lucitumb1r

[lucitumb1r]

Hello, it looks like you caught me putting my name on your paper. How are you? AU

[lucitumb1r]

I cannot believe that we’ve never met when you’ve apparently been stalking my twin

[lucitumb1r]

Everybody is clapping for you, but I’m decently sure you were trying to rob me before I had a heart attack..

[lucitumb1r]

Dunno why you've got detention, but I've got a two person plan for getting out of here, you in? AU

[lucitumb1r]

Normally I kick people who fight out of here, but that was actually kinda hot

[lucitumb1r]

I was sitting across the street and noticed that this asshole blocked you from getting on what I assume is your bus to keep talking to you, can you pretend you know me? AU

[lucitumb1r]

Alright so I know that this is a hostage situation and that’s very important and all, but I could really go for a bite to eat AU

[lucitumb1r]

"Are you seriously asking me to join what is clearly a cult?" "No, I'm asking you to help me trick some suckers into joining a cult!"

AU

[lucitumb1r]

I see you come in here all the time and buy an absurd amount of books, and I have to know how you’re reading that much AU

[lucitumb1r]

'I keep seeing this weirdo in my dream and they're always doing something stupid. But I shouldn't text you about that, anyway, still good for meeting up this afternoon? Can't wait to meet you!' AU

[lucitumb1r]

"just write a little every day" ok but what if i write nothing for 3 weeks and then suddenly type like i’m being hunted by god

[lucitumb1r]

No officer, I’ve never seen this person before. We’ve never spoken a word to one another. Can you now please let me file a restraining order? AU

[lucitumb1r]

I have been trying to quit my job for the past 2 weeks but my new boss keeps blocking my attempts and now I’ve been invited to dinner so I’m just gonna announce my quitting after the boss makes their announcement AU

[lucitumb1r]

How do I tell this stone wall of a person that I have been laughing at seemingly random intervals because I can read minds and their deadpan narration is the best entertainment I’ve ever come across AU

[lucitumb1r]

Your motorcycle revving at 3am keeps waking me up because you fucking suck at it, let me show you how it’s done. AU

[lucitumb1r]

“So you were getting stalked and your first thought was to break into my apartment and pretend that you live here?”

“Yeah and I’ll pay you if you pretend to be my significant other. To scare off the stalker.”

[lucitumb1r]

Everyone is under the impression that I’m dating a person I’ve never met and now I kind of want to meet them, where are they? AU