lowlifespender

[lowlifespender]

I know I said on the notes that I would update tomorrow, but I didn't have time to even open my docs since then... Hopefully I will have a bit more time this week, so next update would be this or next week.

See you guys <3

Chapter 6 is up!

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"Why would you buy new clothes if you don't even appreciate them?” He pondered. Nikolai threw a jacket in the chair, sending the dust flying.

Fyodor sneezed hard. “Then do it in the dressing room.”

“But you are not there! Do you want me to talk to a wall or to a maid? We both know that would create rumours.” He smiled cheekily, already knowing he won the debate.

Fyodor lowered his pen and pushed his hair back. “You don't know how to keep yourself busy, don't you?”

“Oh, I’m fine on my own, too. I just enjoy having an audience, even if it's some grumpy person whose favourite animals are rats.” Nikolai pushed the last word out with a clear lack of comprehension of Fyodor’s likes.

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Description:

Fyodor Dostoevsky: an intelligent but oddly unsociable gentleman who had returned to Russia after inheriting a great fortune. His plans are easy - make the world pure again.

Full fic here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/68642081/chapters/177741176

[lowlifespender]

Chapter 6 is up!

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"Why would you buy new clothes if you don't even appreciate them?” He pondered. Nikolai threw a jacket in the chair, sending the dust flying.

Fyodor sneezed hard. “Then do it in the dressing room.”

“But you are not there! Do you want me to talk to a wall or to a maid? We both know that would create rumours.” He smiled cheekily, already knowing he won the debate.

Fyodor lowered his pen and pushed his hair back. “You don't know how to keep yourself busy, don't you?”

“Oh, I’m fine on my own, too. I just enjoy having an audience, even if it's some grumpy person whose favourite animals are rats.” Nikolai pushed the last word out with a clear lack of comprehension of Fyodor’s likes.

⋆⁺₊⋆ ━━━━⊱༒︎ • ༒︎⊰━━━━ ⋆⁺₊⋆

Description:

Fyodor Dostoevsky: an intelligent but oddly unsociable gentleman who had returned to Russia after inheriting a great fortune. His plans are easy - make the world pure again.

Full fic here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/68642081/chapters/177741176

[lowlifespender]

IF THIS WOULD BECOME REAL I WOULD CRY

But it's actually really really interesting<3

So what if Fyodor and Nikolai are actually connected some way? They were friends way back in the past and they both wanted to write a story together which actually comes to life as bits of the main story currently because Fyodor unknowingly had "the book" but they were never able to finish the story they once started?? Fyodor goes on and Nikolai reincarnates as his character from their story later in the main story.

(I'm coping so hard! I want Nikolai to come back in the manga! Might come back to this! Maybe! Don't know if it makes sense but thanks for entertaining my ramblings! :) )

Art below from pinterest used as reference for one of my drawings above! Credits to the artist and their work!! ✨

[lowlifespender]

old art

[lowlifespender]

Chapter 5 is on Ao3!

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“I suppose you don't know much about it, but the Tsar is holding a late debutante ball and your name has been getting popular lately.”

Fyodor raised a brow. This was going in a direction he didn't want to…

“And you are invited to it.”

Fyodor sighed. Nikolai went crazy.

“We are going to a ball, Fedya?!” Nikolai chirped with puppy eyes.

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Description:

Fyodor Dostoevsky: an intelligent but oddly unsociable gentleman who had returned to Russia after inheriting a great fortune. His plans are easy - make the world pure again.

Too bad for him, he is possessed by a devil and the world doesn't agree with him.

Full fic here:

[lowlifespender]

Damn bro once you are done def tell me!!

Btw all my knowledge is because I'm a huge fan of Alyosha from The Brothers Karamazov, not bc I am Russian Orthodox.

(but you had gotten a lot of good infos already!)

So, there is a huge difference between Orthodox and Catholic church: they don't accept the pope, but they have a patriarch. They don't believe that the patriarch is infallible. They also believe that the Holy Spirit is only from the Father.

As for their prayers. They make crosses a lot. Like whenever a specific name is mentioned, they cross. There is a whole list of words and names when they do it, but idk it from my head.

They also pray more to Saints than the Catholics afaik, and they have a calendar for which day which Saint. Instead of a rosary they have a prayer rope. (But I'm confused as they could pray for a rosary too?? So idk) I only know abt the rosary, but that's meant to be prayed every day: either five secrets a day (takes around 20-30 mins) or every secret every day (prob an hour or so). A rope is used for the Jesus Prayer. These are to track the number of prayers, because they would meditate over the thoughts of the prayer/imagery.

But as of priests, they can be married as long as it's a first marriage for both parties and they had been married before becoming a priest. Monks can't marry. If a priest is also a monk, it's called a hieromonk.

I have no idea over the hierarchy of the monks, the only thing I know is that the more text they have on their robe, the higher their position is.

Liturgies depend on how big the church is, but they sing often. I believe that a priest would overall start early, to get ahead of the daily prayers, then would keep the liturgies, listen to the people, etc. If someone dies, then a priest is expected to appear on the deathbed.

And that's all I knew <3

I started writing a Fyolai fanfiction I guess ?

tw : mentions of drvgs, religious trauma and blasphemy welp. after I fought against an addiction to ai chatbots (and won !!), i decided it was time for me to write the fanfiction that had been living rent free in my head for months now. problem is, in this fic, Fyodor is an orthodox priest. i'm an atheist. i LOVE religious symbolism, especially in fyolai, especially when it's twisted and very 'ew', but i don't know anything about orthodox priests. i need to know stuff about their lifestyles, where they live, all that, but every damn website tells me something different. i've been at it for an hour and a half now and i wrote max 200 words, which is very little for that amount of time and every. single. word. seems. wrong. i swear to god (unexpected pun ?), my search history must think i'm a strange lil thingy. "where do orthodox priests live ?" "hierarchy in the orthodox church" "how to become an orthodox priest ?" "hardcore psych0trope drVgs" "how is an orthodox priest's day ?" (the part about psychs is in the story too, i promise, like, Fyodor's whole character is a traumatized homosexual junkie priest. i have the whole traumatized, homosexual and junkie thing figured out, but priest ? i thought i did but i was oh so wrong)

anyways, if you want to read a kind of poetic kind of (very) graphic fanfic where a very unorthodox orthodox priest and a gay stripper who fancies birds and c0ca1ne a little too much are secretely dating and being very gay and going through traumatic flashbacks and religious psychosi- oops, revealed a bit too much, basically, if you wanna read that and you know anything about orthodox priests, PLEASE TELL ME. I'M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE.

[lowlifespender]

Chapter 4 is up!

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He looked up and down at the man.

Nikolai’s spare clothing that Fyodor had given him was dripping wet, his cheeks rosy, and his boots left a muddy trail behind. As he came closer, Fyodor could smell the cheap perfumes that the fallen woman used in the suburbs.

“What did you do?”

“I made food for you!” He beamed, holding up the tray. The plate almost slipped from it.

“I meant where had you been.” His voice was getting worse; maybe he should refrain from speaking much.

“Nothing particular, just visited a friend. Didn't try to murder anyone, per se.”

Fyodor turned his head around. The pillows were disorganised, with one having a hole very similar to the form of a head.

“Did you really try to suffocate me while I was asleep?”

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Full fic here:

[lowlifespender]

New chapter is out!!

BSD 19th Century AU

I'm working on a longer fic, centered mostly on Fyodor & Nikolai set in 19th century Russia. It has heavy themes of religion, politics and etc.

If you are interested:

I appreciate feedback a lot and I'm still searching for beta readers! 🙏

[lowlifespender]

rotten fyolai appletrend

i made my version of this art trend with fyolai!

[lowlifespender]

BSD 19th Century AU

I'm working on a longer fic, centered mostly on Fyodor & Nikolai set in 19th century Russia. It has heavy themes of religion, politics and etc.

If you are interested:

I appreciate feedback a lot and I'm still searching for beta readers! 🙏

[lowlifespender]

My daily routine to not have a single thought:

I go on Instagram, BOOM! Fandom 1

I go on Tumblr, BOOM! Fandom 2

I go on Pinterest, BOOM! Fandom 3

I go on X, BOOM! Fandom 4

Beauty sleep.

Wake up and repeat.

[lowlifespender]

Still in the void 🌌

Looking for a beta reader for a BSD Histroical AU fic

Hi! I'm working on a longer fic, centered mostly on Fyodor&Nikolai set in 19th century Russia.

It's a slowburn fic, heavily inspired by the Russian Realism and has a heavy tone, with a focus on history, politics and religion.

I’m looking for a beta who can help me with:

-Sentence flow/readability (English isn’t my first language)

-Pacing/clarity in character scenes

The fic is not finished, but I have about 10k words done and would like feedback on early chapters before I continue.

If you are into this, please help me🙏

[lowlifespender]

i need to see a httyd crossover with them

redrew this screenshot I have that makes Ajaw look like a smug cat.

[lowlifespender]

Looking for a beta reader for a BSD Histroical AU fic

Hi! I'm working on a longer fic, centered mostly on Fyodor&Nikolai set in 19th century Russia.

It's a slowburn fic, heavily inspired by the Russian Realism and has a heavy tone, with a focus on history, politics and religion.

I’m looking for a beta who can help me with:

-Sentence flow/readability (English isn’t my first language)

-Pacing/clarity in character scenes

The fic is not finished, but I have about 10k words done and would like feedback on early chapters before I continue.

If you are into this, please help me🙏

[lowlifespender]

Looking for a beta reader for a BSD Histroical AU fic

Hi! I'm working on a longer fic, centered mostly on Fyodor&Nikolai set in 19th century Russia.

It's a slowburn fic, heavily inspired by the Russian Realism and has a heavy tone, with a focus on history, politics and religion.

I’m looking for a beta who can help me with:

-Sentence flow/readability (English isn’t my first language)

-Pacing/clarity in character scenes

The fic is not finished, but I have about 10k words done and would like feedback on early chapters before I continue.

If you are into this, please help me🙏

[lowlifespender]

It's been on my mind that Kinich's reaction to his father's death isn't...corrected is maybe the best word.

Normally when these characters stories emphasise a strong emotion or belief about something, it's either setting up an important moment later, in another character story, that defined some aspect of their present day mindset or life, or that strongly emphasised thought/belief WAS the defined part if them that we see in action in the present.

For example, Xilonen has a CS that spends a lot of the word count on how little she thinks of legends and stories, but a later one is dedicated to what changed her mind on them at least a little, what opened her up to their value.

My point is that one CS ends with us being told very clearly how Kinich struggled not to cry over the loss of the man responsible for everything wrong with his life, a childhood of pain and fear and loss, and then we never get a moment where he feels differently about the incident or the man himself in hindsight. And well...with the pattern previously set up, the thought won't leave me that that could mean he still feels the same way?

In fact, the line in his tribal quest about what price actually means feels like it reveals more about him with this in mind, does he still feel that his safety came at the cost of being alone? That for him to not be in that horrific situation he had to lose something, and that something was the only other person he'd really ever interacted with than the mother who chose to leave them both behind?

There's not really an emphasis on prices and costs before that happens, is how he felt about his dad's death actually the lynchpin of that philosophy that we see him working off of when he starts interacting with the tribe on his own? This core part of his identity, that even earned him his Ancient Name and led to the contract with Ajaw and everything, does it all come back to how he rationalised the accident that killed his dad? He was in pain about it, but also clearly aware of his sudden freedom from the man's torment, and that's a hell of a lot for a just-7-year-old who's been so isolated and unexposed to a lot of intangible concepts that would have been taught at the school and via legends.

I'm just...I can't stop thinking about it. This prices thing defines him so strongly, way more in-your-face than any other Ancient Name Bearer and with an affect on nearly every aspect of his life from his job to his relationship with his tribe to his dynamic with his Archon. And it may have come from a coping mechanism, one that binds those confusing and upsetting feelings to him forever. He decided that he had to accept the loss as "what he was willing to lose" in exchange for freedom and that's how he moved on, which means he can't, like, just accept it as an accident that he never asked for. There's a sense of misplaced responsibility if you combine how he felt at the end of that CS and what he believes by the present, and I can't get it out of my head...

[lowlifespender]

About me

I thought that maybe I should make an introduction as not everyone knows me (I'm a celebrity, I swear). You may know me as Lowlifespender on Ao3.

My fics:

Comission: Friendship [a Genshin Kinilani fic, with a lot of fluff] - Completed!

A quick (foolproof) guide on teambuilding [a BSD crackfic that grew way too long] - Completed!

Devil in Your Heart [Fyolai 19th century AU, heavily inspired by literature] - Ongoing

Please note, that I'm not a native English speaker and I had started writing for

a) because the voices said so,

b) to keep up my level.

As such, I am always in a need of betas, who would stop me from using commas left and right.

More about me: I'm an avid reader, kind of obsessed with the 19th century altogether, and I do love and understand Maths.

The profile picture is Qifrey from Witch Hat Atelier by Kamone Shirohama.

If you have any suggestions or questions, feel free to ask ;)