mellauri - Tumblr blog

[mellauri]

no guys wait you're my favourite 'what if'? you're my best I'll never know? part-time soulmate, full-time problem? it's me and my plus one at the afterlife? you're just the girl all the boys want to dance with? and I'm just the boy whose had too many chances? you are the sun and i am just the planets spinning around you? joke me something awful like kisses on the necks of best friends? I'm half doomed? you're semi sweet? i carved out a place in this world for two but it's empty without you? scar-crossed lovers, forever? in the end I'd do it all again, i think you're my best friend?

[mellauri]

i also need a Moment to get misty over how the very, very last 8-ball of tour/2ourdust.....was wilson. a song from mania, fall out boy's unfavored child. the folie of their posthiatus era, a deeply divisive record, the record born from strife. i became such a strange shape from trying to fit in, in a tour that celebrates being unabashedly weird. i hope the roof flies off and we all get blown out into space so we sail out into the cosmos and we land among all the (so much for) stardust. i know it's just the number, but you're the 8th wonder - stardust, their 8th record.

the first 8-ball was ginsafs at wrigley. wilson was the last. it's a strange way of saying that i know i'm supposed to love you and there's nothing more cruel than to be loved by everybody but you.

i don't know. there's a symmetry to it. im so glad the final 8-ball of this tour was from mania. a tip of the hat to her, because she deserves it.

[mellauri]

[mellauri]

COOLEST MOTHS AWARDS: Ceranchia apollina; the "Ghostly Silkmoth" (Saturniidae)

[mellauri]

summer come back to me

[mellauri]

[mellauri]

every day wake up & remind yourself you are an animal

[mellauri]

I’ll convince myself I’m normal and then go to the thrift store and buy the ugliest and dirtiest toy so that it feels love it probably won’t ever get

[mellauri]

I gotta generally warn people that if I'm sleeping over at your place, no matter how civilised I was the day before, I'm gonna be in full goblin mode next morning. You're going to find me sitting on your kitchen floor in my boxers at 7 am, drinking coffee from a soup bowl and having breakfast from the same dish as your cat. Not even fucked up or hung over or anything, I'm stone cold sober. It's just that I couldn't find the coffee mugs and the wet food smelled tasty.

[mellauri]

[mellauri]

bobert smith

i dont rlly like how he turned out he looks uncanny

[mellauri]

[jerk off motion] "this guy thinks the nature of God can be described without contradiction."

[mellauri]

[mellauri]

found a piece of your heart at the coffee shop. and another on the sidewalk. and another at the park you loved going to as a child. and another tucked in the pages of one of your comfort books. another stuck in the gilded frame of ur vanity. and another at the spot u used to frequent with your best friend before you stopped talking. and another in the locket you have on your nightstand. and anoth

[mellauri]

morphing, shifting

[mellauri]

getting top surgery via leaving them as a sacrifice to the swamp creature living in the pond behind my house

[mellauri]