."

And the press doesn't understand that John at his core really is that loyal when he trusts someone (and he has trusted Yelena since they got out of the vault together). So OF COURSE the press assumes that they are sleeping together.

None of the thunderbolts take it seriously--it's just some stupid gossip that will eventually pass on. (But Yelena does give John a hug when no one is around to thank him for supporting her).

Except.

It keeps happening.

Ava has a bad day spiraling about her childhood growing up in labs and John invites her to come with him during his visitation with his son. They all spend the day under the sun running around playing games before getting ice cream. The next day, the headlines read, "Current Avengers, John Walker and Ava Starr: Relationship Timeline (co-parenting?)."

And then, Bucky gets thrown into a wall during a mission, and John just freaks out, eyes glassy, and starts frantically petting him, making sure that he was okay. Someone takes a photo of John holding Bucky's face in his hands, looking terrified.

After that, during one of those PR "friendship test videos" (that all of them hate but Val forces them to do) Alexei and John are paired together and one of the questions is what is the other person's favorite food. And John's answer is not only right, but like insanely specific, i.e., the borscht from this shop in this random street in St. Petersburg, outside of which Alexei had his first kiss. Alexei talks alot, okay-and John had unfortunately asked what everyone's favorite food was as the resident cook and was plagued with a good enough memory even without the serum to remember every. single. word. Alexei said. (When this inevitably blows up, Yelena immediately makes fun of John for being such a whore that he goes for two generations in the same family).

Eventually, the press also start asking questions about who this random dude living with the team in the Avengerz tower is and John just immediately panics and say "he's my....guy?" (he had a blond moment and couldn't think of anything fast enough).

Bonus: John's old tweets resurface and it's just. Him fighting people on main during the height of civil war on how Sam Wilson is a great Avenger (He can fucking fly??) and just generally being kind of lowkey obsessed with Falcon (like c'mon Sam did some crazy missions for the military as Falcon, there were probably tons of military people who were kind of obsessed with him). And the public are just like...oop Captain America totally rejected Walker's ass lmao

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Eepy

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I don't want to see anything else from now on.

thank u

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bucky in relation to the thunderbolts to me is like. Yelena is sisterdaughterson , Ava is his conjoined twin, bob is The Child, Alexei comes to him as a friend from Papa’s Orchard, and Walker is his Wife in a very 1940s sense

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lestat and armand taking turns picking the activity

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for some reason this post makes me think of them

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Batlantern relapse and it’s all Marvel Rivals’ fault

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You know what isn't a crime, but definitely should be one? The casual mischaracterization of Sentry in fan content. I'm so done😭

1. I hate how he's often depicted as cruel, he's not, look at him, fucking look? And when Ava asks about the hair dye, what does he do? He looks to Val for an answer, he's constantly fidgeting, trying to find an out for the bunch of misfits who previously helped him in the vault.

2. I hate how people try to turn it into a Marc Spector, Steven Grant and Jake Lockley situation when it's. Like. Not?? This is such a disservice to both Moon Knight and The Sentry, and real people who relate to the two characters' (very distinct very different) mental health issues. Bob doesn't have DID, if anything, the movie leans towards him being bipolar. Sentry is Bob, the guy literally tells Yelena in the vault that he has high highs and low lows, the high is Sentry, the low is the Void, that's it. Bob is both Sentry and The Void. What's so hard to understand? It's the mania (Sentry), followed by depression (Void) then he forgets. That's how Bob describes it in the first act of the film, that's how it happens in the third act.

3. This is not a contradiction to point 1, but Sentry is unhinged. He is awkward and somehow soft spoken? But he is unhinged, and invincible, and fucking terrifying. I'm tired of the stoic depictions in fics like🙂‍↔️ idc if you wanna write fics for comic Sentry, just don't tag them as mcu stuff. (WHO AM I KIDDING COMIC SENTRY IS FUCKING SCARYYY STOP THE BABYFICATION)

4. He is not evil (the fact that we have to spell this out... media literacy is truly dead huh), no shit the Thunderbolts* will be scared of him, of course they will be– he kicked the ever-living shit out of them. But he's not malicious, he doesn't use unnecessary force. Call it condescending, but he's going easy on them, toying with them, and deals arguably softer blows to Yelena, John and Ava, the trio he already met at the vault (because he's the same person, yk? jesus)

5. Prespective is a thing, the team wasn't there to see Sentry tell Val he doesn't want to kill them (they're no threat to him), it's the root cause of their disagreement, it leads to the New York Blackout TM, but we, the audience, were. So tell me why the fuck do I see stuff with this guy terrorizing that team for no reason? 😭 bfr guys.

6. So what? So while I can buy you showing me Ava or John or Alexei or Bucky or Yelena being fearful of the Sentry, or Val (hahaha eat shit Val), I simply can't get behind him actually being a threat to them, on purpose and beyond swatting them like flies, because hi hello have you seen the movie? Yeah.

7. Have I mentioned Sentry is unhinged? Yeah. Yeah. We got glimpses of it with Val before Mel pressed the kill switch but!! Sentry!! Is!! Unhinged!!

8. Find a middle ground, he doesn't have to be uwu or straight up satan or stoic as a rock, he is Bob in mania, so that's inherently Bob with high levels of energy and a higher self esteem (more like a GODLY EGO) and impulsivness and dillusions of grandeur (except they're not dellusions anymore? So rip), so do with that what you will.

Fingers crossed for more in-character Sentry content, at least the Sentry depicted by Lewis Pullman, who put his all into this performance but whose character is still somehow misunderstood? Anyways.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

[loonaversalstudios]

john has bled for other people his whole life and he doesn’t hesitate to throw himself into danger for the rest of the team and i think that definitely fucks them up and definitely makes bucky want to kiss him stupid

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post battle excitement

(uncensored on bluesky as always)

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John Walker the diva you could be...

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Thirty something years later and his ass is still not listening

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supersoldiers do get tired 😴 insp.

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Whatever that means

bonus;

yaoi image

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supersoldiers do get tired 😴 insp.

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This isn't the first time I've used this pose... Anyway