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I need a 4.0 and a 528, I’m not going to let this job stress and overwork me anymore.

Because for a little while there I was thinking, “what if I just made quality assurance my career?” and God said “hell nah, this is not meant to last.”

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starting my masters in the fall 🤗

I didn’t think financial aid would cover it, and least of all the summer semester but the funds are there. I can do the program!

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02-Jun-2024

I started working a second job to clear up as much random debt as I can before starting my masters in the fall. It’s taken away all of the energy I had to study for the MCAT, so that’s not happening this year and I’m okay with that. I want to do well on the test and I need more time to complete concept review anyway. Working one job and studying for that test is grueling. I wish I knew more people doing it.

Worrying about money was killing my motivation, so I’m doing the adult thing and taking a break. I think not studying for a few months before starting grad school will be healthier for me anyway.

At the same time, I’m terrified of taking out more money for school. I have to excel in the program or it will just be a waste, and I’ll be in more debt. I already feel siloed in my career, I can’t imagine what else I’d do with the second degree. I want to say medical/technical writing, but the thought of starting at entry level for anything else makes me want to be sick.

Everytime I see a “studying is a privilege” reel on Instagram I’m instantly triggered. Those of us who know that really know that.

I’ll be back.

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so my mental health has been kicking my ass lately. this panicky feeling has been distracting me from working hard since January. i’m doing the best i can. definitely saw a 10 point increase in my FL scores, but the day to day desire to DO NOTHING, is not how i felt in October, and it’s really depressing. i’m going to keep getting up every day and chipping away at content like i’ve been doing, but man… i wish things weren’t going this way. i’m even distressed about my ability to do the grad program… i’m afraid of my lack of motivation.

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is anyone looking for an accountability partner these days? hmu and let’s stay on track together 🙏🏾

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story of the week, had to figure out how to crack the content, now i’m ready to practice elaborative interrogation and figure this mess out!

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I started my channel.

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I was accepted! I’m going back to school in the falllllllll 🙌🏿

I applied to an online MSMS this morning.

Yesterday I decided to go back to school neow.

[maxiimedii]

I applied to an online MSMS this morning.

Yesterday I decided to go back to school neow.

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crying.

most days having a full-time job, an hour long commute, and wanting to take the MCAT is such a frustrating and seemingly unrealistic desire.

what am I sacrificing today? sleep or progress?

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333: 💫

As I’ve started engaging the material differently, I’ve learned so much more during my MCAT HOURS. I now make better associations between the concepts, and have faster recall the following days.

The last few days I wasn’t as productive as I would have liked, but this new method of recording my answers keeps me focused. Unfortunately, I find that I’m always doing “extra work”, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to learn this material for real.

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Getting Over Hump Day #1, 11/29/2023

Slow Monday and Tuesday

This week has been so low energy. Thanksgiving inspired overindulgence and the aftermath is staying up late, sleeping through alarms, trying to squeeze physics in before an unpredictable commute, power walking late into work— and then work always bleeds into the next day because I’m in a two-man operation.

Hump Day

Wednesday is for the reset. I haven’t been acting right, let’s finish the week strong. So I am sitting here writing this blog post in the midst of a study session (YIKES, but once I'm done its back to work AND I will only post this after as a reward ;)).... Anways, I’m very committed to reaching 80 focus hours this month, even if it means a productive late night or two. If I reach this goal I’ll be so impressed with myself. I’ve always liked a challenge, for real. Just sitting at about 77 hours is good enough— it shows that I’ve been workin’ it out.

I’ve been daydreaming about the days I’d be flipping through textbooks and working problems and I am finally in this energy of wanting to accomplish all of my goals NOW, not “when the time is right”. I'm really out here like, "the time is now", and I’ve been manifesting this drive and discipline so I WON’T WASTE IT.

Desired Improvements for Thursday and Friday

At work I am going to wrap up my internal audit, complete all of my data review assignments, and review any outstanding documents in my email.

In my MCAT HOURS I am going to keep up the good fight with miledown’s and my own OD Anki decks. I’m also going to finish reading and taking notes on chapter 6 of the Kaplan Physics & Math workbook, and then I am going to dig into chapter 7 by the weekend.

I won’t be finishing the book by the end of the month. I won’t likely be finishing the set of books by the end of the year (unless…), but I am taking a full length diagnostic on 12/31/2023 REGARDLESS.

I can’t wait to see my score! This is the longest and most consistent effort I’ve put into the MCAT since I graduated in 2019. I’m anxious to see where all of this hard work has landed me on the 528 scale.

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11/25/2023: Physics: Electrostatics and Magnetism

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Why You Struggle With ✨Discipline✨

Discipline can be hard for many people because they often lack a strong reason or motivation to stick to their goals. It's like wanting something really badly but not having the determination to work for it. How bad do you actually want it? Sometimes, people choose fun things over the things that are good for them in the long run. Others have trouble managing their time and making smart choices, and they give in to distractions or bad habits easily. Fear of both success and failure can also make it tough to stay disciplined. If there's no one to remind them or support them, they might give up too quickly. This is your life and no one is coming to save you. No one can want it for you more than you. Things like phones and social media can also make it hard to focus, but they don't disconnect. Feeling stressed or overwhelmed can mess with discipline too. Having clear goals and a plan can help a lot. Remember, being disciplined is like a skill that you can get better at with practice and by finding ways to stay motivated. Usually, there's nothing really stopping you from achieving your goals, it's mostly you standing in your own way. The thought of missing out on your dreams because you're not disciplined enough can be really tough to handle. Worrying about what could happen 5 years from now causes you anxiety and paralyses you. It's difficult to accept that you could have it all with just a bit of effort. So, discipline is not only about getting things done but also about achieving the life you want and avoiding the regret of not trying harder.