lore-olympus-nine-nine - Tumblr blog

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*Artemis comes into a TGOEM Meeting*

Artemis: ...and my new partner, a tarantula. I call him Artemis Jr., aka Spidey Klum, aka Mrs. Doubtspider, aka Joe Spiden, aka Tarantula Basset, aka Spi-dermot Mulrooney.

Persphone: Aka Tarantulina Jolie.

Artemis: What? No, Persphone, have you seen this spider? That's a terrible name.

Persphone: Sorry.

Hestia: Why do you have that thing?

Artemis: Because they were gonna throw him away, but I couldn't do that to my furry little... ah! He's actually really scary up close.

Athena: It's horrifying from everywhere. Athena hates creepy crawlers.

Persphone: Seriously, I'm not going to your apartment if that thing is there.

Artemis: All right, fine, then he'll just live here and help me solve crimes. Get used to him, everyone, 'cause me and this spider are partners for life. He's gone. I left the cage unlocked, and he's gone.

Athena: Somebody find him!

Persphone: Stay off the ground!

Hestia: I'm good.

Athena: I'm out of here.

Artemis: He couldn't have gone far... Unless he can fly. Can tarantulas fly?

Athena: Artemis, you better find that spider. And I'm not coming back here until you do.

Artemis: Uh, Athena, I think I found it.

Persphone: [Gasps]

Athena: Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. It's on my head!

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I love Brooklyn 99, I love Lore Olympus. I didn't know this existed and now that I do I never knew I needed something so badly in my life. Thank you for this gift.

You’re too kind ☺️

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Hades loves gift-giving.

Hades: You all get something, so fire away.

Hermes: Hades, your friendship is gift enough for me.

Hecate: Friendship is crap. I want a Ducati Monster 821.

Hades: All right, Hecate gets a motorcycle.

Persephone: Oh, cool. I want a fast sports car!

Hades: Come on. You can be honest.

Persephone: I want old, expensive books. I'll send you a list.

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*next panel immediately jumps to them in bed together*

Hades: So... we broke a rule.

Hades and Persephone set some ground rules for their relationship.

Hades: Rule number 3. Let's not have sex right away.

Persephone:

Persephone: Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool. No doubt, no doubt, no doubt. Good rule. No sex. Good rule.

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Hades: Everyone, since Hecate’s briefing was cut short, you can all use this time to clean up your desks. Look at this place! Half-eaten food, crumpled tissues, pictures of your families.

Thanatos: What's wrong with pictures?

Hades: If you love someone, you'll remember what they look like.

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On dealing with Demeter:

Hades: We can deal with this. We just need a new plan.

Persephone: I got it. We lie, tell her we broke up, then date in secret.

Hades: Great! And you'd be okay lying to your mother?

Persephone: Okay, new plan.

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No context Zeus

Zeus: I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying!

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Someone finds Hades and Persephone in the supply closet when they were supposed to be working.

Thanatos: You’ve been down here for two hours! What, did you have sex forty times??

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Lore Olympus episode 100 spoilers with no context

Ares: Who are we killing? I won’t do kids, that’s a rule. But rule’s negotiable if the kid’s a dick.

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Hestia: I don't know why you have an issue with this. Artemis was happy to take a vow of chastity.

Persephone: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Artemis does? I mean, what if she jumped off a cliff?

Hestia: If Artemis were to jump off a cliff, she would've done her due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Artemis jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Persephone: You jump off a cliff.

Hestia: Gladly. Provided Artemis did first.

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Persephone goes on a date.

Eros: Just promise me you won't use the condoms in the secret pocket of your purse, okay? They're expired.

Persephone: How do you know what's in my purse?

Eros: I needed concealer for a zit!

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@incorrect-lore-olympus

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Persephone: Aphrodite, can I talk to you for a second?

Aphrodite: Yeah, what's up? Let me guess, you and Hades are having problems; you want me to teach you how to kiss?

Persephone: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss, I've read books.

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Hades visits Demeter’s office.

Demeter: Care to sit? I’m sure you’d love to take some weight off your cloven hooves.

Hades: Calling me the devil, Demeter? How original.

Demeter: Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.

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Persephone: Artemis, since I’m moving out, I'd like to make a toast. Bye.

Artemis: Oh, my gods. That was perfect.