mathematicsgeek

[mathematicsgeek]

“If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting the rest of our lives.”

— Lemony Snicket; The Ersatz Elevator

[mathematicsgeek]

I clench at my chest, reaching for a heart it feels like isn't even there --

like if I pushed past the flesh and bone I would find nothing.

And yet, sometimes that pit doesn't feel like a void, but a black hole, sucking in all it can for some semblance, some feeling, of love --

To feel the empty, dreadful pain, of being alone forever, and to yearn for moments of connection, and quiet affection,

feel so entirely close to the same.

V. Rue, 2025.

[mathematicsgeek]

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole life fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

— F.Scott Fitzgerald

[mathematicsgeek]

[mathematicsgeek]

Franz Kafka, 1912

[mathematicsgeek]

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

[mathematicsgeek]

When a fic doesn’t fit my head canons but it’s well-written

[mathematicsgeek]

"If you use em dash in your works, it makes them look AI generated. No real human uses em dash."

Imaging thinking actual human writers are Not Real because they use... professional writing in their works.

Imagine thinking millions of people who have been using em dash way before AI becomes a thing are all robots.

REBLOG IF YOU'RE A HUMAN AND YOU USE EM DASH

[mathematicsgeek]

I’ve decided to write a small book on the years the marauders got to share together before everything broke down.

This is supposed to be the first chapter. It’s just a intriduction on who each main characters are.

I hope you’ll enjoy the whole series :))))

Know them

Sirius Black. Black. The name was enough to make witches and wizards bow their heads before him. Why not? He was a Black! The Black family is the most ancient and purest blood family in the Wizarding world; they were one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. They were most respected and honored in the society and had highest status. Their wealth was unlimited; generations could stay unemployed and yet will have enough money for luxuries. Sirius was raised to feel proud for who he is, his family and his name. His dear mother, Walburga Black, was always there to remind him and his younger brother, Regulus, of how pure they were, how handsome and perfect they were, how much worthier and better they were than half-bloods and muggle-borns (“scums and mudbloods” in her wording). However Sirius never bought any of this. Deep down, Sirius was always curious about muggles and why blood purity mattered so much. And if he ever mistakenly thought of it loudly, he would receive another deep cut on his small back. He and his brother was taught only about blood status and how important it was for them to keep it safe and pure as they were the only male Blacks born in their generation.

Being a rebellious kid, Sirius decided to break generations of Black tradition by getting sorted to different house but Slytherin when he received his Hogwarts acceptance letter. Though he allowed his mother to coo at what a handsome Slytherin he’ll be and that green and silver matched so well with him, Sirius in his mind had no intention of being a part of his family’s tradition or beliefs.

James Potter. Another rebellious pure-blood of the generation with wealth and fame- his father had invented the internationally famous hair potion. As James came very late in his parents’ lives and was also the only child, the amount of love he received was limitless. He grew up in a big house with big yard and no scarcity to materials. Thus he grew up to become arrogant and egoistic as his parents never made him feel down or unimportant. Yet, he was the most generous and protective of his loved ones without much to his notice.

No one was as excited about receiving the Hogwrtas letter as James was. He was going to learn magic! Most importantly, he was going to have his own Quidditch team to play with! After getting attacked with kisses from his mother and hugs from his father, James hurried off into the Hogwarts Express and looked for an empty compartment. Finally, he found one, except it wasn’t empty. A girl with dark red hair was sitting beside the window, her head pressed against the window sill.

“Do you mind if I sit?”

“No”

She didn’t turn to look at him; her eyes were fixed outside of the window and on the station where families were still waving off to their kids and shouting last reminders. James heaved his trunk into the compartment and slid the door shut-waiting for the train to start. Within a minute, the compartment door slid open and a tall, dark haired boy poked his head in, scanned the compartment and his eyes landed on James’s

“Uh…other compartments are full…can I sit here…?”

“Yes.”

“Sure.”

The red haired girl (without turning her head to look) and James replied at once. Both James and the black haired boy stared at the girl. Shrugging, James gestured the boy to enter and helped him with the trunk.

“I’m James. James Potter.”

“I’m Sirius Black,” said Sirius, a little taken aback at how normal James was when he said his name-he just smiled and nodded.

Within a minute, James and Sirius started taking interest in each other. They talked about Quidditch and other random topics as the train started to move. The red-haired girl, finally, tore her eyes away from the window and leaned her head on the head of the couch, sighing.

A moment later, Severus hurried out of his compartment to look for Lily. Where was she? He looked into almost every compartment until he finally found her sitting beside a window, her eyes closed. “There you are!” He sat in front of her and grinned at her but she didn’t return the smile; she turned away.

Severus Snape was never taken care of and received little or any affection. His life at home was filled with constant arguments of his parents as he lay forgotten on the corner of his small house, praying desperately for another family. Severus would forget about his trouble and abuse at home whenever he would have the chance to stay with Lily Evans, a pretty red-haired girl from the muggle town, who, thankfully, showed signs of magic. They built quite a very strong bond and became best friends within weeks. Severus filled Lily with all the information he knew about Hogwarts and the Wizarding World while Lily marveled and waited longingly for her Hogwarts acceptance letter.

As their friendship grew stronger, Severus’s dislike towards Lily’s sister, Petunia Evans, also grew deeper. Petunia also had no liking toward Severus so she wouldn’t miss an opportunity to discourage Lily to not talk to “the boy from Spinner’s End”. However, Lily refused to listen to her, “So what if he’s from the Spinner’s End? What if he’s poor and has ugly clothes? He didn’t get to choose his life, you know.” Severus couldn’t help but melt at how sweet and kind this muggleborn girl was.

Lily Evans was a bright, small and cheery girl with thick, dark red hair. She was a lovely daughter to her parents and an amazing friend to her elder sister, Petunia. Petunia and Lily shared a very stable and strong friendship; they would share their silly secrets, treats and help eachother to steal their mother’s make up. While Lily was playful and a bit clumsy, Petunia was a well kept girl and liked to stick to the rules. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop them from being the most dynamic duo. Petunia always cared for her sister and, even though she would complain it wasn’t right to do, would help Lily pull pranks and jokes. They were best friends!

Until he came…

Until he became more interesting than Petunia because he was just as ‘magical’ as Lily. . .

Until the letter came…

Until Lily was labeled as the ‘special’ one…

Until Petunia called Lily a “Freak!”

No words could express the sorrow Lily felt in her small, young heart. No one knew how horrible Lily felt when the word, “Freak” left Petunia’s lips. I’m not a freak! Tears gushed from Lily’s eyes and ran down her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. She turned around when she saw a messy, black haired boy draw near her compartment. Another boy also entered the compartment later but she didn’t turn to look at them-she couldn’t let them see her red, puffy eyes.

“There you are!”

A wave of frustration rushed through Lily when she heard the familiar voice as the compartment door slid open for the third time.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why not?”

“Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore.”

“So what?”

“So she’s my sister!”

She couldn’t believe it. You don’t care about my relationship with my sister!?

The other boys took no notice in Lily and Severus until the latter mentioned Slytherin.

“Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin?”

James was in shock. People really want to be in Slytherin? How nasty!  

“ ‘Gryffindore, where dwell the brave at heart.’ Like my dad,” James replied when Sirius asked which house he preferred.

Severus snickered at him.

“Got a problem with that?” James asked, coldly.

“No. If you’d rather be brawny than brainy-

Brawny or brainy? I can be both. I will be both. I’ll prove it, you little-

Before James could reply, Sirius spat, “Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?”

James roared with laughter.

Lily was shocked at how Severus mocked the two strangers and how they talked back! She took Severus’s hand and left the compartment, disgusted at the two boys, who called him “Snivellus”. How rude. Really, I thought magical people would at least know some manners!

Beside this compartment was another compartment filled with a different group of first year students. Amongst them was a small, mousy haired boy, sitting beside the window. His face was hidden behind a large book. There were deep cuts on his face and scratches on his skinny forearms.

“Hi, I’m Peter Pettigrew,” said a round, watery-eyed boy to him.

Looking from the top of his book, the mousy haired boy muttered, “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Anything from the trolley, dears?” the compartment door slid open and the trolley women came in. At the sight of the lady, Remus dropped his book and shot up.

“Me.”

Peter’s mouth fell open as he got to see Remus’s face clearly for the first time.

“Oh, it’s just a bad accident,” Remus said, waving a careless hand when he realized Peter staring at his scars.

Was it really a ‘bad accident’?

Remus Lupin was attacked by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback when he was only five years old. Fenrir attacked Remus to take revenge on Lyall Lupin, Remus’s father. Lyall Lupin was working against werewolves and believed that werewolves did not deserve living in the world. Little Remus had to suffer for his father’s mistakes. He couldn’t understand why his parents moved to an isolated place to live, why his parents forbade him to befriend anyone, why he would once a month wake up naked in their warehouse, why his body ached all over, why his small, skinny body had innumerable cuts or how and why his fragile bones crack into a vicious monster, every month.

Until Remus was seven year old, when he was fully able to read and write. He would read anything and everything he found. He was so smart for his age that big volumes of books were a piece of cake for him. That is when Remus learned about his lycanthropy.

“Mum. . .wh-what am I?”

The words crushed Mrs Lupin’s heart. She couldn’t look at her son-her beautiful, smart, innocent son. She dropped whatever was in her hands and ran over to her son and hugged him tight. Oh no. She could feel her son’s bones crushing under her arms.

“Wh-what d-do you mean?” Mrs Lupin muttered.

“Mum, am I a monster? Am I bad?”

NO, love, no! You’re my son, not a monster! Mrs Lupin wanted to shout it to her son but she felt she lost her voice. Her boy was facing a crucial reality not even adults deserve to. He’s just a boy!

“N-n-no, son. Remus, my sweet boy, you’re the best boy I’ve ever met. You can NEVER be bad.”

“Then I’m a monster? I…I know I am, mum…”

Sitting across the kitchen table was Mr Lupin, hiding his face behind the newspaper as silent tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore. His boy was suffering the worst punishment…

From then on, Remus started building the worst inferiority complex by isolating himself, even from his parents. He would preoccupy himself with books and lock himself up in his room. Before every full moon, he would go to their warehouse alone and return once the full moon was over. Remus Lupin was small, fragile and innocent but his world was harsh and old.

After buying almost all the chocolate frogs from the trolley lady, Remus settled himself in his sit and started unwrapping chocolates. Peter, meanwhile, bought packs of Every flavoured beans and cauldron cakes. Remus and Peter started trading chocolates and cakes as Remus took interest in the quiet, shy boy. Their conversations wouldn’t last long for Remus wasn’t the best at socializing and Peter would get nervous for talking too long and would busy himself to finish his cakes.

Peter Pettigrew would always chew on his fingernails and bite his lips. When he was young boy, he showed signs of magic very late than average. His family almost counted him as a Squib so they would try and force magic out of him. Though Peter did prove himself to be a wizard, his family’s mocking of him being slow made him to actually believe he was stupid and that Hogwarts would never accept a half-squib like him. However, fortunately, he did receive the acceptance letter which, though delighted his family, didn’t help Peter gain any confidence in himself.

[mathematicsgeek]

Know them

Sirius Black. Black. The name was enough to make witches and wizards bow their heads before him. Why not? He was a Black! The Black family is the most ancient and purest blood family in the Wizarding world; they were one of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. They were most respected and honored in the society and had highest status. Their wealth was unlimited; generations could stay unemployed and yet will have enough money for luxuries. Sirius was raised to feel proud for who he is, his family and his name. His dear mother, Walburga Black, was always there to remind him and his younger brother, Regulus, of how pure they were, how handsome and perfect they were, how much worthier and better they were than half-bloods and muggle-borns (“scums and mudbloods” in her wording). However Sirius never bought any of this. Deep down, Sirius was always curious about muggles and why blood purity mattered so much. And if he ever mistakenly thought of it loudly, he would receive another deep cut on his small back. He and his brother was taught only about blood status and how important it was for them to keep it safe and pure as they were the only male Blacks born in their generation.

Being a rebellious kid, Sirius decided to break generations of Black tradition by getting sorted to different house but Slytherin when he received his Hogwarts acceptance letter. Though he allowed his mother to coo at what a handsome Slytherin he’ll be and that green and silver matched so well with him, Sirius in his mind had no intention of being a part of his family’s tradition or beliefs.

 James Potter. Another rebellious pure-blood of the generation with wealth and fame- his father had invented the internationally famous hair potion. As James came very late in his parents’ lives and was also the only child, the amount of love he received was limitless. He grew up in a big house with big yard and no scarcity to materials. Thus he grew up to become arrogant and egoistic as his parents never made him feel down or unimportant. Yet, he was the most generous and protective of his loved ones without much to his notice.

No one was as excited about receiving the Hogwrtas letter as James was. He was going to learn magic! Most importantly, he was going to have his own Quidditch team to play with! After getting attacked with kisses from his mother and hugs from his father, James hurried off into the Hogwarts Express and looked for an empty compartment. Finally, he found one, except it wasn’t empty. A girl with dark red hair was sitting beside the window, her head pressed against the window sill.

“Do you mind if I sit?”

“No”

She didn’t turn to look at him; her eyes were fixed outside of the window and on the station where families were still waving off to their kids and shouting last reminders. James heaved his trunk into the compartment and slid the door shut-waiting for the train to start. Within a minute, the compartment door slid open and a tall, dark haired boy poked his head in, scanned the compartment and his eyes landed on James’s

“Uh…other compartments are full…can I sit here…?”

“Yes.”

“Sure.”

The red haired girl (without turning her head to look) and James replied at once. Both James and the black haired boy stared at the girl. Shrugging, James gestured the boy to enter and helped him with the trunk.

“I’m James. James Potter.”

“I’m Sirius Black,” said Sirius, a little taken aback at how normal James was when he said his name-he just smiled and nodded.

Within a minute, James and Sirius started taking interest in each other. They talked about Quidditch and other random topics as the train started to move. The red-haired girl, finally, tore her eyes away from the window and leaned her head on the head of the couch, sighing.

A moment later, Severus hurried out of his compartment to look for Lily. Where was she? He looked into almost every compartment until he finally found her sitting beside a window, her eyes closed. “There you are!” He sat in front of her and grinned at her but she didn’t return the smile; she turned away.

Severus Snape was never taken care of and received little or any affection. His life at home was filled with constant arguments of his parents as he lay forgotten on the corner of his small house, praying desperately for another family. Severus would forget about his trouble and abuse at home whenever he would have the chance to stay with Lily Evans, a pretty red-haired girl from the muggle town, who, thankfully, showed signs of magic. They built quite a very strong bond and became best friends within weeks. Severus filled Lily with all the information he knew about Hogwarts and the Wizarding World while Lily marveled and waited longingly for her Hogwarts acceptance letter.

As their friendship grew stronger, Severus’s dislike towards Lily’s sister, Petunia Evans, also grew deeper. Petunia also had no liking toward Severus so she wouldn’t miss an opportunity to discourage Lily to not talk to “the boy from Spinner’s End”. However, Lily refused to listen to her, “So what if he’s from the Spinner’s End? What if he’s poor and has ugly clothes? He didn’t get to choose his life, you know.” Severus couldn’t help but melt at how sweet and kind this muggleborn girl was.

Lily Evans was a bright, small and cheery girl with thick, dark red hair. She was a lovely daughter to her parents and an amazing friend to her elder sister, Petunia. Petunia and Lily shared a very stable and strong friendship; they would share their silly secrets, treats and help eachother to steal their mother’s make up. While Lily was playful and a bit clumsy, Petunia was a well kept girl and liked to stick to the rules. Nevertheless, this didn’t stop them from being the most dynamic duo. Petunia always cared for her sister and, even though she would complain it wasn’t right to do, would help Lily pull pranks and jokes. They were best friends!

Until he came. . .

Until he became more interesting than Petunia because he was just as ‘magical’ as Lily. . .

Until the letter came. . .

Until Lily was labeled as the ‘special’ one. . .

Until Petunia called Lily a “Freak!”

No words could express the sorrow Lily felt in her small, young heart. No one knew how horrible Lily felt when the word, “Freak” left Petunia’s lips. I’m not a freak! Tears gushed from Lily’s eyes and ran down her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. She turned around when she saw a messy, black haired boy draw near her compartment. Another boy also entered the compartment later but she didn’t turn to look at them-she couldn’t let them see her red, puffy eyes.

“There you are!”

A wave of frustration rushed through Lily when she heard the familiar voice as the compartment door slid open for the third time.

“I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Why not?”

“Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore.”

“So what?”

“So she’s my sister!”

She couldn’t believe it. You don’t care about my relationship with my sister!?

The other boys took no notice in Lily and Severus until the latter mentioned Slytherin.

“Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin?”

James was in shock. People really want to be in Slytherin? How nasty!  

“ ‘Gryffindore, where dwell the brave at heart.’ Like my dad,” James replied when Sirius asked which house he preferred.

Severus snickered at him.

“Got a problem with that?” James asked, coldly.

“No. If you’d rather be brawny than brainy-

Brawny or brainy? I can be both. I will be both. I’ll prove it, you little-

Before James could reply, Sirius spat, “Where’re you hoping to go, seeing as you’re neither?”

James roared with laughter.

Lily was shocked at how Severus mocked the two strangers and how they talked back! She took Severus’s hand and left the compartment, disgusted at the two boys, who called him “Snivellus”. How rude. Really, I thought magical people would at least know some manners!

Beside this compartment was another compartment filled with a different group of first year students. Amongst them was a small, mousy haired boy, sitting beside the window. His face was hidden behind a large book. There were deep cuts on his face and scratches on his skinny forearms.

“Hi, I’m Peter Pettigrew,” said a round, watery-eyed boy to him.

Looking from the top of his book, the mousy haired boy muttered, “I’m Remus Lupin.”

“Anything from the trolley, dears?” the compartment door slid open and the trolley women came in. At the sight of the lady, Remus dropped his book and shot up.

“Me.”

Peter’s mouth fell open as he got to see Remus’s face clearly for the first time.

“Oh, it’s just a bad accident,” Remus said, waving a careless hand when he realized Peter staring at his scars.

Was it really a ‘bad accident’?

Remus Lupin was attacked by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback when he was only five years old. Fenrir attacked Remus to take revenge on Lyall Lupin, Remus’s father. Lyall Lupin was working against werewolves and believed that werewolves did not deserve living in the world. Little Remus had to suffer for his father’s mistakes. He couldn’t understand why his parents moved to an isolated place to live, why his parents forbade him to befriend anyone, why he would once a month wake up naked in their warehouse, why his body ached all over, why his small, skinny body had innumerable cuts or how and why his fragile bones crack into a vicious monster, every month.

Until Remus was seven year old, when he was fully able to read and write. He would read anything and everything he found. He was so smart for his age that big volumes of books were a piece of cake for him. That is when Remus learned about his lycanthropy.

“Mum. . .wh-what am I?”

The words crushed Mrs Lupin’s heart. She couldn’t look at her son-her beautiful, smart, innocent son. She dropped whatever was in her hands and ran over to her son and hugged him tight. Oh no. She could feel her son’s bones crushing under her arms.

“Wh-what d-do you mean?” Mrs Lupin muttered.

“Mum, am I a monster? Am I bad?”

NO, love, no! You’re my son, not a monster! Mrs Lupin wanted to shout it to her son but she felt she lost her voice. Her boy was facing a crucial reality not even adults deserve to. He’s just a boy!

“N-n-no, son. Remus, my sweet boy, you’re the best boy I’ve ever met. You can NEVER be bad.”

“Then I’m a monster? I. . .I know I am, mum. . .”

Sitting across the kitchen table was Mr Lupin, hiding his face behind the newspaper as silent tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t take it anymore. His boy was suffering the worst punishment. . .

From then on, Remus started building the worst inferiority complex by isolating himself, even from his parents. He would preoccupy himself with books and lock himself up in his room. Before every full moon, he would go to their warehouse alone and return once the full moon was over. Remus Lupin was small, fragile and innocent but his world was harsh and old.

 After buying almost all the chocolate frogs from the trolley lady, Remus settled himself in his sit and started unwrapping chocolates. Peter, meanwhile, bought packs of Every flavoured beans and cauldron cakes. Remus and Peter started trading chocolates and cakes as Remus took interest in the quiet, shy boy. Their conversations wouldn’t last long for Remus wasn’t the best at socializing and Peter would get nervous for talking too long and would busy himself to finish his cakes.

Peter Pettigrew would always chew on his fingernails and bite his lips. When he was young boy, he showed signs of magic very late than average. His family almost counted him as a Squib so they would try and force magic out of him. Though Peter did prove himself to be a wizard, his family’s mocking of him being slow made him to actually believe he was stupid and that Hogwarts would never accept a half-squib like him. However, fortunately, he did receive the acceptance letter which, though delighted his family, didn’t help Peter gain any confidence in himself.

[mathematicsgeek]

2020 taught me that some bastards will stay bastards even if God sends fireballs from the sky at them to stop being  effing idiots

Alien