maxkirin

[maxkirin]

my weird, strange, queer-as-fuck game ideas have really resonated with people and that makes me very happy 🥺💕

if you'd like to support more weird, strange, queer-as-fuck games please consider supporting me on Itchio and Ko-Fi!!!

[maxkirin]

NEW LEAK: Jack Black to star in Stardew Valley movie adaptation

[maxkirin]

2 DAYS LEFT!!

My latest book, MEMORY LEAK, is in a SFF book bundle for Trans Day of Visibility 🏳️‍⚧️!! There's a total of 38 queer books, please consider picking up the bundle and supporting your local neighborhood authors~ 📚💕

Get it Now!

[maxkirin]

Tomorrow. Anniversary stream. Redebut.

A new chapter begins. 📶

[maxkirin]

Happy Holidays~ 🤍

Every year I draw a card, get it printed, and mail it to all of our friends around the world. It's a little late to get this one in the mail, but here's one for you too~ 💌

(( Check below to read the back 💖 ))

This year was really hard for us. Family losses. Job losses. The state of the world. And yet, the eternal optimist in me can't ignore the good that happened. Memories with friends. Laughter. Tears (of all kinds). This year was awful--but that only makes the good moments sweeter. Let's keep going 💚

[maxkirin]

The plan was for me to make a post letting you know my 2-year stream anniversary (and redebut) is in one week

But I then I made myself sad 😭

I've met so many friends through streaming, began my life-long dream of game designing, got back to writing, and more.

I am so happy I started streaming 💚

[maxkirin]

Thank you so much for the review, Bez!! 💙💚

Bez Reviews Independent Books 5: The Last Bread Mage

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NorbezJones on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Bluesky, Pillowfort, Threads, Instagram, and Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

__________

After I reviewed M. Kirin’s Memory Leak, Kirin ( @maxkirin ) contacted me and asked if I wanted a review copy of another one of their books, The Last Bread Mage!  I said yes, and here we are!  So to make it plain as possible: I was giving a free copy of this book in order to review it.  However, that does not sway my opinion of the book either way, and my opinions are 100% my own.

So, what’s The Last Bread Mage about?  Well, in a fantasy world, the end times have arrived.  A red mage named Fel manages to survive the destruction of his magic school, and he finds a saint named Amara, who insists they must go to The Pinnacle, the center of the world.  Along their journey, they find a knight named Virgen and a thief named Dormi.  The four journey to the center of the world using the help of Fel’s magic, and when they get there, they make a surprising discovery.

There are almost 30 chapters, and between each chapter is a mini-chapter that describes something that ended off the previous chapter and/or will start off the next chapter.  This “something” can be an object, a person, a piece of worldbuilding, anything really.  These mini-chapters are a cool idea and add a lot to making the world feel real.

So, I won’t bury the lead: I liked this book a whole lot.  I really, really love it.  And not because I got it for free—like I said, that does not affect my opinion, and I honestly wish I could go back in time and spend money on this.  I’m going to make this review as in-depth as possible to make up for the fact that barely anybody has read this fucking amazing book.  I have criticisms, obviously, but overall, this book is a 10/10 from me.

It reminded me of the thick sci-fi & fantasy epics I read to pass time in the hospital (to be clear, that is a compliment), immersing myself in deep worlds with rich characters between the pages.  I wish I’d had The Last Bread Mage during my last trip to inpatient.  I’m glad I have it now, at least.

Also, it’s one of those books that the more you read it, the more the meaning of the cover becomes clear & changes.  The last time that happened was with Still Life With Woodpecker, and it was pretty cool to see it happening here.

You might be asking, “Why is it called The Last Bread Mage?”  This is because Fel is the last red mage, and “bread mage” is another name for “red mage” due to the fact that red mages make bread for hungry people.  They basically use their magic to bend the rules of the universe using the three basic components all things are made of: texture, fiber, & substance.  By mixing & matching these basic materials, they can turn one thing into an entirely different thing, like when Fel renders the bars of a cell into bread.  They use up energy when they do that though, so they can’t do it forever—after all, even magic-users are only human.

The magic system in this book is very interesting, and makes for some very unique ways for Fel to get him & his friends out of the perils they end up facing.  It also soon leads to theological implications, because red mages’ magic changes the logic of the universe set by God.  However, God can only “see” the basic components all things are made of, so since a transmuted item retains the same basic materials, in God’s eyes, nothing has changed.  These theological implications are explored in various ways and go in many directions I didn’t expect, like when Fel uses his powers to make him & his friends not exist in the eyes of God.

There are also times where Fel’s powers go awry, though, through no fault of his own.  Basically, the apocalypse occurring in the world is causing the world’s logic to fall apart, drowning continents and making fantastical creatures appear that previously only existed in fiction.  This means that the logic behind Fel’s powers sometimes fails him, such as when he tries to make a doorway for him & Amara to escape down the block from a threat, but when they go through that doorway, they’ve been transported halfway across the world.

By making the story about the logic of the universe and how it can be exploited or make what should go right go wrong, the book carries a consistent throughline throughout the whole thing, even & especially when Fel does his most shocking action near the end of the story.  It’s a very admirable feat.

Speaking of the ending, I do want to talk about that.  If you don’t want to be spoiled, skip to the “SPOILERS END HERE” line.

**SPOILERS START HERE**

When Fel and his friends reach The Pinnacle, they meet a few other folks there—and they meet God.  I wasn’t sure if God was going to end up being real or not, but there it is, fretting as the world comes to an end.  It’s revealed that God made the world in an effort to make order out of chaos, but chaos keeps seeping through, no matter what it does.  It has ended & restarted the world many, many, many times, always bringing back The Chosen Four (Amara & three others named Lumbre, Huesos, & Frio) and The Fated Four (Fel [true name: Felicidad], Virgen [true name: Virtud], Dormi [true name: Domino (a name Dormi finds “fucking stupid”) & Beatrix [true name: Hambre])

Beatrix is a very interesting character.  In this lifetime, she was the butcher in the prison Dormi was locked up in, ruthlessly killing many of Dormi’s friends.  But she regrets being that person, thought she had to make herself into what she now realizes is a monster.  Her & Dormi’s reflection is shown in this passage:

“Dormi and Beatrix‌—‌who had been incredibly lost until this point‌—‌found themselves looking at one another. They thought about the life they’d led and wondered how different things would’ve been had they switched places. It humbled Beatrix, for she had been taught to hate the people of Gritlan, and it scared Dormi, for they were terrified of the butcher they might’ve become.”

The eight of them are always created when a new cycle begins.  Amara remembers every single cycle, every single timeline that has ever existed.  So does God, of course.  And now, it’s time for the world to end for a new cycle to begin.

The Chosen Four all carry pieces of The Worldly Egg, from which a new cycle of the world will hatch.  They take out their pieces, the egg forms—but God doesn’t hatch it.  Instead, God admits to them that it is tired of change, of chaos.  It longs for predictability, and wants this all to end.  It wants this to be the last cycle to ever exist.

Of course, everyone else protests.  So, God asks them all to vote whether this should be the last cycle of the world.  God votes Yea, as it is tired of doing this over & over again.  Everyone else votes, until finally, Fel has to be the tiebreaker. 

But instead of voting, Fel takes the The Worldly Egg and rends it, crunching it down to its most basic materials and absorbing them into himself.  In doing so, Fel absorbs everything existing into himself—the world, his friends, even God—and becomes the new creator of the universe.�� The Prince of Absolute Chaos.

He creates a new cycle, brings his friends back.  God is reborn as a child, and as a being who has never had a name, it asks Fel to have his—to be named Felicidad.  Fel says yes, as long as, “[Y]ou must promise me to honor the name by living a life full of joy, laughter, and smiles.  Do you promise?”

The previous God thinks about it—after all, life could be full of “joy, laughter, and smiles” or it can be full of “misery and misfortune”.  In the end, it promises Fel it will uphold the name, and the book ends on that final exchange.

I teared up quite a bit as I read through the ending, and even going back to find quotes for this review made me tear up again.  Saving your friends, saving the world, and even saving God—there’s something very beautiful in that, I think.

I also love how Kirin was able to bring aspects of his Mexican culture into the book, by making all of the true names that of “the first language” within the book’s universe (Spanish).  It’s a nice little touch and I think it’s neat.

**SPOILERS END HERE**

Now for my criticisms.  Like Adrian in Memory Leak, Fel is referred to as “the young man” quite a lot.  Sometimes this happens multiple times in the same paragraph.  This seems to be in an effort to avoid using pronouns instead, but sometimes, it’s better to just say “he”, as someone who also has this problem in eir writing (thanks, OCD [literally, not a figure of speech]!).

That’s basically my only nitpick.  I wish I had more to criticize honestly, but I really don’t.  Good problems to have.

In conclusion, I’ve never been angrier that a book isn’t popular than when I finished this one.  Where are the Tumblr shitposts and multiple pieces of fanart for this book?  I’m so mad lmao!  Also, I imagine I will have that feeling quite a bit as I continue this book review series.

I want to leave off with these words that Amara says to Fel, because I think they’re beautiful:

“‘The only thing worth a damn in this world is being the best versions of ourselves. What does that look like to you, sweet Fel? What does the best version of you look like? It may seem far away, unreachable at the best of times, but you should reach out for this impossible ideal. Be the truest version of yourself. That’s the only thing we can do. Everything else? My dear, everything else is a gamble.’” So true, bestie.  Amen.

[maxkirin]

Bez Reviews Independent Books 1: Memory Leak

Hey everyone!  I wanna do little reviews/writeups for the independently-published books I find on itch.io, and so, here I am.  I want to review one book every month or two (or quicker, if I’m lucky); it’ll get me reading more, and get authors who often go without feedback some thoughts on their work!  I think it’ll be cool for everyone!

If you want your book reviewed, the only requirement I have is that it’s hosted on itch.io.  Even if itch is just one of many places you can get the book, I want to review books that have a home there at least.  Feel free to get in touch with me with your books—I’m @NaomiNorbez on Twitter (I refuse to call it X), Pillowfort, Threads, and Instagram; I’m @norbezjones on Tumblr; I’m norbez2.0 on Discord.

Looking forward to seeing your books! <3

__________

The first book I’m reviewing Is Memory Leak by @maxkirin !  M. Kirin is a streamer who I happened to follow not long before their book release.  That’s how I heard about it.  Some light spoilers below, but nothing too big is revealed.  Most of the major stuff discussed you can read about right on the book’s itch page.

The plot is basically this: a trouple made a controversial game that won many awards, and also got lots of hate.  Now, they’re trying to make a new project to follow up such a release, but spooky things are happening.  Will they find out why strange events are occurring, or succumb to the haunting?

Everyone’s trans, and I love it.  Adrian’s trans.  Eva’s trans.  Casey’s . . . idk, very queer at least.  She’s also missing for a while, which has turned the game making trio into a duo as they’re trying to finish their new game based on Twelfth Night by Shakespeare.

Most of the book is about blackouts & memory loss, which occur as development goes on.  Reading about those things hurt.  Especially the part where Adrian says, “It didn’t matter if he didn’t remember. He was making something. Something that mattered.” (pg 17-18).  That hit hard, as someone who’s experienced intense periods of memory loss in the past—that was during my pseudo-dementia era (more on that here if you wanna hear the full story).  I had a similar thought to Adrian when I was making A Single Ouroboros Scale while I had pseudo-dementia.  I was desperate to make an impact because I was convinced I would soon forget everything I knew, including how to make games, and everyone would forget me in turn.  It came out as well as you can expect from a very sick, depressed person (which is to say, not good), as I talked about in the postmortem.  I imagine that for our game development trio, the same result occurs.

The hauntings in Memory Leak are rooted in real-life problems in the game development industry, mainly crunch and overworking yourself in order to meet a deadline.  Though in the case of Adrian, Eva, & Casey . . . was a deadline ever specified?  It’s strongly implied, but not overtly stated, as I recall.  Regardless, as a creator in the internet/social media age, you do have to act quickly to release new works, or the public will forget you.  Perhaps that’s why they feel like they need to work as quickly as possible.  There’s some irony in that—the characters’ rush to be remembered, all while they forget more & more.  It’s sad sometimes, the things we sacrifice to be known.

Also, it turns out the famous game the trio made, King Leer, possibly indirectly caused the death of multiple people, and that isn’t mentioned until about halfway through the book?  It’s surprising how that information flies out of nowhere, like a sucker punch.  If one of my games indirectly caused a person to die, I would be haunted by that for the rest of my life.  But the trio seem to have gotten over it, somehow.

My main little nitpick about the writing is that Adrian is referred to as “the young man” quite a bit, and I didn’t like that.  It felt too impersonal, distant.  That’s also something I do in my own writing, referring to the character as anything but their name to avoid saying their name too many times in a row (I blame my OCD [which I literally do have, that is not a figure of speech]).  So maybe it irks me because I see myself in that repeated action. 

As much as I like the writing style, I do have to acknowledge that it keeps us as a distance from the characters.  They’re young men, young women, lost souls.  It’s like we’re also haunting them, a ghost from beyond getting a peek into their lives from the top-down.  The chapter openers reinforce this: in those, you, the reader, are brought into the story, from a second person perspective, and given information about Starling games from YouTube videos, forum posts, messages, etc.  We see them win Game Of The Year, watch as fans deride & praise them, stuff like that.  It’s definitely an interesting way to give us information.

A big issue is that we’re told a lot that these characters love each other, but that bond isn’t quite shown to me. One can argue that it is between Adrian & Eva at least, but Casey?  In the beginning, it seems like she dislikes Adrian & Eva, but then there’s still a scene where she cries while apologizing to Adrian for yelling at him, saying how much she loves him.  I got the sense that she clings to Adrian & Eva because she used to love them, for a long time, and she doesn’t want to let that go.  Because to let that go would be venturing into unknown & very awkward territory.  How do you break up your polycule if you rely on them to earn a living and make games?  Short answer: you don’t, so you pretend instead.  And when you pretend enough, it can become real again.

This is a problem because the love these characters have for each other is a core tenant of the book, especially in the climax.  I wish we could’ve spent more time seeing how they fell in love with each other, back when Starling Games was new.  At least Casey’s love for the others becomes clearer as the book goes on; that’s a good thing.

As for the big twist, I saw the first part of it coming from a mile away.  That’s not a bad thing—a good twist should fit the plot & themes, not be 100% unpredictable, and this twist did.  The second part of the twist is mentioned on the book’s page, but the execution is so interesting you can almost forget that fact.

Last note: I was hoping the book would tell us why the works the trio make are so fucked up, if they’re a reflection of the soul, or just dark spurts of creativity.  The reason is revealed, and it’s fascinating—after all, if we’ve learned anything from The Beginner’s Guide, it’s that art doesn’t always reflect the author.

Overall, I really enjoyed this book.  It was a very interesting story about the struggle of game development, and how our search for a legacy can haunt us.  The characters are interesting, and the story is very well told.  I would recommend it.

If you want to read Memory Leak, you can do so FOR FREE right here!  Give it a look!  Please!  I’m begging you!

Thanks for reading!  The next review will be of To Wield The Darkest Night by Beau Van Dalen.  But I don’t know what I’m doing after that, so please send me your lovely books!

[maxkirin]

these are not normal times.

[maxkirin]

these are not normal times.

[maxkirin]

[maxkirin]

I was curious, how long is Memory Leak in terms of word count? I just downloaded it, but my readers don't mention that statistic, but I was curious to see how big it is.

It really looks like a fun book! I'm excited to try it!

You're right! I didn't mention the word-count (gotta fix that 😅)

The standard pdf version of MEMORY LEAK (formatted like as a 6x9 hardback) is 439 pages! I hope you enjoy my book 🤍

[maxkirin]

i woke up today feeling a certain way

[maxkirin]

Feliz Dia de los Muertos 🪔💀🧡

[maxkirin]

🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! 👻

My book is out TODAY! [Memory Leak] is a psychological horror novel about an indie game dev throuple being haunted by their work. It's queer as hell you'll love it 💔

Best of all--you can download it for FREE

My Ko-fi Shop ☕https://ko-fi.com/s/3f23feb083

Itchio 🎮 https://mkirin.itch.io/memory-leak

DrivethruFiction 🚗 https://www.drivethrufiction.com/product/500765/MEMORY-LEAK

Please share this with a friend!! All support helps a small author like me 🤍

[maxkirin]

🎃 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! 👻

My book is out TODAY! [Memory Leak] is a psychological horror novel about an indie game dev throuple being haunted by their work. It's queer as hell you'll love it 💔

Best of all--you can download it for FREE

My Ko-fi Shop ☕https://ko-fi.com/s/3f23feb083

Itchio 🎮 https://mkirin.itch.io/memory-leak

DrivethruFiction 🚗 https://www.drivethrufiction.com/product/500765/MEMORY-LEAK

Please share this with a friend!! All support helps a small author like me 🤍

[maxkirin]

MEMORY LEAK comes out tomorrow 👻