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#7: Rain

Depression can take its different forms. For now, it falls like rain, its many strikes that build into something icy.

Personally, I feel stuck. Who am I supposed to be, and who are we supposed to be? What am I supposed to do? What role do I play? Is there any point, when the ending seems so inevitable? I can't seem to find the right answer.

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guess whose turn it is with the long front

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#6: Back of this mind

Why did I make this animated. Have I not learned anything.

Anyways, getting new members these days is very stressful for us- Dhole's whole sys got "locked away" in a sort of fashion due to there being too many members. This brain can only handle so many at once, it seems, and so, each new person brings a wave of dread.

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Yes, we are both.

Apathy can differ depending, Cardinal is generally very apathetic, but lately more and more apathy has been creeping into everyone. Emotions tend to differ a lot from person to person, though. Sometimes it feels like each person got one emotion to hold onto cuz they couldn't handle anything else lol.

Nobody is social, but some do better in social situations than others. I actually can handle more socialness. There's also the difference of "masking" and "accepting" I would say. Moth isn't too bad in public, but isn't really good at masking perse.

Most of us are not motivated at all to do anything more difficult than drawing lol, except for Wolf and kind of Dhole.

But really, it affects everyone in a big way. Everything is just a drag all the time.

Ok while the topic is on my mind, are there any systems on here with schizoid pd? Or alternatively any schizoids who are systems? Whichever way u wanna think of it.

Could you tell us if/how your symptoms look different for different sysmates? Like for example do you have anyone who might be genuinely socially inclined? Or has less apathy, can feel emotions more, etc etc.

Can comment if you don’t feel like reblogging or respond anonymously in an ask if you prefer. We would just really like to hear from other people about this overlap

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#5: Aspartame

Whatever traits we get involving this head and this life tend to actually have nothing to do with ourselves. There's this thing I experience- a certain kind of high that's different from our average, cyclical high. Something of a dopamine enhancer.

This may sound appealing to some people in the audience, but it is NOT. At least, not for me. I hate acting like some happy-go-lucky person; that's not who I am at all. I'm cool, collected, serious- but sometimes, the "aspartame" fills my head and I can't help but feel like such an idiot.

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#4: Addictions 🧨

I like the way cuts look, and I like the way they feel, painfully new or scabbed over. Still, I say its only for the aesthetics, but right now, when I'm feeling so fucking low, the urge to add some more becomes stronger.

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#3. Pulled in two directions

I'm the only one active from LunSol, the only one not locked behind whatever kind of barrier this is. I think, in the end, this because I'm somewhat of the "original person," and they are all apart of me- but not this present system.

My connection to them is still strong. I feel like they're right there, but locked away. And some days I feel overwhelmed by the loneliness of them not being here. And I feel pulled towards them.

Other days, though, I feel apathetic. I feel distant, embarrassed even, of feeling so negatively. The present is different than the past, and I just want to feel okay in this version of my head. Its not like I hate this new system (well, most of the time), and I desperately need the company. And I feel pulled towards them.

I just feel stuck in the middle- pulled by two different forces recklessly and with abandon.

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Our system & mental health-related art blog.

More info on us under the cut.

Though we are obviously plural, we prefer non-plural language when applicable (ex. member > headmate). But if you MUST, then plural > system and alter > anything else. We use I & we interchangebly

Metaphysical origins, trauma-based. Pro ALL system types. We could not care less if you fakeclaim us, but be my guest.

We are schizospec, so we sometimes fuck up our words or don't really explain things well enough. We also tend to get paranoid about sharing anything about ourselves sometimes, so things will probably tend to be vague-sounding and I may delete posts sometimes.

We're also very socially inept, what with the schizoness and the horrible social anxiety, so we may not be great at responding to anyone, sorry.

DNIs are annoying, I'll just block you if I don't like you.

Collectively, we go by Red- if we're blurry or the post isn't about anyone specific, we'll tag as "no one in particular." But non-system art posts will not be system tagged at all.

Members:

Wolf || 🔻 || Cohost-ish

Cardinal || ⭕ || Emotion destroyer

Dhole || 🍒 || Host-ish, old system rep

Moth || 📍 || Stable person

Vulture || 🧨 || Memory holder for some reason

Crow || 🛑 || Dopamine struggler

Fox || 🧰 || Can be social without killing himself

Owl || ❌ || If edgy aesthetic photos were a person

Rabbit || ⛑️ || Normal person

Hawk || ❓ || Bites the hand that feeds

Our regular art account: @blueyouaway-art

Personal blog - @disappearing-rotting

Blog we interact with: @blue-n-red

May update this later, but for now, that's all.

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#2. Existing

It doesn't matter what you do, you can never stop BEING. This cycle will continue, so long as you continue.

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#1. Something

Comic about a real convo. Does this even mean anything to anybody else