lxnabeetv

[lxnabeetv]

Ah yes, my favorite character from the Captain America movies, PegingCarter.

[lxnabeetv]

rip magneto you would have loved killing elon musk

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on Iron Man 3 (2013)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

Sorry for the INSANELY long wait of... what was it, 6 weeks? Life hit the fan a bit, but I've been watching every other day with my boyfriend the last week or so. I've been meaning to write reviews buuuuuuut I felt like playing PowerWash simulator a bit TOO much.

Well... this was quite an interesting movie. This wasn't as good as Captain America by a LONG shot but it wasn't quite as boring as Thor. The bar is quite low, but still. Iron Man 3 was an up and down and upside down absolute clusterfuck of emotions. While it fell flat in a few parts, the movie was overall pretty decent.

It was nice to briefly see Yinson again for the Swiss flashback. It was also great to see DUM-E, my favorite moronic robot with his absolutely adorable charm again. Seeing the dunce cap on him was fucking hilarious. I love DUM-E so goddamn much.

I feel so bad for poor Tony. He's clearly going through PTSD, and I can't blame him for it. He's just... a guy. It sucks that he was kinda forced to go up to wherever the fuck the Chitauri are. He's still as witty and crazy as before, just struggling more. He's doing the best he can, and I love him dearly for it.

The Mandarin made for an absolutely hilarious villain. I genuinely wasn't expecting him to be a facade for Killian. Trevor is just a silly little guy and a genuine contender for one of my favorite characters in this movie.

Pepper underwent so much shit in this movie. I feel so bad for the poor woman. She had to deal with Killian, then tortured by Killian to get Extremis, then almost died falling into a fiery pile of metal. She's such an absolute badass. I adore her.

Maya on the other hand... she's a bit fucked up but I didn't hate her. She was a bit boring, to be honest. Her creation is sick as hell, but I honestly just found her dull. I feel bad that Killian shot her, but she was kinda dull to me.

Rhodey continues to be one of my favorite characters. He's such a serious yet playful guy, and I adore him for it. He's a lowkey badass and honestly a gem of a character.

Another total gem was Harley. He's so cute and so annoying in the best way. I love how well he messes with Tony in a way only a kid can. He's quite possibly one of my favorite minor characters. To be fair, I say that about a lot of characters. But I mean it this time!! He was super helpful while also pissing Tony off.

Speaking of minor characters, was that Jenna Ortega???? The little girl in the wheelchair that the VP was trying to get Extremis for???? That looks like little Jenna Ortega. (I looked it up and it is.)

The ending scene was insane and I loved every second of it. Watching all the suits fly around made my heart leap in the best way. I was so invested and I loved how Tony had different nicknames for each suit. Pepper also being able to help hold her own during the fight was stellar. Plus the suit fireworks... god DAMN what a good ending. Also, welcome back Happy! I'm glad you woke up :)

The "therapist" falling asleep while Tony was talking was absolutely fucking hilarious. It honestly took me waaaaaaaayyyyyyy longer than it should've to realize that it was Banner. Either way, their relationship is so freaking adorable. I love them dearly.

My tidbits in Rivals:

Iron Man's Armor Model 42 skin

My rating: 7/10. A solid movie all around. Trevor was adorable, the iron suits all flying in was great, and Harley was just the sweetest lil kid. High points and low points, as all movies have, but mostly pretty high. The Stan Lee cameo was 10/10 as always. However, now that I've seen this one, I'm concerned for my sanity, as the next movie is a Thor movie and we all know how I felt about the first one. Praying it's better. Please God, let it be better.

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on The Avengers (2012)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

It's been a while since I posted my last review (TLDR I now have a job). So on my week off, I decided to do a lil bit of catching up. And now dear GOD it's time to watch (and mayhap cringe) at The Avengers. Let's dive right in.

OK so first and foremost, what the FUCK are they doing to the Tesseract?? Secondly, how the FUCK is Loki alive??? I mean, he's a god and Asgardians are thought to be immortal, but holy shit.

For the "Robin Scherbatsky" comment at the end of my review on Captain America, Smulders played Agent Maria Hill. She was kind of a badass, but I have no fucking idea how the fuck she survived the cave collapsing around her in the beginning.

The movie was fast-paced and action-packed, just the way I like them. Every character was snarky and lovable... except for Thor (for the most part). I am not a huge fan of Thor. Not just the movie apparently; the whole character of Thor. His "he's adopted" line was GOLD, but his character was otherwise pretty dull. Yes, it was fascinating to watch him and Iron Man get in a fight and really cool to watch him light the Empire State Building up. Otherwise, anything with Thor was lowkey dull.

Loki, however, made for an entertaining villain. Him destroying the car was very amusing. I turned to my boyfriend and said "Damn, Loki really just said fuck the police" and he visibly cringed at my comment. Loki was very snarky and egotistical and amusing. The SFX for his armor were amazing.

Speaking of SFX... the Chitauri look absolutely terrifying, though I'm mad at their name. My phone kept auto-correcting them to "chianti" as I was taking notes, which is NOT the same thing. Maybe the Chitauri drink chianti, who knows? Chianti-Chitauri mix-ups aside (try saying THAT five times fast), there were so many tense scenes and amazing lines and funny moments throughout the film.

OK, so, Tony Stark honestly should've been named Tony Snark because good LORD, that man knows how to fit in some great one-liners. He's witty and a lot more lovable than he was in Iron Man (2008). My favorite moment of his was either when he Jonah-ed the Chitauri ship or when he flew the nuke to the Chitauri. I was so scared for him and so glad when he woke up. And him adrenalized talking about shawarma... I was giggling like a maniac.

Hawkeye... I felt so bad for the poor guy in the beginning, so when he came back around I was cheering like crazy. He had some insane shots and funny moments, and God DAMN him shooting the Chitauri blind was GORGEOUS. And him shooting at Loki with the arrow... I fucking loved watching Loki catching it and then promptly getting exploded. He's an insane shot and an entertaining watch.

And Widow? WHAT. A. BADASS. I love her so much. Her beating the shit out of some Russian dudes while Coulson was on the phone was just hilarious. She outwitted Loki so beautifully that I was totally blown away. I lowkey ship her and Hawkeye TBH, but I suppose you never know with the MCU. Either way, she was an absolute unit. Her using Cap's shield to commandeer a Chitauri ship... what a moment!

TBH, my favorite hero is probably Cap. He's just... a guy. The $10 scenes between him and Fury were AMAZING. Him silently handing Fury the money was personally the funniest moment in the film. I will say, however, Cap's pre-costume outfit was ATROCIOUS. A plaid shirt with tweed pants?? WTF???? He saved so many civilians and showed down the cops when they challenged him in the process. The "Hulk? Smash." line was gold, and him using his shield to refract Iron Man's beam... what a genius idea. Cap is 100% one of my favorite characters in the MCU thus far.

My other candidate for favorite hero is the Hulk. Ho. Lee. Fuck. He's not quite as witty as Iron Man or as badass as Widow, but he seems very well-rounded overall. Him beating the shit out of Loki was one of my favorite moments by far, and him saving Iron Man had me in tears. I'd honestly forgotten all about him by that point. My notes for the Hulk saving Iron Man scene were as follows:

omg iron man sending the nuke to the chianti??? (fuck you autocorrect) TONY NOOOOO NUKE EM ALL BUT NOOOOO TONY YES HULLKKKKKK YESSSSSSSSSS TONY?!?! NO YESSS HULK I LOVE YOU please tell me nobody kissed me lmao

So yeah, Hulk is 100% in the A-tier of characters, possibly even S tier. I really need to make a tierlist now, huh?

Nick Fury has made his way into my higher-tier characters as well. Him telling the council that they made a stupid-ass decision made me cackle like a damn hyena. Him telling the Avengers about Coulson's cards had me broken up, but Hill calling him on his BS made me understand his motivation to assemble the Avengers. He's a bit crazy, pretty smart, and HELA (see what I did there with the Asgardian joke?!?!) entertaining.

The ending was something I should've predicted - a hidden safety in the device. It's an easily guessed plot "twist," but I genuinely didn't expect it. And Stark tower being Avengers tower... I should've seen THAT coming but it was still cool either way.

I'm adding a new segment just before my rating called "Tidbits in Rivals" for when I recognize a power, weapon, or random line that the say in the game. Here they are:

Loki's scepter

Loki's clones & stealth abilities

The "Puny God" achievement (I predicted the line before my boyfriend, and he's seen the film before)

Hawkeye/Black Widow having a team-up for reasons other than being snipers

Iron Man missiles

My rating: 8/10. There was a MAGNIFICENT lack of elongated muskrats and stellar SFX. The writing was amazing and very intense, though slightly campy at parts. So much snark from Iron Man, Banner, Fury, Pepper, and Loki. RIP Coulson, you will be very much missed. Thank you for serving as the Avengers' catalyst though.

[lxnabeetv]

i love u cheesecake

A Rat's (Belated) Thoughts of Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

sjkkkksk - Salt

mmmmm..n. mm - Pepper

[lxnabeetv]

okay ik that Thor can't get drunk on earth drinks or whatever but what about the othr stuff. what would heroin do to Thor odinson

[lxnabeetv]

A Rat's (Belated) Thoughts of Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

sjkkkksk - Salt

mmmmm..n. mm - Pepper

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

After the... well, harsh... review I gave last night, it's time to watch Captain America. And dear God, that means it's also review time.

For starters, the Tesseract was brought in again. I had TOTALLY forgotten about due to the melatonin-inducing film that was Thor. This German not-see was... interesting. I recognized him as Hydra, as the Hell's Heaven map is, y'know, Hydra-themed.

To continue, this movie exceeded my wildest expectations. Amazing CGI, entertaining plotlines, explosions, snark out the wazoo, Bucky Barnes, stellar makeup effects, and Rockette-esque dancers selling bonds. What in the Kentucky fried fuck happened between Thor and now?? Thor was so mid, but this was so good!!

Plenty of snark, by Bucky, Cap, and the Colonel; plus, a hero that I could actually root for! Cap is clever, witty, and determined as hell. He has so many funny bits, including where he got beat up, asked about the bathroom, and asking Agent Carter about fondue-ing Howard Stark. Cap is also a badass for saving 400 men from a not-see prison just to save Bucky. Like holy shit, dude, you're a legend for that. Yeah, Bucky falls off a train later, but you did what you set out to do AND proved yourself in the process.

Johann Schmidt made for an INSANE villain. Very good performance and a very fitting demise to the Tesseract. Extra amazing SFX on him, especially when Cap hit him in the eye.

Dr. Zola was an oddly familiar presence on screen, thus causing me to turn to IMDb yet again. Toby Jones, better known to me as the voice of Dobby in the Harry Potter world (I am very autistic about Harry Potter). Speaking of Harry Potter, when Schmidt takes off his human mask, he looks like a cherry lollipop version of Voldemort. I told my boyfriend this and he started laughing so hard he had to mute.

Cap's design may be campy at first, but it was very adorable. The (maybe?) Rockettes were not expected, but very fun to watch. Cap knowing how to draw was something I didn't know I needed to know until I saw it.

Agent Carter is the fucking GOAT. Slapping that disrespectful asshole, snarking with Cap, and their kiss towards the end was a ticking time bomb I couldn't wait to see explode. She is so clever and charming and DAMN I saw the sparks fly immediately.

Slight side-tangent; the Colonel yelling that he wasn't also kissing Cap was fucking HILARIOUS. The Colonel was kind of an ass at times, but very wittily so. I enjoyed watching him and his snark.

I have two notes on my paper that both read "NO BUCKY :(" and dear God, this film was a rollercoaster of emotions. I was so excited that Bucky was showing up this early! And then heartbroken when he was captured by the not-sees. Then overjoyed (and amused) when Cap rescued him. Bucky and Cap have the most amazing chemistry and- oh wait, now he's dead for real this time(?). I am going to piss my pants in sorrow.

I had no idea Howard Stark would be making appearances in this. The vibranium shield, so iconic. Stark finding the Tesseract was unexpected, but it ties into Dr. I-Grew-Up-On-Norse-Mythology's appearance at the end of Thor.

My rating: 9.5/10. The ending was heartbreakingly beautiful. Cap coming back into 2011 was so sad, yet so sweet. The "recovery room" on the other hand was so fucking surreal to me. I wish we had seen more Cap and Bucky, but perhaps another time. I wish they could bring Agent Carter forward in time as well so she can be with Cap. They were AMAZING together. There were so many adorable callbacks, from "You're late" to "I had him on the ropes," which tied in well when Cap appears in the post-credits scene doing some boxing.

Alright, one last part that I almost forgot...

In the post-credits scene, I spotted Loki (who is apparently alive after jumping off the Bifrost), Hawkeye, Widow, Nick Fury, Thor, Iron Man, Cap, Mark Ruffalo as the new Bruce Banner, and....... Robin Scherbatsky from How I Met Your Mother???? I have no idea who the fuck Cobie Smulders is going to be, but I'm hyped as hell for The Avengers and whatever crazy villain they're gonna face next. Captain America very much recaptured my interest after the last two films were rated by yours truly as mediocre. What a fucking film. If I didn't have such dry eyes from allergies, I would've cried at least once. RIP Dr. Erskine & Bucky and please for the love of all things holy find a way to bring Agent Carter back.

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on Thor (2011)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

Well, if I thought Iron Man 2 was lackluster, then this was just DULL. There were some good parts, yes, but most of the time, I prayed for my power to go out. The visual effects were amazing, the acting was good, but I was just... bored. The story was mid, and I was honestly just staring at my TV to study the VFX and see if it was over yet.

As a mythology fan, this was fucked every way but loose. Sure, this was written to be dramatic, but Jesus Christ. Odin raising Loki as his son was particularly baffling to me, as Loki and Odin are described as blood brothers in traditional Norse mythology. And yes, there are discrepancies to mythology, but this felt done solely to create drama. I was honestly just... lost for 90% of the film.

Alright, so random autism detail time:

I enjoyed the nod to Hawkeye in the scene with the hammer in the crater.

Tom Hiddleston as Loki was very good and I can see where Loki gets his clone powers from.

Why the fuck did Loki appear to kill himself??

Idris Elba as Heimdall was VERY hot with those amber contacts. Go Heimdall!!

The Bifrost looked like a realistic version of Rainbow Road from Mario Kart. It's almost like... the Bifrost... is a rainbow road........

I love Kat Dennings' snark.

The stunts were done very well. CGI was amazing.

How the fuck did Loki not know he was a frost giant??? I KNEW HE WAS A FROST GIANT (BECAUSE I READ THE MYTHOLOGY).

Josh Dallas did a great job with his whatever-the-fuck-accent-he-was-doing. Between that and the wardrobe choices, I genuinely did not recognize him until I opened IMDb. Which is wild, as I've rewatched Manifest, a show he had a leading role in, more times than I care to admit.

How many times did Loki cross Thor what in the Skibidi McFuck?? (Sorry, someone at work said that phrase recently and I'm making anyone who reads this know about it.)

My rating: 5/10. The movie was kinda boring, but it was something to watch. I'd rather watch this than watch paint dry, but I'd rather watch an entire 13-hour Otzdarva DBD tierlist without stopping than to rewatch Thor. It's not the worst thing I've ever seen (cough cough, the new Snow White film, cough cough), but this is dead last in my rankings thus far. The only real reason I liked it was because of the VFX. The plot was so convoluted that I felt like I got dropped into the middle of a random feud and I think my brain shorted out recalling all this shit.

At this point, I can't tell if I dislike superhero movies or if the ones I've seen are just... not for me. But I'm in too deep. I have four Lords in Marvel Rivals. I can't peel my eyes away. I need to learn about my loves Storm, Luna, C+D, and Adam... alas, Adam is in Guardians 3, and Storm is in X-Men, which is apparently different from the MCU (kill me). Please dear God, let the next movie recapture my interest. Amen.

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on Iron Man 2 (2010)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

Following The Incredible Hulk, this movie felt... kinda lackluster. Not horrible, but not quite as good as I was hoping for. The Senate hearing was somehow both interesting and a snooze-fest, though, to be fair, government processes are usually a snooze-fest. Stark provided some amusing quips, though his ego is still a bit frustrating to watch. The cheerleaders at the Expo were totally unnecessary overall, but their choreography execution was amazing.

Ivan Vanko is a very complex villain. I liked the idea of him more than him, if that makes sense. A crazy Russian guy trying to take down Iron Man was entertaining, and I did enjoy him humbling Stark by showing up in an electric-powered suit. The CGI was amazing in this movie as well. The scenes on the Monaco track were intense. I was intrigued, but not quite as intrigued as I was when watching Hulk.

Hammer, on the other hand... what a self-absorbed prick. I fucking hate that guy. Massive entitled douchebag, deserved to get played by Vanko, etc. The Ex-Wife missile bit was GOLD, though. Rhodey hypes the moment up, missile does nothing, Tony asking if it was a Hammer product... too funny and an absolute gem of a moment.

Fury asking Stark to exit the donut was SENDING ME. That party was insane and I am mad at Tony for not listening to Pepper, when she is clearly just trying to help and do her job. Tony has basically no respect for her, also buying her strawberries that he should know she's allergic to. And Rhodey stealing the suit... how does he get away with that? XD

I was not expecting ScarJo to show up this early as Black Widow, but I absolutely ADORE her. The scene where Happy takes out a guard while she takes out like six was HILARIOUS. I fucking love ScarJo, and Widow is such a fucking badass.

I was not expecting Coulson to take off like that, and the CAPTAIN AMERICA TEASER?? I'm super excited to see Cap, though I absolutely despise playing him in Rivals. The end scene where Coulson found Thor's hammer... I gasped. I LOVE mythology, and am looking forward to watching Thor next from a mythological standpoint.

Also, Tony and Pepper FINALLY kissed. I fucking CALLED IT. She is head over heels, is she not?? I don't think she deserves him cuz Tony lowkey sucks, but he IS very entertaining to watch.

Tony creating the new element would've been a GREAT place to bring back the fire extinguisher robot, and I'm fucking mad they didn't. I loved that lil guy!!

My rating: 6.5 or 7/10. Mid, but entertaining nonetheless. Very good CGI, very intriguing villain, and SCARJO KILLING IT!! This is honestly probably my favorite of the Iron Man movies thus far, making this my second favorite movie I've seen thus far. It felt very long, but that might just be because I have the attention span of a McChicken on fire. Less uncomfy parts than the original, but missing the charm of the fire extinguisher robot being a cutie. At least the smoothie bot got to be a cutie instead.

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's Thoughts on The Incredible Hulk (2008)

>SPOILERS AHEAD<

For starters, I was surprised to see Edward Norton as Bruce Banner, as I know Mark Ruffalo to be the current MCU's Hulk. I was expecting Ruffalo, but Norton did a good job.

Where to begin from there... I can understand why Hulk wants his powers eliminated, but I'm concerned that he's going about it completely wrong. The scene where he bled in the beginning, I have no fucking clue how so many factory workers were so blind to the fact that there was blood on one of the bottles. Yes, it made for a good Stan Lee cameo and furthered along the plot, but that was just wild to me.

When the forces burst into Banner's home, I was very mad that they shot the dog. It's a fucking dog. Why the hell would you hurt a lil pupper like that?? He didn't deserve that! :(

The chase scenes that followed were very intense. I have no idea how the hell Banner escaped to Guatemala from Brazil that quickly, but perhaps since his Hulk form is larger, he can travel further in less time. Also the fact that he was wearing a bright red hoodie??? I know it made it easier for the viewer to track him, but that's kind of a bad call if you're trying to blend in and no one else is wearing red.

Banner is a bit weird for stalking after Betty, though I honestly can't blame him for wanting to see her. The Stanley's pizza is another adorable nod to Stan Lee. I honestly thought that Stanley was Betty's dad. It came as a shock to me later that the General was her dad. I had to pause the movie for a second to process, as my brain runs like Internet Explorer on Windows 98.

Seeing Phil from Modern Family was wild to me, due to the fact that I had no idea he was in the MCU (even for just a small part). During the scene on the campus lawn where Hulk shields Betty from the fire, Ty Burrell did an excellent job with expressing his character's despair in thinking Betty died. Fuck the General... for now, of course.

Blonsky is clearly a power-hungry monster, and Tim Roth does an excellent job at being a self-obsessed douchebag with a craving for being the best. He was a very convincing villain, and I enjoyed watching him. I was amazed that Blonsky managed to survive getting slammed into a tree. The CGI for both the Abomination and Hulk were insanely good, especially for the time. My eyes were glued to the screen the entire fight scene.

Slight detour into the scene with the taxi, watching Betty rage at the driver and Banner talking about anger management techniques was GOLD. I was giggling for a solid minute about that one.

Now for Mr. Blue... FUCK Mr. Blue. I know he's a scientist and what the fuck ever, but why the hell would you make so many samples with Banner's blood?? That's a disaster waiting to happen. I did, however, enjoy the detail that Mr. Blue was, in fact, wearing blue when he first showed up onscreen. That was a very good touch.

Doubling back to the fight scene, I was quite scared that Banner would die when falling into the city, but the suspense was perfect and I believe I verbally cheered when I saw his Hulk hand reach up. I also have no idea how the fuck Betty and the General survived the helicopter crash. I mean yeah, plot armor, but logically speaking, that was... peculiar. Hulk clapping his hands to save them was absolutely mind-blowing and kinda cool. I can see where his M2 attack in Rivals comes from now.

My rating: 9/10. I was very entertained the whole time, and the visual effects were stunning. All of the characters are rounded out quite well, and the CGI was extremely impressive, especially with this movie being released in 2008. This is my favorite MCU movie so far, and I can't wait to see what happens next.

[lxnabeetv]

A Marvel Newcomer's (Belated) Thoughts on Iron Man (2008)

>SPOILERS AHEAD< NOTE: I watched this movie on 2/14/2025. My memories about the film are a bit hazy, but I am doing my best to remember by reading text chains with my friends.

So, this was my first introduction into the MCU, outside of playing Rivals with my friends. In the beginning, I found it difficult to root for Iron Man. Enjoyable snark, but overall a massive prick to start. The movie was quite campy yet also charming. Several parts seemed ridiculous, almost like an "and then everyone clapped" Reddit story (ie. Yinsen's speech as he dies).

I absolutely adored the fire extinguisher robot. Somehow as sassy as Stark himself, but a million times more lovable off the bat. Pepper is clearly head over heels for Tony, between the fact that she changes his batteries and does everything but wipe his ass for him. I think she deserves better. Side note: I LOVE the name Pepper Potts. It's so cute and peppy.

Overall, I quite enjoyed the movie. Slow at a couple of points, but entertaining as hell when there was action on screen. The fight scene was good, and watching Stane's defeat was quite satisfying. The end scene where Tony reveals himself to be Iron Man caught me considerably off-guard, but also left me wanting to see the impact after the reveal.

My rating: 7.5/10. Again, very campy but also very charming. Slightly slow but overall entertaining. A few confusing and uncomfy parts (Pepper changing the battery, for one), but overall a good watch.