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yall don’t wanna hear about my gabe goodman alive plots you just wanna dance

heyyyy ya

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anybody else devastated by next to normal but specifically Dan?

that man has so much going on and is so sad and the actor portrayed it beautifully and perfectly and he really did sound like a man who is trying his best but is so so tired

im so normal about him i promise

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the youngest child experience really is choosing not to celebrate with my siblings so that they can go to a bar

never getting away from being babied

your siblings can and will tell you what to do but you’ll never get to give them your advice bc what experience do you possibly have

just bc I’m autistic does not mean I need constant care I just need it to be considered when planning but since I’m the baby they don’t even think about it

I’m an adult and my opinion matters but oh no we have to conform our fun bc the autistic baby needs to not have a meltdown in public it can’t possibly be that she won’t find it fun

I can’t have meltdowns with them bc what if they baby me and make it worse

but I’m also an adult and I need them to communicate with me clearly and then I’ll be fine

but I don’t need everything to be explained to me bc I am intellegent

and I’m such a caretaker but they never let me take care of them bc they’re older and they rely on each other all the time but never me

I just want to be part of the group but they all matured at the same time and I matured two years later so they are so close without me even though we have the same age gaps

and I don’t enjoy the same things they do and they’re so tired of making plans around ‘will she have fun there or will she be a bitch’

and they never communicate well the things I do that I should not so I can’t become better company and be someone they don’t have to watch over

but they don’t have to watch me bc I’m an adult and I am capable of telling them what I need but they don’t seem to think I am capable of changing from the shut in autistic kid I used to be

and they can’t not see me as tiny little baby bc they are incapable of change for some reason

I pay rent. I have a job which I got with no help. I just want to be a part of my siblings without struggling to connect with them

and I have had too many relationships where I did so much work and got nothing and I’m so tired

but if I don’t reach out and initiate they’ll think I need them to do it and baby me more

I hope they’re having so much fun tonight since I made their lives easier by choosing not to go with them and make them go somewhere that allows people under 21

I’m watching our dad get older and I’m stuck at home where they baby me too even thought they are both youngest children and they should get it

and one of them is married, one is saving to be engaged, and the third is thinking about a potential relationship and no one has ever found me pretty

and they hang out with friends weekly but half of my friends are still in high school and the other half left for college and no one ever reaches out to me

I don’t know if I can handle this for 60 more years

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hello everyone Prince Phillip from sleeping beauty is bisexual

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in reference to my previous post, where is the Michael and William afton ‘like him’ edit?? It’s literally a plot point that the animatronics think Michael is William

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loving all the ‘like him’ Star Wars edits but the fact that none of them have started with ‘he has too much of his father in him’ ‘that’s what I’m afraid of’ is a legitimate crime

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controversial pjo opinion

camp Jupiter is really bad

you’re telling me their army means they live full lives in a city and yet they choose for their army to be their children. The protection of their army gives them all safe futures and they could just make adults be their army but no. Middle and high school.

how dare they

chb is a child army solely bc they don’t live to adulthood so the children must fight to survive. And camp Jupiter has basically guaranteed as long as their army stands they live til old age, but they have mandatory (MANDATORY!!) army service for children. And the brand camp Jupiter has the capacity for normal teenage development in a safe environment with adults to protect and lead them and they throw it away

also why are their generals also children. Reyna and Jason and hazel and frank do not need the trauma of being responsible for an entire army coming back alive and in charge of training and discipline and they are the same age. You can have a position of leadership over peers but total leadership as in you’re the big boss? No that’s what adults are for

In summary I hate camp Jupiter

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it’s time

more thoughts about outsiders musical

not being a hater I loved the show

I don’t like the mischaracterization of dally I thought about it but it took away from one of the huge points in the book: dally being the greaser version of bob. Which is important to me bc not many seem to understand how if bob cannot be redeemed than neither can dally. They both had good moments but were not very good people. Dally did horrible things and people tend to forget it simply bc the actors who play him are all hot

in the same way getting rid of randy destroyed the comparison of randy and Johnny. Which got rid of pony and Randy’s conversations and the realization that they really couldn’t change much of anything no matter how hard they tried but Randy chose to try anyway because it was right

speaking of comparison pony and cherry are obviously each others counterparts. Shipping them to me is wrong btw. Maybe in ten years but ponyboy is barely 14 and she’s like 16-17 and ponyboy never showed interest in her other than understanding her bc they are both different. I disagree with cherryboy shippers bc come on a guy and a girl can have an intellectual conversation without romantic energy. This doesn’t really have to do with the show I just have opinions

I did appreciate Paul yes bring attention to how if the curtises had more money and if their parents hadn’t died Darry could have been someone big. Someone known. Someone the world considered important. And probably to the gang he represented the idea that a greaser could make it out there but then he didn’t and it crushed them a little so they tried to joke about ‘him going soc’ as a way to cope and it just alienated him even more since he now needed a full time job and to raise his brothers and to keep the house standing

I think they fed into the johnnyboy just a little too much. I love me a gay ship but come on, there’s something so beautiful about choosing family and that is what ponyboy and Johnny have. Can we shut up about the ship for one second and admire brothers who would go anywhere for each other, who would kill for each other or die for each other. Brothers who spoke without speaking. Platonic love is amazing and I loved their songs but I know the johnnyboy shippers are gonna be annoying af whenever I try to interact with the fandom. Like just because some people are queer doesn’t mean every character you like has to be queer. I know we as a community are underrepresented but if you want queer representation write a new story with queer characters, dont ruin the kinship of the curtises and Johnny cade

I loved throwing in the towel but I did not like how ponyboy sang in it too. The whole point is he is gone, and also the literal next song is the three brothers so it would have made more sense if he wasn’t singing TITT. Also if there was a missing harmony it could have been chefs kiss

the Julie Andrews bit? Fucking iconic

who tf is blondie soc girl and greaser girl. Sure ig for harmonies but they added nothing to the story and seriously to me seemed pointless. Their characters did not have to be written and served no purpose and come on, outsiders isn’t even about girls. The only girl who was close to a main character was cherry, and the only side girls who could have added to the story were sandy and Marcia, and they already underutilized Marcia. Like if you needed another girl moment just add in the two bit Marcia stuff but blondie and greaser girl had no use other than harmonies and dancing.

dally seemed way older than he should. He’s 17 he’s not put together he’s in and out of jail he’s not a responsible older brother to the boys he’s dangerous and unstable and both twobit and Darry are older than him also

the dally vs darry brother stuff was stupid

twobit was everything I wanted him to be loved it

ITS A HOPELESS WAR WERE FIGHTING AND WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT FOR EVEN IN THE END EVEN IF YOU WIN IT DOESNT CHANGE A THING

I didn’t really like little brother. At first I was like YES dally only cared about Johnny so yes the devotion is eating but then he’s like ‘do it for ponyboy and Johnny’ like what? ‘I am killing myself for the sake of ponyboy and Johnny’? That accomplishes nothing. That makes no sense. He killed himself bc the only good thing in his life was gone, not for pony and johnnys benefit?? The song is a banger but the lyrics are not it

stay gold is beautiful and the message is beautiful it fit the end of johnnys story so well and hold on to the good things and make peace with the bad things bc holding on to bad things is how people become resentful and vengeful and easily tempted to do bad things and that’s how bob and dally became bob and dally anyways stay gold might lift me out of my depression bc the message is so powerful and if I just find the beauty in this world in the sky and in the kids I work with and in my pets and everywhere else and if I act with grace and mercy and kindness rather than anger and justice and a mean spirit then I think I’ll do okay

I don’t blame the writers for not putting it in bc time exists and there’s only so much of it but I wish we’d seen more of ponyboys mental struggles or maybe even a short court scene showing them labeled innocent and it could have included ponyboy getting confused like in the book but I’m not mad bc it was getting to be a long musical

I did think the idea of ponyboy choosing to share johnnys message of staying gold by writing their story was very cutesy

awwwwww the way they ate dinner together and showed him improving by him eating a little bit like yes baby steps disordered eating is no joke and family dinners are amazing especially since the first few months of family dinners were probably sad and empty and tense and angry and then Johnny happened and they were sad and empty again until he started eating and the way darry didn’t make a big deal out of it and let him go slow :,)

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ok second half coming in hot with the gospel music I love it

piano for heart monitor

cherry and pony duets are killing it

THE RUMBLE

-it starts with no dancing, just people running and fighting. Exactly. That’s what the story is about, I would have been mad if it was a cool dance because the story is to show the pointlessness and violence. -then there’s rain! -Darry and Paul

-the choreographed section ate

!!angry dally!! the way he punches the walls in anger and they fall even tho he didn’t like really act out punching!!

I liked the difference in deaths solely because they made it tie in well, if he hadn’t kept talking about taking trains to his next place it wouldn’t have worked, but they couldn’t have him do suicide by cop because they changed his character too much for that death to fit him so they added in extra backstory good problem solving

It’s kinda funny to me how Steve wasn’t named the entire play

SERIOUSLY THE GOSPEL MUSIC IS DEVOURING

just who’s girlfriend is the girl greaser?

I wish there had been more of ponyboys grief but I understand it was already getting long so they had to shorten it

I am sad that the pony boy and randy conversation never got to happen even tho randy wasn’t in the play bc i don’t think bob was humanized enough and in the book to me that was huge. I’ve always seen bob as the soc dally. It’s all he knew and he got in it too deep to come out alive. And I wish we could have seen ponyboys thoughts about him

AHHH THE NOTE

I love how half of Darry’s choreo was sit there staring at audience while someone else has a very important solo until it’s your turn to sing

AAAAAAAA THE FINALE

ok

I’ve started the outsiders musical

not finished bc dinner

but I’m around halfway through

here’s my initials thoughts

bob is wearing a gay shirt of course soda immediately removes his shirt for the entire song

random greaser woman could be good or bad but her dancing is fire so I like her

two reprises only an hour into the show? Beautiful

yessss parentified darry struggles

Dally is not really book accurate? Like he had a soft spot for Johnny in the books and he helped them but dang he’s very brother coded rn and idk if I like the change of his character but we’ll see

I love two bit

THE WAY THE SOCS TURNED ON CHERRY

also the socs hunt song was terrifying good job

when the brothers all sang and it was like

pony boy

Soda and Darry

Good stage

the writers definitely used to read johnnyboy fanfiction because that song could very easily be a romantic devotion rather than a brotherhood one

THE VISUALS FOR THE FIRE????

alright that’s it I’ll scream about the other half in a bit

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ok

I’ve started the outsiders musical

not finished bc dinner

but I’m around halfway through

here’s my initials thoughts

bob is wearing a gay shirt of course soda immediately removes his shirt for the entire song

random greaser woman could be good or bad but her dancing is fire so I like her

two reprises only an hour into the show? Beautiful

yessss parentified darry struggles

Dally is not really book accurate? Like he had a soft spot for Johnny in the books and he helped them but dang he’s very brother coded rn and idk if I like the change of his character but we’ll see

I love two bit

THE WAY THE SOCS TURNED ON CHERRY

also the socs hunt song was terrifying good job

when the brothers all sang and it was like

pony boy

Soda and Darry

Good stage

the writers definitely used to read johnnyboy fanfiction because that song could very easily be a romantic devotion rather than a brotherhood one

THE VISUALS FOR THE FIRE????

alright that’s it I’ll scream about the other half in a bit

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just started criminal minds and my tiktok is bombarded with thirst traps (I’ve seen many spoilers at this point)

why are people thirsting over Spencer he’s more like a brother I wanna hug him and listen to what he considers important and make sure he’s ok but he’s not especially attractive he’s just a white man

this opinion applies to his other haircuts as well

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my sister talked me into it I guess this is happening

prepare for the weirdest most ooc fanfiction ever

written by someone who has never experienced pregnancy, being in labor, or postpartum depression

coming soon to a website near you

where will I post it? I don’t know. I usually post on wattpad bc I’m kinda scared of the high quality writing and fully completed fics expected from writers on ao3 but this doesn’t seem like a wattpad type story so I might have to cross post

or I could just write it here

stay tuned I guess

thinking of writing RWBY fanfiction even though I’ve only seen the first three volumes and therefore probably don’t have a good grasp on the characters. The worst part is that the storylines my brain latches onto as potential fanfiction are always weird and niche and probably not something others would enjoy. Like the idea I’m brewing is that Mercury and Emerald are being blackmailed by Cinder into doing her plans bc long story short Emerald had a baby and Mercury’s moral code (that probably in canon is nonexistent but I do what I want) makes him want to help her

and the whole story has penelope scotts bitter, resentful, authority figures have failed us and so have our abusive boyfriends vibe to it

like while I brainstorm I listen to cabaret and cabaret 2 and also dumpster for good measure

like who would want to read that

no wonder I’m in a fanfic slump and haven’t written in at least two years I keep convincing myself that it matters more what I used to write than what I want to write now and I need to satisfy the readers who followed me because of my dream smp content but I only a little care about that anymore but I really did want to finish that story for them only I just don’t care anymore about tommyinnit adoption aus

wow this got way deeper than I intended so sorry

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thinking of writing RWBY fanfiction even though I’ve only seen the first three volumes and therefore probably don’t have a good grasp on the characters. The worst part is that the storylines my brain latches onto as potential fanfiction are always weird and niche and probably not something others would enjoy. Like the idea I’m brewing is that Mercury and Emerald are being blackmailed by Cinder into doing her plans bc long story short Emerald had a baby and Mercury’s moral code (that probably in canon is nonexistent but I do what I want) makes him want to help her

and the whole story has penelope scotts bitter, resentful, authority figures have failed us and so have our abusive boyfriends vibe to it

like while I brainstorm I listen to cabaret and cabaret 2 and also dumpster for good measure

like who would want to read that

no wonder I’m in a fanfic slump and haven’t written in at least two years I keep convincing myself that it matters more what I used to write than what I want to write now and I need to satisfy the readers who followed me because of my dream smp content but I only a little care about that anymore but I really did want to finish that story for them only I just don’t care anymore about tommyinnit adoption aus

wow this got way deeper than I intended so sorry

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ewwww last night I had a dream where a lot of horrible things were happening but in order to not get attacked by a random child kidnapper and to keep being able to secretly help the children I had to pretend to be engaged to a certain abuser british twitch streamer and singer

the only saving grace was I was at least around the correct age range in the dream but that was still disgusting we had to take engagement photos and everything it was just yucky

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generation loss thoughts because I got back into it

yes people have probably already said all of this but I don’t care I just re-entered the fandom also I haven’t finished watching the founders cut so keep that in mind

feel free to discuss and put your own thoughts and theories in the comments

somehow this kinda turned into fic prompts if you think about it. Idk I’m just throwing thoughts around but do feel free to base a fic off of something here

what if Austin is wearing orange and white to signify he’s the only one who knows he’s imprisoned? Because it looks like a prison uniform

if someone else had been chosen from the carousel would the deaths be all mixed up? Like what if Ethan died to puzzler and Vinny got killed by the wall? Or was it always planned who would get what death and the voting didn’t even matter? (because if they really let us choose who got free then they had to shoot like six takes of differently dressed dummies flying through the air and that’s hilarious)

what if hetch is just as controlled as everyone else? What if he broke free at the beginning in ep 1 but it didn’t even matter because in ep 3 they got caught?

What if all the times hetch took control of the set and tried to help were also scripted? If he was controlled by his mask? So none of the ways he helped even mattered because it wouldn’t get them anywhere in terms of escape

what if ranboo discovering the mall was also scripted? What if they were never in control?

what if when hetch tried to help ranboo they killed him and a replacement in his costume is the one who killed ranboo?

what if sneeg really couldn’t read? If he’d been taken before he was old enough to learn? Many theorize about slimecicle being there since childhood but what if sneeg was too?

is frank an actual skeleton?

how come puzzler already had a memorial prepared? Had he angered showfall before the show?

does show fall have a device that can bring back the dead or are the deaths faked like they appeared?

if perception is skewed, were the lasers real? And every time ranboo touched one it actually burned, only the filters made it look like lights?

more thoughts not in the form of questions

there aren’t any fics where absolutely everyone makes it out. The several streamers, the three ghouls, the rats, puzzler and hetch. I just think it would be cool but I have not the mental capacity to write it myself

in universe a showfall employee had to paint a sophisticated finger tenting slimecicle for a prop

I think Vinny and Austin deserve way more hype I loved their characters

I liked the puzzler after my second watch through but the first one I just hated the prosthetic so much I couldn’t look at him

niki and vinnys hats are so cute

a moment to appreciate the rats and ghouls good job rats and ghouls

a moment to appreciate the SOUNDTRACK Beautiful job truly magnificent score

how much fricking money did this show cost

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Troy Bolton and Luke Skywalker have the exact same overdramatic and slightly fruity blonde boy vibes

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Gl!slimecicle gives me happy mask salesman vibes in the weirdest and best way