mentallystrawberry

[mentallystrawberry]

bpd; bittersweet package deal

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happy first day of fall!!!

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no words can show how badly i want to relapse no words can explain how badly i want to kill myself why would you abandon me

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someone to do spooky fall shit with, now please

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you are my oxygen yet still i’m only your second option

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to stay delusional, detach, or die?

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System culture is being able to use certain music to call certain alters to the front like going pspspspspspsps at a cat

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I want everything, every single piece of you. I want everything so nobody can have you. ♡

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i hate that my emotions depend on my fp, i feel so bad

[mentallystrawberry]

Reminder

DID isn't just having fun people in your head

Along with shifts in personality, it's often times:

amnesia: 'waking up' with no memory of what's going on

travelling and having no idea where you are or how you got there

dizziness

confusion

spacing out

headaches

feeling broken & worthless

fear

not knowing why or how you're wearing what you're wearing

nausea

pain

anxiety

finding things amongst your belongings you don't remember acquiring

time loss

depression

suicidal ideation & action

spikes in inexplicable emotion, especially anger, fear, and shame

body and voice dysphoria

depersonalization & derealisation

loss of control

hearing voices

finding injuries you don't remember getting

self harm

not recognising friends/family/colleagues

forgetting important events (birthdays, parties, graduations etc)

mood shifts with seemingly no trigger

finding notes in similar handwriting but something about it is slightly off

flashbacks: somatic flashbacks, nightmares, split second flashbacks to 'little things' but not getting more detail

bed wetting

age regression

inadvertently lying, or being questioned if you have

feeling like your body isn't yours

knowing something is wrong, but not what

wondering why your body doesn't align with your perceived sex (for alters whose gender/sex don't align with the body)

watching your body do things and having no control over it (feeling like a puppet or like playing a video-game in 3rd person)

mass fluctuations in libido: fluctuations from hypersexual to zero sexual desire

not being sure if things really happened, or whether you imagined/thought about them

identity confusion

+ many more

I have two book recommendations DID experiences: "All Of Me" by Kim Noble, and "The Girl in The Green Dress" by Jeni Haynes. Please check trigger warnings.

[mentallystrawberry]

please talk to me please talk to me please talk to me please talk to me please talk to me please talk to me i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you

[mentallystrawberry]

pls let’s talk foreverrr and everrr let’s go on actual dates we will be inseparable this fall love me like i love you please i need you pls need me as much as i need you let’s be each others top priority i want us to be madly in love with each other 24/7

[mentallystrawberry]

i think they should add pvp to DID. i should be able to fistfight my headmates

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I just want someone who won't leave. That's all I ask. I'd give anything to have a stable support pillar of love. I'd give anything to have my new scars kissed. Won't you please come save me?