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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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Louder than words

pairing : inumaki toge x fem!reader

summary : basically our boy having a hard time confessing his feelings to reader due to his curse speech >:(

"inumaki, is there something wrong?" your head tilted slightly, curious as to why your friend looked a bit frustrated today

"bonito flakes"

he replied in his usual tone trying to conceal the fact that he was having an inner conflict with himself

a part of him wanted to run away and hide but another part of him wanted to. he wanted to finally come clean and admit his feelings for you. although there was a tiny little problem

"go for it toge" panda's eyes gleamed as he gave inumaki an encouraging smile and a thumbs up

"theres no harm in confessing plus, i think she really really has something for you too"

inumaki shrugs at his friend's words

"bonito flakes" he doubted

i mean...how could anyone like him? he could barely even communicate properly. only communicating using onigiri ingredients.

he always doubted the idea of you liking him back. he assumed that you probably only saw him as a close friend

inumaki had his eyes on you ever since you first came to jujutsu high

the moment you first walked into the room as gojo called you to introduce yourself infront of them. ever since that day, up until now he still loves you.

at first it was a small infatuation he kept to himself but as he slowly got to know you better, oh boy he was head over heels

"hellooo?? inumaki?" you waved your hands infront of him trying to snap him out of his thoughts

inumaki couldn't help but blush at how embarrassed he is right now. he had a momentarily flash back to the conversation him and panda had.

"are you sure you're okay?"

"salmon"

"you sure?"

"salmon salmon" he reassures her

inumaki silently thanked the heavens for the mask that concealed the lower part of his face. if he didn't have the mask on, you could see how much of a blushing mess he was

he wanted to tell you how he felt. he wanted to admit the feelings that had blossomed up in his chest overtime.

"salmon roe" he uttered nervously trying to grab your attention

you slowly turned your attention towards him

"is there something you want to tell me, inumaki?"

"salmon"

he felt like he was about to burst any moment now. both from the feeling of nervousness and frustration

sweat ticked down from inumaki's forehead, unable to find the right words or right ingredients to express his feelings

inumaki's usual calm demeanor was replaced with an anxious and vulnerable one

your eyes softened as you waited patiently for what he was going to say

god he loved how patient and understanding you were with him

inumaki just couldn't find the right words to tell how much he loved you. he couldn't just blurt out a simple "i like you", figuratively and literally.

"tuna mayo" he pointed at you then pointed at himself gesturing that he's trying to tell you something

"what is it that you want to tell me?" your eyes were filled with much curiosity as you await for his words

inumaki gave up in trying to confess, it felt hopeless

he knew he could never mutter an "i like you" or "i love you" to you due to his curse speech

he really was cursed because he couldn't even express how much he loves you through words that came out of his mouth

he'd have already given up at this point. you probably would never settle for someone that couldn't even be vocal about their feelings for you.

sure, he could write a simple "i like you" on a paper and hand it to you or he could type his confession in the notes app in his phone, but no. he wanted to put his feelings into words that came out of him

but he couldn't, that was the problem

"inumaki?"

"bonito flakes" he waved his hands signaling you to forget about it

"but-"

he walked away— frustrated at his own cowardice and the curse speech he possessed

"inumaki wait!"

your voice called out to him as he walked away.

he slowly turned around to face you. watching how you pant to catch your breath.

you rushed to catch up with him before he disappeared from your sight

"inumaki i...i like you."

his eyes widened in disbelief from what he had just heard

he felt his heart pounded, as if wanted to leap out of his chest

"mustard leaf...?"

"yes, i do. a lot" you replied back sheepishly as you stared at the concrete ground, unable to face the man you've harbored feelings for for a long time

the pounding in inumaki's chest never stopped. he felt as if the pouding increased actually.

once again, he thanked the heavens for the mask that covered the lower part of his face. he was blushing furiously, more than ever now

he couldn't believe it. he couldn't believe what he was hearing right now.

inumaki saw how you fidgeted with your fingers and couldn't even face him (he found it cute)

he slowly grabbed your chin, making you face him

a hue of pink dusted on your cheeks— flustered by his sudden action. he unzipped the mask that covered his mouth and crashed his lips onto yours unexpectedly

your eyes widened in surprise, taken aback by the sudden contact of his lips on yours. but you didn't complain, no, it was the opposite actually.

you were beyond thrilled.

maybe this way, he could express how much he truly loved you. maybe this way, he could show you just how strong his feelings were— maybe even louder than words

a/n : ERM UHM OKAY i didn't like this one that much (i swear it sounded better in my head) BUT THE INUMAKI AND JJK BRAIN ROT IS SO BAD I FELT THE NEED TO SHOW MY BABY SOME LOVE AHHHH. anways, wrote this in ungodly hours once again hoped yall fw it gn <3

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #inumaki toge x reader #inumaki x reader #jjk x reader

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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📃 INUMAKI TOGE AS YOUR BF !

inumaki toge x gn! reader

WARNING! : a bit angsty at the last one, spoilers!!, idk bro

boyfriend! toge makes an entire playlist dedicated to you and those songs are probably from taylor swift, laufey, wave to earth, cigarettes after sex, etc..

boyfriend! toge loves spending time with you like cooking/baking, watching movie, drawing each other, having a picnic.

boyfriend! toge tries to remembers your complicated orders in a cafe so that he can stop by and buy it for you.

boyfriend! toge tries to order for you but fails because the waiter/saleslady cant understand what he is saying so you ended up ordering for him or translating what he says.

boyfriend! toge convinced maki and panda to serenade laufey outside your dorm while he asked you out.

boyfriend! toge shows off his martial arts skills during training but ended up failing miserably and you have to patch him up.

boyfriend! toge takes ugly pictures of you and makes it his wallpaper or makes a poster out of it and stick it to his room.

boyfriend! toge makes paper rings for his free time and gives it to you, you have a whole box of paper rings with different kinds of colors and designs.

boyfriend! toge gets super jealous if he found out you had physical contact or talk to a man and gives you a silent treatment, but by tomorrow it will just wear off and you two will act like nothing happend.

boyfriend! toge still kept your first gift to him no matter how ugly or cringey it is and calling it his ‘good luck charm’.

boyfriend! toge tries to comfort you after he lost his arms from the shibuya incident.

boyfriend! toge that appreciates you so much for taking care of him and doing your best to help him after the shibuya incident.

boyfriend! toge just loves you unconditionally and promise to place a ring on your finger.

yuan notes! : HELP ME i didnt expect so much likes in the last post 😭 as a thank you heres another post! request are open! (pls request and interact with me)

#hes so precious im dead #i love him sm #aki reblogs

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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inumaki brain rot so bad im tweaking

HIIIII hi ^__^ can u pls write an inumaki fic where he's a little snooky shmoopy poopoo booboo bear baefie cookie cake sugarhoneyplumplum pop thank u!

smooches4six

inumaki meets the person he’s supposed to marry for the first time.

inumaki was the opposite of thrilled when he discovered that he was to be wed to a stranger. he was less than thrilled when he’d discovered it was you.

a prim, proper heir to the kamo clan- a powerful sorcerer- a prodigal student over at the kyoto branch of jujutsu high- and the definition of a ‘type a’ suck-up.

inumaki’s watchful eyes followed you as you interacted with the elders of his clan and your own at your first meeting with impossible levels of respect- your traditional clothes and unrelenting smile only further painting the picture of you in his mind.

“hello, inumaki, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance today. i hope we get along,” was the first thing you said to him, again accompanied by your practiced grin. you took a seat primly amongst your fellow clansmen. inumaki could not see how your smile did not meet your eyes and your fingers clenched the hem of your sleeve with an undisclosed emotion.

inumaki responded with a respectful nod and the elders cooed at how cute they would be, commending each other on their prime match making skills and how this would be good for morals and clan relations.

“i think it’s best if we leave them alone for a few moments,” an inumaki spoke up, being one of the many who didn’t receive cursed speech and actually could, “so they can get to know each other without us hovering.”

the elders of the kamo clan, your relatives, who were overseeing your meeting, exchanged pensive looks. “i find it rather unbecoming to do so, i’m afraid,” one said, the rest nodding in agreement.

this time, inumaki didn’t miss how your placid expression flickered with something akin to anger, something darker- he was intrigued. he wanted to know more.

luckily for him, the inumaki clan was much more relaxed in tradition than the kamo clan- they kept pushing for your and his freedom and eventually, the other side relented.

as the two groups departed from the designated meeting point of the inumaki clan’s property, he watched something like relief glass over your eyes. once the last person had left, effectively leaving to two of you alone with each other, he watched in complete awe as your formality utterly dissolved.

you sunk into your seat, the fine china cup and plate you were handed at some point clinking against each other as you allowed yourself to relax.

“thank god,” you finally spoke, a smile returning to your face- only this time, it was different. it was real. “they’re finally gone. i was suffocating in there.”

inumaki snorted. he wasn’t expecting this. after a few seconds, you rose back up- this time in a more leisurely manner, with one leg crossed over the other and your hand thrumming against your thigh like a second heartbeat.

“let’s just get this over with.” the boy tipped his head to the side curiously and you sighed. “okay, well- you know my name, i’m sure. and i know yours. but i want to make one thing clear-” you raise a finger in his face- “i want nothing to do with you, or this ludicrous marriage, or my abhorrent clan.”

a switch had flipped in you and it had flipped something in him, too- he was looking at you in a new light as you continued your rant.

“i assume you feel the same. we’re sorcerers, for god’s sake, not pawns- but it’s not up to us, so i guess we’re stuck with each other for now.” you weren’t focused on inumaki. if you were, maybe you’d see the stars beginning to speckle his eyesight as he looked at you, falling in love just a little.

when you finally returned his intense gaze, you felt something in you soften. one eye remained closed, as to not activate your technique, but you met his own eye and relented, if only just a bit. “though, i suppose it could be worse,” your admission was paired with you shutting your eyes again and turning your gaze away.

you were quiet before continuing, and inumaki listened attentively, not missing anything this time- his sudden infatuation taking even him by surprise.

“if i were to be betrothed to a near-stranger, i’d rather it be you than anyone else.” you were hardly even talking to him, your brow furrowing as you lost yourself in thought. but inumaki felt a rush of something warm and hot as his cheeks warmed and his heartbeat stuttered.

inumaki was the opposite of thrilled when he discovered that he was to be wed to a stranger. he was less than thrilled when he’d discovered it was you.

but now? he was looking forward to it, just a little.

#aki reblogs !#inumaki x reader #toge inumaki x reader

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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OH MY LORDDDD

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄: 𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐈 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒

# pure unadulterated fluff, reveals >:) MORE FLUFF! wc 1.5k

a/n i am a sucker for the “he did that!?” trope. you’ll understand what i mean.

“thank you for holding onto it, yuuji-kun!” you beam at your underclassman after skipping over to him, nearly toppling over with relief when itadori revealed that he never once let go of your precious locket.

itadori grins, “no problem, senpai!” ah, he’s so bright. “here, let me help you wear it.”

“oh—” itadori spins you around before you can voice out a reply, leaving you no choice but to just push your hair and collar aside. with your front facing the field once again, you catch inumaki staring at the scene—the both of you turn away. “thanks, yuuji. you’re seriously a lifesaver.”

itadori hums, followed by a quiet click! from your necklace. “senpai, i’m curious, though. i always see you wearing this, even during missions. you only ever take it off when we’re training. did someone give it to you?”

you distractedly rub the locket with your fingers, smiling softly as you gaze at it. kugisaki and fushiguro look over, eyes curious and ears perked up with attention, alerting your classmates to wonder what’s going on, too.

the locket isn’t anything special. you were four when you begged for your family to give you spare change for it. it’s worn out, silver faded over time, but it will always be the most valuable object for you.

“no one gave it to me,” you answer, eyes fixed on the glint coming off from it. “i bought it myself.”

kugisaki leans over itadori, eyeing the locket. itadori makes a confused noise at your reply, clearly not understanding. “hmm, it is pretty. it clashes with our uniform, but i get it.”

you chuckle, shaking your head. “no, i didn’t buy it because it’s pretty. a locket is a locket for a reason, you know?”

“ah! i see!” itadori points at the clasp of silver hanging over your collarbones. “so it’s what’s inside?”

“can i see?” kugisaki’s eyes sparkle, and itadori copies her. now you have two of your underclassmen pleading for a grand reveal—even fushiguro walks closer.

your skin grows warm at the onslaught of attention, holding the locket as if mimicking a shield. “i-it’s nothing special… you’ll be very disappointed. besides, i like my mystery, you know?”

…

“stop looking at me like that!” you wail, flailing your hands over their faces to wipe those puppy-eyed looks.

“y/n’s right,” maki pipes up, parading to the scene. “it’s a dead flower inside.” kugisaki echoes a perplexed: a dead flower?

maki is the only one who has seen what’s inside; the aftermath of her persistence and you feeling too soft for your friend to refuse. she says it now like she was disappointed, but after you explained to her the meaning behind it, she looked pretty impressed.

that person… they must be really special, huh?

just the thought makes your face warm.

“what? maki has seen it?” panda wonders aloud, with a note of betrayal.

“you and toge were out,” maki snaps for your sake before you start panicking. “and i’m y/n’s best best friend, i deserve to know.”

inumaki’s eyes cut to maki’s, sharp. “fish flakes,” he protests.

“okay, second to him,” maki scrunches her nose. “but toge shouldn’t count. because i saw it first.”

inumaki glares at her, and maki glares back. a pink-haired teen bursts between them, eyes round.

“i want to see it, too!” itadori proclaims.

“it’s up to l/n-senpai,” fushiguro reminds him curtly, making itadori’s shoulders deflate.

“i don’t mind,” you assure them with a placating smile. “just pretend you’re not underwhelmed, or else my feelings will get hurt.”

they raise their hands in mock salute. maki and fushiguro roll their eyes.

your fingers click on the clasp clumsily, the gesture unfamiliar; you don’t quite unlock your locket every day, afraid of losing the contents held.

itadori elicits a noise of childish wonder, always one for the sentimentals.

inside, are petals, dried, shrunken up, and long dead. but the purple is like a spray of color that stands out from gray. to you, it’s still the most heartwarming sight.

the color reminds you of inumaki’s eyes.

your eyes flick up to him, only to find that he’s already staring at you curiously.

“a flower,” panda coos, breaking the tension. “someone special gave it to you?”

“yeah, he is,” you confess shyly, and their expression changes into one of surprise. romance was never a hot topic for sorcerers, so this one is truly a shock to everyone. you’re suddenly relieved that gojo is nowhere near to hearing this gossip. “not that you can meet him, though! the last time i saw him was when i was four.”

“...that’s—”

“real sad? yeah, that’s what i also said,” maki interrupts itadori. but you recognize it for the kindness maki offers in hidden ways—she’s thinking itadori might say something worse for something so special to you.

but itadori is not like that.

“ah, no,” itadori laughs sheepishly, “i was about to say ‘romantic’.”

you snap the locket shut in surprise, ears ringing with how loud your heart is beating.

romantic. they think it’s romantic.

you want to bury your face in your hands for the rush of giddiness you feel. maybe maki is right; this is really sad.

kugisaki scoffs, loudly smacking her friend’s head. “idiot! what if it was y/n-senpai’s brother? or dad?”

itadori looks horrified. “wait, y/n-senpai—”

“mustard leaf?” inumaki’s gaze is soft and patient, a hand on your shoulder to remind you of his question.

“um—”

“you’re kidding,” kugisaki gapes at your reaction, “you’re still in love with that guy!?”

“what’s up with second years and their devotion to childhood romance…”

“it’s not like that!”

inumaki sighs, reaching for your wrist. you let him, because inumaki toge would be the last person in a list of people you know that would seek to hurt you—but you’re not prepared for him tugging you so roughly that your chests collide.

“tuna mayo,” he says, head tilted in the direction of the dorms.

“yeah, okay,” you murmur, cheeks aflame. “get me out of here before i combust.” inumaki huffs a quiet laugh.

inumaki peeks out to stare at the small crowd behind you. “fish flakes,” he warns, and you swear you could’ve felt a thin veil of cursed energy in those words.

“we’re not gonna follow you!” panda says, laughing too eagerly for it to be not suspicious.

“…does inumaki-senpai like—”

“yes. yes he does.”

inumaki opens his door.

you look around, smiling widely at your best friend. you haven’t been in his room for a while, but mostly because he likes your room better so you two tend to spend your lazy days in your room.

“what did you want to show me?” you question, skidding to a halt when inumaki reaches for his windowsill, where his pots of flowers stand proudly.

inumaki mentioned that his family made him grow fond of decorating his home with flowers, so even here he takes special care of the plants he brought from his clan.

he reaches for a familiar flower, shaded purple from its care and fading white to the tips of its petals. “tuna,” inumaki murmurs, plucking one of it out and handing it to you.

you feel a grin snaking up to your lips. “do you want me to replace it…?”

“bonito flakes,” inumaki shakes his head. he puts the pot back and reaches for your locket, “mustard leaf?”

“yeah, i trust you.”

inumaki’s eyes crinkle with a soft smile as he clicks to open your locket. gently, he thumbs the flower in, leaving you with two, one gray and the other still bright and healthy. he looks very pleased looking at it, where his flower covers the entirety of the old one.

“i didn’t know you’re the jealous type, toge,” you tease.

inumaki narrows his eyes playfully, snapping your locket shut with: “bonito flakes.”

you were four.

everything is too blinding and loud, with the lights flashing and people from their stalls yelling for customers.

for someone, it should be nothing special. but for a four-year-old who just lost sight of their guardian and is now in the middle of everything, it’s extremely overwhelming. too much, that you fall to your knees and clutch your head in hopes of muffling the sounds.

a finger pokes your forehead.

you look up to see a boy around your age, with pure white hair and striking purple eyes. he’s holding out a flower, crouched across you as he waves it around.

but he doesn’t move, like he expects you to crawl to him. like you’re a cat prepared to strike for a treat.

“for me?” you ask, finally releasing the death grip over your ears. when he nods, you brighten, completely forgetting about why you were in tears earlier. you’ve always loved gifts. “thank you!”

“you’re real nice,” you tell him.

he blushes. it’s very cute.

the boy gestures somewhere. “tuna?” he asks, pointing at a frantic woman who all but rushes in to tackle you into a hug.

“y/n! oh, baby, i told you to hold my hand…”

“sorry…”

you hold the flower close to your chest, watching from over your mother’s back as the boy starts walking away— but not without shooting a knowing smile over his shoulder at you.

gloxinia - love at first sight

thank you for reading!!!! likes, reblogs, and comments r super cool and ill love u forever

#PLEASE IM BLUSHING AND GIGGLIGN RN #aki's delulu hours #aki reblogs !#inumaki toge x reader

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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my 1st 100 likes 🤯🤯🤯⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ TYSM <3

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 now playing ! - come inside of my heart — IV of Spades

he couldn't take it. he couldn't bare to spend another second with you while all these indescribable feelings bubble up inside his chest. he was completely smitten by your presence alone. the longer he stared at you delicate features, the longer caught a glimpse of that tooth-achingly sweet smile of yours, the longer he heard your melody of a voice, he knew that his feelings were much stronger than what initially thought.

he was aware of the undeniably strong force of attraction or even love he felt towards you. HE KNEW SO DAMN WELL HES COOKED. the longer he keeps these feelings to himself, it felt as if his heart was just about to explode.

he had to tell you. he wanted to, no doubt. but fear, fear crept into his mind. he didn't know how, how to tell you in the first place. heck, he didnt even know how to love another person. he was afraid of making a fool out of himself out there. he was afraid of accidentally hurting you in a way.

he wasn't the most emotionally intelligent person in the world, he'd admit that, but for you he was willing to set aside his pride. he had wished that you could feel the love and admiration he had in his eyes whenever he gazed at you. you must think he's so cold and stoic all the time (it hurts)

he loves you but he didn't know how to show you. whenever you had the chance to be together, he'd do the most subtle things to hint his feelings but you never seem to notice them. oh...how he wished he was a poet who could swoon you verse by verse. oh how he wished you'd notice the subtle hints he's giving (hes going insane). oh...how he wished you knew how much he truly loves you.

one day, once he finally musters up the courage to tell you, he wishes that your heart lingers for him the way his seeks for yours. but for now, the best he could do is to try to keep his feelings at bay and hope that the day he wins your heart over comes.

xiao, wanderer, dan heng, MEGUMI FUSHIGURO, TOGE INUMAKI, ryunosuke akutugawa, rintaro suna, KENMA KOZUME, kei tsukkishima, tobio kageyama, teen!nanami kento, suguru geto, RIN ITOSHI, sae itoshi, seishirou nagi, GIYUU TOMIOKA, obanai iguro

a/n : not proof read sorry pls bare with me i wrote this at like 3:30 am and i havent wrote in a long time ! thank youu

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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'till we meet again ─ ma chérie

pairing : neuvillette x f!reader

notes : 3rd time posting here and 1st time writing for neuvi sooo....AHSFHSFHFH

warnings : angst no fluff (?)

synopsis : the death of the chief justice's lover made him want to believe in the reality of reincarnation

fontaine felt colder than usual. the rain had not stopped pouring since the mornings spring

"hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don't cry" she says as she softly caress my face, even in her final moments

neuvillette's pov

"im sorry i couldn't stay forever, neuvillette." her eyes flickered slowly and weakly, trying to gather all the strength she had left in saying her final goodbyes

"there's no need to apologize darling"

"neuvillette, i hope that in my next life i would be able to find you even...if it was just for a brief moment"

"ma chérie...." my voice trembled as tears continuously streamed down.

"hush now, darling. hydro dragon, hydro dragon, don't cry." she smiles softly as she wiped the tears from outer corner of my eyes. i place my hand on yours and leaned in to your touch.

but alas, time is limited

i mustered all the strength and courage i had to say my final goodbyes to my beloved lover.

"ma chérie..... you can rest now" i whispered

her eyes slowly closed as her face started to relax in eternal slumber. the wrinkles the grazed her skin softened. the weight of her hand that gently cupped my face loosened.

there she was, her lifeless body laid peacefully on the bed they once shared.

"i am indeed very grateful to have spent my time with you, ma chérie."

"mama i want to play!" the child says as he looked outside the window urging his mom to let him go outside and play. "has the rain stopped?" her brows furrowed. "not yet..." "then you cannot play and go outside until the rain has stopped". the young lad whined at his mom's words. he looked at the gloomy clouds as the rain poured endlessly

"hydro dragon, hydro dragon don't cry!" thr boy cried out loud, hoping the hydro dragon sovereign could hear his plea.

it was an old fontanian belief, whenever it rained it meant that the hydro dragon was crying. well, that belief was indeed real as neuvillette's eyes watered with grief.

the death of his lover, his solace, his strength, his world, his everything. the pain ached in his chest as he gave you a proper rite of passage, the last time he'd ever see you.

"neuvillette"

"hm, yes dear?" he responded as his eyes were glued to the case file he was analyzing, still of course paying close attention to your words

"do you believe in reincarnation?"

he paused for a moment as he slowly looked at your direction

"im not quite sure. why do you ask, ma chérie?"

she chuckled "well, i think the idea of reincarnation is fascinating"

"what suddenly piqued your interest with reincarnation, dear?" his head tilted slightly to the side, puzzled as to why you suddenly had an interest in the topic

"oh nothing! it just, i want to believe reincarnation is real"

neuvillette's brow raised in curiosity

"oh? and why is that?"

"because if it is real, i wish to be reborn as your lover in my next life"

his eyes slowly widened at your words

"if it is real, then i'd be sure to find you in your next life and the next and your life after that." he smiled softly at you, reassuring that he'd find you in your next lives and love you all over again.

neuvillette sat down on the bed you once shared as he ruffled his hair in despair. the bed your lifeless body once laid in.

he suddenly remembered that conversation you two had in his office a long time ago. the conversation about you wishing that reincarnation was real. you hoping that in your next life he'd still be your lover and that he'd find you again.

"i will wait for you, ma chérie. ill come find you again, i promise." he whispered slowly to himself as he succumbed in his grief.

a/n : WOAHH 2 POSTS IN ONE DAY THATS CRAZYY 🤯🤯 this had been rotting in my drafts for a long time so i decided its time to finally finish it. anyways, hoped yall liked this, personally i really liked this one i hope yall did too!

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin x you #neuvillette #neuvillete x reader #neuvillette genshin #neuvillette x you

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meteorxiaowerr · 3 months

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HEART TO HEART — aventurine

premise ⁠☆ the five times aventurine bares his heart out to you, and the one time it works in his favor (or, in which aventurine says he loves you, in his own little ways.)

a/n ⁠☆ lovesick aventurine, i repeat super lovesick aventurine this is not half-assed, originally for @aventurne but then i decided it was for all but mei you will forever be known as the one who started this all ily, reblogs are appreciated. reader is the same reader from make a bet !!

The first time Aventurine opened up to you, he thinks that you looked like what starlight could be in human form.

Granted, no starlight would be able to keep him on his toes this much, though.

He speaks your name like a victory falling upon his lips, a measured weight in its cadence. Aventurine relishes in the way you look alert, placing your attention on him (and him alone), sticking to his side like the faithful subordinate that you are.

He's come to learn that you don't exactly do friends—you are the very image of professionalism, never crossing the lines you shouldn't cross; and if he’s not careful, you could disappear at the slightest touch, just like starlight. (Would it kill you to stay just for him?)

“Have I ever told you that you look prettier when you smile?”

You pause from your game, looking up from the chessboard you and your co-worker, boss, and give him a look that one can truly only enjoy if they were either a masochist or someone who enjoyed another's disgust of them. “About 25 times now, Aventurine.”

“You've been counting? I didn't know you loved my praise that much.”

Sometimes he feels the urge to always compliment you—because this is the only way for you to keep your eyes on him, to only look at him, and Aventurine has always loved looking at your eyes. (If he kept looking, would he convey his heart to you?)

You scrunch up your face. Cute. “What?”

“Nothing.” Fondness bleeds from within him, the Kakavasha of old seeping into the cracks of his hollow shell. Aventurine plays gambles, risks death, yet this feeling of elation is something that triumphed in all of that.

He wonders if you notice; if you know that his honeyed words are genuine, as genuine as a liar like him can be. Aventurine wonders if you can tell that every poke and prod hides the underlying meaning of desperation—the words he can never bring himself to say because he thinks he's far too unworthy (for you). Still…

“I hope you know that it's true.” Just this once, he’ll let you see, just this once. “I mean it. You look prettier when you smile.”

Just this once, Aventurine thinks. He’ll bare his heart to you just this once. It's a gamble, a risk; a gamble he wants to risk.

And indeed, perhaps this is what Gaiathra’s blessing is for.

He sees you bristle like a cat, so wary—but he sees the flush coating your cheeks, reaching well up to the tips of your ears, and he knows he's won. Checkmate. “That's such a lame compliment.”

“How cold.”

(To love is such an unpredictable thing.)

—

Aventurine has only three words to describe himself: loser, liar, and murderer.

He can think of other words too, like useless, stupid, disgusting, unworthy… a plethora of ugly, demeaning, visceral words—how fitting for a person like him.

There's another, too. Greedy. He's greedy. Whether as Kakavasha or Aventurine, the hunger to consume all lingers fresh in his mind. It's a need that knows no end, embittering all he cherished, cherishes. Like an iron chain upon his neck. He's greedy for solace, freedom; death, and—

“Aventurine, are you okay?”

(You.)

How truly fortunate he is to behold your expression, when your concern is as slim as the chances of a collision of planets; when the expressive range of your emotions towards him range from either exasperation or irritation.

His smile feels rotten today, unbearably sweet. “Are you worried about me?”

“You…” the traces of care don't slip from your expression despite the annoyance that betrays your tone. “Be serious here—you haven't been sleeping, have you? What is it? Is Sir Diamond assigning you yet another impossible mission?”

“No.” He doesn't know what's more agonizing. Knowing you care (and always have cared) for him, or knowing that he's making you go through all this trouble just to care for him. He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. “It's just a minor upset, don't worry.”

He doesn't want to be indebted to you. Rather, he doesn't want you to see him; vulnerable, weak. Allowing you to freely enter his study as he's buried under piles of duty bound work just to come across one of the rare times where he's just Kakavasha—alone, and shouldering everything even if it kills him.

Worst of all, Aventurine feels that if you see him, you’ll find out just how ugly he truly is. And then—you’d leave. Like starlight, out of reach; never to be seen again. (Humans cannot survive without the light.)

“Then I'll get you something to eat at least, so you can-”

“No, wait.” He speaks your name like a plea, and you stay. Relief floods through his senses.

Aventurine thinks that perhaps because of the vulnerability he's exposed, you've even become softer. Because why else would you look like that, looking at him like he's worth something? “What is it, Aventurine?”

“Can you stay by my side?” There's a crack in his voice that he wishes to hide, but you don't mind anyway. “Just this once.” Please.

“...Okay.” He doesn't know if he wants to comprehend the meaning of your expression. “I'll stay. As- As much as you want.”

Aventurine thinks that his heart has already been consumed, his greediness becoming his downfall. Why is he just like a fool whenever he's with you? Do you know how dangerous this is, saying these words to him? At this rate…

They say that to covet what must not be coveted is one’s downfall, and Aventurine is no different. His eyes trail over your form, every inch of the stardust that make you. “Thank you. Really.”

Aventurine has only three words (and more) to describe him: liar, loser, and murderer.

“Don't thank me, Aventurine. Just—get some rest. I'll be there when you wake up.”

But now, watching you stay by his side; he supposes he can add another one to his list.

A fool. (a lover.)

Well, he’s been called worse.

—

Envy is a face Aventurine has long grown accustomed to seeing.

He saw it as Kakavasha; the look others give when they see his eyes, when they look at his profile. As Aventurine, he sees it in the eyes of space traders as they gaze upon his wealth, how the eyes of others fall onto him as he walks past.

But the fact that he also wears its mask is ironic, especially given the subject of his envy.

The third time Aventurine bared his heart out to you, it had been an accident. In his foolishness, Aventurine had slipped up.

He shouldn't be jealous, envious of those who get to help you with the IPC’s missions. It is the right, sensible thing to do; because you make him feel illogical, unable to comprehend in the haze of longing.

(Perhaps lovesickness isn't too far off a word.)

This is why you make him break free of his self-imposed apathy at seeing you off. Aventurine checks the file you'd be heading off to. Pier Point.

In a sense of uncharacteristic recklessness and perhaps brought upon by his longing; Aventurine ends up seeing you off.

“I'll get going now- Aventurine….?” your words falter when you watch as your co-worker strides toward you, terribly fast. “I thought you weren't coming to see me.”

“I can't have my dearest friend leave without seeing their handsome colleague’s face.” he says, like a liar. Small mercies to his ability to divert his inner feelings—and to not think about the fact that seeing you makes his heart throb in an ache no hunger can satiate.

You scoff, and thankfully you don't seem that irritated. If anything, you're in a good mood today. Even let him see the way your head tilts to bite back a smile. “How fortunate of me then.”

(He is.)

“Extremely.” he calls your name like a wager, seeking an answer. “How long are you going to be away this time?”

“Almost a month, maybe.”

“...I see.”

He's sulking, you can't help but laugh. Like a golden retriever. “Why so glum? Don't tell me you'd miss me.”

And for all his grace at maintaining his carefully crafted mask, Aventurine's whole world stops when he hears the sound. “How could anyone ever not miss you?”

You pause mid-laugh. Aventurine feels his face heat. He slipped up. Again, because of you. Because you always made him feel as though the universe could stop and end with you; and that this rotten hunger that gnawed at his bones might just be that he cared for you far too much for his own good.

…And now he felt like he wanted to fall back into a sandpit and hide there forever. “Is that what you think, Aventurine?”

(The way you say his name is so intoxicating.)

“Maybe.” He can't look at you right now, or else he'll imagine it—how could you ever feel the way he feels for you? When you were you and he was… him.

“Then come with me next time.” you look at him as though he'd break at any moment; tender. There's something else, too. “If you'd miss me that much.”

You flash him a cheeky, lovely smile, and Aventurine falls.

How unfair you are, capable of reducing him to bits; bringing him to your light and making his heart set off like fireworks in the night.

For now, he will be Aventurine—he could never resist such a tempting offer, not when its weight was far more valuable than any treasure of all. “It would be my pleasure.”

—

Aventurine has always thought that the space in his heart is empty because it was meant to be.

Because he is not worthy of feeling—he is a tool to be used; every part of him taken away and exploited away by others at their whim. In short, he is his best bargaining chip at any stability in his life.

“Aventurine, you’ll catch a cold if you keep forgetting to remove your coat.”

But you don't think that way, and it confuses him, to say the least. Like a shooting star, traces of your existence are specks in his life that have become far too important for him to let go.

Whether it be indulging in his whims of poker, allowing him to see the sight of your expressions in embarrassment and resignation, or the subtleties that have led him to believe (at least, he hopes to believe) that you do care.

And each time, Aventurine embeds your name into his heart even further.

Even now, as you hand him a towel and take his wet coat out of the way, Aventurine doesn't know if this is a blessing or a curse. You are always like this—overwhelmingly blinding, tethering himself to you without warning with your compassion. “I won't get sick.”

“Uh huh. And I'm Qlipoth the Preservation.” your eyebrows raise, and you take him inside. “I don't want to end up taking care of you if you will, so consider this a precautionary measure.”

“Seems I'm in luck, then.” He laughs, genuine. You're probably the only one to be able to bring out this part of him. “Such an angel you are.”

“Stop patronizing me and dry off already.”

“Alright alright, no need to get so fussy.” he throws up his hands in surrender, and he waits until you leave his quarters, strides measured as you give him privacy to change.

Aventurine wonders if you know just how much he loves you. Because he knows he does.

(He has already reached a conclusion.)

Perhaps the reason the space in his heart is empty was because you had been dictated to fit in it, and that Aventurine knows he’d never want you to leave.

—

Grief haunts Aventurine like a ghost, an old friend. Anguish whispers in Kakavasha’s ears and dictates its path to be his destiny.

But love comes in the form of Aventurine’s adoration for you.

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like to die?”

(Yes, he did. He has always wondered.) “No.”

“Why are you asking?” It is a mundane question, spoken atop the glamourous balcony as you and him look down at the glittering streetlights in Penacony below, watching the people of the dreamscape live the life their reality never brought them.

“No reason. Just… I wondered.” You hum, and Aventurine notes the miniscule shiver of your body, the lowering of your gaze; you're thinking about something again. (He wonders if you'd let him listen to what you want to say.) “What death might be like in this dreamscape.”

Instead, his silent question comes in the form of his coat draped around your back. There's no motion of rejection from you, which makes him feel nice—even if it's just for a while.

“Thank you.” You didn't need to thank him. Aventurine knows that he'd do anything for you anyway even if you don't ask a thing. Because he knows that no matter what, this game with his heart on the table shall always lose in favor of you.

“For what it's worth,” Aventurine says, the characteristic lilt of amusement in his voice gone, replaced with something authentic, “I wouldn't want you to die.”

Never. “I don't want you to die either.”

(If only you knew.)

“Hehe, I wouldn't go down without a fight.” he says, and Aventurine takes you in—the ways in which you gaze upon the scenery below, watching how you chuckle as you hear the loud countdown to the fireworks, the way your voice has always been the light, his adoration for you a stone to grab on in his gamble in life.

There's silence. Loving you is like loving the way the air fills your lungs as you breathe, because loving you was as natural as breathing in the sandy dunes of the place he once called home.

(Instead, you took its title for yourself.)

He speaks your name like it's the last thing he could ever do, and that through you, Kakavasha lived, and Kakavasha loved you.

And like always, it's there. Your attention, on him, as he always knows it will be (and as he always hopes it shall be.) as you gaze at him like he's the brightest star in the sky. “What is it?”

And when Aventurine finally bares his heart to you for the fifth time as the burst of fireworks ricochet across the skies, he hopes those three words will reach you.

bonus: the time aventurine bares out his heart to you, and he gets rewarded.

Aventurine’s hair has always reminded you of the color of gold. It is the color of the sunlight as it gently basks against your skin, the color of expensive champagne the man next to you so favors, and the color of the edges of his sunglasses.

(You've always been fond of yellow.)

"Aventurine?" you say, tone light, urging him to wake up. He's truly relentless, adamant on sulking as though his most valuable treasure would slip away from his grasp like you are right now because you were running late. "Can you let me get up now?”

“Good morning to you too.” purple eyes greet your form and an arm winds itself around your waist, pulling you even closer. “And unfortunately for you, I'm afraid I don't want to.”

“I'll be late. You know Jade hates tardiness-”

“-And I would be devastated to not have my lover by my side and leave me heartlessly.” Aventurine feigns, the falsity of his hurt not affecting you at all.

“You…” You frown at him, and Aventurine kisses the crease of your eyebrows of your face, enjoying the way your cheeks flush the like burn of alcohol down one’s throat. “You're so insufferable.”

“Mhm, whatever helps you let out that ire of yours.” he looks at you like he would the most precious of ores, the most valuable of cards—Aventurine looks at you unabashedly, wholly, in affection.

“Will you ever let me be on time?”

“Would you ever let me stop loving you?” he presses a kiss to your palm, tender as his hand traces circles on your palm. Aventurine already knows the answer.

“Really, you're just…” you sigh, but it's exasperatedly fond, and Aventurine’s heart skips a beat. He finds his answer when you press a chaste kiss upon the edge of his mouth. “So insufferable.”

Aventurine laughs, and the die is cast. “If I am, let's make a bet then.”

“Ugh, not another one of those.” you groan, but you make no notion to refuse anyway.

“Sway my heart enough to let you go.” he smirks, cunning as ever.

You roll your eyes, though it's nothing if not affectionate, determined glint shining in your eyes just like starlight.

“Deal.”

Recently, he's come to a conclusion; Aventurine thinks that if it's with you, no gamble is worthier than this.

end notes im gonna kms i hate the ending like actually hate it this fic is the product of boundless hatred and the urge to never show it to the light ever but here i am

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