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Design your life, or someone else will design it for you

     This may come as a shock to those that know me personally but I am not proud of my life. I have lots of things that people belief should make me happy: wife, kids, and all the things makings of a typical American family. The problem is I NEVER wanted to be typical. I yearn for an opportunity to be great but yet in still all of my actions are mired in mediocrity.

     I believe this is due to the fact that I have failed to design my own life. I allowed the choices and needs of others to prioritize what's important in my life and as a result I feel like a servant to the people I love and work for. As such, I have simply become a function in the life of others no longer leaving a mystery as to why I live life so unfulfilled. I am living the life someone else has determined for me by "MY" choice or better yet my failure to choose.

     In order to break free of the depression and learned helplessness that has taken over my life I will begin the journey to live my OWN life, by design.

To some this may seem simple, but to someone who has lived a lifetime in service to others and has never sought to achieve their own dreams and desires it the absolute highest of mountains to climb. It will be a struggle but I have finally realized the necessity of this corrective action for my health and sanity. With the help of a powerful book I have discovered by Greg Mckeown (Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less) as a primary guide I will strategically strip away clutter from my lifestyle and begin building a foundation reflective of the priorities that I HAVE CHOSEN.

My Life My Design. My Happiness.

    -Words by Mr. Lawrence Douglas

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     Quite a lot has changed since I last spent time here. New job, new outlook on life. Of course all the new things I am involved in come with their own NEW set of challenges. My passion for writing has been re-ignited via a journal that I have begun to keep and with that I have decided to share some things here on my new blog. I have discovered that writing is indeed essential to me as a creative outlet, so I will use this platform to display it's products.

Welcome BACK! Words by Mr. Lawrence Douglas

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Decisions

  We make them and they in turn, create us. They are what separates one man from the next, the effective difference between us. Some are good, others are bad. Yes, there are an entire host of motives to help us arrive at our decisions but it’s the actual choice that matters. Once we process all the data that our hearts and minds collect the decision is still ours’ and ours’ alone. The devil can’t make you do it, you are the devil. You are also God in that you choose what will manifest in front of you (or behind you for that matter) based upon your decisions.

                  At times it feels that our decisions “own” us. WE can become “trapped” or “cornered” by the very choices that we have made leaving us to feel that we only have one choice to make. Forced to continue along our current path for fear of choosing to do the difficult thing. But is that really true? There is ALWAYS a choice, whether or not we are prepared to deal with the ramifications of that choice is an entirely different story. “I can’t do that!” “There’s no way that’ll work.” So often our decisions are already made before we even put them to thought. Careful not to dedicate too much time to thinking lest we forget not making a choice, IS a choice. You have decided to agree. You agree with and condone whatever is the status quo. And contrary to what you may feel if the status quo is not agreeable to you, it was your decision to go along with it, the second you chose not to decide.

                  Of all the things in this land that a man can own his decisions are one of the few that cannot be taken away from him. They are yours and yours alone. They are a gift of the most precious value and should be treated as such. Do not cast your pearls before the swine, guard them with all your being and realize that if you don’t make them, they will make you.

  -M.o.S

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Top 10 Things I've learned While Being Unemployed for 8 months

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6 Degrees

January 2nd, the date of my of separation And ever since that day I've tried to remain patient Applications, interviews and job search sessions Apologies Mr. Douglas we're going in a different direction Unemployment running out and short on the rent At least for America I'm longer part of the 10% Of the citizens who don't have job Cuz once that insurance runs out your no longer their prob Its hard as hell to try and change industries Cuz standing posts couldn't handle financial securities My wife and I 2 by 2 like we on Noah's Ark But as of late my psyche has become abundantly dark Always worked hard made sure That I was the best But shady ass bosses always wanna pay you less and less And when you build up the gall to ask for what your worth They toss yo ass to the curb and dump you in the dirt I need success but find failure causing trauma, pain instead But need to feed my family, FUCK Mr. Potato Head And I KNOW I AM A KING but I never got my crown It's hard to become royalty when you gotta raise that child Burdens on my shoulders, now burning all my motives down Inspiration drying up, motivation slowing down Shocked, like someone hit me with a taser Feeling like Lupe Fiasco in Beautiful Lasers Because there's only 2 ways, out, of, here One's through the maze, the other is the end of days. Got my head spinnin' trying figure out how winner's lose and loser's be winnin' Like I hit flop with the nuts expecting to gain much but his lucky ass hit the river runner, runner flush And I know you thinking damn LD I know you tougher than that But you only know the front cover you never read the back, Ground story while I was coming up, when I started hustling just to try and fill my cup What I've become I was never meant to be The Compton streets said I would be done by 23 So don't get wrong trust me y'all I'm still gonna play my cards I'm just wondering how many times your boy can beat the odds So if you got a tip or lead don't keep it on the shelf Cause I know there is no way I can do this by myself So for you folks that did me wrong you'll have your day in court And for my fam that's had my back thank you for you support - L.D.

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Crappy Clothing

Why is it that all of these retailers that “cater” to bigger men always stock thee ugliest, most uncomfortable, out of style clothing.  It looks like everything is for a retired detective retiring to Florida or something.

Don’t we have the right to look good too.  Why are our smaller counterparts provided the newest fashions from the new and stylish quality manufacturers? 

These are the things that go through my mind

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What I'm Wearing

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HOV responds to Cuba controversy and more.

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Next Time Don't Jump Lil NIGGA!!

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Liana d’Abreu

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Confidence isn't an accessory, it's an outfit all unto itself

Man Of Stature (L.D.)

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It's quite hard to think amongst noise. Bare in mind that the most troublesome noise is not audible

Man of Stature (L.D.)

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An open letter to @SteveStoute

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On To The Next One…

Yesterday I completed the termination of my employment at my current job. I was truly done there in more ways than one. It was long since time for me to leave as the business relationship there had begun to sour at an alarming rate. Without assigning blame for the unfortunate failed opportunity it seemed to just not be a proper fit for me or my employer. I wish the very best for all those that I encountered during the year I spent there.

As for me, I don’t really have a plan as such. It is mostly likely time for me to move out of the security industry as I have found it is not suited to meet either my financial or creative aspirations. The time has come for me to strike out on my own where I can own both my successes and my failures and not have to share in another’s defeat. Onward from victim to victor if you would. The night before I went in to tender my resignation, my newborn daughter took her first shaky steps with the use of her walker after crawling for the first time only 5 days earlier. A very proud moment, but also a moment of clarity. It was finally time for me to finally stop crawling and begin walking professionally. I have every intent to do so as my motivation is now stronger than it has ever been.

So as I branch out make sure you keep in contact as I maybe able to help you in your endeavors and you in mine. As it happens, I have some availability ;)

-Lawrence Douglas (M.o.S.)

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Watched all 7. Good work.

Y’all need to get hip to this British based web series. You’ll be glad you did!

Brothers With No Game!

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11/31/12 11:41pm Los Angeles, CA Change. It"s funny how this time of year everyone is hoping for change, "New Year, New You". "Next year things are gonna be better." The fact of the matter is that we don't like change because change is hard. So much so that is causes most of us to remain stagnant in our current situations and not even seek to improve them. Because change, is scary. But with 2013 upon us, Unless we do things differently... our tomorrows will be the same as our todays. I have reached a great crossroads in my life and I am finally choosing to create my own change rather than react to the changes that happen around me. Is it scary? Yes. But, I know that I am tired of things being the way that they are and that's not going to change unless "I" do it. So today I make a choice for things to be different for better or for worse. So this is for all those that are tired of being down and are ready to rise up. 2013 is YOUR year! CHANGE! RISE UP AND TAKE IT! And from this day forward every year's gonna be OUR YEAR!

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Man of Stature

11:59a 9/1/12 Sea-Tac Airport Seattle, WA

Waiting for my return flight to Los Angeles I decided to take a walk through the airport bookstore. Just to kill time, not looking to make a purchase or anything like that. While browsing the magazine section one thing is conspicuously absent, Black faces. In particularly Black Men. Sure i see Kendrick Lamar, Dr. Dre and Meek Mill on the obligatory rap mags but that’s it. 100 magazines. 4 black faces.

In my opinion the black man is the most under represented section of American culture. As I continue to scan I see Gabrielle Union has made the cover of the October “Ebony”. Good choice as I believe she may be the hottest black woman on Earth (next to my wife, of course). This obviously isn’t “news” to me as I am a 31 year old black man from Compton, CA. I have been confronted many times with the mis or non-representation of my culture, my people. But the question is, Why does it have to be this way?

The short answer is that it doesn’t. And while I could spend the “next” 31 years of my life explaining all the factors that come into play as to why things are this way in media I think my time will be better suited trying to figure out how it can be changed.

I personally believe that one of the major “controllable” factors is a lack of understanding of the black culture. People just don’t understand the socioeconomic conditions that helped to shape and mold our culture into what it is today and how we are perceived. As for the misrepresentation, lets just say it’s pretty difficult for someone to explain something they have never seen, touched, or encountered. Most people haven’t even taken a field trip to the hood. So that begs the question, if we don’t like the way our story is being told why don’t we tell it ourselves? Which brings me to the point of this script.

I am making a personal commitment to enrich the black culture by enlightening the community at large about the dynamics of this misunderstood section of society. People fear what they don’t understand and they also are less likely to engage individuals that they have “false” preconceived notions about. It is my hope that through this quest I will also enrich my personal knowledge about myself and my people and to help the younger generations avoid the pitfalls and life cycles that have plagued our people for centuries.

We all want to have a voice, we all want to be heard. And I think it’s about time to give an ACCURATE account of this instrumental section of American culture.

My approach in this venture will be two fold:

“Ask a Black Man” and a bi-monthly column written by me on my Man of Stature blog. You can submit questions for “Ask a Black Man” at ManOfStature@gmail.com or on my twitter account @ManOfStatureLD . My bi-monthly column will focus on issues that exist in black culture, my personal observations and proposed solutions on how to improve the American culture at large. It is my hope that this will serve as an aid in dealing with and advancing the black culture and if not I’m pretty sure it will help me advance as a man.

-Lawrence Douglas M.o.S.