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lordofangst · 3 years

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should i rewrite this but better? apparently it’s been like a year since i’ve written it but i think i did so bad, i’ve grown a lot in my writing but i love the concept.

hi! from ur holiday prompts can I have a Sirius x reader with the “under the mistletoe” prompt but it’s angst, like maybe he’s with another girl or something? Thank u!

Under The Mistloe.

ship | paring: sirius x reader.

universe | era: marauders era.

theme: angst.

prompt | summary: #4, under the mistletoe. sirius and y/n have been together for quite a while now, but things get complicated in their relationship when sirius is under the mistletoe at a holiday party in the gryffindor common room with another girl instead of y/n, who is trying to shake her nerves out in the corridor, just a few feet away from the door.

warning: swearing, cheating, forcing [?].

request: uppp there. ^

story word count: 3400.

a/n: i wanted to end this with fluff but i’m sad so i’m going to make myself even sadder with this. it killed me to write it-

“Come on y/n, it’ll be fun. No one should be looking at you the whole time other than me, so there’s no need to be worried, I promise.” The raven-haired boy insisted. Y/n sighed but nodded, despite not agreeing. She wasn’t ever a big fan of parties and was quite scared of them if she were being honest. Sirius knew this but didn't want her to be alone on Christmas eve, so he urged her to come with him.

She wasn't ever a big fan of parties and was quite scared of them if she were being honest. Sirius knew this but didn't want her to be alone on Christmas eve, so he urged her to come with him.

"Cool. You're the best, darling." He said, hugging her. It reassured her a bit. As long as Sirius was there, it couldn't go bad at all, right?

"I'll meet you there, the boys and I are going out today. It starts at 8, okay?" He winked, leaving the small room they were in. Y/n walked out after a few minutes, thinking about the party before bumping into someone on her way to the common room.

"Excuse me, please watch where you're- ah, Y/n, hello, you look off. What's got you bothered?" The boy asked with a small smile. "Remus? Shouldn't you be on your way to do something with the others?" Y/n asked with a confused face, ignoring his previous question.

He shook his head. "No, I don't have anything planned with them today other than the party. Why do you ask?" "Oh... Sirius just said he would be hanging out with you guys today and to meet him at the party, that's all." She said, biting her lip. He didn't lie to her, did he? No. Sirius would never lie to her. Never.

"They must be doing some prank and didn't want me to take points off. I guess being a prefect has some problems when being a Marauder." He said, shrugging. Y/n nodded, silent. "Hey, if you'd like, we could spend some time together as well as the other girls? I was going to help them get ready for the party." Remus offered.

"I.. okay, I'll go with you." She agreed, and the two walked in a comfortable silence up to the Gryffindor common room, and into the dorms.

"Remus! You're here. Oh, Y/n, you're here too! I needed an extra opinion on my dress, so, perfect, you're here." Lily said, embracing Y/n in a big warm hug. "Did you decide to go to the party? Please tell me you're going." Marlene whined, holding onto her arm. "I'm going Mar, I'm going. Sirius managed to convince me to go." She explained, and the girls squealed in excitement.

"We'll be there too Y/n, that makes you worry less, right? Your boyfriend, and all your friends. There's nothing to be afraid of." Alice said with a soft smile, trying to comfort her. "I guess. Thank you, Alice." She sighed, with a grateful look on her face. "Well, this is where we get ready." She said, walking over to the vanity.

"Yay! That's our girl!" Lily cheered, grabbing her curling iron from her trunk. The four girls and one boy chattered about anything and everything while getting ready. After hours of giggling, maybe some alcohol, and deciding what looked perfect on them, everyone was ready.

"Y/n, we all look amazing, and we're here with you. It'll be alright, okay?" Remus comforted, and the other hummed in agreement. "Thank you all. I don't know what I would do without you." She said happily. All five of them decided to match, wearing red and white.

Lily and Y/n wore red dresses that weren't too fancy, but most definitely not plain or boring. Alice and Marlene decided to match in white dresses, and Remus wore a combination of red and white. Even though they matched, they all had their unique twist to it, and all the joy they had together while getting ready convinced Y/n she was ready.

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!" Marlene said, and they all walked out of the dorm, into the common room. It was filled with decorations of balloons, lights, streamers, a table of snacks and drinks, with people packing the place.

Noticing her panic, the four others placed a hand on her to reassure her that she could do it, and she smiled at them as a way of saying thanks. She looked for Sirius first, spotting him in the corner talking and laughing with his best friends James and Peter.

Y/n walked right up to them with Remus and Lily, while Marlene and Alice went to go get snacks. "Y/n!" Sirius smiled, seeing her approach them. He embraced her, placing a kiss on her head. James gaped at Lily, with a blush on his face.

"Potter." She greeted, laughing at how red his face turned. "I- uh.. you-" He stuttered at both her appearance and presence. "So, are you going to ask me to dance or what?" She asked. He grabbed her hand, pulling her away. Lily looked back at Y/n, waving goodbye with a big smile on her face.

"So, how are you feeling?" Sirius asked Y/n, about the party. "I'm feeling alright, Remus and the girls helped me a lot. Still kind of nervous though." She admitted. It must've been at least half an hour of talking and a few minutes of dancing with the girls before Y/n felt panic rise in her chest again.

She remembered how much she hated the loud noises, all the people cramped together in the room, and bright lights. "I'm going to be right back. Just need some air." She hastily said to Sirius without giving him a chance to speak, before running out of the room.

She panted, leaning on the cool stone wall of the corridor. "It's fine. All it is is a party, with my friends." She whispered to herself, taking deep breaths until she felt she was ready to go back in.

It seemed as though her timing wasn't very good though because as soon as she came in, her eyes scanned for Sirius immediately but saw something she didn't want to see. Tears filled her eyes as she comprehended what was going on. Sirius was under a mistletoe, with a light blonde girl and kissing her deeply.

"Y/n!" Marlene called out to offer her sugar cookies, but she couldn't make out her voice, too busy staring at Sirius. She ran up the stairs into her dorm, pushing past everyone else, trying to keep it together until she reached her bed. Sobs filled the room, the noise of the party distant, but still there. There was a soft knock on the door, as well as angry whispering.

It slowly opened, and a quiet voice spoke up. "Y/n? Are you alright? We saw you run up here. Is it the party?" Alice asked. The four walked into the room, shutting the door, and sat down on her bed. "Come on, you can tell us." Lily urged, holding her hand.

"Don't worry guys, I was just a little freaked out by the people. Okay? I'm just going to calm down by the library, but tell Sirius to meet me there after the party, yeah?" She requested, and they nodded. "Do you want to be alone? You know that we will come if you want us to." Alice said, but Y/n shook her head. "I want to be alone, thank you though." She said, hugging her.

They all nodded and went back down the stairs hesitantly. Y/n sighed, trying to hold in her tears, and changed into something a bit more comfortable before walking down the steps again and out the common room.

It felt like it's been a day until she finally heard footsteps approaching her. She was drained from crying by now, and just sat on the cold ground, staring at the wall.

"Y/n? Remus told me to meet you here... Are you alright?" Sirius' voice echoed through the hall.

"What do you think Sirius? Why don't you go ask your perfect girl who you were kissing earlier and see if she knows the answer?" She said in a monotone voice, not looking at him. It went silent for a second before his panicked voice starting talking again. "Y/n, come on. You know I wouldn't kiss someone else."

"Hey Siri, I had fun tonight. See you tomorrow." The same girl she saw him with earlier said with a wink, then walked away. She gave a sly look to Y/n, but she didn't notice of course. "So what was that then?" She said, growing tired from all the crying.

"She just means games. I would never cheat on you Y/n. What kind of sick person do you think I am? You don't trust me?" He said with a frown. "Merlin, I can't believe you. How dare you lie like that right in front of me? I saw you, okay? How far did you guys take it? How long have you been with her?" She said, raising her voice a bit.

"...Okay fine. I may have hooked up with her a few times this month. But we've been together for two years now, and you never want sex! You always make out with me then decline it as soon as we get so close. It's frustrating, and Ana just treats me right." He groaned.

"A whole month? Are you kidding me? Is that why you always say you're hanging out with the boys? So you can go fuck your side chick?" She said frustratedly, looking at him. "What else was I supposed to do?! You never do enough for me, but she does!" He yelled.

"Everything I did was for you. Who was it that comforted you when you got sorted into Gryffindor instead of Slytherin? Me. Who was there when you and your brother fought? Me. Who was the one who took you to James when I found you outside running away? Me. Who was the one who loved you with their entire heart? Fucking me, Sirius Orion Black. And you know what's even worse? As much as I hate you for what you did, I still love you. Just- fuck you." She spat, standing up.

"No no no wait- come on, we can figure something out!" He said desperately, grabbing onto her arm to keep her from leaving.

"Listen. We're going to pretend to be together for a few days. Okay? I'm not ruining our friends' Christmas. We're just going to pretend we're happy, then we say we're breaking up because we don't feel the same way for each other anymore. But don't think I'm ever going to get back with you again." She huffed, before taking her arm back from him and leaving.

"Y/n wait, I'm sorry, I'll call it all off, please, I can't lose you." He breathed out. "We're not doing this anymore Sirius. Go." She said sternly, trying to keep her tears in. Of course she wanted to go back to him, but she didn't want to risk being hurt again.

"No, I can't, come on darling. I love you." He said in a rushed voice. "Leave, Sirius." "Y/n don't be mad at me, I swear it won't happen again! Don't leave me." He begged.

"YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME, DO YOU BLACK? DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU? DID YOU EVER THINK OF ME BEFORE CHEATING? HOW HURT I'D BE IF I FOUND OUT? OR WERE YOU GOING TO KEEP IT A SECRET FOREVER AND HOOK UP WITH GIRLS BEHIND MY BACK FOR ETERNITY? DO YOU EVER USE YOUR BRAIN?" She yelled, tears flowing down her face again, and eventually, her body betrayed her.

Sirius looked up at the ceiling with his hands in his pockets, a lot wanting to cry or look weak as people passed. All while y/n was on the ground, hands, and knees dirty, hair all over the place, and tears freely dripping.

"I-I hate you... I fucking hate you. You can't even c-care for me just so you can't ruin your r-reputation. All you care about is y-yourself. I never want to see you a-again after Christmas. Okay? Merlin, just... I can't believe you. I can't believe I ever loved you. It wasn't worth anything. I can't believe I wasted my time, money, love, and words on someone like you. I-I deserve better, Sirius. I'm no narcissist like y-you are, but I deserve better than w-whatever we had." She spat, pulling her hair back to relieve herself of the sweat from crying.

He glanced down at her, a tear falling down his face. "No. Don't say that. Don't use past tense with me. I'll do better, I swear it to you. I promise with all of my heart, we can fix this-" "Sirius, you're not listening to me. I don't want your empty words. You promised me multiple things and broke them all. I p-promise I love o-only you, you're the only one for me, I'll never l-leave you, I-I can't live without you. Well, it looks like none of those are true."

"I don't love her as I love you, Y/n. I.. just give me a chance. Just one. Please, I'm begging you." He cried, slowly moving to crouch down to be at her level on the ground.

"I gave you chances already. The train ride, the first time we met, you shoved me and I already hated you, but gave it a chance when you were crying a few days after you got sorted, told me what happened, and tried to be friends with you. I gave our relationship a chance, for it to happen at all. YOU made me fall in love with you then you broke me. Am I just some game? Did you ever love me at all?" She said, voice lowered to a whisper, breathing heavily.

"Of course I loved you. I still do, I love you, Y/n. I won't ever leave your side, I'll give you anything you want, however much it costs, I have money, please-" "I don't want money, Sirius, I wanted you." Sirius fell silent, not knowing what else to say. Had he messed up this badly that she wouldn't take him back?

"I'll see you tomorrow. Act normal. I won't say anything about what happened to anyone, because I still care about your dumb ass and don't want anyone to come at you for it. Goodnight." She said, slowly getting back up. He reached out to help her, but she smacked his arms away and did it on her own.

He watched with sad eyes, as Y/n's steps echoed throughout the empty and quiet corridor.

"It's Christmas! Wake up, sleepyhead!" Marlene squealed, crawling onto Y/n. "She's tired, leave her alone Marls. She'll be up in a minute." Alice chuckled softly, brushing Lily's hair. "But it's Christmas." Marlene frowned, but laid down and cuddled with Y/n under the covers.

"I'm up, I'm up." Y/n groaned, at the sunlight in her eyes and the loud chatter of the room. "Finally, come on, it's Christmas!" She cheered, hopping out of bed. As much as she looked forward to this day, she didn't feel so excited anymore after last night.

"You look off. Is something wrong?" Alice asked while Lily was asleep in her arms once again, Marlene ready to wake her up but still nodding in agreement with Alice.

"I'm fine, just really tired. I had a nightmare." She shrugged, getting up, and starting to brush her hair." "Well, luckily it was only a dream. I know a plant that helps with nightmares if you keep one of its leaves under your pillow if you'd like. The Herbology room has a few of them." Alice offered, as Lily woke up once again to Marlene's screeching.

Y/n shook her head but gave a polite smile. "You're the sweetest Al, but I'll be alright. Just one nightmare." She said, and deeply wished it was only a simple nightmare.

After all of the girls got ready for butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks and presents exchanged in their secret spot, they all headed down into the common room to meet the boys, as well as Frank Longbottom, a boy Alice had met and taken a big liking to.

"Ah, there they are. Hello my beautiful dove, would it be too daring to ask for a kiss as my gift?" James asked, swooning over Lily already. "Potter, I haven't even woken up fully yet." She grumbled, but gave him a quick, angry kiss on the cheek, James' face going extremely red as he fell silent.

"Sirius, Y/n, looks like it's your turn." Marlene winked, as the two looked up to see a mistletoe above them. Oh. This can't be good. Sirius gave her a sad look, and they leaned in. As always, their lips fit together perfectly as if they were made for each other, as Y/n desperately used to believe.

Even though no one other than Sirius noticed, Y/n kiss an extra second than usual, wanting to save it as their last kiss. A goodbye kiss, if I may. As if she were dying and would never see him again.

"When we get there, I want my love to open my gift first!" James said, his hand shooting up into the air. "Whatever Prongs, whatever." Sirius laughed, and Y/n awkwardly joined in.

The group walked from the castle to their secret spot nearby, which was found by Remus a few years back. Even though the other girls didn't want to be involved with the Marauders, they managed to become friends in their 5th year.

After everyone passed around gifts to each other, Sirius cleared his throat, causing everyone to look towards him. "I have one last gift, for Y/n." "That's not fair! Y/n gets an extra gift! She already got one from you." Marlene whined while Lily placed a hand on her mouth to shut her up.

"So... I know we have our arguments, but I just wanted to let you know that I'll always be here, and I'll never leave your side. No matter the situation. So, could you do me a favour, Y/n L/n, and marry me?" He asked, getting down on one knee and pulling a ring out.

A million thoughts ran through her head, the biggest ones being how dare he, and is he joking right now? She couldn't believe this was happening, especially after what they said last night.

Yet, Sirius looked all around the room, smirking at her but his eyes said: Don't you dare say no, everyone is watching us.

Feeling intoxicated and pressured, she muttered a quick yes, and he threw his arms around her while people cheered. He leaned in close, whispering darkly in her ear: "I knew you'd say yes. I told you. you're not getting rid of me, Y/n."

Y/n's face paled, but put on a smile nonetheless and thanked everyone who congratulated her. Was she going to marry him? This wasn't going according to the plan at all, and it made her panic.

“You may now kiss the bride.” The priest said, and even though she didn’t want to, Y/n leaned in to kiss Sirius. Tears filled her eyes, but not happy ones.

It’s been a year since he proposed to her that day on Christmas, and now they were officially married. She didn’t know how to get away from him, so she was stuck, with the ring on her finger imprisoning her for the rest of her life.

“Can you believe it? He’s said to have killed 12 muggles, I hope he gets 12 years in Azkaban for that. Sirius Black, a monster.” Y/n heard a wizard tell another one the streets.

A cold feeling took over her, looking up at the sky. James was dead. Lily was dead. Marlene was dead. Everyone she cared about was gone, but she was free of Sirius, she hoped.

She looked down at the newspaper in her hands, a quote from him while his moving pictures yelled at her face in bold words: “You’re still never getting rid of me. I’ll be back. Till death do us part.”

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lordofangst · 4 years