gonna take a week off. love you madly!
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“I could fix him”; “I could make him worse!” Why??????? Why all this DIY???? I just wanna stand over his shoulder and see what he can possibly fuck up next
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“i can fix him” “i can make him worse” i can imagine him in little scenarios every night as i’m falling asleep
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Just a plug - if like me, you like to download from weibo and billibilli, this is my fave on-line downloader:
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Reblog if long-term writing has led to poor judgement
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for my 25,000th post i thought i would reblog my very first one! not sure why i thought starting a tumblr blog would render existence meaningful but i'm so very pleased by my discovery that it did not. and this was 2012, so just imagine! a time before trump, before pandemics, before proto-armageddon, before climate change had us locked in its sights. i don't know what my 50,000th post will be like but at least we're still here today. humanity persists, like plagues, like floods, like unendurable heat. and i'm still here today too. in the intervening decade and change i got a doctorate, survived an abusive relationship, lost my best friend, lost other friends, gained a bunch of new friends, both started and quit fan studies as a discipline, spent several months in the hospital, published one (1) book of poems, and posted something like 750k of fic, most of which is honestly pretty average but was a lot of fun to write. i just had matcha and a peanut butter sandwich, and now i'm going to take a nap, because it's sunday afternoon. i'm happy to be alive and be talking to you. i hope you are happy too. thank you for being here with me. <3
weather report
Nausea, uterine cramps, rage, self-hatred, suicidality, despair, shame, heartache, bleeding, pimples. Set up new Tumblr. Existence still pointless.
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next post will be very meaningful! better make sure it's not like, idk. bitch that's the tubby custard machine or something—
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me and the bad bitch i pulled by flogging him almost to death for killing my brother
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