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You will join a safe writing community where you can just chit-chat, bounce ideas off of one another, share and discuss your writing and art, and ramble as much as you want about your WIP. If you want, you can also stream your favourite writing music or stream yourself writing in real time. You can also help us come up with fun writing prompts and challenges, give us feedback, and suggest changes.

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first base is ripping each other's throats out second base is fucking and then pretending it didn't happen after it's over. third base is falling unconscious from blood loss in the other's arms

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Weirdly Healing Things to Do When You’re Feeling Creatively Burned Out...

Write a fake 5-star Goodreads review of your WIP—as if you didn’t write it. Go ahead. Pretend you're a giddy reader who just discovered this masterpiece. Bonus: add emojis, chaotic metaphors, and all-caps screaming. It’s self-indulgent. It’s delusional. It’s delicious.

Give your main character a Pinterest board titled “Mentally Unstable but Aesthetic.” Include outfits, quotes, memes, cursed objects, and that one painting that haunts their dreams. This is not about logic. This is about ✨vibes.✨

Make a “deleted scenes” folder and write something that would never make it into the book. A crackfic. A “what if they were roommates” AU. The group chat from hell. This is your WIP’s blooper reel. Let it be silly, chaotic, or wildly off-brand.

Interview your villain like you’re Oprah. Ask the hard-hitting questions. “When did you know you were the drama?” “Do you regret the murder, or just the way you did it?” Bonus points if they lie to your face.

Host a fake awards show for your characters. Categories like “Most Likely to Die for Vibes,” “Worst Emotional Regulation,” “Himbo Energy Supreme,” or “Best Use of a Dramatic Exit.” Write their acceptance speeches. Yes, this counts as writing.

Write a breakup letter… to your inner critic. Be petty. Be dramatic. “Dear Self-Doubt, this isn’t working for me anymore. You bring nothing to the table but anxiety and bad vibes.” Rip it up. Burn it. Tape it to your mirror. Your call.

Create a “writing comfort kit” like you’re a cozy witch. A candle that smells like your WIP. A tea that your characters would drink. A playlist labeled “for writing when I’m one rejection email away from giving up.” This is a ritual now.

Design a fake movie poster or book cover like your story is already famous. Add star ratings, critic quotes, and some pretentious tagline like “One soul. One destiny. No chill.”

Write a scene you’re not ready to write—but just a rough, messy outline version. Not the polished thing. Just the raw emotion. The shape of it. Like sketching the bones of a future punch to the gut. You don’t have to make it perfect. Just open the door.

Let your story be bad on purpose for a day. Like, aggressively bad. Give everyone ridiculous names. Add an evil talking cat. Write a fight scene with laser swords and emotional damage. Just remind yourself that stories are meant to be played with, not feared.

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Iron God Chapter 68 [Ami]

In the weeks following her second ascension, Ami drowned in life. It was no small thing to feel again after so many years sapped dry by Valielit. She still felt as if she hardly had time or energy to process any of it, not with nearly everyone needing her help.

She let herself into the girls’ room and found them just as unnaturally silent as they’d been since the attack. Kolo sat up on her bed, white hair unkempt and blanket hanging loosely around her shoulders. She acknowledged Ami with only a brief glance. Lalek was asleep, shivering despite her blanket and the rooms’ warmth.

After a moment, Channei turned the desk chair to face Ami. “Hey. I got Kolo to eat earlier but Lalek still won’t.”

Ami nodded. “And yourself?”

“I’m fine,” Channei insisted.

“Mm-hm.” Ami cast a long, deliberate look at the bowl of untouched stew on the desk. “Well, Azvalath and I worked hard on that, so eat up.”

That caught Kolo’s attention. “How is Aza?”

“A little outta’ sorts, but who isn’t right now?” Ami went over and sat at the end of Kolo’s bed. “How about you? How’re you feeling today?”

Kolo stretched her arms out. “I feel like there are a million stinging little bugs under my skin.”

Ami took out her notebook and scribbled that down. “Any new pain?”

She shook her head.

“And mentally?” Ami asked.

Kolo raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

Ami leaned closer and softened her tone. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

Kolo backed up. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

“Well, considering what happened…” Ami pursed her lips. “It would be a first.”

Kolo turned away from her, shoulders tensed. She’d insisted day after day that she didn’t feel much different from before, and indeed, there was no physical sign to indicate otherwise. But Ami couldn’t fully believe that, not with what she’d already seen time and time again.

Monitor closely. She underlined those two words and moved on to Lalek.

Lalek’s eyes cracked open as Ami approached. She was shivering and sweating through her blanket, and her skin was deathly pale.

“Hey.” Ami pulled the blanket back. “Heard you didn’t eat. Is it still hard to swallow?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice came out a thin croak. Her hand drifted up to claw at her bandaged neck.

Ami grabbed her wrist. “Don’t mess with it, dear.”

Lalek wiped her mouth with her other hand. “Sorry.”

“Hey, I just don’t want you tearing your stitches.” Ami dropped her tote next to Lalek’s bed. “I’ll check ‘em while I change your bandages, all right?”

“Yeah.” Lalek’s voice was still weak and breathy. She winced as Ami started to unwrap the bandages, but made a clear effort to stay as still as she could.

The sound of Channei sobbing made them both pause.

Ami tried to focus only on the task at hand, but it soon became impossible, and she snapped. “Channei, that’s enough.”

“I’m still not mad at you,” Lalek added, with all the volume she could muster. “Please believe me.”

Ami shuddered as she exposed the wound. Channei’s jaws with some animal’s teeth had ripped Lalek’s throat open, only sparing her life by sheer dumb luck or maybe some tiny fragment of Channei’s mind that had resisted Valielit. The stitches still held, but the skin around them was so red and angry it still looked like an open wound.

“How bad is it?” Lalek choked out.

Ami pursed her lips. “Hard to know right now.” It was a lie, of course. Lalek would be lucky to survive with permanent damage. But she couldn’t say that out loud, not now.

“Lalek’s never going to get better and it’ll have been my fault, right?” Channei snarled from across the room. “Right, Ami?”

Ami ignored her and rebandaged the wound. Lalek once again tried her best to stay still, but her face bore a clear grimace. She could understand Channei’s upset, but it wouldn’t help anything. She’d have to ignore it.

“Channei, you know that isn’t true.” Kolo stood up. “It wasn’t you, not really.”

“But that monster, she used me!” Channei slammed her fist into the desk. “She made me do things I would never do. She made me helpless. It was…”

“It was the most intimate and personal violation you’ve ever known.” Ami made eye contact with Channei and stated bluntly what they both knew. “I get it.”

Everyone’s eyes were on her, then.

“I put up with it for all that time first because I thought I could help her.” Ami shook her head. “By the time I realized there wasn’t even a person under that cute facade, I still figured it was better if it were me getting whittled down instead of someone else.”

Kolo grumbled. “Fuck that.”

Ami jolted. “What?”

“Fuck that!” Kolo threw her blanket off. “Did it save anyone at the end of the day?”

“You’re all still alive.” Ami’s brow tensed in a scowl. “Which is a shock, but I’ll take it.” She gathered up the old bandages and sniffed them. The smells of blood, sweat, fear, and an unwelcome growth tangled together in her nostrils. “Hmm, have you ever considered what horrid havoc some living things can unleash without you even knowing their existence?”

The question seemed to catch Kolo by enough surprise that her tone softened. “Huh?”

“Kolo, if you want everyone to stay alive, you’ve gotta focus your nerves where it matters.” She gave Lalek’s arm a pat and leaned in to whisper. “You know what I think?”

Lalek cracked one eye back open.

Ami dropped her voice even quieter. “I think your roommates have even worse manners than me.”

That elicited a wheezing giggle.

“I’ll be back this evening. I’ve got three instructions for you ‘til then.” Ami spoke a little louder so everyone could hear. “First, let me know immediately if there’s a new problem.”

Lalek nodded. Channei gave a thumbs-up. Kolo rolled her eyes.

“Second, Lalek, I know it hurts to swallow, but I need you to try your best to eat and drink on your own.” She sighed. “I don’t want to have to force you.”

“Yeah,” Lalek choked out. Her eyelids fluttered.

“Last, and critically,” Ami stood up and addressed all of them. “If I come back to find this room on fire, I’m roasting you over it for supper.”

The girls’ tension snapped like a rope pulled too taut. All three of them burst out in wild laughter. Ami caught herself chuckling too, in a way that felt warmer than anything had in ages. With that, she gathered up her things and left.

Once outside the room, she took another whiff of Lalek’s discarded bandages. When the unwelcome growth whispered back, her heart beat faster. She gleaned its taste for decay and its dislike of sharing. Another sniff and she knew its urge to spread, to conquer, and its fear of mold.

The last bit took her by surprise to hear again. Since her second ascension, she’d learned it from many an imperceptibly tiny thing, that a simple food-spoiling mold was to them what Kaosaan was to the minds of Ferash Therall.

Ami carried on with a slight bounce in her step, and she couldn’t resist asking what this pest knew of Kaosaan.

When she didn’t get any satisfying answer, her eyebrows furrowed. When it returned the question, she withheld all she knew and willed herself to focus. Find the invader’s enemy and snatch up its weapons to save Lalek. That was all that mattered.

Her eyes watered again. Irritated, she wiped them dry.

“Since when were you the one in control?”

At first, she thought the voice was in her head. Maybe some lingering nightmare of her treasured, hated Magpie. But when the voice carried on, she stopped near Xigon’s closed door to eavesdrop.

“Don’t forget where we came from, child.” The old woman’s voice dripped with vitriol. “I’ve treated you as my equal, but I don’t need to keep doing that if you don’t keep our promises.”

Ami backed into the wall. She’d never heard such chilling cruelty in anyone’s words, much less Qila’s.

“Do you understand, Xigon?”

Silence.

“Good.”

Ami tiptoed back a ways and timed her steps carefully, to make it look like she was just arriving as Qila stepped out of Xigon’s study. She reflected the old woman’s warm smile back at her. “Master Qila, hello.”

“Hello, Ami.” Qila waved. “You’re looking well. I’m glad to see it.”

“Me too.” Ami chuckled. “Ah, don’t let me keep you. You must be busy.”

Much to Ami’s relief, Qila nodded and left.

Ami clutched her stomach as it lurched with dread.

She tried again to focus her thoughts only on what mattered, but she rapidly found more than one thing mattered. And before she could protest, she caught herself shoving her way into Xigon’s study.

He sat at his desk, still and quiet, only a slight stiffness in his shoulders betraying any sensation. His eyes darted toward her, then back down.

“I have an idea for how to proceed with Lalek’s treatment,” she told him. “Kolo appears largely unaffected still.”

There was a slight twitch in his fingers. “You’re certain of that?”

“As far as I’ve observed.” Ami let out a sigh. “Master, what just happened?”

He straightened and turned to face her. Then she saw the thin red cut splitting his right eyebrow.

Ami took a deep breath. “Did Qila do that?”

Xigon’s expression stayed flat.

“Well, anyway, I…” Ami scratched her cheek. “Sorry. I don’t understand how it doesn’t hurt you at all.”

He blinked. “It does hurt.”

That rare candid admission was such a sharp blow that Ami’s eyes watered again.

Xigon leaned his elbows into his knees. “Don’t cry for me, Ami.”

“I’ve been bound up long enough, Master.” Ami wiped her eyes, seething. “I’ll cry if I damn well feel like it.”

She drowned in the flood of feeling until he wrapped his arms around her. It was a shock, how different his embrace was from Magpie’s. Not controlling her thoughts, only giving her refuge.

After a moment, he released her. “Your report on Lalek, please.”

The flatness of his tone made her erupt laughing even faster than she’d been moved to tears before. The growing pains of an untethered mind, how odd. “I’m concerned that she still has so much trouble swallowing.”

Xigon’s hand drifted up toward his own neck and he grimaced slightly, as if he were imagining himself in Lalek’s place. “Let me know next time you’re going to see her. I’ll come with you.”

Ami nodded. “You know her better, anyway.” She looked at Xigon’s cluttered desk. “You’re still reading that same old scrap-stack?”

With a slight spark in his eyes, he pulled the book closer to him. “Not quite the same, no.” He opened it and turned to the text’s last pages. “Can you read this, Ami?”

Ami squinted down at the page. Though she recognized the markings on the parchment as writing, it wasn’t in any language or structure she recognized. “Nope, can’t read a word.”

“That’s quite interesting.” He underlined a passage with his finger. “Because until very recently, I couldn’t read it either.”

Ami cocked her head. “Well, you mind reading me the first page, at least?

His fingers trembled over the page just long enough for Ami to notice, then he spoke in a tremulous voice. “Beneath, I saw. Beyond, within, with all wisdom and without reason. What the ghost-pipe whispers to the greenery withering above — receive these blessings, small one, and Her way is yours.”

Xigon locked eyes with her, then, and his gaze chilled her every nerve. “The first Sacrament She bestows is of the Sight. The hunters need no longer stalk nor lure, for their Sight draws them now from the deepest recesses,” he recited, clearly from memory. “Dread and death imminent shall compel the blessed, to dream only of the coming feast.”

Ami’s jaw clenched.

“It’s an odd thing to call the likes of us, is it not?” Xigon leaned back. “Blessed.”

Blessed.

Like it was some kind of gift.

“This was what Kiiri spent her last days writing. But it wasn’t a story of something old or something she made up.” He turned to the very last page, to an image of Kaosaan’s ravenous maw.

“This must be how she imagined everything comes undone.”

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 67 [Xigon]

Frenzied with the draw of an imperiled soul – of prey, he now knew –  Xigon had no more concern for himself. Even as his hands shook and his heart raced, he kept his focus. His body’s panic was a mere reflex, nothing worth holding him back. 

Then Kolo wrested the Rager dart from his fingers and jabbed it into her own neck.

It was as if the ground fell out from under him. Xigon threw himself down to Kolo’s side and tried to grab the dart back, but the damage was already done. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Cold sweat washed over him. This couldn’t be happening. 

It should have been him. Xigon was used to the worst. He could handle it, very well deserved it even. Kolo, however, there was no reason she should have —

No. Kolo was doing exactly what he would have done.

Nothing like a mirror to show something’s truly hideous, Qila used to say. 

He hunched forward, feeling heavy all of a sudden. The draw of prey tightened, Kaosaan’s breaths as hot and frantic as his own. He tensed every muscle and refused to move, refused to look away from Kolo as she finished what he had started.

Kolo’s fingers glowed fiercely white as she wrapped them around what remained of Valielit’s jaw, tipping the monster’s head up to meet her eyes. The girl’s expression wasn’t one of rage or passion, but of stone-cold focus. 

The creature tried to squirm away, but she held it firm and stared straight into its remaining eye. White flames and black ink curled around its mangled limbs. And it screamed.

In all his battles, had he ever heard a scream like that? 

The worst part was, when the abomination ceased to exist, the cry didn’t fall silent. It became Kolo’s. 

The blaze and the dark tendrils vanished with all traces of Valielit. Eternity burned up in barely a blink, without even a split second’s quiet.

Kolo crumpled to the floor, weeping bloody tears as she clawed at her own fiery eyes. She took a huge gasping breath and hazarded a look at Xigon.

“I want to go home!” Her voice came out warped, sounding half like her own and half like Vraelen’s. “Please, please…”

Xigon blinked away tears of his own. “You are home.” 

Empty words. He knew these halls could never feel safe again for anyone. Just as Qila’s embrace could never soothe him again. 

“I don’t want to die.” Kolo backed away from him. “Please, I can’t…I can’t…!”

Her words shocked him, a cruel echo. They shared this curse now. He kept his eyes on her even though it felt like staring at the sun. He felt he had no right to look away. 

Her pupils dilated and her whole body shuddered as he retrieved his crutches. Straining, he stood up. She flinched back and threw her fists up. “Stop!”

“Kolo.” He looked down at her small, trembling form. “Why?”

“Why what?” Her voice distorted more as she snarled at him. 

“I was going to take it!” He snapped, startled at his own emotion. “If you’d let me, I would have—”

“ —not stopped with Valielit.” Kolo cut him off. She took a huge strangled breath and half-laughed, half-sobbed. “And you’re gonna lose me now too, aren’t you? How does that feel?” 

As she spoke, his pulse quickened with the draw of looming death. Xigon swallowed hard, nausea dredging a pit in his stomach. “Kolo, the Rager.” He scorned the tremor in his own voice. “You have to destroy it.”

“Why should I?” Kolo backed into a corner and sat down. Her heat was still white-hot, but flickering now. “Maybe I want to disappear.”

Xigon came to her side and crouched down to her level. “If that’s true, why are you afraid?” 

“You should know.” Her head snapped toward him, and for a moment he felt he wasn’t being judged by Kolo alone. “Because you’re here.”

“Kolo, listen to me.” He softened his tone back into the illusion of calm. “I won’t tell you you’re wrong to feel whatever you do, but I’ll urge you not to repeat my failures.”

Her eyes glazed a little. He caught the back of her head as it lolled back, jarring her back toward consciousness. She gasped.

“And I’ll urge you not to let me remain the one in control,” he pressed. 

Kolo’s chin sank toward her chest, each breath she took a clear struggle. “What?”

There. He’d found the key. 

“There may come a day when I can’t block Kaosaan’s wisdom out any longer.” Xigon leaned down to whisper. “And I’ll need you to do what the Iron God can’t. Remember?”

She gave a barely discernible nod and choked out that she would try. Then she fell silent and crumpled against him. He caught her and pulled her into a tight embrace. Her eyes flashed purple, almost white, then squeezed shut as she fought an impossible battle.

Holding her, it ached how small she was.

His body screamed with pain as he lifted her up. Each step toward the kitchen door threatened to be his last. For her sake, he tried to endure it. He didn’t have much of a choice.

Xigon only made it as far as the hallway before folding to his knees. He sat there with her, offering what meager pain relief he could through his touch. He wished he could do more. She’d done so much for them. It wasn’t fair.

He waited for what felt like hours, but might have only been a few minutes, until someone else found them.

He looked up and Ami stood there, her soul now fully and impossibly bright. Xigon choked back a sob. Had that glow always been there, and so radiant under all that rot?

Ami adjusted her lichen-crusted hat and knelt down to Kolo’s side. “Thank you, Kolo. I’ll never know how to repay you.” She stroked the girl’s white hair. “Just come back to us when you’re done, all right? Come right back and we’ll be waiting.”

Ami’s eyes watered as she turned her gaze to Xigon. “Master.”

Xigon bowed his head. “Ami.”

“I’m sorry.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “For all of it.”

Xigon didn’t respond.

“I’ll take care of Kolo from here,” she choked. “I’ll make sure she lives. It’s the least I can do.”

He let Ami pull Kolo from his arms and watched them leave.

When he realized he could no longer feel the draw of anyone at the edge of death, his relief and exhaustion were so profound he fell asleep right there on the cold floor.

(I can’t, I can’t…)

That cruel echo carried into the dark with him, and for maybe the first time in his life, Xigon was aware of dreaming.

He sat at the edge of an ink-dark sea and dug his hands into eerily luminous sand. It flowed through his fingers, cold as ice.

By his side, the husk of the soul he’d taken stirred slightly. A skeletal hand clawed at his wrist.

“We placed it all on her shoulders, even though she’s so small.” Xigon locked their fingers together. “No wonder this happens. It’s what we deserve.”

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 66 [Kolo]

CW: gore, body horror

 It was as if Ido’s shock had ripped her straight from her body.

Kolo listened, detached and apathetic, to the cacophony of her own screams. That pathetic girl couldn’t really be her. The electric rage couldn’t really be Ido’s. All this was, all it could be, was Valielit’s depraved fantasy.

Oh, Vali…why?

Ido’s grip released and she arched backwards, taking a huge gasp of air. Her limbs convulsed in fiery spasms. She writhed like a beetle on its back. Ido and another body tumbled over her. She heard the boy shriek in a voice that wasn’t his own, only for his new assailant to slam his head against the floor hard enough to silence him.

Kolo sat up and fought to catch her breath. Her vision swam; she couldn’t discern who was in front of her. Not that she might have believed her eyes in any case.

The voice was one that made her heart leap. “Kolo, are you all right?”

“Channei!” Kolo slumped with relief. “She didn’t get you, did she?”

Channei shook her head and glared tearfully at the still-stunned Ido. “That beast!” She stamped her boot into the wall. “I always thought Magpie was strange, but…what the actual fuck? How could she do this to him?” Her voice rose to a shriek. “When is enough enough?!”

Channei’s tears dripped onto the floor beside Kolo.

“She didn’t start with him.” Kolo swallowed the lump in her throat. “And she won’t end with him either. It’s me she’s after, I’ll bet.”

Channei crouched down to her level. “I don’t know what you’re planning, Kolo, but…” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Fuck, I can’t lose you.”

“I’m sorry you got caught up in this.” Kolo gave her a sad smile. “But Valielit won’t be the end of us. I won’t let her.”

“Then I’m coming with you.” Channei’s hands clenched into fists. “And you can’t stop me, you hear me? I’m not laying you out for the gravebirds. Besides, that bitch had the guts to mess with Ido on my watch.”

The look in Channei’s eyes, that conviction to burn to ashes right along with her – it wasn’t something Kolo could bear to refuse. Her smile widened, though still grim. “I expected nothing less.”

“Wait, you’re letting me?” Channei’s voice quieted.

Kolo nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

Straining, she pulled herself up and leaned against the wall. Valielit wouldn’t make this easy, of course. She’d never been one to play fair.

A sliver of some lost time poked through, where she and Vali had played hide-and-seek in the forest around their village, back when nothing meant anything bigger. She winced.

“Hey, what’s this?” Channei ran several strides ahead and pointed down at a dark splatter on the floor.

Kolo came to look. It was fresh blood, still slick and creeping across the stone. Hand and footprints of a similar hue led onward from the spot. It was a gruesome sight, but Kolo couldn’t shake the thought that it was purposeful. Like Valielit was marking a trail for her.

Her eyes followed the stains as they crept up and along the wall. She stopped where a bloody handprint snatched the image of her eagle.

A handprint that looked different from the rest.

Kolo’s stomach turned. She looked at Channei and grew rigid. “Whose blood is this?”

“I think it’s Magpie’s?” Channei didn’t sound entirely certain. “I mean, I haven’t seen—”

“Makes sense she wouldn’t want to show herself, then.” Kolo looked at the handprints on the floor. “They’re all right handprints except for…”

A left handprint blotted over her eagle.

Her heart froze.

When she turned, Channei’s left hand snatched her by the throat.

“Hi, Kolo.” Channei’s lips pulled back in an unnatural grin. “Sorry. I just couldn’t resist.”

With one look at that smug, horrid smile, Kolo exploded. She grabbed her assailant in every ghost hand she could muster. Tears scalded her blurring vision. She threw the mockery of Channei against the opposite wall with a sickening crack. “Vali, why?!”

Bloody spit ran down Channei’s chin as her voice cackled.

“Vali, whatever I did to you…” Kolo choked. “Whatever I did, whatever I failed to do, whatever I forgot, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Tears spilled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry anyone ever favored me over you. That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”

Channei’s left hand flailed in the air as if it had a mind of its own. Valielit kept laughing through her puppeted body.

“Vali, please.” Kolo fell to her knees. “Just because our grandmother thought you were an abomination doesn’t mean you have to prove her right.”

“You think I still give a damn about any of that?” Valielit’s voice came loud and clear, but not from Channei. It seemed to echo from every direction at once. “You’re overthinking this. I’m hungry; that’s all there is to it.”

Kolo couldn’t tell what was true. Her grip on Channei slipped. Channei’s body lurched toward her. Another voice yelled.

A muscular arm came between them and knocked Channei back.

Lalek locked eyes with Kolo. “I’ll keep them off you. You’ve got to find her before it’s too late.”

Channei’s hands scrambled for Lalek’s throat, but Lalek lifted her head out of reach and pushed Channei to the floor, pinning her down under one foot.

“Kolo, did you hear me?” Lalek’s tone was frantic.

“Are you insane?” Kolo gasped.

“I’m the only one of us still unmarked.” Lalek stared down at the writhing form of Channei. “I’ll make sure they see the other side of this, but only if I can outlast Magpie. And to do that I need someone who knows her best. Got it?”

Lightning flashed down the hall.

Lalek threw an arm out to shove Kolo along. “Hurry!”

Kolo could hardly breathe. She charged blindly. Threw a ghost hand out to trip Ido and buy Lalek some more time. He fell like a doll from a torn pocket. She tried not to look at him.

She still glimpsed his face contorted in a hideous cry. Still saw his hands rush to shield his ears.

Then she heard it. This must have been what Aza and Qila had heard to make them bleed. On some primal level, she recognized the voice of Kaosaan and it made every fiber of her being writhe in horror.

Except it was calling her cousin and goddess.

Forgetting briefly where she was, Kolo fumbled and found a door handle. With hardly a thought she retreated into the room and slammed the door, silencing everything for a blissful instant.

Once her eyes adjusted, she found herself in familiar surroundings again. The kitchen cabinets she could never keep straight almost felt like old friends, as did the counters Qila always fussed about nobody keeping clean enough, even as she herself splatter-painted them with whatever…

Kolo looked over her shoulder. The door was still closed, everything was still quiet, but her gut squirmed.

Hardly daring to move a muscle, she extended a ghost limb to feel around.

Wood. Tile. Something sticky.

Footsteps ran past her out in the hall. Her heart jumped into her throat. She kept feeling around.

A scratched-up cookpot. Old frayed burlap.

Kolo squeezed her eyes shut and tried not to breathe too loud.

A rusty nail sticking out. That one rattly drawer handle. Cups stacked too high. Something wet.

 Breath. Warmth.

…Valielit, drenched in blood.

“There you are.” Kolo’s voice cracked.

Wet, skeletal, claw-like fingers emerged from the cabinet and grasped Kolo’s ghost limb in a macabre greeting. “Hello.”

The floor seemed to wobble beneath her. Kolo sank to her knees, took a huge shuddering breath, and choked out one word. “Why?”

“Why what?” Vali’s grip released, and she emerged fully from the cabinet. The full sight of her made Kolo double over in a heaving wreck.

Valielit’s left arm was completely gone, and her right arm was disintegrated to the point her finger bones jutted out like claws. Her face was fixed in a permanent skeletal grin, skinless jaw panting and salivating like a bloodthirsty hound. Her abdomen was a huge open cavity, spine and lower ribs exposed and glowing purplish. Her legs were mangled beyond recognition.

“Isn’t it beautiful, goddess?” There was a horrible scraping as exposed bone dragged along the tile. “Even when he rends my flesh from existence, my soul is only ever yours.”

Kolo remembered her own body and turned toward the door.

“I wouldn’t try to run away if I were you.” Valielit inched closer, streaking a trail of dark blood. “In fact, I would block that door.”

“Yeah?” Kolo’s jaw clenched. “Why’s that?”

“Can’t you feel it?” Her breath was hot on Kolo’s back. “Your master’s standing on the other side. All I had to give him was Kaosaan’s voice. If you open the door, he’ll do the same thing to you that he did to this flesh I’ve held onto.”

Kolo shook her head. It had to be a bluff. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to try and flee. She’d fled long enough. Instead, she looked straight into the disintegrated smile and asked. “And once your body’s all gone, what then?”

“I take after my sire, that’s what.” Valielit sank into a sitting position, bracing with what remained of her right arm. “Didn’t Grandmother ever tell you that story? I heard it a whole lot.”

Kolo pursed her lips. “No.”

“You know our mamas were sisters. Well, your mama was going to have a baby, and that baby was going to be a little goddess. My mama wanted a special baby too, but all her babies up to that point were born corpses.” Valielit chuckled. “Grandma said my mama got so jealous when her sister was pregnant that she let the Grinner infect a man and then impregnate her to bring me into existence.”

Nausea writhed in Kolo’s gut.

“The Grinner is a scrap of Vraelen’s pure disembodied will. Something about how he tore out his will with his heart, so he couldn’t become like Kaosaan or be destroyed entirely. But just like his heart…” Valielit jabbed a bone-claw into Kolo’s chest. “His will came alive. His will multiplied, his will devoured. It shouldn’t have, but here I am.” She jabbed again, harder. “Ripping Ami apart and sucking her dry was fun, yes, but she’s long since outlived her usefulness. Once my body is gone, I’ll reach the peak of all existence…with you.”

Kolo balled her hands into fists and raised them in a defensive stance.

“Yes, come on.” Valielit leaned closer. “Break me out right now, and I’ll be with you forever.”

Kolo glowered. “Like you were with Ami?”

Valielit’s head jerked to an unnatural angle. “Forever.”

As she hissed that word, one of her eyes rolled in a circle before coming undone. Blood gushed from the now-empty socket, streaking what remained of her cheek in thick dark red.

Kolo took a sharp breath. If she didn’t do anything, Valielit’s body would be completely destroyed soon enough, leaving that will she’d spoken of bare and hazardous. If Kolo tried to fight, it would only exacerbate that outcome.

Fuck. This was impossible.

Kolo curled into herself, pressing her head into her knees, lest Vali see her tears. This thing had crawled its way into what was supposed to be a sanctuary. Channei and Ido were probably ripping Lalek to shreds against their own wills. Azvalath wasn’t dying on the hunt but in the place where he should have been safest. Their masters who’d seemed so immense back then were both helpless now.

Her chest shuddered and she bit her tongue, still trying to stifle her sobs.

It all made her feel so painfully small. Like nothing she’d ever said or done really meant anything.

Would it be so bad to simply let her cousin win? If she could even call this thing her cousin anymore.

What remained of Valielit’s left hand dug into her upper arm, then crept up toward her neck. Crumbling splinters of bone brushed against her skin, scorching to the touch. She flinched.

In another world, she’d made Xigon flinch as he sat falling apart. She’d thrown out some grandiose talk about doing what their god couldn’t.

Wait, why was she thinking about that day now?

Perhaps it was the prickling sensation of his gaze landing on her back as the kitchen door opened. The thuds of his boots and crutches came to a halt right behind her.

When Kolo dared to look up, he let his crutches fall and lifted one hand to cover his eyes. With the other, he reached into his pocket and produced the talisman Kolo had given up.

Kolo’s hand inched ever so slightly toward it. Valielit must have pieced it together already, because her jaw gaped open and let out a howl in a voice far too much like Kaosaan’s.

Kolo fell onto her back, hitting her head as her hands flew to clutch her ears. Xigon moved above her. Her talisman fell to the floor beside her. Valielit cried long and loud like a holf. Xigon’s hand fell away from his eyes for the briefest second. The glimpse she caught was like looking straight at the sun. He covered them again just as quickly before grabbing something else out of his pocket.

“What are you doing?” she yelped.

In his hand was a cartridge of inky liquid.

“Rager, really? Don’t bother with that.” Valielit leaned over Kolo and laughed up at Xigon. “She’s mine no matter what you do.”

Rager?!

Kolo’s eyes blew wide.

She watched Xigon uncover his eyes again, now baring them entirely. They flared a violet-white that chilled her to her core. Far too much power amassed, ready to explode with or without that poison. As he detached the needle from the reservoir, he looked like he’d destroy the whole world right here and now if he could.

In some brighter time, she’d told him that because she’d never asked to be born, she didn’t need anyone’s permission to keep on living. The thing was, Kolo didn’t need it now either.

As Valielit sealed them together, Kolo flung a ghost hand up and snatched the Rager dart from Xigon. And before Valielit could stop her, Kolo stabbed it through her own neck.

She was vaguely aware of motion, of screaming and begging and how could you or something else pointless.

She ignored it all and destroyed without pity. Every last piece, body and soul, she annihilated.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 65 [Xigon]

The eyes of the king-snake follow the Sight, and to the mother-beast hearkens the fragile god.

_______________________________

The spell of Kaosaan's mimicked voice shattered with the excruciating reality of Azvalath crying for his master. As if waking from a dream, Xigon fell back down to his student's side. As painful as it was to see someone he loved in this state, it was also a relief to know he still had enough of a soul to feel anguish.

There was shouting and a crack of lightning somewhere in the distance, but it scarcely registered. The only thing he could see in the dark was Azvalath. Not all of him, though. Only the heat of his clinging life force.

Azvalath reached for him. "Master, please..."

Xigon saw his own hands glowing fiercely white as he closed the gap between them. When he held Azvalath, there was another compulsion. One he'd certainly experienced before, but never with so much clarity.

[swallow our pain, thankless, and grow cold]

With his entire being he could shield the helpless from Kaosaan's jaws, if only he accepted this blessing. He could hold Azvalath in peace forever, until there was nothing left of his soul to break.

The moment he recognized the idea for what it was, however, he let go of his student and turned away with a snarl of self-loathing.

He tried to stand up and walk away, only to find that he couldn't. The faltering life forces of his student – and of Ami on the other side of the door he'd commanded Rizval not to let him through – tethered him stronger than gravity.

Xigon thudded his fist against Rizval's door. "Rizval, any update?"

They thudded back. "All secure."

"Azvalath is down." Xigon leaned his head near the keyhole to try and listen through. "Status on Ami, please."

"Live." Ami's voice was a dull croak. "Rizval, in my right inside pocket there's a vial labeled B64. It's a greenish color. Give it to Xigon right now."

He heard a shuffle, then the door's middle slot opened and a vial dropped to the floor somewhere in front of him. Xigon reached out and felt around the floor until he found and grabbed it. "What is this?"

"Coagulant." He heard her drag herself a little closer. "Put it in his ears and anywhere else he's bleeding. Promise you, it'll help."

Xigon turned the vial in his hands until he found the top and popped it off. The solution was thick and burned slightly on his fingers. He didn't have to fumble in the dark long to find Azvalath's ears, thankfully, but the way he winced and whined made Xigon feel a strange phantom pain.

As promised, the bleeding stopped in a few seconds.

"Now Rizval, in my left inside pocket you'll find a cartridge marked Ld-R, containing what looks like ink and a razor-dart for administration." Her voice weakened as if she were crying. "Xigon, please don't use this unless you absolutely must."

The container dropped in front of him. It sounded heavier than the first. "What is it?"

Ami took a huge shaky breath. "Rager."

His hand halted over the poison. "Why would you give me this?" He clenched his fingers into a shaking fist. "What could possibly warrant using this?"

"When I first made Rager, I was hoping to use it on myself," she rasped. "I wanted to die in a blaze and take Magpie down with me. She never let me, though, 'cause she knew what I wanted."

Xigon's head and chest burned with a phantom agony as he placed his hand over the cartridge. Around it he could feel a string. Confused, he moved his fingers until they found something smooth and pointed.

Even without seeing, he recognized Kolo's talisman.

"Master?" Azvalath's voice cut through the dark. "Why doesn't Kolo have that?"

He shook his head. "I don't know why she'd let go of it." He pushed it toward Azvalath. "Can you get it back to her? I can't move from here."

"Why not?" Azvalath grabbed his hand. "I can't go alone."

Xigon shook his head. The so-called Sight Ami had described, the first scrap of wisdom Kaosaan had fed him – so long ago he'd mistaken it for his own power – it chained him where he sat, between Azvalath and Ami in their mortal perils.

He could carry Azvalath with him if need be. But Ami...Ami had to stay where she was.

"Ami." He pulled himself to his feet and found the slot in the door. "You came to me for a reason. Come now and I'll give it to you."

"Master, what are you about to do?" Rizval's voice cracked.

He wasn't entirely certain himself. When he drew Respite from the sheath on his belt, he heard Azvalath gasp, and he knew exactly what it looked like. What it would all too likely turn out to be.

He couldn't deceive himself. Ami could very well die here, but on the off chance she didn't, she would finally attain what she'd been striving for. Either way, they wouldn't stay trapped right here.

He slipped his ungloved fingers through the slot. "Ami, come."

He heard a shuffle and a small pained cry as she hauled herself up, perhaps aided by Rizval. Then her fingers locked around his.

He bowed his head. "Hear me, Iron God. Should this child stray, bear her gently to the darkest shore. Your mercy is not lost to us."

"Pious bastard." Ami growled at him. "You know our god can't help us now."

He pursed his lips. Yes, he knew, but the motions still gave comfort.

"Thank you, Master." She gave his fingers a squeeze. "For giving me a second chance."

"Likewise." He breathed a heavy sigh. "Push your back to the door and hold still."

He heard unsteady footsteps, then Rizval said something he couldn't discern. He searched for Ami's heat under the dark writhing tendrils, and when he found it, he thrust the dagger through the slot.

Scalding blood gushed over his hand. He heard Ami gasp and saw her heat flare out like a shattered lantern.

Xigon could only pray it was Vraelen that caught her as she fell. He brought his bloodied fist to his chest and felt his own heart pounding, then a sensation like falling. Bright flares tormented what remained of his vision. White-hot, scorching...then blue.

A great blue eye, one that had long evaded him, now beheld him as it had soon after he'd first met Qila.

Xigon. I thought I had lost you.

Tears burned in his mutilated eyes. "It was you who abandoned us, Vraelen."

Why would you believe such a thing?

"Because Qila still cries for you." He took a deep shuddering breath. "And for me, Kaosaan fills your silence. Don't you know, all the curses she forces me to swallow?"

Xigon, I've tried. The eye glistened. I have tried to reach you for so long. But even when I can reach you, there is little I can do. Kaosaan is far beyond me.

Xigon swallowed hard. A vague sensation of warmth coiled around him, almost like a gigantic hand.

If you were so desperate for me, you would follow the lead of Qila and Sothyrion, and you would do all in your power to restore me.

"It's not you I want." Xigon practically spat. "I tell my order they will do your work in your stead. And I have far more faith in the least of their abilities than I ever had in yours."

He thought he saw the Iron God flinch, and it gave him a strange satisfaction.

"And with Kolo, that dream may be feasible for the very first time." Xigon lifted his chin. "We have more of a chance than ever before."

Tell me, Xigon. A chill spiked through the air. Has that ever been your true intent?

Of course the blue eye would see straight through him.

"They can't know otherwise, not until they absolutely must." His head sank. "It would break them."

You expect them to stand and fight you if or when you succumb entirely to Kaosaan's will. Vraelen laid Xigon's vilest hope bare. Shame on you.

Something warm pressed over his eyelids.

I've got Ami. Take care of Qila for me.

Xigon opened his eyes.

He could see again. He was back where he'd stood before. All was quiet. The tug from Ami was gone.

With one chain broken, he turned to his other. "Azvalath, come." He extended his arm.

Azvalath latched on for dear life. The younger man's trust was somehow more painful than anything Qila had ever done.

['round and 'round the king-snake chased himself, 'round and 'round for centuries]

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 64 [Kolo]

In stark contrast to the instantaneous nature of jumping through blueholes, Sothyrion seemed to carry her down for eternity.

At least, Kolo could only assume they were sinking down rather than floating up, given the near complete darkness that enveloped their bodies. She felt no need for air, but with each breath she didn’t take, the seeming emptiness burrowed deeper into her mind.

Sothyrion would occasionally lay his massive head against her, perhaps checking to see if she were still alive. His claws would tighten and loosen with what Kolo imagined might be dread.

On any other day, she might have found that amusing. Something so huge shouldn’t feel dread. Now, all she could think was how unjust it was, that no matter how strong or resolute anyone seemed, no one was ever free from the fear of things that weren’t even happening yet.

Xigon had asked her once how a god could die and leave them here. Because we were born, she’d answered back then. And it seemed he’d found new faith in her. Kolo couldn’t help but wonder what she would leave behind if she didn’t survive.

She didn’t want to think her cousin would do that, but she also hadn’t ever wanted to think anything was wrong with Valielit at all. When they were children it had been easy enough to brush off as Grandmother being cruel and projecting. Maybe that had been true once, at least part of it, but now? It was impossible to be certain.

Sothyrion pulled her in toward his chest. His heartbeat was like thunder through her skull, and his voice cut straight through the dark. “I give you my blessing, sister. For a time it may keep you safer.”

Warmth radiated through her body.

Then sharp cold ripped through every inch of her skin as Sothyrion pushed her up through a now-familiar bluehole. Kolo gasped and crumpled onto the floor. Behind her, the ice locked itself back together. Sothryion was gone. Icy water dripped from Kolo’s white hair, but curiously, only her head was wet. Still more than usual after a bluehole jump.

Teeth chattering, she pulled her hood up and looked around. The entry room seemed larger than she remembered. No one else was coming or going, no one was there to greet her, and she couldn’t even hear anyone in the halls.

She stretched her arm out and snapped her fingers to see if she could hear that. It was clear as day, for once. Sothyrion’s blessing must have restored her hearing, even if only for a time. Kolo smiled. Then she heard something else and froze.

Near the top of the staircase to the roof, Master Qila sat curled in a fetal position. Her wrinkled hands clamped over her ears and she was sobbing uncontrollably.

“Qila?” Kolo rushed to the base of the stairs and called up. “Master Qila!”

Qila didn’t look at her.

Kolo ran partway up and reached out with an unseen hand to the old woman.

Qila took a shuddering breath and lifted her hands away from her ears. Her palms were slick and the gray hair around her ears was matted with blood.

Kolo’s knees felt wobbly all of a sudden.

“Kolo, I’m glad to see you.” Qila spoke in a hoarse, cracked voice. “I’m sorry, but I can’t move.”

“Why not?” Kolo tried to tug at Qila’s arm.

“I can’t let anyone out,” she managed.

Kolo pulled her unseen hand back. Not sure of how to respond, she simply stared.

Qila added after a moment. “I don’t know where Valielit is, but she must have her hooks everywhere now.”

Kolo nodded. “Maybe I can find her.”

She made her way back down the stairs and tried to swallow the uneasy feeling in her gut. Vali couldn’t possibly want to hurt her, right? Not her favorite cousin, not her only rock in those early years.

The rock she’d selfishly forgotten about…

Kolo’s jaw clenched. There wasn’t any time or space for guilt yet. She pushed it down. It made her nauseous.

She poked her head into the closet where she’d last seen Vali, but it was empty except for a few brownish-stained blankets.

Everything was still too quiet.

She let her eyes illuminate and looked around the hallway. There were similar brownish stains on the floor and walls, along with scratch marks. A fight?

Kolo looked up. The ceiling was high enough that Xigon wouldn’t have to duck while standing, but it too somehow bore marks. At first she thought they were mere scratches, but after a moment she realized it was jagged carved writing.

Hi Kolo.I put the lights out.Where are you?

Now thoroughly confused, Kolo poked her head back into the closet just to make sure no one was there. Sure enough, it was empty. Still, she felt a need to slam the door shut hard enough to make herself flinch.

Next she came to Azvalath’s room and knocked on his door. “Aza!”

It opened a second later. Azvalath gripped a blanket around his shoulders. He looked down with bleary eyes, seeming only half-awake. “Kolo?”

“Where’s Magpie?” she asked.

“Weren’t you just talking to her?” He leaned out into the hallway to look left and right.

“Huh? No.” Kolo looked over her shoulder. “I mean, I was, but then she started acting strange and Ami was a mess, and I had to–”

Azvalath stared down at her as if she were making animal noises.

“I’m not making any sense, am I?” She rubbed her forehead. “Magpie was upset, and then Xigon came out of nowhere looking insane, and he pulled Ami out of the sheets and she was all bloody, like Magpie had torn her to shreds.”

Azvalath pursed his bluish lips. “Is Xigon all right?”

Kolo looked up and down, then raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“Master Xigon,” he pressed. “Where is he?”

She shrugged. “I’d assume he has Ami somewhere taking care of her, if she’s still alive.” Then she looked at Aza’s face again and took a huge step back.

A vein in his forehead bulged and his eyebrows contorted with something intense. Rage, fear, pain, or something even worse. His eyes looked dazed and empty like a rabid dog’s. It was such an unnatural expression, even for Azvalath, that it formed a pit in her stomach. Then he said something that clashed entirely with his expression.

“Glad you’re here, Kolo.”

As he stumbled closer she noticed a ring of bruising around his throat. She backed into the hallway’s wall as he careened toward her and fell to his knees in apparent agony. His skin was frightfully pale, practically glowing in the dark.

“I’m sorry,” he managed. “That was too close.”

“Was it Magpie?” Kolo’s voice cracked. “What did she do to you?”

“She woke me up and grabbed me like this.” He raised a shaky hand to his neck. “And then she—”

He fell abruptly quiet.

“Hey.” Kolo crouched down to his level. “That can’t be all she did.”

Azvalath blinked and made unsteady eye contact before dropping the blanket from his shoulders. His shirt was stained dark around his shoulders.

She reached out with an invisible hand and pulled the hair back from Azvalath’s ears. They were bleeding even more profusely than Qila’s. Kolo swallowed hard. Given his pallor and weakness, he’d lost a significant amount of blood. Her mind wove nightmarish images of what might have happened. What felt worst was that Valielit had simply left him as he was, not even caring to cover it up, much less finish whatever she’d started.

Kolo moved the unseen arm to grab Aza’s hand. “Come on.”

He didn’t say anything as she stood up and pulled him with her. All he did was follow her, trusting her for whatever goddamned reason.

“This must be why you wanted Master Xigon,” she said, if for no other reason than to get a word out of him.

All he did was whimper and nod.

She couldn’t stop looking over her shoulders, fearful that someone else would be there, even though she wanted someone else to come. The contradictory desires rubbed her the wrong way, made her bristle and sweat as she tried to get Azvalath to safety. Wherever that was. The halls she’d come to call home felt foreign all over again.

Finding Xigon wasn’t the relief she’d hoped for.

He sat in front of Rizval’s door, head resting on his knees, breathing in a slow but steady rhythm. Kolo realized quickly that he was asleep, but why now and why here, she struggled to grasp.

Azvalath crouched in front of Xigon. “Master? ”

No response.

“I don’t think he’s awake.” Kolo pressed her fingernail into her teeth. “Let’s go to his study. Maybe he has something we could use.”

Azvalath didn’t seem to be listening. He reached with unsteady fingers toward Xigon’s still form. Xigon remained motionless. That was, until Aza touched him.

Then the master’s hands shot up and seized him like holf jaws.

Azvalath let out a startled cry and tried to scramble away. Kolo jumped back with a shrill yelp and nearly fell.

Xigon pressed his long spidery hands over Azvalath’s bleeding ears and brought him down so their foreheads nearly touched. “Shhhh.”

Aza’s arms fell slack by his sides, motionless, as if all his own will had been extinguished.

Kolo shuddered. It felt grotesque, how he could bend them all like dolls. She clenched her jaw and watched Xigon lift his head slightly toward her.

His eyes were squeezed shut and weeping blood, which made his next words bewildering. “I see you, Kolo.”

Kolo pursed her lips. It sounded too much like something Valielit might say.

His head turned more toward her. “Come here.”

She inched back from him. “Who are you?”

He said something that barely registered as language in a voice as dulcet and horrid as holf song. At the sound of it, Kolo recoiled and covered her ears before she could even think about why. Azvalath contorted backwards with a shriek like he was being flayed alive.

“Shhh.” The master pressed his finger to Azvalath’s lips. “I thought so. Magpie can fabricate the voice of Kaosaan. In that case, Kolo, there’s something you should know.”

Dread coiled in her chest.

“I suspect Magpie’s fabricated voices have entirely the same effects as the real ones.” He pulled a bloodied hand away from Azvalath’s left ear and showed it to her. “Including the Destroyer. That must be how she did this to Azvalath. And if I hear it, then I–”

From somewhere up the hall, an entrancing voice sang back whatever Xigon had said a moment ago to make Aza scream.

The master’s head snapped up. His hands released Azvalath, who crumpled to the floor unconscious.

Kolo rushed to his side. “Aza!” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him. “Aza, wake up!”

Xigon stood up to his full terrifying height. He didn’t acknowledge either of them. The singsong voice continued. Kolo fought and rapidly succumbed to the urge to turn toward the call.

She couldn’t see anyone, but she realized with a chill she could understand every word.

“Hello, my goddess. At last, mine. Welcome home.” A pause. “You recognize this voice, blind fool?”

Xigon’s mangled eyes snapped open. “Kolo, no matter what I tell you or do from this point forward, don’t let me or anyone else into Rizval’s room. That’s an order.”

“Why?” she asked in a small voice.

“That’s an order.” Xigon seethed. “Ami’s in there.”

“TAKE HER TOO!”

Kolo darted out from under Xigon when he tried to grab her. The sweet voice grew dissonant and echoed down the hall like a whole chorus of whispers. She ran straight to its source, expecting Valielit to jump out and grab her as well. But no, it wasn’t Valielit. Not entirely.

Ido was the one to seize her mid-stride. His hands jerked out like a puppet’s and shocked her into convulsions. Her head hit the floor so hard she saw stars amidst all the sparks.

“You think you can run away and find your heaven somewhere else?” Ido leaned down into her face, spitting rage with each word. “You did this. All of this.”

Kolo saw lightning and heard herself scream in agony, as if she were watching some macabre performance from afar. She couldn’t feel it, but she also couldn’t deny it. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 63 [Dakko]

Before he knew the danger they were all in, Dakko had almost felt well. What was supposed to be a brief visit with Rizval about his new boots giving him blisters turned into half a night as they both either lost track of time or stopped caring about sleep.

Rizval bent over a workbench, focused intently on what they’d insisted wasn’t just a pile of sand. Dakko watched them scrutinize individual grains of not-sand and tested their patience. “When do you get your arm out of the sling?”

Rizval hissed. “Shh. I’m busy.”

“You’re always busy.” Dakko straightened and bent his fingers a few times; they were freezing up for no reason.

No response.

“But you make such amazing things,” the boy added.

Rizval’s mood brightened in an instant. They smiled with their oddly pointed teeth. “Thank you.”

Dakko chuckled. “Why are your teeth pointy?”

“Rearranged the fifteenth and twentieth elements’ crystallites a bit.” Rizval looked up. When they saw confusion on Dakko’s face, they sulked a little. “I mean I made them grow like that.”

“Huh. Interesting.” Dakko rubbed his left hand and felt ice cracking under his skin. “So what exactly is your power?”

“I don’t actually create matter.” Rizval dug their nails into the not-sand. “But if crystals are like clay, I can sculpt them.” The dark grains became something like glass under their palm. “And more importantly, I like doing it.”

“I like it too.” Dakko fed another compliment and got another immediate smile. “Thanks to you, I can walk so much easier now.”

“Of course, kid.” Rizval looked down at Dakko’s feet. “I hate that you’re missing toes, but I liked that I could fill in the gaps.” Then they stared up at his face in sudden self-awareness. “I’m sorry, that sounded really strange.”

“You like that you could solve a problem?” Dakko suggested.

“Yes! That’s it.” Rizval smacked the workbench. “It feels great to be helpful, y’know?”

“Which you are.” The boy moved to stand next to Rizval. “Doesn’t matter how strong or smart you are if you’re not helping, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” Rizval shrugged. “Y’know, I like that. I used to feel bad that I couldn’t keep up with the pack. If I push myself too hard I drop like a rock. Something about my heart not working well under pressure, Master Xigon said.” They ran a jittery hand over their chest. “But you know what? I could never leave my room and still be the most helpful person here.”

“I’m with you there.” Dakko winced as he rubbed an especially sore spot on his hand.

Rizval noticed the motion. “Your hand all right?”

“It’s hurting.” The boy pulled it back toward his pocket.

“Hey, may I see?” Rizval beckoned. “I have an idea.”

Dakko extended his arm, trembling, to rest his hand on Rizval’s workbench. Rizval unfastened the wrist brace, revealing angry lesions bristling with frost. Dakko flinched and turned his head away. It hurt more when he looked at it. His teeth clenched and chattered.

Rizval hummed. “Yeah, that’s bad. Here’s what we’re gonna do.” They snapped their fingers. “Look here for a second.”

The boy seethed. “Do I have to?”

“Just thought you might be interested.” Rizval picked his hand up as delicately as possible. “I’ve been working on a material that can warm your joints as well as stabilize them. Wanna try it out?”

Dakko nodded. He couldn’t form a coherent sentence in his mind or his mouth. It was so confusing to be tended to like this. He kept wondering where the catch was, what his end of the deal was supposed to be. That there was no exchange to begin with…he couldn’t wrap his head around it. But here was Rizval, someone with nothing to gain from him, seeing his need and meeting it.

Rizval’s fingertip brushed along a scar on his wrist.

Dakko looked back. Rizval’s eyes were wide and their mouth hung slightly open. “Hey, when did you kill someone?”

The boy blinked.

“Dakko.” Rizval’s tone grew deathly serious. “What happened?”

He opened his mouth and then shut it again. How was he supposed to respond? Should he not have done what he did, back in the clutches of a woman who thought she was saving him when he was the real monster?

So he took the least responsible route and deflected. “What happened to your shoulder?”

Rizval seethed. “Accident.”

Dakko shook his head. “I think one of those kids shot at you on purpose.”

“No!” Rizval smacked the workbench. “That is not what happened. Spreading a rumor like that could get those kids slaughtered for something an adult they trusted made them do. Do you understand?”

Dakko flinched. Then he took a deep breath and bit his lip. “Even if that adult…happened to freeze to death a little while ago?”

Rizval raised an eyebrow. “...the fuck?”

Dakko squeezed his eyes shut.

Something clicked under Rizval’s fingernails. Then they handed his wrist brace back. “Try this out.”

He put it back on without a word. It fit perfectly and soothed the cold ache. He tried to muster any word of gratitude, but managed only a shaky smile. Hopefully that was enough.

“I’m not mad at you,” Rizval clarified. “Just don’t wanna see you get eaten up like the rest of us. You come right back if you need anything at all, you hear me?”

The boy gave a tearful nod. “Yeah.”

As he was about to leave, Dakko paused, fingers trembling over the doorknob. He heard people yelling down the hall. Loud footsteps. Something like a wild animal shrieking. Sharp cracks almost like lightning.

Warily, he turned back to Rizval. “What’s going on out there?”

Rizval squinted, then came over to listen. Their eyebrows knitted into a confused scowl. “What in the…?”

They nudged Dakko aside and cracked the door ever so slightly open. The yelling grew clearer, and what they heard was nothing short of shocking. Dakko made uneasy eye contact. “Is that Xigon?”

“Holy shit.” Rizval grew pale and shut the door hard. Then they bolted it and scrambled to drag a chair in front of it. “Dakko, this is really bad.”

“Wait, why?” Dakko glanced around. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know,” Rizval admitted. “But if Master Xigon ever raises his voice, that’s beyond serious. And –”

An even louder crack made them both jump.

“That,” Rizval took a shaky breath, “is…um, the sound of him destroying matter. In plain terms, we are absolutely fucked.”

Dakko’s eyes grew wide.

“We’re not next. No. He’s trying to protect us. From what, though?” Rizval leaned their head on the door. “Can you hear anything else?”

Dakko cupped his still-stiff hand behind his ear. The two of them listened for several minutes that dragged on forever. It was silent except for their shaky breaths, but neither of them dared move.

Not until someone slammed their fist on the door and yelled for them to open it.

Dakko took an unsteady step backwards. Rizval scrambled like a mouse from under a boot.

Whoever it was heard their movement and ordered them again, fiercely. “Rizval, let me in now.”

Dakko realized with a start it was Xigon. It panicked him to hear the master anything but dead calm. Sheepishly, he turned to Rizval. “Are you going to?”

Rizval shoved the chair away and opened the door just long enough for Xigon to throw himself through. Then they rushed to lock it again. “Master, what’s happening? Why do you have –” Their face went pale and they clamped a hand over their mouth. “Ami?”

Xigon had crumpled to his knees. Held loosely in his lap was the monstrous poisoner, but not so monstrous-looking now. Ami’s shirt was stained a shade darker and clung wet to her skin, save for the ragged gashes ripped through it. It looked like she’d been mauled by a starving wild animal. But that didn’t horrify Dakko nearly as much as her face – her skin drained ghastly pale and tearful eyes fighting to stay open for fear of never seeing again.

He’d seen that face before. It wasn’t any easier now.

Dakko stumbled. His head seemed to fill with ice water. He sank to his hands and knees. The floor blurred in and out. It was all he could bring himself to stare at. The floor that might have just as easily been the ceiling…

In the fog he inhaled his own spit and coughed, jarring himself back to clarity.

“Valielit has launched her assault. I suspect Qila has already been compromised,” he heard Xigon say. “Rizval, I need you to secure this room for the safety of anyone injured.”

“Where’s Ido?” Dakko whimpered.

Xigon turned to the sound of his voice. Then Dakko noticed his eyes for the first time and it made his stomach lurch. The master’s eyes were mutilated into blood-weeping pits. The occasional pulse of violet flared through like light from a broken lantern, but the sight seemed gone.

His words were far from reassuring. “Valielit must believe I can interfere with her nature in some way. Otherwise she wouldn’t have gone for my eyes first.”

“Fuck.” Rizval stormed across the room and kicked a stool over. “We’re dead!”

“I’ve made new eyes before. I’ll do it again.” Xigon held his hand up. “Right now, I need you to listen.”

Dakko couldn’t bring himself to pay any attention to whatever orders came next. It wasn’t as if he could fulfill them anyway, small and feeble as he was. So he simply covered his ears and stared, as if torn from his body, at the face he’d seen in his worst nightmares.

Ami stared back. Then she glanced up at Xigon, then back at him. Her hand slid toward his knee.

Dakko looked down. Was she seeking reassurance from him of all people? Or was she, of all people, trying to reassure him?

Warily, he uncovered one ear and pressed his icy hand over hers. Her fingers twitched like an insect’s legs. He shivered and leveled her a glare. Yes, he’d seen this before – but it had all started with her. His grief, his pity, and his rage all tangled together like worms under rotten wood. It was hard to say where one ended and another began.

Ami seemed to see straight through him. The tiniest, bitterest smirk played across her blue-tinged lips. She mouthed something only he could hear. “You’re still stuck, aren’t you?”

He half-wondered if he’d imagined her voice.

“In any case, Rizval, you’re not just keeping Valielit out. You’re keeping me out.” Xigon sounded far away even though he was right in front of Dakko. “Be strong, you three. Don’t go out.”

He laid Ami on the floor and stood to leave. Her other hand jerked almost reflexively after him. Rizval followed him to the door and said something else. Dakko didn’t pay any attention. Not until Rizval came back to his side and gave him a pat on the back. “Deep breath, kid. Want a blanket?”

Dakko nodded.

Ami lifted her head slightly. “How’s your shoulder, Rizval?”

“It’s—” Rizval reached for their shoulder and then squinted. “Such a strange thing to ask right now.” Then they went to grab a blanket and tossed it in Dakko’s direction.

Dakko snatched it out of the air and cocooned himself in it.

“You know what else is strange?” Ami locked eyes with Dakko. “I can actually tell the whole truth now.”

The boy cocked his head.

“Magpie was never my friend. She was draining me to strengthen herself, all that time.” She laid her head back down and stared up at the ceiling. “And she made it so I couldn’t say or feel anything too loud, anything at all that’d point to her as the source.”

Dakko sat in silence for a moment.

“Didn’t kill me, of course. Don’t think she ever wanted to.” Ami sighed. “But the one thing I could never, ever stand was being helpless. And that’s what she made me.”

Dakko rested his head on his knees. “All her fault? I don’t believe that.”

“Of course not.” Ami looked back at him. “What happened to your old man, Dakko? That was all me.” She pulled her hand away from him. “At the end of the day, everything you went through was because of me.”

The boy looked away. “I don’t believe that either.”

“Well, then…think you could ever learn to live with me?” Ami gave him a faint smile.

Dakko closed his eyes. “First, let’s survive.”

[lshark-cs]

Hello stranger.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 62 [Kolo]

While Kolo struggled to grasp her predicament, the holf lay quiet by her side, newly deep red eyes eerily staring.

Once she'd caught her breath, she turned to stare back. The beast watched her, still unblinking. His huge, tufted ears shifted slightly to follow her movement. The wind dusted his cryptic fur with snow and spruce needles.

Kolo walked to his other side. Slaaek's eyes and ears followed her.

She reached out with a ghost hand to touch him. He was dreadfully warm.

Slaaek pushed back against the contact, lips parting ever so slightly.

"Death is the ideal outcome for the likes of us, you say?" Kolo took a deep breath. "I don't know where you got such a rotten idea."

One tufted ear twitched. You're so loud.

"Well, you tell me." She extended another ghost hand and grabbed his ear, making him jolt. "Where did you get such a rotten idea?"

Slaaek got to his feet. A low growl rumbled deep in his chest, one Kolo didn't hear so much as feel in her bones. She fought every fiber of her being to stay put, not to run or even flinch.

Maybe she flinched anyway, because the holf's horrid eyes seemed gloat. It's not my idea, i'iba. He leered down, breathing hot and fast down her back. Sothyrion told me so as he guided me toward you. He actually didn't want me to pass it on to you.

Kolo tipped her chin up and straightened her posture. "Why's that, huh?"

Everyone needs you. Slaaek's head twisted at an odd angle as he read her expressions. Isn't that right?

"I keep hearing that." Kolo started walking at a slow but steady pace back toward the bluehole. "And no one's ever really straight with me about why."

And what answer would satisfy you? Slaaek hung his head over her and took shaking steps on legs that clearly didn't see much use. What would someone have to say or do for you to change your mind about anything?

Kolo ignored the beast and pressed on.

Where are you going? The holf's heavy paws crunched over ice and rock. Sothyrion sealed all the blueholes. I already said so. Are you deaf?

"If I am, it's only because I had to survive you." Kolo scratched at her right ear, which all of a sudden hurt so bad it filled her with fiery rage.

How very clever you were, i'iba. Slaaek's nose nudged at her back and took a deep sniff. You smell like our god. His breath was hot on her neck. Nice smelling.

"Back off me." Kolo tried to speed her pace, but the increasingly rocky terrain as they drew nearer to the shore practically guaranteed a broken ankle if she ran. She managed to climb up onto a higher rock, giving her a clearer view of the now completely frozen lake.

Nice smelling. Slaaek pushed the idea again. I want our god. We all wish!

She squinted. The glare from the ice sheet was like looking straight at the sun. Or maybe like a god's eye. "You told me your song was a lullaby of wishes for the heart before it stops."

The holf let out a long, low drone.

"I'll bet Sothyrion wishes for our god all the same." She closed her eyes and wiped moisture from them. "Let's see if he hears you."

Slaaek came to sit beside her, panting heavily. The fact that a short walk had left him so winded made him seem so much less frightening. They looked at each other and made eye contact, perhaps both recognizing the absurdity of their situation.

The holf's lips drew back in what looked almost like a smirk. Cover your ears.

His heavy head turned to face the frozen lake, and his jaw opened frightfully wide. Kolo pressed her hands over her ears, but kept her eyes firmly on the beast. "Do it now."

Slaaek closed his eyes and folded his own ears shut. His nostrils flared, drawing in a deep breath, then he sang.

Even with her ears covered, it was extremely loud, but Kolo heard it for what it really was. One simple idea repeated over and over in dulcet tones. I will show you what you seek. I will show you what you seek.

It was simultaneously the most horrifying and beautiful sound she'd ever heard.

Slaaek screamed out his lure until he nearly passed out breathless. When his voice trailed off, the silence it left was earsplitting. But it didn't last long.

A jagged crack split the ice with a sound like thunder, and an immense serpentine head burst up through the frozen water with a howl.

Ice fell from Sothyrion's horns and jagged teeth. His yellow eyes squeezed shut and he coughed, showering the ice with metallic dark fluid. Then he turned and saw who'd really called him, and he gave a deep growl.

Kolo froze in instinctive panic.

His head disappeared below the surface. Cold wind swept off the bluehole. So cold it hurt to breathe. She shivered and cursed herself for feeling fear now of all times. I'm not afraid.

You should be, she imagined Azvalath saying. And she cursed the voice of reason for sounding like him.

Sothyrion burst through the ice right at the water's edge.

Kolo jumped and tumbled backwards off her foothold. A chunk of ice hit Slaaek straight in the face, knocking him back with a yelp. And the water spirit glared down at both of them, practically boiling with fury.

"You would dare to invoke my father, now of all times?" Sothyrion hissed. Blood and tears dripped with the ice water from his face. "You know not where you tread, Kolo."

Kolo shielded her eyes as he breathed down on her. "No, I don't," she admitted. "And I'm sorry I don't understand. Will you help me?"

Sothyrion's head lowered down toward her chest and he took a deep breath. "Help you?" His expression hardened. "What could you ever need from me?"

"Let me through the bluehole. I need to get back to Styzia." She moved her arm and tried to sit up, but found herself too shaky. "They're my only chance, and I'm theirs."

"My mother had me seal the passages," he told her, unswayed.

Kolo swallowed hard and grasped where her necklace used to be. "Mothers don't always know best."

Slaaek crawled toward Kolo, stones clattering under his weight.

"I see how it is." Sothyrion glowered between the holf and the white-haired girl. "My mother, wiser than us all – tells me to hold my walls strong, because she fears something or someone for once in millennia, and you expect me to take the word of naive little insects over hers?" Wisps of mist curled from his breath. "Please, little ones, give me some reason why I shouldn't crush you."

"People your mother loves are going to die if you don't let me through." Kolo sat up, finally. "Hell, Qila herself might die. Let me through and I won't let that happen."

Sothyrion's eyes narrowed. "My mother will survive." His golden irises darkened as if soaked in violet ink. "And it's not as if she can do what's right and kill the ones she's gotten attached to."

"Oh, so it was your rotten idea all along, huh?" Kolo stood up, fear giving way to rage. "We deserve to live!"

"No, Kolo." Sothyrion's teeth bared. "My father's semi-mortal descendants are a necessary sacrifice. Your presence here holds him back. He cannot be replaced." A huge, webbed hand reached toward Kolo, sharp claws pulsing white. "The ones who come back, the Ferash Therall, should have one focus only. Clear his way back to us."

"Then why haven't you done it yet?" Kolo's voice rose to a scream. She wrapped her arms around herself, desperate to contain the growing terror that ripped through her and remain steady. "Why won't you kill me, if that's really the ideal outcome?"

Slaaek stirred somewhere behind her.

"Because I don't want this to be the truth." Sothyrion's eyes glistened with tears. "But it's the way things are."

The way things are. Kolo used to hear that a lot, when she was smaller and still so angry at the unfairness of the world. Always meant to instill some helpless feeling that anger wasn't worth it. Accept the way things were, and never aspire. What were ideals if not a vice?

But that anger all culminated now. And as Sothyrion's hand swung to strike her, she met it with all her unseen ones.

He froze up. Clearly, he hadn't expected resistance, and clearly it rattled him.

"Let me through!" Kolo yelled at him again. "The way things are isn't how they have to stay. Even the Iron God said as much!" She pushed forward, pleading now. "Don't you believe him?"

"Why?" Sothyrion growled. "Why would he put you before me?"

"I don't know." Kolo pinned his claws to the ground. "He's abandoned far too many of us. But I won't, you hear me?"

I hear you.

Slaaek's mouth opened frightfully wide. His eyes fixated on the small human.

Kolo shivered.

We all need you. His nostrils flared. You are all we need.

His song spilled forth again, but the tune had changed. Now it told of a different yearning.

Only you. Only you. Only you. Awaken.

Kolo glared up at Sothyrion. Her heart pounded with terror and determination alike. And he looked back at her with tears.

She'd seen those same tears in so many eyes. Grandmother praising her like some idol. Valielit crying for her goddess. Xigon asking her how a god could die and leave them here. Channei's aching admiration. Azvalath's impossible hope.

The Iron God himself entrusting her with an infinity of prayers meant for him.

"I'll do what he could never do." She pressed a shaking fist to her chest, to the heartbeat that wasn't solely her own. "I won't abandon us."

Then she strode out onto the ice. The water spirit and the holf watched her as if she were larger than both of them. Impossible strength carried her.

She ran until she slipped and slammed her knees into the ice. The impact made her bite her tongue. Kolo spat out blood and gasped. Her reflection spat and gasped right back. Tiny, weak little thing. No fitting image for a last hope.

She gathered all her force, every unseen hand she could muster, and punched through that fragile image.

The ice shattered like thin glass and plunged her into the deep cold.

An eerie light followed her down. She heard a deep voice whimper. "Mother mine, forgive me."

And Sothyrion cradled her close, bearing her through. After all the anguish he'd cried out, his trust was the heaviest weight to carry. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 61 [Qila]

In the quiet before Magpie’s attack, it had almost been a peaceful evening, where the strangest thing Master Qila had to deal with was Xigon not only letting himself into her study, but seeming eager to see her.

The door creaked open and she looked up from her rocking chair to see him scooting his wheelchair to join her at her small table. She cocked her head, surprised but not at all bothered. “Good evening.”

“Good evening indeed.” He slammed a stack of notes on the table. “I’ve got it, Qila. Finally.”

“Hmm?” Qila slid the papers over to examine them. “Xigon, I can barely read your handwriting. What is this?”

“The fullest picture I could form.” His long fingers grasped the edge of the table. “You know, the very first time I met Ami, she wasn’t festering like she is now.”

“Mm-hm.” Qila squinted. “I vaguely remember. Back when you and Azvalath took on the fanatic who used to be a common cause of death for our students? And it was his first mission?”

“Well…” Xigon winced. “Yes. Said fanatic was actually a relative of Kolo and Valielit. Came to find that out recently, and there’s a connection you might find interesting.”

Qila looked through the notes and found a rough diagram.

Ami refuses to join us for the time being → repatriates Khohet’s remains → WHAT HAPPENED? → Ami has changed and now disturbs me.

“I don’t quite follow.” The old woman looked up. “What do you think changed?”

“According to Ido, Magpie was with Ami when he and his brother encountered her.” He scratched his wrist. “I’ve since wondered if Ami’s more alarming changes started when she returned Khohet’s body to his family’s village, given that Valielit lived there too. She had to have picked Valielit up around that time.”

Qila swallowed hard. “Ami came into my study with a hellish fever a while back.”

Xigon cocked his head.

“She couldn’t tell me straight what was wrong no matter how hard she tried. It was like her words were twisting between her mind and her mouth.” She shuddered at the memory. “She finally just screamed, help me. Then Magpie came out of seemingly nowhere to give Ami a hug, and she instantly quieted down, like…” Qila hated the very thought. “Like she was controlling Ami’s mind.”

“I’ve seen it too.” Xigon’s eyes widened under his goggles. “I see…”

His hands clenched and he looked her straight in the eyes, power radiating so intensely it felt like standing an inch from a fire. His breathing grew rapid and heavy.

She knew that look. It was the same look he’d have as he walked onto a battlefield. The look he’d had as he’d wandered from Kolo’s second ascension before returning with bloody hands. Not quite bloodlust, but something more deeply twisted.

Chills needled their way through her.

“Qila?”

She jolted at his voice. “What?”

“This sensation. It’s coming from the small room where Ami and Magpie have been living.” He stood up from his wheelchair and leaned over the table. “I’m going to investigate. It will most likely come to bloodshed. There’s something I’ll need to entrust to you.”

Qila got up and came to his side. “What would you have me do?”

He took a deep breath, then looked down at her with conviction. “Don’t let Valielit escape.”

She nodded.

He bowed slightly. “Thank you, i’iba.”

There was an address she hadn’t heard for ages. It hurt like being struck. “Don’t call me that.”

His eyes narrowed.

“I am not before you, Xigon,” she pressed. “Though…I understand. All this time, you’ve been doing exactly as I taught, so promise me, Xigon.” Qila looked up to meet his fierce eyes. “Promise me that what you’re about to do is of your own will.”

“You’re no longer in control.” His jaw clenched. “A pity. You were a more just tyrant.”

He took his crutches from the back of his chair and left her with those painful words alone.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 60 [Valielit]

CW: graphic violence, gore

My goddess. My treasure. My prey. Mine. MINE!

She watched Kolo shove something into Ami's half-alive hand and heard her spew out some frantic plea to Xigon. Then she fled, and something deep inside both Magpie and Ami released its stranglehold.

"Valielit is eating me alive."

Strings undone. Valielit's head snapped up, waking with ecstatic fury from a two-hundred-year dream. A happy dream, it had been. But this new feeling, this long-suppressed vitality surging back, was the peak of all experience.

Xigon's voice interrupted her mind's rush. "Valielit is...?"

Oh, he knew far too much.

She threw herself at the tall man, and before he could fully grasp what was happening she dug her fingers under his goggles and into his eyes. That was where almost all his power was. Magpie knew that much.

His spidery hands seized her elbows as she shoved him backwards. They tumbled over Ami and into the wall.

"Magpie, stop!" Ami tried to grab her ankle. "He's going to kill you if you–"

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Magpie jeered. "It's what you wanted from him all this time. We both know that."

Xigon's grip tightened and his hands pulsated with thin threads of white light.

Before he could do anything, Valielit slammed his head between the wall and the floor. "No one should have said anything," she spat. "And no one is going to do anything."

Ami shrieked, but Xigon made no sound at all as Vali scored his eyes with her sharp nails, not even as blood dripped down his face like tears, leaving vivid red splotches on the floor — no, he remained as silent and unflinching as a dead thing. His silence irritated her. She knew he could feel it. Why wouldn't he yield?

A dull throb of violet lit his eyes as they filled with blood beneath her fingertips.

"You can't!" She hissed at him. "You can't do anything at all!"

Xigon's jaw clenched. His teeth bared slightly.

"You know why?" Valielit leaned in closer, breathing heavily. "Because you might fancy yourself the Iron God's hand, but I? I am his will."

"And...this." One of his still-glowing hands drifted to clamp down on top of hers. "This is my will."

There was a sound like the world exploding. A searing shear of light and black overtook her vision, but only for an instant. Next thing she knew, she watched herself fall backwards. She watched her left hand come detached from her body and burn up without leaving any ashes. Her left arm disintegrated up to the elbow in a mere fraction of a second.

Valielit's sensation returned in a blaze of unfathomable pain. The pain of part of herself coming completely undone. She lay there shrieking and laughing all at once as she realized what had happened.

Ami stirred next to her.

Xigon crawled to loom over them both, weeping blood without tears. "My will is always done."

Vali scrambled away from him. "Not today!"

His head snapped toward the sound of her movement. Even if he couldn't see, it didn't seem to hinder him as much as she'd hoped it would.

"Hey, what's going on?"

Another voice called from down the hall, followed by a sharp gasp and running footsteps.

Ami shot Valielit a knowing, pleading look. "Magpie, please. Have a heart, will you?"

She ignored her old worn-out host and turned to see who'd come to join them. She caught sight of Ido fleeing the scene.

"Ido, help me!" Magpie begged.

He stopped in his tracks.

Ami grabbed her by the ankle and pleaded again. Magpie gave her a hard kick in the face before crying out a second time. "Ido, please. They're hurting me."

Ido turned warily to glare over his shoulder. When he saw she was missing an arm, his eyes blew wide.

"They hurt you too. I know they did." She intoned her voice in exactly the way a holf might as she approached him. She dodged Xigon's hands as she passed him. "Can we run away?"

Ido turned fully toward her. "What?"

"Ido, don't listen to her." Xigon stumbled in the direction of their voices, barely able to hold his crutches. "She did all this. Get away from her!"

"Ido, don't listen to him." Valielit clutched the stump where her left arm had been and ran a few steps toward the boy. "He took my arm just like he took your old man!"

Xigon lunged like an animal from behind her, then dropped one crutch and swung an arm out to snatch her. Then he slammed her into the wall, knocking the wind out of her. "You dare bring him into this?" His voice rose to a genuine yell, one that made all of them jolt. "Really, nothing is sacred to you! No one could ever suffer enough to satisfy your sick yearnings!"

"Take my soul too, then." Valielit smiled wide, even knowing he wouldn't see it. "If you can. And hey, if you still let him feel anything, I'll tell Haode we said hello, how about that?"

Xigon's bleeding eyes flared violet. His hands trembled with more of the strange light that preceded his destruction. Valielit's heart jumped into her throat. No, she wasn't done yet!

So she gave him Kolo's voice. "Master, don't hurt my cousin!"

The confusion only lasted a split second, but it was enough. His grip slackened and Valielit threw herself down to avoid Ido's crack of lightning.

Xigon crumpled like a dropped puppet. Ami stirred and reached for him. Vali watched in confusion.

"Magpie." Ido's voice cracked. "What's happening?"

"Thank you." Valielit came up to him and smiled tearfully. "I knew I could rely on you."

He took one step back. Vali took a step forward and reached around to press her fingers into the back of his neck. Ido's eyes shot wide open to stare petrified into hers.

She gazed back with all the warmth he needed. "Hey there, Ido."

"H...hey?" Ido's lips trembled. Then his eyes darted erratically. "Hey, what are you?...agh!"

It only took a few seconds to snare his soul, small and needy as it was.

Before they moved, she tested the binding. "Why did Xigon tell you to get away from me?"

"Huh?" Ido blinked, then stared as if she'd spoken another language. "When did he say that?"

"Good." Vali smirked. Then she doubled over with a shriek as more pain shot through what remained of her left arm and a little more of it disintegrated.

Ido rushed to help her back up.

She accepted his aid and smiled weakly at him. Still the smile of a little girl tearing the legs off a silently screaming insect. No real joy behind it, only some unrelenting desire for dominion.

But above all else, she wanted her goddess.

With Ido in tow, she practically flew down to Styzia's bluehole. Wherever she'd charged off to, Kolo was waiting for her. She'd been waiting a long time, hadn't she?

But instead of crystalline water, there was solid, impenetrable ice.

"Just where are you trying to go, Magpie?" A harsh old woman's voice called down from the top of the stairs to the roof.

She played innocent for a moment. "Where's my cousin?"

"Beyond your reach," Qila snarled. "You'll never have her."

"All well and good." Valielit cocked her head. "So long as I can have all the rest of your babies."

Qila reached into her pocket.

"Mm-hm. And Xigon can't see right now," she added.

She pulled a grotesque-looking puppet out of her cloak.

"Nice. I remember your shadow monster thing." Vali waved to it mockingly. "But you can't fight me either. You know how I can mimic voices?"

"What about it?" Qila seethed.

"I'm not always just copying things I've heard." She tapped her foot excitedly. "I can make things up too. Ami never could've told you that, though. She never could've told you any of this because I wouldn't let her."

Qila threw her shadowy skeletal apparition to tower over Valielit. Its voice was a hideous layered roar. "You wouldn't dare–"

She gave the old master her beloved one's voice. "You have no power over me."

The puppet dropped from Qila's hand and rolled down a few steps. She stared dumbstruck, shuddering.

"Tell Sothyrion to open the blueholes before I have to hurt anyone else." Valielit shrugged. "Won't you?"

"Never." Qila's voice cracked.

"Well, I guess it's fine. You're all here with me." She clenched her remaining hand and sighed. "Let me know when you change your mind."

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 59 [Kolo]

Kolo bolted faster than she could think. She didn’t dare slow or look back. If she looked back, she’d have time to regret this. She didn’t have the luxury of thinking it through, not now.

If her hunch was true, Valielit could be after her any second now. That was good, right? She knew her cousin. She knew how to handle this. Right?

Damn it! Stop thinking and RUN!

Kolo plunged herself into Styzia’s bluehole.

She crashed ashore somewhere else entirely. A gray stony shore shrouded in mist.

Her thoughts jumped back to her comrades. Would Magpie hurt them? She hoped not. But hope wasn’t a strategy. She stared at the crystal-clear water and waited for her cousin. Surely she’d follow, right? Surely Kolo could get at least half a clue of what was going on.

Something stirred out on the water’s surface. Kolo’s eyes darted toward the motion. Two puffs like steam rose up with two long, toothy snouts.

The blind crocodile-looking dolphins she’d just read about. What timing. Even if they didn’t have eyes, she couldn’t help but feel watched. With a heavy shudder she turned and kept running.

Kolo made it as far as the tree line before an overwhelming sense of deja vu hit her. This place felt familiar. Too familiar for peace of mind, even if no one lived here anymore.

She sat down on a half-rotted log and rubbed sweat off her forehead. She tried to tell herself it could’ve been coincidental that this stretch of forest looked just like one she and Vali used to play in. How could she be certain she even remembered the old days right?

Kolo took a deep breath. The haze from the lake was creeping up into the woods now. Droplets condensed and then froze on the trees’ needles. She couldn’t resist reaching up and flicking a low-hanging branch just to watch the little beads of ice fly off. A small laugh tickled her nerves.

Valielit used to sit on a log like this and laugh at seemingly nothing. Sometimes for several minutes at a time before snapping back disoriented. Vali’s smile and laugh were infectious, but also empty and joyless, Kolo had long since realized. Like a bird obsessively preening itself naked.

Vali cried too – with just as little feeling and just as much contagion. That day – their last day together as children – she’d cried long and loud. Kolo pictured it vividly, as if she were right back in that moment.

Ami’s arrival in Howl Hollow had caused quite a ruckus immediately, given the usual lack of visitors.

“Is that our big cousin?” Kolo clutched Vali’s hand and looked up at their grandmother, more confused than sad. She hadn’t really known him, so there wasn’t much to mourn. Still, the body in Ami’s cart looked like an older male version of herself, visibly and viciously wounded by what her little mind could only imagine to be storybook monsters.

“What happened?” Grandmother growled at Ami. “How did our Khohet die? How could he?”

“He fought and he lost,” Ami answered. “And though he’d been after me for a long time, I took no vengeance when I found him wounded. I swear it. I treated him like any other patient. The least I can do now is return him to his family.”

Vali cried long and loud. Then she laughed, then cried some more. It sounded like something was twisting in her head, scrambling to break out. Kolo squeezed her cousin’s hand.

“Who defeated him?” Grandmother demanded. “And how do we avenge him?”

“That information will cost you,” said Ami.

“Cost us what?” The old woman practically spat with each word.

“Khohet had one last request.” Ami rested her hand on the dead man’s chest. “That I look out for his baby cousin full of our god’s power. The one all our fates depend on. The one so precious to you.”

Me?

Kolo’s hands clenched.

“She’s yours.” Grandmother yanked Valielit away from Kolo.

Both girls shrieked and tried to cling to each other. Kolo screamed her throat raw.

“Khohet’s defeat came at the hands of Master Xigon of Styzia and his newest pupil – a man by the name of Azvalath.”

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee

A child’s shriek and a shrill whistle like a steaming kettle.

Kolo snapped back to where she was and fell to her hands and knees on the ground. Nausea twisted her gut. She thought for sure she’d escaped. How could she run away from something and still come right back to it?

Her fingers dug through the snow and into the sickeningly warm fur beneath.

The creature slid out from under her and sent her tumbling into the brush as it stood and shook the forest floor off itself. And the baleful jaws of Slaaek slavered over her again.

She lay there still as stone, not daring to make a sound.

The nostrils huffed and drew her scent in. Then he flattened himself, pressing his monstrous face into the ground, as if bowing.

Did you not want to see that, i’iba?

Kolo tried to remember how to breathe.

You showed me the blue eye, Kolo. The great holf stood back up, but kept his head low and tufted ears flat. I never thought it would come from a tiny human hand.

Kolo tried to comprehend it all. When it sank in, her eyes widened. “You ascended?”

Slaaek’s eyes opened. Deep red and luminous. The eyes of a new Ferash Therall. A long droning sound rumbled from his bony chest.

“How are you here?” Kolo sat up. “And how are you talking to me?”

What comes from my mouth is a lullaby of wishes and lies. Slaaek’s mouth opened wide, revealing teeth as long as her arms. Our god has blessed me now to speak from my soul. I can speak the truth from there. One ear twitched. So from my soul I asked Sothyrion, please bring us together, my i’iba – one before me – and me. I want to know and love and curse her. But her blood, I swore not to taste.

His ear flattened again. He let out a long sigh that smelled of rotten flesh. Kolo gagged as she stood up. She tried to make herself look big – more for herself than for the beast in front of her. “Why show me that day?”

Know and love and curse you. Slaaek’s head twisted to look at her sideways. A lullaby of wishes for your heart before it stops. That is my prayer. Take from it not as you want, but as you need.

Kolo folded her arms. “Do you even know what you’re showing me?”

No, i’iba. Slaaek’s lips drew back. It’s never been for me to know. All I know is that I sing and the human dances to the tune.

Kolo locked eyes with the beast, with her reflection in his newly red gaze. “Then sing.”

[before Vali left, she told me]

“It’s all right.” Valielit hugged Kolo tight. “If I go with Ami, she won’t take you away.”

“It’s not all right!” Kolo clung to Vali. “Grandmother lied to Ami because she wants to get rid of you, that’s all.”

“Going with Ami will be so much fun.” Vali pulled back and grabbed Kolo’s hands. “She’ll love me no matter how much I mess her up.”

She smiled wide. Kolo saw her teeth were stained with blood. With a gasp, she looked down at her cousin’s fingers. Also bloody. There was blood all over her.

“Don’t worry, Kolo.” Vali put her fingers in her mouth and licked them. “It’s not mine.”

Kolo learned later where all that blood came from, when Grandmother found their big cousin’s body riddled with additional massive wounds, as if he’d been mauled by a mad dog. His lips had been torn back into a hideous grin.

No one ever did find his fingers.

Counted to zero. Hideous grin. One last taunt. And now, Kolo realized – a clue.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeee

“Quiet.”

Slaaek closed his mouth.

“Smile.”

The holf tilted his head sideways again.

“Smile.” Kolo repeated the command louder. She pulled her lips back and up with her fingers. “Like this.”

Slaaek’s lips drew back in a snarl, then up. His face was doglike enough that the familiarity hit her cold.

“No wonder…she always seemed like such a puppy until she wasn’t.” She reached for her talisman, only to remember with a start that she’d given it up on a reckless bargain. Cold sweat ran down her neck. “That’s why she wanted me to take it off, isn’t it?”

Slaaek stayed still, straining to hold the unnatural grin.

“One more thing.” Kolo glared at the holf. “Why did you kill Dras?”

Who is Dras? The grin relaxed into a more curious expression.

“He was our kin under the Iron God.” Kolo clenched her hands. “Why kill your own kind?”

Unknowing, I did you a favor. Slaaek yawned, exposing his immense teeth once more. Though I only now understand it, i’iba. The deaths of our own are not a failure, but the ideal outcome.

“That’s nonsense!” Kolo raised her voice. “What kind of god would consider that an ideal outcome?”

Yours and mine. Slaaek lifted his head up toward the sky. Ours.

Wind swept his cryptic-colored fur as something distant caught his attention. A deep crackling sound carried on the wind, loud enough that Kolo felt it in her bones.

That sound. The great quaking of ice. Sothyrion is frightened. He tipped his muzzle down to stare wide-eyed at Kolo. He just sealed all of the blueholes.

Kolo shrieked. “What?”

We dwellers of the wild know the deep soul’s ways well. Either Sothyrion is frightened, Slaaek’s words sent a deep chill through her core. Or his mother commanded it. He can only hold the ice for so long, but for now, no one can pass through.

Kolo clutched her temples and shuddered. The abject horror of it left her speechless. She was stuck out here. And Valielit was stuck at Styzia.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 58 [Ami]

Be nice.

Whatever did that mean, anyway?

Don’t think bad thoughts or you’ll do bad things.

Ami heard her own voice say those words and many more. But it wasn’t her, not really. But it was. Magpie –

Magpie was arguing with herself again. In both their voices, rattling angry words out like birdsong. Ami couldn’t move. She couldn’t make any sound. And she certainly couldn’t scream anything horrid again. All she could do was listen and wait for someone else to notice.

The blankets tied tight around her stifled what little breath she could force in. Her body was cold and shaky, her throat parched as the sheets soaked through with sickening warmth. She smelled blood. Her own blood. Magpie. Her own blood. What was the difference? Her most precious–

A new scent wafted in. Before Ami could fully register it, her shadow’s hand fell gently over her mouth. No force, but a clear message nonetheless.

And Ami could only choke on silent screams as Kolo and Magpie spoke like she wasn’t even there. And Kolo had no idea. How could she? It wasn’t as if Ami and Magpie would give her the truth. One of them couldn’t and one of them wouldn’t.

Her head felt full of cold sand. The voices in her ears softened. It was cold. It was heavy. It hurt. It hurt so much.

Magpie started shrieking. Ami could barely hear it. She could barely feel her noncompliant body being torn from its restraints. Her consciousness slipped further with each shallow frantic breath. But before she passed out fully, she grasped one thing with stark clarity.

Him.

Master?

.....

May the fate you feared above all elsebe kinder to youthan one more day.

After far too much hesitation, Ami had finally gone out and scratched that meager prayer into Haode’s stone.

Then she’d felt many things she’d long forgotten how to feel. And she’d felt them hideously.

Magpie hadn’t liked that.

…..

Ami’s eyes opened halfway and there he was.

Xigon’s gaze permeated her like light through glass. Stared straight through the rot he once wouldn’t even glance toward. His bare hands held tight to her mangled body, his power instilling profound calm in what should have been a violent moment.

Ami wondered, detached from all relevant sensation, whether he was about to take her soul. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Perhaps he could be a gentler Destroyer than Kaosaan…

What am I even thinking?

Instinctive fear ripped through her already racing heart. Her mauled chest spasmed with a cough that made her taste iron. Now she didn’t even dare blink. Pathetic. Pathetic! To be just like her helpless patients at the end of the day? She couldn’t bear it.

Xigon’s thumb brushed across her cheek. Wiping away a tear she didn’t even know she’d shed. So much power in even his tiniest motions. How could it not be enough?

Had she really been searching in all the wrong places?

Another hand grabbed her numb fingers. A much smaller hand. Kolo’s voice barely broke through the haze. Ami heard something about learning the truth. Something about being unreasonable. Magpie. Valielit. A family heirloom. Grinner. Trust me. Trust me.

What?

How much time had even passed? Had she moved at all?

Kolo withdrew, leaving string tangled in Ami’s numb fingers. Ami managed to turn her head slightly, and she saw Kolo charging away like her life depended on it.

Magpie shrieked long and loud.

Ami’s hand clenched. Kolo’s talisman burned in her palm. A precious gift and a horrific gamble.

Kolo, what a wonder. What a fool.

With a sudden blaze of clarity, Ami lifted her head and spoke. Quietly, but still louder than she ever thought she could speak the words she had so desperately wanted to scream through the gags Magpie had strung through her so tight.

“Valielit is eating me alive.”

Ami watched Xigon’s eyes widen. She saw the question leave his mouth. Then she watched, feeling detached from it all, as her precious shadow lunged at the master of Styzia, sharp little nails going straight for his eyes. 

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 57 [Kolo]

Over the next week or so, Styzia was very loud.

Qila finding out about Xigon's brief torpor went over about as well as expected – that was to say, not at all. When Azvalath let it slip while they were training with Qila, the old woman's face had gone so purple with rage Kolo thought her head would explode. Or that she'd bite Aza's head off.

Only the interruption of Ami and Magpie having a screaming match saved their skins. Except it hadn't even been that. Evidently, Magpie alone was making all that noise. Which led to the question of when the argument she was echoing had originally happened. When asked, neither she nor Ami had answered in any way that made sense.

Kolo still couldn't hear as well. It was somewhat improved, but she still got told time and time again to quit yelling everything she said. Which only made her want to yell more.

Now, in the middle of the night, Kolo was in a spot she ended up more often as of late — sitting on Aza's bed while he sat at his desk, both of them searching through texts borrowed from the masters' shelves. Neither of them really knew what they were looking for. Perhaps anything that would clarify the increasingly turbid stretch they now navigated.

"Did you know there are these crocodile-looking dolphins in some blueholes that don't have any eyes?" Kolo turned her book to show an illustration. "They're creepy looking."

"Yeah, lots of old folks below have stories about how their uncle's neighbor's father-in-law lost some body part or another to a water monster." Aza didn't even look up from whatever he was reading. "I don't think a bestiary's going to have what you're looking for."

"It's not just a bestiary. It's all about 'unnatural beings.'" Kolo thudded the book back down. "And how do you know what I'm looking for?"

"I don't." Aza shrugged. "I just had a hunch it wasn't the habits of wildlife."

She scoffed and went back to reading.

While the eyeless zo-su still hold to many natural laws of beasts, not all do. Highly peculiar individuals may rear their heads now and again, becoming the stuff of campfire tales and superstition through generations. Often these beings live exceptionally long lives by the bloodline and power of the Iron God.

She glossed over several paragraphs of the author's rambling before something caught her focus again.

The notion of misfortune being repelled by lightningfishers' teeth has basis in the habit of a very real entity who is far from inconsequential to those living in what should be an undisturbed community, given its isolation from the rest of the remaining world.

"Oh fuck that." Kolo shoved the text aside. It fell down between Aza's bed and the wall.

Aza glared at her. "Could you not?"

She folded her arms and seethed. "Why can't I run away from that thing?"

His glare became a confused squint. "Are we still talking about eyeless crocodile-dolphins?"

"No!" If he was trying to be funny, it wasn't working. Kolo wriggled a ghost arm down to where the book had lodged itself and yanked it back up into her lap. Then she flipped through to find the page she'd been on. "Damn it, where's the page? It was talking about the Grinner."

Azvalath grimaced. He'd pull faces and get restless whenever Kolo brought her family's demon up. The horrid entity she'd used to free herself and then forget it all. Maybe he didn't want to see her in that way. Too bad, Kolo thought. It was what it was.

Kolo found the spot she was looking for. "Yeah, I didn't know anyone outside my family knew about him. When Vali and I were little our grandmother would try and scare us and tell us Linn would eat us up if we were too impatient, or if we did this or that thing that wasn't allowed." She shrugged. "She made Vali really upset when she suggested that was why her mom died."

"You mean Magpie?" Aza leaned forward a bit.

"Yeah." Kolo wasn't sure how she remembered it so clearly now. "Grandma didn't like Valielit. Or really anyone at all except for me. She'd say things like that and treat people like dirt, yet for some reason no one ever talked back to her. Then I figured out way later it was because she had the necklace. Hindsight's funny, right?"

"The more I learn about your family, the more I'm glad I don't remember much of anything about mine." Azvalath rubbed his eye like something was caught in it. "Though I can't say I wouldn't love a cousin to hang out with."

"Hm." Kolo stretched her arms. "What're you reading?"

Aza looked up and down. "Take a guess."

"Exceptionally brutal combat tactics?"

He gave her a side-eyed stare. "Poetry."

She huffed. "I can't believe you."

A smirk crossed his lips.

She rolled her eyes and then yawned – evidently loud enough to turn Azvalath's head. He cocked his head. "You're tired?"

Kolo shrugged. "You're not?"

Azvalath pushed whatever he was reading to the edge of his desk and stretched. "Mm. I'm exhausted. Doesn't mean I'll sleep well."

"Are you...doing all right?" Kolo asked with a tinge of hesitation. It still felt odd to ask. But if she'd learned anything about Aza lately, it was that he was dreadful at looking after himself. "A lot's happened lately. You need some rest."

He squeezed his eyes shut and sighed. "I still hear that damned holf anytime it's too quiet." His hand drifted up to scratch at his ear. "And did you know that when Master Xigon falls torpid, you can feel everything just stop? And you know him, you know he's not dead, but fuck, you can't convince yourself fully. You just can't."

"Maybe read yourself poetry when it's too quiet." Kolo cracked the tiniest smile. "Something sappy or funny, of course. Not something sad. Or remember me breaking its face."

Aza chuckled. "That was pretty amazing."

"And so were you, actually." Kolo scooted closer to the end of the bed. "Who knew putting the snake in torpor would give him back his spark?"

Azvalath shook his head. "What?"

Kolo slid off the bed and came up behind him. "Quit brooding and get some sleep, you poetry-sniffing jerkface." She gave him a gentle shove toward his bed. "I'm going to bed now."

She closed Aza's door quietly behind her. As soon as she was out in the hallway, she had to admit he was right about silence being disturbing. The walk back toward her room shared with Channei and Lalek felt like balancing on the edge of a knife. Not necessarily because it was too quiet, but with the anticipation of that quiet breaking.

And it did break. With the harsh voices of an angry Ami and a frightened Magpie.

Kolo turned around and followed it. She wasn't anywhere near as panicked as she'd been the first time hearing it, given what she'd found then and every time since.

Sure enough, when she came to the small room – more of a repurposed closet, really, – where Ami and Magpie had made their nest, Magpie was in there alone. Kolo opened the door to find her sitting cross-legged on a largely flattened pillow, twiddling her thumbs and absently smiling as she recited some past argument with uncanny accuracy.

"You'd better not be doing what I think you are, Magpie!" Ami's voice spilled out of Magpie's mouth. "Don't be askin' strangers for anything!"

Kolo cleared her throat.

"Oh, hi!" Her cousin raised a hand to wave. "Sorry. Was I being too loud?"

"Why are you doing that, anyway?" Kolo asked. "It's creepy. Did any of those arguments happen recently?"

"Well, they just did, didn't they?" Magpie pointed to her own mouth. "It's creepy?"

"Vali." Kolo took a step closer and closed the door behind herself. "I don't know when all these arguments happened or why, but if you need help – come to me, all right?"

Vali's eyes widened. "You'll help me?"

Kolo nodded. "Yes, of course."

"You're the best cousin." She brushed aside a strand of her hair – mostly white now. The dye had largely faded. "But why do you have Grandma's necklace?"

"Huh?" Kolo looked down at the lightningfisher tooth. "Oh, this?"

"Yeah, Grandma's." Vali pressed a finger into her teeth. "Did Grandma die?"

"She was really old when we were little and we've both been alive over two hundred years." Kolo nodded. "She probably is."

Vali stiffened. "Probably?"

"Stands to reason." Kolo bit her lip. She didn't want the whole truth to come out just yet.

Her cousin sighed. "That's good."

Kolo jolted. "Huh?"

"She hurt me." Vali clasped her temples. "They all hurt me! They all said my mama died because Linn ate her up for being jealous of your mama."

"Yeah, that wasn't right for them to say," Kolo pressed. "I don't know that any of them ever did a single right thing for either of us, you know? They wanted a little goddess for themselves, not a happy child."

"I hope they're all dead," Vali snarled. "I hope they're all dead and rotten!"

Kolo smiled miserably. "As luck would have it..."

"Oh, Kolo, you didn't!" Valielit's snarl turned to pure joy in a split second. "Look at you. Pity for the folks, their goddess was just."

Kolo couldn't suppress a laugh. This was not how she'd expected this conversation to go at all. "And now we're free of them forever."

Valielit clapped her hands. Then she gave Kolo a long look and grew heavy once more. "Hey, Kolo. If we're free of them forever – why are you still carrying them with you?"

Kolo looked down at her talisman. "Because this is mine."

Her cousin's shoulders sagged. "Can you take it off?"

"Huh?" Kolo backed up a bit. "Why?"

"It gives me bad memories." She shook her head. "I want my angel, not my nightmares."

A pang of guilt stirred in Kolo. She wasn't sure what to say. She didn't want her cousin to feel any more alienated, but she also didn't want to take her necklace off. It was hers, damn it. It protected her. From what exactly, she still wasn't entirely sure, but–

[basis in the habit of a very real entity]

She remembered the strange words on that page and she swallowed hard.

"Vali, I don't feel safe taking this off." She spoke carefully. "Please trust me, all right?"

"Wait, why? I..." Her cousin glanced around the room, then looked down. "I understand."

"All right." Kolo nodded. "Thank you. You're the best."

Valielit gave a shy smile.

Kolo opened the door and stepped back out into the hallway. As she shut it again, a sharp tingling sensation crawled down the back of her neck. Warily, she turned and saw him.

Master Xigon stood in the dark, eyes wide and ablaze with dreadful power.

"Hello?" Kolo whispered. "What's going on?"

Without even acknowledging her, Xigon made his way to the closet Kolo had just left. The look in his eyes was fearful, mad, hungry – hellbent on finding something that called only to him. He disappeared into the closet.

Magpie demanded something. Then she screamed horribly. Kolo gasped. She couldn't move a muscle. But that sound, it was–

Xigon emerged from the closet a second later, dragging out what looked like a roll of bedding. But when Kolo looked closer, she saw it was stirring. Xigon tore the blankets aside and lifted a silent, barely conscious Ami into his arms. The front of her shirt was all torn and damp. The iron stench of blood hit Kolo's nostrils so strongly she nearly vomited.

[lshark-cs]

Iron God Chapter 56 [Qila]

A knock sounded on her study door. "Master Qila? I need help."

"Ami?" The old woman looked up from her journal. "Come on in."

The door creaked open and Ami stumbled in. She looked like absolute hell, to put it lightly. Her eyes were squinted almost shut. Her skin was starkly pale, and she was shuddering as if febrile. She scarcely made it to the table, and when she sat down she nearly knocked her chair backwards.

"Please, pay attention." Ami stammered and stared off into space. "Please look closer."

Qila cocked her head. "Do you need some water?"

Ami jolted and blinked, as if waking from a nightmare. "Sorry, don't know what that was all about." She lifted a hand up to her mouth and pressed her fingers into her teeth, head tilting in a neurotic motion. "Where was I? Ah. Right. Ido needs help."

The master watched Ami's stiff, puppet-like movements for a moment and only found herself growing more disturbed. "Ido needs help? That's not what you said when you came in."

Ami's lips pulled into a slight grimace. "Yeah."

Qila reached out and felt Ami's forehead. It was scorching hot. "You probably know better than I do. What's a good fever remedy? Do I have any in my cabinets?"

Ami tipped her head up and sniffed the air. "Left wall cabinet, top shelf, third jar to the right. Make a tea of it and it'll ease your fever and any headache you've got." She smiled. "Feel better soon, Qila."

Qila bit her lip. This was only getting more disturbing by the second. Was Ami somehow unaware of her own condition? Or was something getting scrambled between her thoughts and her spoken words? She went to retrieve the herb Ami had sniffed out so precisely, then put a pot of water over the fireplace. All the while, she kept wary eyes on Ami. It seemed safest not to let her out of sight, and bizarre as it was, Qila felt some genuine concern for their strange intruder's well-being.

Ami fidgeted in her chair. "Why're you staring?"

"Could ask you the same," Qila quipped. "Neither of us seem all that good at manners, really."

"Screw manners." Ami chuckled. "Be animals instead, why don't we? We humans sure aren't plants. Just the most awful animals."

Qila shrugged. "Do you ever take care of animals?"

"Oh yes." Ami looked up. "I love 'em so much more than their lousy humans. One 'a my favorite people I've done business with thought the same damn thing." She leaned back and crossed her legs. "Piece 'a work serial horse thief, that guy, but I couldn't help but smile."

"Hm. Seems you know how to stay afloat one way or another." The old woman stared at the pot and wished it would boil already. "How's Rizval?"

"Gave 'em a stern talking-to and a follow-up exam." Ami tapped her fingers on the table. "Roughhousing like that with a broken collarbone? Unbelievable."

The master hummed. "Was it really a hunting accident?"

"I didn't do it if that's what you're askin'." Ami gave a halfhearted chuckle and let her head slump toward the table. "Just another day's work."

Finally, the kettle boiled. Qila poured a cup and put it on the table in front of Ami, who didn't really seem to acknowledge it apart from a twitch in her nose. Remembering Ami's strange deflection earlier, she told a white lie. "Will you taste this and make sure I brewed it to the right strength?"

"Sure thing." Ami grasped lazily at the cup, took a small sip, and then a huge gulp that probably burned her tongue. She chugged the whole cup like cold water in a drought. "Yeah, that's about right."

"Excellent." Qila took the seat across from Ami. "I'll admit, it's been interesting having you around."

"That good or bad?" Ami sniffed the inside of the now-empty cup.

The older woman shrugged. "It just is."

"Hm." Ami leaned forward again. She looked as if she were about to doze off.

Qila scooted her chair forward. "Did you know Magpie and Kolo were related?"

"Yeah, 'course I knew." Ami's lips tugged back in what could be a smile or a grimace. "They were tiny little things. So cute. But they weren't. One of 'em would always —"

Before she could finish the thought, Ami's jaw slammed shut hard enough that Qila swore she heard teeth cracking. The older woman stood up with a start. "They'd always what?"

"S...s..." Ami struggled visibly, growing paler and shakier by the second. "S...smile so pretty..."

A shuffling sound from the hallway punched through their strained exchange. Qila glanced toward the door as it opened again. In a startling burst of energy, Ami sprang across the table, grabbed the front of Qila's shirt, and shrieked like a crazed wild animal. "Master, help me!"

"Hey, hey!" Magpie rushed in and pulled Ami back from Qila, who could only watch in a mix of pity and confusion as the poisoner's shadow pulled her into a hug. "Bad thoughts again? Ami, you're all right. I'm right here."

Qila pursed her lips. "This happen often?"

"Not a lot anymore." Magpie eased Ami back into the chair. "But even Ami gets bad thoughts, you know? And I've gotta help her have nicer ones."

Qila watched Magpie's hand squeeze and pat Ami's shoulder and immediately hated what it reminded her of. She smiled anyway. "You two look out for each other, hm?"

"We sure do." Ami leaned back against the crooked backrest. Her voice was a modicum calmer now. "Elsewise we never would've gotten this far."

Qila masked her wariness as best she could. Nothing like a reflection to realize how bizarre something looked. Did either of them really think this was normal? What exactly was the nature of their relationship? And how had it come to be this way?

Maybe Kolo would have some insight. Assuming Kolo even wanted to talk. Everyone had been rougher lately.

She pushed a stray bit of gray fair out of her face and sighed. "I have so many questions, but I also get the feeling our children will stage a mutiny any second now."

Somewhere out on the cliffs, Yayaba let out a long high-pitched shriek.

"See?" Qila tried to laugh. "Even Yaya's worked up."

Magpie tugged Ami out of the room without another word.

Qila put her face in her hands and let out a heavy sigh. "You're a real headache, Ami." She mocked Ami's strange accent and rubbed her throbbing temples. "Reeeeaaal headache."

She went back to her cabinet of various herbs and grabbed the same jar she'd used to make tea for Ami. There was still plenty of water in the kettle, but it had already gone lukewarm, so she set it back over the fire.

While she waited for the pot to boil, Qila went to her desk and flipped to an empty page in her current journal. She wrote a quick, jagged entry. Ami is weaseling me over the edge. No, there had to be more to say, right? It wouldn't come to her.

"Details, Qila." She smacked herself on the forehead. "Details!"

That was an incredibly disturbing interaction we just had.

The quill trembled against the page. She glanced over at the fireplace. No steam yet. Tea water never heated up fast enough.

I'm not sure what I saw, but I didn't like what it reminded me of.

"Mm-hm." She pursed her dry, cracked lips.

Whatever Ami's deal is, she is mightily impatient. Like me, I suppose.

She shot another irate glare at the still-silent teapot.

There's nothing like a mirror to show something's truly hideous, is there? Now, at the very least, I am trying to respect everyone's space.

She underlined trying quite firmly, as if to remind herself. A small wisp of steam curled from the spout.

The tea kettle is boiling, finally. Her writing became frantic scribbles. So are we.

Qila went and got a different cup – no way she'd take Ami's old cup. Who knew what was in her spit? Then she tried her best to approximate a portion of the herb Ami had sniffed out. It didn't have much of a smell at all, not to her nose.

Out of nowhere, she remembered how Vraelen used to sleep in a field of wildflowers whenever he wanted to dream of beautiful chaos. How she'd poked fun at him for it and he'd insisted that was exactly how a field of wildflowers smelled.

Qila seethed. Her eyes stung. She wanted to stop seeing Vraelen everywhere without seeing him. She wanted him. All of him.

An unbidden tear rolled down her cheek and dripped onto the table.

The teapot boiled over in a steaming fury. In her frantic rush to contain it, Qila burned her left hand. Not too severe a burn, but it was still enough to throw her backwards in hissing agony. Haphazardly, she splashed just enough water into the cup, then she scrambled to get bandages.

Damn it. She didn't need anyone seeing her in this state. Once she had wrapped her burned hand, she put her finest pair of gloves on and returned to her writing desk. Nothing to see here.

I am burning.

She wrote that last line, then flipped back through the pages to find happier times.

Kolo is awake and thriving after completion of second ascension. Her new siblings are ecstatic. Crazy-happy. Lalek has taken over the kitchen for now, thank goodness – they're all eating like wolves as of late.

Qila smiled at the memory.

I suspect Ido needs more help than he lets on. I will watch over him carefully.

She'd been right about that, for certain, but she suspected he was now on his way to healing. Good. He deserved as much.

She had no idea how long she sat there reminiscing, but the old stories must have eaten hours, because her fireplace had burned down to the dimmest embers when Kolo let herself in uninvited.

Groggily, Qila looked up from her desk. "Kolo?"

"Sorry to bother you." Kolo glanced around the room and fidgeted. "I need some help if you have a minute."

"Of course." Qila turned her chair. "What's the matter?"

Kolo's shoulders sagged. "I don't think Vali knows what I did to our family." She looked down. "What should I tell her?"

Qila raised an eyebrow. "You think the truth won't work for you?"

The girl shook her head.

The old woman hummed. "Why not?"

"Well, when we were little, it was bad enough when our big cousin died, and we didn't even really know him." Kolo clenched her fingers. "Hey, something wrong with your hand?"

"Hm?" Qila glanced at her left hand. "No, why?"

"You keep holding it in the air like you don't want to touch anything with it." Kolo shrugged. "I guess I'll just get it over with and tell her the truth."

"A wise course of action." Qila rested her burned hand on the desk. "Be transparent and there'll be no room to twist your words, will there?"

"No." Kolo took a step back. "Um...have you seen her around, by any chance?"

"She was in here just a few..." She glanced at the almost-dead fireplace. "Just a while ago. She came in when Ami got worked up. Helped her calm down."

Kolo pursed her lips. "That's strange."

"Why's that?" Qila asked.

"Anytime Magpie's alone with me, she tells me about how Ami doesn't let her be." Kolo looked up. "You know, I really don't know which of them is in control anymore."