melinoemothman

[melinoemothman]

Nephew-isms

5 yo- Hello! I am professor William Me- hi professor, what do you teach? 5 yo- Humans

5yo- The sun is not sleepy anymore!

5yo- Jesus can save us because He glows in the dark

5yo- repeating "make a wish on the pickle" for hours

      -"I wanna learn about the tornadoes that live in the water" (whirlpools)

      - he can't hold his new brother because if he does "baby will explode off my lap"

[melinoemothman]

Me- William do you want some soda?

5yo- no

*pours myself some soda and starts closing bottle, 5yo immediately grabs my cup and takes swig*

Me- dude.

[melinoemothman]

Endgame: Alternate Ending

The one person who can end Thanos even before the snap. Katara, arriving in her awesome blood/waterbending glory!

[melinoemothman]

a star wars epiphany

My sister and I were watching Revenge of the Sith yesterday... when she decides to make me cry by pointing out that Palpatine literally rubbed it in Anakin’s face that he wouldn’t get to be happy with his wife and KIDS, by literally calling him Darth Father.

Cue tears

[melinoemothman]

Weird song?!

I’m going crazy, I keep hearing this song at work. It sounds like a REALLY emo version of Angels We Have Heard On High. Like “Gloria, in excelsis deo” exactly, though I can’t hear the rest of it. And I can’t figure out what the song is!!!

[melinoemothman]

Confessions of a former Hospital Kitchen worker

- a lot of people seem to think that saying they are vegetarian gets you better food at the hospital. It doesn’t. All you do is set yourself up for some of the blandest foods you’ll ever have.

- As the dishwasher, I see what you didn’t eat. I see your names, and what area you’re staying in. And let me tell you. I worried like a mother when I saw that you didn’t eat anything for days. When you didn’t take the medicine I see left on your tray. Sure I didn’t know you personally, but I’ve seen people die here. I’ve watched families leave with the most somber expressions. It hurts me too.

- Nurses, I know that you are very busy, and I know that not all hospitals have you in charge of doing this. But the one I was working in had nurses take the trays out of the rooms. And it just didn’t get done. Several times I had to rush to gather dirty trays and clean them so that we’d have enough trays and plates for lunch or dinner. Please do your best to take the trays out of their rooms at least. I’ve seen mold on the ones that sit for days like nobody’s business.

- Please don’t put anything important on your tray. You’ll most likely never see it again. (like retainers and such)

- Nurses are not DIETICIANS!!! If the dietician says NO, don’t ask the nurse to change it. IT COULD BE DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH!!!

-Why do sick people think soda is the best drink option while in the hospital. Why do we even offer it to patients? I have no idea.

- They’re starting to have EVERY hospital in America have the same recipes. The same food. Which stinks.

- that’s all i can think of at the moment

[melinoemothman]

My grandma takes her Hogwarts house really seriously

She took a facebook quiz that told her she was a gryffindor. She was super relieved...

gma: I’d have hated to be a slytherin. me: Why? Slytherins are cool! gma: (clearly appalled) What are you?? me: A Gryffindor gma: Good. can’t have any slytherins in the family. me: ..... (my brother)’s a slytherin...

she might have some words for him if she remembers.

[melinoemothman]

Creator dilemma: Getting a brilliant idea, but then having to actually execute said idea yourself… and not wanting to share the idea until you finish it so no one steals that idea.

[melinoemothman]

Let me describe you a thing: My Dad

Picture a scary Secret Agent that most definitely has a license to kill.

Not literally, that’s just what he looks like. Though my little sister’s friend asked me once if he was an assassin.

Now let me tell you a thing: His favorite shows -the typical dad stuff like NCIS, Last Man Standing, MASH

and then there’s the ones he actually watches everyday (when it’s available) Like Victorious, Phineas and Ferb, Suite Life on Deck                                He can’t get enough! It makes no sense

[melinoemothman]

(Couldn’t find my ID for my new job tomorrow, so I went to the DMV to get a new one and forgot my birth certificate and social)

My sister: They’re just gonna have to take your word for it. (imitating me) Oh you can trust me, I’m Rebecca.... No it’s okay I swear I’ve been Rebecca all my life.

[melinoemothman]

Owl by Stefano Ronchi

[melinoemothman]

you wear an ancestor's face. you look like a woman you'll never meet. in that mirror, there's thousands of you. and in the bath, when you look down, she looks back, shaking and deforming in the ripples as she lies beneath the surface.

[melinoemothman]

Things I’ve encountered in life

-Guy that sounds like the bat from Anastasia with a little less of his lilt

-Old city bus driver that did a flip before getting back into his seat

-A rather red-faced man that asked me if I wanted a beer and proceeded to drop a ton of full beer cans out of his backpack

[melinoemothman]

Some of the ‘draw the squad’ that I made during these years, I’m putting these all in one post.

You can also find them in full resolution on my Deviantart page:Ariakey