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[mightydragoon]

[mightydragoon]

Judging you judging you judging you judging you judging you judging you j

[mightydragoon]

Night Vale Summer Literature Camp au

(Dpxdc w/ a dash of wtnv)

Brief plot setup / background: Danny and Damian are twins, they were both trained to be co leaders of the loa. Danny and Damian had a very rocky relationship before coming to live with the Wanyes because of the fact that Danny had "specialized training", which was really Danny being experiment on with Lazarus water. During these experiments Danny and Respawn met, Danny for a long time considered Respawn as more of a brother to him than Damian, they still consider each other brothers but now Danny actually considers Damian a brother. One of the experiments done on Danny was an attempt to replace his blood with Lazarus water which made him need to drink a shit ton of Lazarus water for his body to keep producing blood, which is also how he managed to survive the portal accident of this au. On the summer of their 14th birthday (I headcannon their birthdays to be during the summer) Danny had begged their father to let him to go to a literature summer camp in a small town called Night Vale with his friends, Sam and Tucker, a program which lasts the entire summer. Bruce is reluctant to let him go because of the whole Lazarus water thing and so is Damian because it would be the first time they would be without each other for longer than a few days, but eventually other members of the family and other leaguers convince Bruce to let him go because Danny might develop an unhealthy dependency on them if they don't let him be independent.

As it turns out a whole class from a school called Casper High would be attending the camp as well. Chaos insues when Danny, Sam, Tucker, Jazz, and Jazz's cousin, Pearl, find an ancient portal underneath the town accidentally turning it on causing Danny who was standing in it to turn into a halfa, now the portal is premently turned on letting all kinds of creatures through.

(Sidenote: I have yet to listen to the actual Welcome to Night Vale podcast, the portal underneath the town came from me. I'm thinking about changing the town to Amity or just let it be a random ass town because of this. No WTNV characters will appear Night Vale is just the setting.)

Here's some fake tweets to go with this.

[mightydragoon]

not going to lie i am kind of obsessed with annabeth at 12 years old watching one of those "is megalodon still out there?" bullshit ass documentaries and she wholeheartedly buys into it because she's 12 and still thinks that if it airs on animal planet or the history channel it must be accurate, so she tells percy all about the totally real facts and figures and percy's like "that's bullshit. if we had giant sharks we'd know. that's such bullshit" and there's like..... you know how they canonically email each other when they're not at camp? there's like half the email dedicated to "here's what i did this week" and then 15 paragraphs about their megalodon argument. neither of them do any research about it because annabeth thinks she's done the research by watching the documentary, and percy is a) dyslexic, and as much as he wants to stick it to annabeth he will not be reading anything he does not have to, and b) why would he READ he can just ASK THE FUCKING SHARKS. but he's stuck in NYC so he can't ask any sharks until the summer, and the fact that percy is disagreeing with her means that annabeth is digging her heels into this argument and refusing to budge, so it's a completely inane back and forth argument because both these 12 year olds are just making up their own arguments to try and own the other, and eventually percy defaults to going i am a SON of POSEIDON i think i KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT SHARKS i am BASICALLY KIND OF RELATED TO ALL SHARKS EVERYWHERE BECAUSE MY DAD MADE ALL OF THEM TOO SO SUCK IT. and then he hits send on that particular email and has an existential crisis because, if his dad is the ocean, and made all the things in the ocean, and also horses, are they all his siblings? or were the first ones of each species his siblings, and now it's kind of questionable? how many genetic steps away is he from a fucking manta ray? he can't ponder for long because sally reads his email to annabeth over his shoulder and grounds him for telling annabeth to suck it, and makes him write an apology email.

and then they get to camp and naturally the megalodon argument falls to the wayside because of the fact that percy and annabeth's lives are a mcdonald's playplace for gods and titans to do what they want. but i'd like to think during the downtime in sea of monsters, annabeth resurrects the argument and percy's like I'M ASKING THE FUCKING SHARKS and marches to the bay and patiently waits for a shark to answer his I'm The Son Of Poseidon And I Have A Question call, and it does happen to be a traveling great white that answers. percy's like "i've gotta win this argument please tell me megalodon is extinct" and after crossing the language barrier, the shark explains that yes, megalodon is extinct. they don't call their ancestor sharks megalodon, sharks have their own words for their ancestor sharks, and because percy as tiny lord of the ocean is technically partially their god he gets to understand special shark language. but nobody else does, so when percy is explaining this interaction to annabeth and tries to repeat the shark-word for megalodon, he opens his mouth and makes a rumbling-clicking-bad-ear sound, and annabeth calls him a liar and swears he's making up this entire shark interaction and he can't prove anything. percy is so mad. he goes back to the ocean and talks to another shark because he's like I'M RIGHT AND SHE WON'T LISTEN and this shark, a bull shark, helpfully suggests that cannibalism might be the answer, because he's a shark. the conversation kind of devolved into percy nervously asking if all ocean life everywhere is technically related to him, and the bull shark is like no, no, no, that's not how it works, son of poseidon. you're not related to US. you're related to the WATER. and the bull shark sounds so happy that he could help that percy just beams at him and goes "thanks!" even though internally he's more confused than ever, and he has to sit at the bottom of the ocean having an existential crisis

cut to many years and near-death situations later, after percy's gap..... years, in which he just did not care for the prospect of college, and annabeth kicking her own ass during undergrad and now moving on to graduate school (shhh the chases can afford it), percy's wandered into a marine biology track. the megalodon argument has been buried by less fun arguments, like percy arguing that annabeth should help do his laundry because she pretty much only wears his clothes anyway. percy has made College Friends, and he's really excited to introduce his beautiful, wonderful, best friend-girlfriend to his College Friends. annabeth starts the conversation by going "i think megalodon is still out there" and percy's Marine Biology College Friends all turn to stare at percy while percy chokes on his own spit and tries (read: fails) to breathe

[mightydragoon]

i think it's funny that hera gave jason 6 months at camp half-blood to settle in and make friends, but knew that percy only needed a week to become everyone's best friend and the preator. also he didn't even last the week without antagonising several gods and managing to fully regain his memory

[mightydragoon]

local man forced to be responsible adult figure to several amnesic 5 year olds

[mightydragoon]

SON OF NEPTUNE IS TEN YEARS OLD!!!!!!

[mightydragoon]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PERCY!!!!!!

[mightydragoon]

BECAUSE I'M REREADING SEA OF MONSTERS AND

LIKE WHO WAS GOING TO TELL ME????

this means that he was most likely starting to create the books (in the PJO world) at the end of Heroes of Olympus, because he realized that he and his friends were so horribly unprepared and other young demigods needed to read about their adventures... my heart 😭😭

edit:

ok yes this can also mean Annabeth’s retelling, six years after the actual event, is still scary, and yes, ik that TLT has Percy saying that he’s twelve!!!!

six years after Annabeth told him the story, and Percy saying he was twelve as him reliving it as he’s writing, or the books being written at different times. That may not be how it was intended to be read, but that’s how I saw it! It’s just another thing that shows how small moments can be taken differently by readers.

[mightydragoon]

[mightydragoon]

Nico and Percy come across the Fire Nation Prince and Princess… pjo x atla au here

Jason’s been bitter and angry with his father and his control so when he meets the avatar and his friends and realizes they’re actually cool people he decides to switch sides even when his sister refuses to join him. and it’ll take a while for the group to gain his trust.

And Nico’s having a hard time accepting help from others while on his journey

[mightydragoon]

Luke being given a quest at 17, feeling like there's no glory in it because it's a quest someone's already succeeded before, but then failing that very quest he considered to be beneath him, getting a permanent scar, "ruining it" for the rest of the campers because now no one else can go on quests and earn glory in the eyes of the gods, so he turns to Kronos, and years later here comes a possible candidate for the great prophecy, 12 years old, gets the first quest the camp has done since Luke's fucked it up, and Luke is actively ensuring this quest is an impossible quest!! he's literally rigged it so Percy's gonna fail (the shoes, the bolt appearing in his bag) and then this kid somehow succeeds still??? and not only that, Percy got the unique quest Luke wanted in the first place and achieved feats no one else had and earned glory in the eyes of his father, all because Luke created the circumstances for that to happen??

oh my god yeah I don't think I'd ever recover from that either

[mightydragoon]

I just really like the trope of Danny getting summoned, alright?

——

After he shoved Pariah Dark in his coffin shaped locker what what Danny hoped to be for all of eternity, the half unfortunately inherited all of Pariah’s responsibilities.

“What was it again? With great powers comes great responsibilities?” Danny let his head hit the table with an audible thunk. He’s in his “office,” the ghost zone’s approximation of where he might be able to do work seriously. The house- the extension of his haunt- had added the room right next to his bedroom. Danny had to lift all of the paperwork from Pariah’s castle (that’s now also a part of what’s considered Danny’s but he doesn’t think about that) and move it to his main haunt.

He prayed to the universe at large to let him off. Danny hated doing homework- science not withstanding because at least he understood that- let alone an asshole’s centuries worth of work. Danny bemoaned the fact that he was elected the King. He didn’t even defeat Pariah all by himself, so why couldn’t the others do it?!

Like a wave of merciful fate, the beginning tugs of a summoning pulled at his core.

“Thank Ancients!”

Danny scrambled to grab a sticky note, unfortunately glowing green as things tended to in the Ghost Zone, and scribbled down that he’s been summoned and to not look for him until his vacation work was done.

With that note done, Danny decided to bring his A game to the summoning. Allowing his secondary form to wash over him, Danny quickly checked the mirror to make sure he was presentable. A bright glowing ice crown- not the crown of fire, because it was essentially useless without the ring and Danny wasn’t keen on being a king, let alone a near infinitely powerful one- settled across his brow showed his status. A cape, this form’s best feature, made of an expanse of galaxies, nebulae, and frost cling at the end was swept over his shoulders and pinned together with a cloak pin made of clusters of black holes.

A couple of additions to his normal hazmat suit and his trusty thermos at his side, Danny all but dove into the summoning magic with an excited whoop of glee.

As Danny got closer to the magic-made portal, he could hear the whispers of the living presences beyond it.

His summoners! Hopefully it’s not a cult again, even if he thought they were pretty funny trying to summon the king of the dead to kill more people. Not funny “haha,” funny weird.

How should he do this…? Scary? Funny? Oh! Or maybe he should ditch the crown!

Danny grinned, waving his hand to dispel the crown of ice. It was nice, but he was in a dungeon critter mood today.

“Oh, this is going to be gooood.”

Danny cracked his knuckles and put on the most dead-inside-and-outside expression he could manage, modeling it off of the Nasty Burger workers during closing shift. The halfa stepped through the portal.

——

“The ritual is completed! You will all face the might of Pariah Dark, the eternal king of the dead!” The villain of the week cackled as his cult cheered. Wonder Woman, scuffed and injured from the magical bolts these magic users had shot at her earlier, grimaced and raised her sword.

“We will defeat Pariah Dark,” she proclaimed. Her allies rallied at her proclamation and readied themselves for another fight. “This world will not bow to the likes of you!”

“We are all but mere ants before the king of the dead! Pariah Dark will bring forth the reckoning this shitty world deserves!”

“Actually, Pariah Dark’s kind of busy, so you’re gonna have to leave a message.”

Green Arrow’s arrow jerked towards the new voice. Batman paused, hand holding batarangs at the ready. He, out of all of them, knew better than to underestimate a young voice.

A gloved hand shoved through the green portal, using the edges like a door frame to heave itself through. A humanoid shape, with sharp ears all but crawled out of the Lazarus green portal. Batman wondered if this was what Jason saw when he came back to life.

"Lord Pariah Dark is busy?!"

The figure- a boyish not-human- heaved a sigh. "Do you people seriously think that the High King of the Infinite Realms isn't swamped with work?"

"And who are you supposed to be? His secretary?" Hal asked, Ring glowing and at the ready. Wonder Woman tensed and mentally struck Hal away from the list of people to consider for diplomatic missions.

"Me? I'm a glorified paper pusher." The being turned back to the cultists, his cape containing the universe swished behind him. "Did you have a message for Pariah Dark?"

"He was meant to rain down death and destruction!"

"Okay, first of all, I feel like you guys are missing a really important point." The being pointed at the cult leader. “It’s not called the King of the Dead for no reason, you know. Death comes for everyone eventually. Also, I have to do a seriously giant amount of paperwork every time one of you fruitloops gets the bright idea to cause an influx of deaths.”

Danny stomped across the circle, grabbed the collar of the cultist leader’s cloak and yanked him down. He shook him. “Do you people have any idea how annoying it is?! Huh?! Do you know how long the A-354 Form is?! Stop trying to get Pariah to kill people! I’m sick of the paperwork, dammit!”

"How- how did you get out of the circle?!"

The cultists and the heroes squared up, ready to fight the possible common enemy: Danny.

Danny is having the best time of his half life. Screw kingly dignity, Danny’s gotta de-stress somehow! He had a whole bag of complaints!

"You wrote the circle wrong, idiots! Ancients, are you people even literate? What even are those scribbles?" Danny kept shaking the cultist. Wow, what an amazing stress ball!

“Uh- hey, he looks kind of sick…” The Flash said, trying to be a good hero and mediate before escalating. Danny snarled and Flash held up his hands, gulping in fear as Danny’s eyes narrowed at him. “Did I… do something?”

“You,” Danny hissed. “You mother- fruitloop! Stop screwing with the timeline, you giant red-! Do you know how annoying it is to readjust the death count every time one of you little merry red jesters takes a jaunt through time and space?! Do you even know how many complaints I had to field?! Oh, boy you’re all going to regret summoning me today, because I’ve had a long time to think about what I’d do to everyone who made me work overtime!”

Danny bared his teeth, eyes sparkling with mirth as he froze the cultists.

"We're not letting you take over the world," Hawk-Woman said, raising her mace that pulsed with electricity.

Danny snorted to hide his wince. "I'm not interested. Just let me punch him once. Just once." Danny pointed at the Flash.

"Honestly, I can't even blame you," Black Canary muttered, fists raised.

"Wha-! Canary! That's so rude! You traitor!"

"Shouldn't have put skittles in my shoes then. Those hurt, Flash."

"Enough." Everyone shut up at the sound of Batman's command. "What do you mean they wrote the circle wrong."

Danny, who was watching the byplay with interest, shrugged. "They wanted to summon the Ghost King, right? We've had a... change of leaders recently."

"Who is the leader now?"

Danny waggled a finger at Batman. "Nuh-uh. I'm gonna collect my over-time compensation, which is punching the Flash, and then we can negotiate for information."

"Flash."

"I don't want to get punched, Bats!"

"The alternative is that I let the current Ghost King have a go at you."

"Flash."

"Oh my god, just get punched, Barry!" Danny heard Green Lantern Hal Jordan whisper.

"Ugh, fine. No one video this."

Immediately, three phones go up to record the Flash getting decked by a teenage looking ghost. Danny floated closer and wound his fist back, letting loose some of the ghost strength he normally keeps restrained. "This is for my overtime and for Clockwork, you jerk."

The halfa slammed his fist straight into the Flash's face, knocking him clear into the air. Superman catches him but Danny no longer paid attention to the Flash, petty vengeance enacted.

"Honestly, I don't have a problem with you as a person. You're kind of cool. Break the timeline again in the next three months, though, and you're on my shit-list."

"What do you want in exchange for information?"

Danny hummed. "Depending on the level of information, and I reserve the right to not answer any questions. For the name of the current Ghost King..."

He did want that new gaming console. And Jazz could use some help with her rent.

"I want $5,000 and a plate of really good spaghetti."

"I have cash."

Danny nodded at the Dark Knight. "You just carry $5,000 in cash on you? Who does that?"

"I like to be prepared."

"And he's rich," Superman chimed in.

The Flash reappeared with a plate of spaghetti from an Italian place he teleported to. "Here you go. Fresh, and pleasedon'tscrewwithmyafterlife."

Danny shoveled the spaghetti into his mouth, jaw unhinging like a particularly disturbing snake right before he dumped the whole thing- plate and all- down his throat. "Thanks! The food didn't even try to kill me this time! You're good."

"Does your food try to kill you all of the time?!" The Flash- Barry, apparently- asked.

Danny nodded as he took the cash from Batman's gloved hands. "Totally. It sucks."

"Identity." Batman demanded.

"Oh, yeah. The current ghost king is me."

"...What."

"You have been swindled. Bamboozled. Outwitted and outsmarted," Danny snickered, shoving the bundle of cash in his chest. "But seriously, I'm the king. We got rid of Pariah a while ago."

The crown of ice materialized.

"You said you were a glorified paper pusher!" Hawk-Woman chortled.

"I am! I'm pushing so many papers across my desk, it's unending, I swear!"

Batman growled. "You tricked us."

Danny smirked, "You got tricked." Red Robin, in the corner, snorted quietly. "Anyways, if you've got more interesting things around here, I'll considering busying myself with that instead of sentencing you to an afterlife of paperwork."

The adults straightened, grimacing. "Beast Boy is green," Hal offered up.

"Hey!" Beast Boy shouted, offended at the easy way Hal offered him up. He turned to Danny. "But have you ever seen a green chinchilla? Super cute. Watch!"

"Woah!" Danny clapped. Yes, he'll hang out with them before dragging himself back.

[mightydragoon]

I know you just recently got a similar ask but do you have any headcanons of just the big three? Thank youuu 🙏🏼

The Big Three as in the gods? Lmao Hell yeah. Let’s do it!

- I think mythology-wise this is the actual order of birth, but if not it's my order lol. Hades is the oldest, Poseidon middle child vibes, and Zeus (as we all know) is the youngest.

- Hades and Poseidon are the closest because they spent all that time vibing together in Kronos’ stomach. Over time, that faded, but they used to be super tight.

- Zeus was actually really nervous to meet his siblings. Especially his brothers. Rhea used to always be like “Oh, I bet Poseidon has my eyes” or “Hades would have such a soft heart,” when he was little so Zeus didn’t know what to expect.

- He didn't expect to be immediately bullied.

Poseidon: And where is this brother who so bravely saved us from the pits of our father’s stomach?

Zeus: I am here

Hades: Where?

Zeus: Here

Poseidon: I hear a voice, but it is small and puny. Speak forth! Where is the mighty Zeus?

Zeus: I AM HERE!

Hades: Silence, child. We are looking for a god. Not a quivering fawn.

Zeus: ...is this how we must start things?

Poseidon: I was so looking forward to meeting our brother, Hades. Alas, he appears to be replaced by this little lamb 😔

- The entire first war was really Zeus’ initial interactions with Poseidon and Hades (and vice versa) so it was essentially a getting to know each other event and they really, really tried their best.

Hades as he’s blasting titans: so....um, does one favor a certain color over the rest?

Poseidon, stabbing someone: Green!

Hades: I meant Zeus, brother. I know of you preference for green. Poseidon: I also see the appeal of silver.

Zeus, literally ripping someone’s head off: oh, um. Blue?

Hades: oh.... I like black.

- Zeus seems to be just so incredibly prideful and I feel like this could be extended to his brothers. You know the typical “yeah, I can insult you but also if someone else does then they die” type deal? Uh huh.

- I feel the need to link this post about the Rock™️

- They argue wayyyyyyy too much. Interventions are common. Rhea legit left the world bc she was tired of their bs around the 500-year mark. Sometimes during Solstice meetings they forget what their OG argument was.

Poseidon: Say... brothers, what was our quarrel before?

Zeus: Which one?

Poseidon: The one where we started that small war 300 years ago?

Hades: Which one?

Poseidon: With the goats?

Zeus: Oh! Well... you... you offended me, no? By saying My aim was lax?

Hades: No, I said that. Why was Poseidon involved?

Poseidon: I’m not sure... I think Zeus claimed me temperamental.

Zeus: HA! That is right. How silly of us to fight over such things for so long. Besides, it is well known Poseidon’s temperament is back and forth-

Poseidon: WHAT IS THIS YOU SPEAK OF?! YOU DARE TO SPEAK AGAINST ME IN THIS MANNER?!!

- Literally every single one of them is scared of Demeter. If she's upset then someone fucked up REAL bad. Wars have ended simply bc Demeter entered the room.

- Zeus secretly regrets choosing the sky as his domain. It just isn't nearly as cool as the ocean with all the different sea creatures, undiscovered places, etc... In fairness, he hadn't anticipated humans being able to explore his domain. The flying thing was unexpected. Now they won’t stop bothering him.

- I think part of the issue they have with one another and they don't think anything can happen to them so there's no need to worry about being petty. You know, immortal beings and all. Sometimes they go decades without even talking to each other outside of solstices.

- I’m convinced landmarks have happened bc of them messing around.

Zeus: What happened

Hades: What? Brother, what do you speak of?

Zeus: The hole in Arizona. I am king. Do you not think I know what happens?

Poseidon: Ah, a strange thing to say given you just asked what happened.

Zeus: WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN ARIZONA?!

Hades: Calm yourself. The fault is not mine. Poseidon wanted a pool.

Zeus: He wanted...? What? You have THE OCEAN-

Poseidon: Well, I took the water out afterwards. I thought you might get uppity.

Hades: I hear it is being called ‘the Grand Canyon’ now. So, the mortals seemed to like it.

Zeus: How were you even involved in this, Hades?

Poseidon: Well, Hades said ‘could you make a pool there and-’

Zeus: I’ve heard enough.

- Once, Hades wanted a week off and somehow convinced Zeus and Poseidon to take over his duties. Afterwards, Zeus literally outlawed vacations to avoid having to do it again. This was the start of Hades growing bitter. 

- And obviously they can be really, really, really bitter/angry/resentful with one another. Especially during the series given that they were, you know, trying to murder each others’ kids. When they get civil again they do like to do the dad-thing where they compare.

Poseidon: Oh, my poor son... of saving the world AGAIN. Perhaps your children can pick up some of the slack-

Hades: NOT THIS AGAIN! Well, for starters, one of my children is DEAD so jot that down. If your son is so great then why couldn’t he save her? Disrespectful. Secondly, my child as done more than his fair share-

Zeus: It’s so funny bc my daughter is the highest ranking position in Artemis’ Hunt and my son-

Hades & Poseidon together: NEPOTISM!

Hades: You know, how literally everyone on the council outside of Aphrodite got their seat...

Poseidon: oh... oh, damn....

Zeus: Are you saying my children aren’t worthy of their seats?

Poseidon: Have you MET Apollo?

Apollo, behind them playing his lyre: ...unnecessary, but alright.

- So Poseidon is fond of nicknaming Athena The Headache™ due to her birth story and just not liking her. Zeus had no idea and just thought Poseidon was in the same position he had been in and kept waiting for Poseidon’s headache to result in a godly child like his did. Hades had to be the one to tell him. It did not go over well.

- Rhea is the one who made the law about them not being allowed to enter the others’ domains without an invitation. Why? It is the godly equivalent of ‘MOM, HE WAS IN MY ROOM AGAIN!’ and she got real tired of it. It is one of the few laws Rhea put in place herself.

- Every so often they listen to Nico, Thalia, and Percy discussing something and inwardly be like ‘oh gods... is that what WE sound like?’ and the answer is always yes.

- I am POSITIVE that at least once that Hades or Poseidon went to congratulate Zeus on one of his many children and be like ‘omg they look just like you’ before handing over a rock. Zeus is just sitting there like ‘where tf is my kid’

- Part of the reason Zeus was so pissed about Tantalus tricking them into eating his kids is obviously the cannibalism, but also it reminded his siblings about Kronos eating them and that just wasn’t cool.

- I feel like Zeus gives Poseidon goldfish for his birthday bc it’s stupid and pisses him off literally every time.

- Whenever Zeus makes bad decisions king-wise Hades and Poseidon very loudly invite the other into their domains and purposely leave him out. Zeus low key sometimes breaks under this bc he hates it so much. It is how they managed to keep Zeus from wiping out humanity like 3 times now.

- Hades is the best at staying out of fights, but Zeus and Poseidon always try to get him to choose sides.

Hades: I don’t want to be involved in this

Zeus: Do not be a coward, brother. You know what you truly believe

Poseidon: Ignore him. I appreciate your wisdom in taking your time to decide, Hades. I’ve always admired that about you.

Zeus: SAVE YOUR FLATTERY, YOU INCEL! Hades! You must choose! This is why you asked for a seat on the council, was it not?

Hades: This absolutely not what I had in mind when I said I wanted to be on the council.

[mightydragoon]

I see your Thalia and Percy friendship posts and raise you: Thalia, Percy and Nico are literal fucking besties.

This is gonna be a long one, kids. Buckle up. I’ve had to give some thought on how to ensure their friendship based on everything that’s happened in canon and I think I got it.

Okay, imagine this: Thalia and Percy are hanging out in TTC and are having a lighthearted heart-to-heart. Towards the end of the conversation it goes...

Percy: You think all demigods are this much of a mess or is it a Big Three thing?

Thalia: Definitely a Big Three thing

Percy: We need one more to complete the trio of disaster

Thalia: Like the third member of our band. What would that even look like? I mean, they would need dark hair to join, obviously. That’s a requirement.

Percy: Of course. The eyes would have to be brown or black considering you and I took the blue and green ones.

Thalia: Uh huh. And aesthetic-wise I have the punk covered and you have the skateboarding look... preppy maybe? Ew. No. If we find a preppy Big Three kid then we condemn them.

Percy: Emo? Goth?

Thalia: OH MY GODS! Give me an emo or goth child of Hades to complete our trio PLEASE!

Bianca: Hey guys, what’s up?

Percy: Hey, nothing much. We’re just talking.

Bianca: Okay, bye (:

Thalia: Bye (:

Thalia: ANYWAYS! Percy, we have to find one-

Later on, they forget about the conversation until a few years down the road when Thalia suddenly IMs Percy at like 3 in the morning.

Thalia: Bianca’s little brother

Percy: What? Nico? Is he in a jar again?

Thalia: He’s emo now, right?

Percy: Uh, he might just be depressed-

Thalia: HE IS EMO NOW, PERSEUS! WE NEED HIM!

Percy: I swear on to any god that is listening that I will hunt you down and break your nose. Thalia, he doesn’t like us. You’re a hunter and I... well, don’t worry about why he doesn’t like me.

Thalia: Uh huh and normally that would be fine, but we need him

Percy: We cannot force him to be friends with us

Thalia: Is that a challenge?

Percy: No

Thalia: Challenge accepted, jackass

Percy: Just let me go back to sleep

Thus begins Thalia and Percy’s quest to integrate Nico into the group. Percy is actually friends with Nico so he takes the lead and is kinda nervous bc they’ve had a on-and-off rocky relationship in the past. Thalia hasn’t really interacted with Nico all that much yet so she only knows the bare minimum. Percy decides the best route is being honest upfront but he doesn’t know how to say “I need you to be super close friends with Thalia and move past any residual awkwardness with me in order to fulfill a lifelong dream of having a disaster Big Three trio.”

He tries to suggest Hazel instead, but Thalia says she isn’t emo enough to even consider. So Percy bites the bullet and has this conversation:

Percy: I want to do this ethically

Nico: ...I... are you talking to me? That’s not how you start a conversation.

Percy: We’re still friends, right?

Nico: Sure?

Percy: How do you feel about Thalia?

Nico: Um, neutral, I guess? She isn’t my favorite given she leads the hunt and is the daughter of the guy who murdered my mother.

Percy: Uhh understandable. Outside of that, would you be opposed to being her friend?

Nico: What the actual fuck is happening? I guess not? She’s Jason’s sister, right? I like Jason.

Percy: Yes! Yes, exactly! He - oh my gods. Jason is the preppy one.

Nico: What?

Percy: I - THALIA! THALIA! JASON IS THE PREPPY ONE-

Nico: Maybe I wasn’t even embarrassed to be gay. Maybe I was just embarrassed that I liked you.

So, Nico listens to this proposition and is just like “that is the dumbest shit have I ever heard, but for the sake of curiosity on what you two even do together I’m going to agree to this on a trial basis” and thus begins the actual friendship.

Yeah. Nico gets suckered in real fast. Part of it is that he realizes Thalia is actually really cool and willing to work on stuff with him. He’s uncomfortable with the hunters? Well, Thalia is the lieutenant and can make changes in some areas. What bothers him? More visiting time with mortal families? Done. You have to have trained for at least three years to go a quest? Done. Listen, the hating men thing only applies to some of the older ones and we’re working on that. Maybe if you visit more they’ll be more comfortable around boys. Nico slowly warms to them. Never completely tho. Thalia and Reyna are the only hunters he’s ever completely cool with.

Percy on the other hand... bless him. He’s trying so hard to figure out how to make sure Nico’s comfortable.

Annabeth: why are you googling “how to be friends with your ex”? Are we breaking up?

Percy: no, but they don’t have a wikihow article for “how to make sure your ‘friend who had a childhood crush on you for years without you noticing and was forced to admit it after a traumatic outing in which he had to pretend to hate you bc you couldn’t save his sister but actually hated you bc of the feelings he held contempt for due to being raised in the 1930s and also because the 2000s can suck too’ not feel uncomfortable with your friendship” so I had to improvise.

Annabeth: maybe try yahoo

This ends up being Thalia and Nico’s biggest bonding moment at first bc Nico decides he wants to fuck with Percy once he notices him being awkward. It was only fair, right?

Nico: Percy! Don’t do that!

Percy: Do what?

Thalia: Percy, what the Hades? Nico’s gay. What’s wrong with you?

Percy: I’m sorry! What am I doing?!?

Nico: I can’t believe this

Percy: NO I’M SORRY! HOW DO I STOP?!

Thalia: Honestly the audacity is beyond me

Percy: I’m literally about to cry. Just tell me what I’m doing wrong.

Nico: you seriously don’t know? Disgusting behavior. Annabeth is okay with this?

Percy: I don’t KNOW, I’m sorry!

Thalia: you should know better than to wear a shirt that brings out your eyes like that

Percy: ...

Nico: (:

Thalia: (:

Percy: I swear I’m gonna kick both of your asses. Don’t stress me out like that ever again. I did not live this long to be played like this-

Nico: Belligerently homophobic

Percy: STOP

Will is Nico’s self-control. Thalia and Percy are the opposite of that. They try to outdo each other constantly. Thalia can fly? No big deal. Percy can use water to raise himself up into the sky. Nico decides he’s just gonna shadow travel into the sky at night bc technically “the world is one big shadow” at that point. It goes as well as you might think.

They all take turns holding the brain cells of the group. Usually it depends on the area of foolishness.There are times where none of them have braincells tho. This mainly happens when they’re bored and want to try and combine powers to play games. Tag is a big one. Nico shadow travels to try and get away while Thalia uses lightning to keep there from being shadows. If Percy touches one of them with water then he wins.

Thalia and Nico bother Percy/Annabeth on dates and Thalia and Percy bother Nico/Will on dates. It’s become a very serious game to try and crash the others romantic evenings.

Nico and Thalia are nervous around water bc Zeus and Hades are always very clear for other demigods to stay out of their domains. Percy is determined to teach them both how to properly swim. It is chaotic and they all almost die, but DAMNIT Percy taught them freestyle and nobody can take that from him.

Also, Nico is just like “idk guys. Nobody in ancient Greece really did that much of the naked stuff of my dad like they did for Poseidon and Zeus. Sucks for you guys tho.” and Thalia is sitting there like “Oh... oh no, you poor thing. Have you searched your dad on the internet in modern time? He’s either a loud dude with blue-fire hair or a sex symbol. Absolutely no in between.”

Ooh I had that one post about them trying to pin the ‘royalty teasing’ that fits well here.

They all fight over custody with Mrs. O’Leary. It gets emotional. Thalia, as a hunter if Artemis, has a natural link with animals, so she claims that she’s her dog. Nico says she’s not even technically an animal, but a hellhound which is his father’s domain, meaning she is HIS dog. Percy gets very upset bc Daedalus gave her to HIM and YOU CAN’T TAKE MY DOG FROM ME-

Disney movie marathons. That’s it. That’s all you need to know.

Percy claims he’s the oldest. Which, well, technically he is? Only Thalia and Nico aren’t rolling with that. Thalia’s age may have slowed down as a tree, and just bc she biologically stopped aging doesn’t mean those years shouldn’t count. According her birth year she is the oldest. Nico says according to HIS birth year he’s the oldest. They can’t decide who the oldest is officially, but both Thalia and Nico voted that Percy is the youngest, which makes Percy super annoyed (“Neither of you have passed 16 years so I don’t want to hear it”)

Side Note: According to Annabeth, the order is Thalia, Percy, and then Nico, but only Thalia approves of that order.

Nico is determined to get Percy and Thalia to an actual therapist. Like, by gods he will do it.

Nico: It doesn’t have to be Mr. D. I will summon someone for you. There are lots of great therapists who are dead-

Thalia: Get me Freud and I’m in. I want to know wtf this ‘Penis Envy’ he’s talking about is.

Nico: You’re supposed to talk about your problems.

Thalia: My problem is that some random guy has a mighty high opinion of penises to think we all want one.

Percy: Freud’s theories have actually all been pretty much dismissed anyways. He doesn’t hold any real credibility in the psychology community.

Nico: ...how do you know that?

Thalia: NERD!

Percy: No! No, it was just something Annabeth said-

Nico: Nerd

Percy: NO-

Thalia: I can’t believe you’re a nerd

Percy, holding back tears: This is why I need therapy

Nico: Literally half your life is a reason for therapy and yet you choose this moment?

One year they all decide to dress up for Halloween. Thalia turns up as an ear of corn, Nico shows up as guinea pig, and Percy shows up as a pine tree. They all collectively announce they have dressed up as each other.

Another Halloween comes by and they decide to dress up like their dads and impersonate them, which was real fun until Hermes popped up and told them that Zeus was getting offended.

Hunters of Artemis vs. CHB Capture the Flag is really just Nico and Percy trying to beat the shit out of Thalia while she orders literally all of the hunters to forget the flag and instead attack Nico and Percy.

Nico is the sugar-friend of the group. He buys them shit all the time. When Percy fondly points out that Hades does the same thing to Nico he freaks out lol. Thalia immediately prays to Zeus like ‘you can try and buy my affection if you want. I would like the following-’

They get into an argument like.... three years later and Nico loudly proclaims his trial period is OVER and he will not be continuing on this stupid friendship. Percy and Thalia are so pissed off by this that they follow him around for a solid week saying that the trial period ended after the first year and he doesn’t get to not be friends with them. This goes on for weeks. At one point, Thalia threatens to get lawyers involved.

Side note: They all get into arguments A LOT. It is a constant thing, but it hardly ever affects their friendship. Usually they get pissed off for like a day and then the next time they see each other its fine. Common arguments include: the right way to eat tacos, who the best spice girl is, who has the coolest powers, stuff about the hunt, being called out on various things, whether water is wet, and between Percy/Annabeth and Nico/Will who is the cuter couple (and btw it was not Nico and Percy who had that last argument lol. I will leave you in confusion on that one).

Some of the hunters try to criticize Thalia for spending so much time with two boys... some of the hunters are going to have to deal with Percy and Nico roasting them for an hour. Artemis is too tired to stop it.

Nico and Thalia are both good friends with Annabeth, so Percy and Thalia decide they need to be good friends with Will too. It, uh, is an adventure. Will doesn’t know what’s happening, but he does fear for his life when two Big Three kids kidnap him for ‘bonding’ time. Nico has to come rescue him.

Thalia and Nico went to Percy’s graduation wearing “Graduate Squad” shirts with Percy’s face on them. They also brought some for Sally, Paul, and Annabeth who gladly wore them as Percy walked across the stage lol. Poseidon may have also showed up and made himself a matching shirt. Thalia and Nico lost their minds over it.

Every year for Thalia’s birthday, Nico and Percy take her to abandoned buildings so she can just smash the shit out of it. It is a lot of fun for them to just demolish a house together and sometimes it is the only reason Thalia still celebrates her birthday at all.

Thalia and Percy are both groomspeople for Nico’s wedding and they take this VERY seriously. Reyna is technically the best woman, but she doesn’t have the plan anything bc Percy and Thalia are all over that shit. They also both cry when Nico gets married.

Bonus if you like bi-Percy...

Percy: soooo.... yeah. What do you think? Obviously, I love Annabeth and don’t want to break up with her, but I’m not really sure if that means I can’t like boys too?

Thalia: Nah, you can. Sounds like you do. Congrats. I will still slit your throat if you cheat on her with a guy tho.

Percy: You know I wouldn’t. And that’s... not a problem? Nico, that’s okay, right? The boy thing?

Nico: (: no! (: I’m happy you felt comfortable to share this with us (: I wouldn’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me this kind of thing over a silly crush forever ago (: and if you any questions I can always help out (:

Percy: Thanks, Nico! I have to go talk to Annabeth. See you guys later!

Thalia & Nico: Bye!

Nico:

Thalia:

Thalia: ...you want to let it out?

Nico: what

Nico: the

Nico: F U C K

Thalia: there, there. If it makes you feel better I was thinking... if I didn’t have my oath to Artemis then I would totally ask Reyna out-

Nico: shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut UP-

Meanwhile:

Jason: The Greeks have a big three trio. Want to make our own?

Hazel: Yes, but we don’t have a Neptune kid.

Jason: .... Frank is a descendant, right?

Hazel: Works for me

[mightydragoon]

Shoutout to Percy Jackson for being a kids book that straight up murdered the abusive step dad instead of doing some bullshit redemption arc where they have to forgive him

[mightydragoon]

Percy's Eyes

Headcanon that Percy’s eyes change color to match the nearest major body of water. His eyes becoming murky near the Hudson and the East River. His eyes clear as crystal in the Mediterranean. His eyes getting white-ish flecks when the waves are rough. His eyes becoming dark when a storm rages on the sea. His eyes being an entrancing, misty green with gold and reddish flecks at sunrise. Imagine Annbeth freaking out when his eyes become a dull gray/green in the Cocytus.