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I’m tired of moving on… can god give me something to hold onto for a change

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sorry for being romantic, i‘ll go back to being scared of love. give me a second

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Timeline where Benson and Randy become a thing because they always close together.

Stoic and quiet Benson just watching Randy being so focused on his task but it's different from the focus he usually has. When it's just them he's relaxed, no shoulders to ears, no balled hands. No, when it's just them he wipes the tables and sometimes Benson sees a smile slip onto his face and wonders why the fuck he would be smiling at work.

Benson starts slow one day. Asks about his family, what he did before Burgers, his friends. Learns how hopelessly pathetic he is. He starts needling him, asks a bunch of dumbass questions and doesn't notice himself becoming relaxed around the other as well. He rambles about fucking nothing for hours while Randy just nods or quirks an eyebrow. Randy takes his breaks at the same time as him, trails out after him for a smoke break even though he just stands off to the side or sits down on the curb. Benson pushes the toe of his boot into his back, side or thigh but not to hurt him, just to play around. He barely notices himself doing it. Mostly, Randy leans whichever way Benson pushes him but sometimes he pushes back against the boot in his muscles and Benson wonders if he bruises easily, if he was leaving marks on him without even knowing. He doesn't linger on the thought when he jerks off. He doesn't think about his big hands and his gangly limbs, his cute down-turned smile. He doesn't think about the way that Randy hops up to him, or about the way he likes to sit near Benson during their breaks. He doesn't think about the way he smells in the morning, or the scent of sweat afterwards. Definitely doesn't think about him being a virgin. No, no he doesn't think about Randy at all.

Randy starts bringing him lunch when he notices that Benson doesn't ever bring anything. First he just shares whatever he has, snapping at Benson when he keeps refusing. He eats reluctantly, mostly to humour the boy but he wouldn't ever admit that. One day Randy brings him his own sandwiches, two wrapped into sandwich paper. Then he brings him containers of noodles or rice, brings him snacks on hot days.

They start to check the schedule at the same time, their shoulders brushing. Fingertips smearing over the paper to align their names and shifts. Randy grinning whenever they hit the same one, Benson knocking their shoulders together and scoffing. Tells him it's not that serious when Randy whines about not working together. One time, Benson was scheduled with Jess for the night. He sighed, and when Randy told him not to sulk he had snapped at him more harshly than necessary. They didn't talk about it when Jess got the day off and was replaced by Randy working a double. They talked about migration patterns, the loss of physical media and Benson's horror VHS collection instead.

Another day Benson is out of cigarettes. He throws the box on the ground in an embarrassing fit. Fucking addict. Randy picks it up and tells him to wait a second, rushes up around the front of the building. He's back in a minute, out of breath and presenting Benson a still wrapped box of the cigarettes he always smokes.

"What the fuck is this?" he asks, taking the box when Randy shakes it at him.

"Your cigarettes... It's the right brand, right?" Randy sits down in the curb, starts undoing and lacing his sneakers back up like he always does.

"Why do you have these? Ya don't even smoke." Benson settles next to him. Shakes out the cigarette and puts it between his lips.

"But you do." Benson tries not to choke on the smoke.

The first time Randy doubles over from laughing Benson feels sick to his stomach. He ignores him for three shifts, even swapping one with Donnie, before Randy corners him in the bathroom basically begging him to talk to him. He stumbles all over the place with his words, bloody fingernails and bitten lips and Benson wants to kiss him until his mouth tastes like iron. He gives in then, pats Randy's head and grabs his neck, tells him that they're cool.

Randy follows him around for the entire shift. Benson turns and the boy is right there. It's fucking annoying but his stomach flips anyways. He can't stop thinking about kissing him.

They clean up, grab their jackets and lock up. Randy rattles the door to check if Benson could use a fucking key before they shuffle to their cars. Randy babbles about nothing, making broad arches with his hands that make Benson shake his head. Randy goes to unlock his door but Benson is on him, draped over his back, hands sneaking around his waist.

"What you doin' tonight, pretty boy?" each word a cloud-like kiss against the shell of Randy's ear.

"Uhm... Eat dinner?" Benson can't help but laugh, his head drops to Randy's shoulder before he mouths back up against the side of his neck. The other is frozen against his front but he could work him up, he knew he could.

"Ya wanna go home with me? Hmm?" Benson wraps his hand around Randy's jaw, tilts his head a bit so their eyes could meet. Big and round but there is no trace of fear in them. When was the last time someone had looked at him with something that wasn't fear or indifference? "Or is mommy waitin' for ya?"

"No, yes, I mean... uhm, and... and what would we do, exactly?" Randy isn't stupid but sometimes he needs a bit too much reassurance. It is a chore to spell everything out for him, one that Benson always tries to complete. He is eager to prove to Randy that he could handle him—doesn't know why he feels that way, as if he would be able to keep the boy strapped down to him and this life. As if there weren't better things out there. As if it wasn't just a fling.

"Meet my ma, you fuckin' idiot," laughs Benson, turning him around. He presses close until the other couldn't go back any further. He lets his forehead fall to Randy's, closes his eyes before speaking. "can do whatever ya want."

"Wha—What I want?" Randy was shaking under his hands and Benson was going to pull away but, finally, a set of hands clings to his jacket. He feels encouraged enough to hold Randy's face with both his hands, smearing the grease of the day across his cheek. He looks at him then and feels like a fucking ridiculous for the way his heart flips in his chest.

"That's right, baby, whatever you want." Benson can feel the way his face heats up under his hands and he is obsessed. He leans in, kisses the spot under his eye, the shell of his ear and wonders when he had become fucking soft. He has Randy right here in his hands and why, why, why hasn't he devoured him yet?

They drive to Benson's place. A steady hand on Randy's neck then the small of his back, tells him to be quiet so they don't wake his ma. They sneak past like a couple of teenagers and Randy is beaming when they enter Benson's room. It's messy but it's his, posters on the wall from when he was young. Cassettes and VHS tapes, magazines messing up the corners of his room. Dirty laundry, bills and other useless fucking mail. Randy is turning in a circle before he is dragged back against Benson and he seems more relaxed. He can't imagine why the fuck he would be relaxed in the lion's den.

They kiss, messy and too much. Randy is barely able to keep up but he's so eager, making all these noises, that Benson can't even make fun of him. He pushes him onto the bed, climbs onto him. Randy is gasping and moaning, grabbing at Benson and he tries not to get overwhelmed, tries not to lose himself in the wrong moment. He grinds into him, kisses the sounds out of him and feels a bit better when he pins Randy's hands down to the bed. Randy is all breathy and sweaty and Benson breathes in him in, tries to memorise it all because it would slip from him soon.

"Am I doing okay?" mumbles Randy against his mouth and Benson groans. He lets his wrists go, has to touch him more, has to feel everything that the other would let him. He pulls his shirt up, slides his hands against Randy's rips.

"You're doin' perfect, baby." kisses the spot on Randy's neck that seems to be his favourite. Hips kicking up against his and Randy cums in his pants like a virgin. Benson can't even laugh at him, kissing him through it and mumbling praise into the side of his face.

Randy is blissed out and Benson can't stop looking at his face. The other makes a move for his belt but Benson holds his wrist, kissing up his arm to his elbow, to his shoulder.

"Do you not want me?" and he sounds so damn teary that Benson's heart cracks. He kisses him again, deep and slow. Tries to tell him everything he feels for him through it. How he is the first real connection he has ever had. How he is the only person in the world that knows Benson past his name and age.

"I want ya." he breathes against Randy's lips. "But I ain't breaking ya in on the first try."

He gets up despite Randy's whiny little sounds, throws boxers and an old pair of sweatpants at him. The other changes right there on his bed, Benson doesn't look.

"I can't feel my legs," giggles the boy and Benson can only snort from his side of the room, throwing a horror movie into the tape player.

He comes back to him, his heart kicking up at the thought of always coming back to him. He slides in next to Randy and is too surprised when the other opens his arms for him instead, when he is the one curling into Randy's side instead of the other way around.

"I thought you would kick me out," says Randy quietly after a while. Benson blinks his eyes open and wonders when he had closed them.

"Ya think that low of me?" he tries not to let his hurt show through his voice but Randy must've caught it anyway because he shifts onto his side to hug him, movie forgotten.

"No, just... that you didn't really like me."

"Moron, I like ya just fine."

And maybe that was too much of a confession by the way that Randy's heart speeds up but Benson just kisses his collarbone and neck. Randy shivers under the attention before loudly yawning. Benson pats his side like a dog's.

"Go to sleep," acts like he wasn't the one asleep just a moment ago.

"Say it again." greedy.

"I like you, Randy." Randy's legs do something that he can equivalate to a dog wacking its tail. "Now sleep."

And maybe Benson feels too good when he wakes the next morning, wrapped up in the other. Maybe he tries to forget that this wouldn't be forever and maybe he pretends to ignore the way that Randy's eyes seem to sparkle when he wakes up and sees Benson's face.

Maybe he accepts Randy's all too normal good morning kiss and maybe he doesn't push it down when his mind repeats mine, mine, mine, mine, mine over, and over, and over again.

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I can't believe you would do this to gooses everywhere lmao whenever i see that word now i SNARL AND HISS. but this is just to say you're a great writer 🫶🏼

if you're still doing drabbles, what about ranson successfully escaping and benson somehow ending up as a fireman? like maybe he helped in an emergency once and they go 'hey you should volunteer' and randy convinces him and he ends up as part of the crew. Comes home covered in sweat and soot 😍

THANK YOU 😭😭 I was lowkey worried how people would react but everyone seemed to like the... event? Wtf do you call it. Whatever, but YAY!!! #GooseHate

Your mind, lowkey omg...

Benson and Randy have temporarily settled down at the edge of a small forest, near a little ass town that nobody knows the name of. The inhabitants know of their presence, Randy went out of his way to introduce himself to a few of them just to keep options open.

"What fuckin' options?" Benson scoffs but Randy just shrugs, sitting close next to him on a bench. He wasn't ready to admit that he thinks they should stay there a little longer. Maybe forever. So he makes nice with people to find them potential jobs—babysittig, Benson using his mechanical skills. But he isn't really ready to let the other leave his field of vision, so he doesn't say anything.

After two months they start running low on money. Benson doesn't tell Randy but he knows. Of course, he knows. He lies awake at night, tracing stars into Benson's skin and thinks about them losing all their fucking money. Thinks that there is only so much they can do and how tired he is of stealing, of robbing, of Benson being in danger.

One day, they're out for chores. Groceries, taking Benson on a walk because he gets antsy staying inside all day. They split for just a moment; Benson goes to the liquor store, Randy walks up the street to the tiny, tiny bookstore that he has come to love.

A fire lit up the house of the woman that always talks to Randy, to the kid that always clings to the other's leg to hide from Benson behind the very person that belongs to him. The mother cries outside the house, held back by two other women. He doesn't know why but he rushes up to them, babbling and tears and spit and he's inside the house looking for a fucking kid that he doesn't even know the name of.

She's not far away, just past the doorway and down some way in the living room. She's small, fragile and easy to pick up. He carries her out, right into the arms of the firefighters that finally fucking arrived. They take her from him, and Benson just watches. The mother is on him in a moment, hugging him, thanking him over and over and before he can tense up and explode from the intrusion Randy is there, pulling at his shoulder to turn him around.

Randy's eyes are big and round, asking what happened and Benson can just wave in the direction of the girl and her mother. Randy hugs him and he relaxes under the hands he knows.

"You idiot! You could've gotten hurt." says Randy but there's no real bite in his voice.

"Nobody was there to help her." mumbled Benson and he feels strangely empty.

"You were." Randy pats his back like you'd do an upset toddler and Benson doesn't know what that's supposed to mean. They pull away, Randy rubbing the sleeve of his jacket over Benson's dirty face, pull further away when someone starts talking to them, one of the firemen. The fire is under control, almost completely put out. They shake hands, Benson just kind of dazed. They kind of circle the two of them, telling him he did a good job, that the station is understaffed since they're such a small town, that they would totally take him up if he volunteered since he seems absolutely capable. Benson waves it off but Randy tells them they'd think about it, come back to it later.

They get into a fight about it at home, of course. Randy wants him to do it and Benson would rather die. Benson yells like he does while Randy throws words too well aimed in a tone that always, always, hurts the other. He leaves, Randy just stands in the middle of the room before deflating. Slamming doors and heavy silence the entire evening. Randy sits in front of the TV, watching a documentary when Benson comes slinking back inside. He takes off his jacket, his shoes, pads over and sits down next to Randy. He reaches and, because Randy is weak and too soft on him, he lets himself get pulled into Benson's lap—legs getting moved over one of Benson's, his shoulders settled right under his arm. The side of Benson's face against Randy's head.

"You'll be by yourself then. Ya know that I don't like not seein' ya." says Benson and Randy can hear the apology in it.

"You got out of here pretty quickly for not like it." Randy didn't often allow himself to bitch but the closer they were the easier it felt to let it slip.

"Yeah, well, you pissed me off." Benson pats his hair.

They don't really talk about it again but the next day Randy is out of the house and down the street to the town. He gets himself two jobs as a babysitter, a part time job in the little bookshop. Benson is mad, doesn't talk to him for two days. But Randy works, stays away from home until Benson is desperate for him to be there when he is. So he goes to the damn fire station and volunteers, gets taken up almost immediately even though he doesn't pass the speed test and half of the sport test. He's old, tell him he'll get there. They're kind to him and he hates it.

He comes home all grim and exhausted but Randy almost jumps in the air when he tells him about it and maybe it's worth it for the smile and kisses he gets. Maybe it's worth it for that happiness radiating off of Randy and maybe it's worth it when the other lets him do whatever he wants as a treat. He leaves as many marks as he's able.

Randy drops the babysitter job, only does part time in the bookshop and takes care of things around home. The small garden that Benson used to scoff at but has come to like in secret that wasn't really a secret at all. He fixes the lights and stove by himself, finally builds that bookshelf that Benson is always too lazy to do for him.

Benson comes home to him and Randy's heart flutters every single time. He can't help but loiter about by the door until he finally hears the crunch of his boots and he's too desperate to feel embarrassed when throws himself at him as soon as the door opens. Benson pretends to be annoyed but he's kissing Randy's mouth open and nosing along his jawline, enjoying the way that the other bends around him. It's cliche, it's so cliche, but they both feel the strain that time apart inflicts on them. Some days Randy cries just because Benson is gone and when the other comes home to his red eyed boy he scoffs and asks "are ya on your fuckin' period?" but makes sure to take especially good care of him.

Some days Benson comes home dirty, sweaty and Randy can't get enough. He follows him around, sticks his nose into his neck and doesn't even bother to hide how he breathes him in. Benson can't help but take him then, smearing his dirty hands across his pretty skin and roughing him up. Randy has barely ever felt better. He is so devastatingly desperate that Benson lets himself be pushed down onto the bed, knowing that Randy will whine about the sheets afterwards. Lets the other climb into his lap and kiss him until he can barely breathe before he takes over and gives him whatever he asks for.

He doesn't know, though, that Benson never showers at the station because he wants to get home to him as quickly as possible.

And maybe the other doesn't need to know that the guys at the station tease Benson about him. That they call him his little wife, that he has a polaroid of Randy sleeping stuck in his locker and another one in the pocket of his jacket. That he shows off new ones to the guys like prized possessions because he knows that Randy is so far removed from them that it doesn't matter, that he will only ever belong to him. Maybe it's Benson's little secret that the others bother him about marriage because he is the only one unmarried, that they would throw them an unofficial one—fuck the fucking state and their laws. That, on slow days, they dream up the wedding as if it's the most serious business on earth while Benson just sits in his corner and tries not to grin.

The way they all stand at the windows of the station to gawk and whistle when Randy brings him his dinner that he purposely forgot in the morning. Randy burnt the brightest red and spluttered in panic when Benson kissed him in front of them for the first time.

"They know you're mine." he had whispered into his ear and Randy made a whimpering sound that Benson wanted to drink up and lock inside his chest forever. And it's so easy. All of it feels so easy that some days he feels too sick to move. And other days it feels so easy that he can't help the spring in his step, the manic tweak in his voice.

Maybe they meet up for drinks, almost everyone brings their respective partners. Randy runs late because he has to lock up the store so he is last to arrive. He enters all mousy and twitchy, hands wringing instead of biting. Benson's eyes immediately on him, like an instinct that tells him when the other is within reach. Randy smiles when one of the guys claps him on the shoulder and burns up when he announces him like a special guest. Their wives are all hardened up, unphased when their husbands try to embarrass them, but they know that Randy is skittish, easily flustered, and they have almost too much fun with that fact. He gets pushed towards Benson and he is kind enough to meet him in the middle—a hand around his waist, the other tilting his face to the side to kiss at his cheek and neck. Randy hits his side, embarrassed but the others are enjoying the teasing too much to let up anyways so Benson gives them a little show to cover the fact that he wants to mark Randy his. The other man bonds with the women and men and Benson's chest gives a funny little twist whenever he realises how much Randy has changed.

Maybe other times Benson will say "Nah, gotta get home to my sweetheart." when they invite him for drinks, and maybe he will never tell Randy that he loves him but it's right there, written all over his face and the walls, when he opens the door and Randy is already standing in the hallway with the biggest smile on his face.

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HI!!!! You are one of my absolute favorite authors in the passenger fandom. I absolutely love your benson and randy and the love they have for each other in your fic! The way you write them kind of reminds me a devoted follower worshiping their own god/deity, but i can never make up my mind who is the follower and who is worshipped. What do you think ?

(Sorry if I sound stupid lol)

TEEEEHEHEHEHEEE THANK YOU!!! I still get giddy whenever I realise that people are ACTUALLY reading what I write like woah...

But, anyways. Good question!

One of my favourite dynamics to explore between them is the switching of positions! In the movie, Benson is hard and leading until he isn't. He looks towards Randy, constantly seeking out assurance and kindness. Randy looks towards Benson for directions and meaning. He asks why, when, what. He hangs onto reasoning, for the first time, instead of assuming.

So that plays into my fic a lot.

Benson kind of sees Randy as this divine being. God or an angel, something that is not only able but also willing to save him. He kneels and begs if Randy forces him enough simply because he wants the kindness that only Randy has ever shown him. He gives him little gifts like offerings, tidies him up, wants to give him a home which is somewhat a representation of an altar or church. Randy, in his eyes, is only dirtied by the world in a way that is cleanable. He can cleanse him of whatever clings to him; his trauma, bullying, his family. But underneath it all he's still untouched while Benson thinks himself devoid of goodness. His trauma has turned him into nothing; not a gentler person, not more empathetic. He turned himself hard, let it fester until the shine of brightness was eaten up completely.

Randy on the other hand sees Benson as a force of nature, something unstoppable even though he's so aware of the impending death they will face. I turned Randy into a very obsessive person. Hyperfixations and (somewhat) a case of OCD. Benson has turned into his obsession, something that eats him up from the inside. He wants him close all the time, he can't stop thinking about him, can't stop from obsessing over all the possible ways he could die. Benson has become the focus of his world. He sees him less of a God and more as something that was very naturally in his orbit.

If I really think about it, including your ask, then I would say that Benson is the worshipper while Randy is this unreachable entity. He has lived his life without Randy and only now knows the life he could live if he was just a tiny bit (insane) devoted. He hates organised religion but Randy is right there, within reach, isn't it just human nature to yearn for something to believe in?

Randy has elevated him onto another pedestal, one that nobody could ever reach because Randy sees nothing but him, Benson is the entire world and it wouldn't make any sense without him there.

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y'all should send me some asks so i can write little drabbles.

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There's nothing more romantic than Benson's violent devotion to Randy.

Harsh words but he's there as soon as Randy's lip quivers. Hard grips but he's wrapping up his hands and brushing the hair from his face, holds his hand whenever Randy has the guts to ask for it.

Barking, and barking, but he can't wait to curl up with him at night. He holds him like a dragon would hold its treasure. But he's obsessed, he's so deeply obsessed with him that he starts to let the other hold him instead. Benson smushes his face against the other's chest, breathing him in. Pushes Randy onto his backs so he can wrap around his side, head on his chest and listening to the fluttering heart that he wants to rip out and devour so it may forever be his.

He buys Randy snacks, steals him little trinkets that he lets him stick to his side of the dashboard. He buys him CDs, watches documentaries even though they're fucking boring but the boys eyes shine in a way they only ever do when he's interested in something so he suffers through hours of TV.

And Randy is his, his, his in a way that nothing has ever been before. No strings, no payments. He is his so completely that Benson salivates over it. That he kisses all over his body, making him squirm and whine and giggle and there is no sound more beautiful than the ones slipping from Randy's lips.

He bruises him on purpose and on accident but Randy never complains, never pulls away from him even though he should. Benson beats himself up for it, hates himself for ruining him and enjoying the marks he could leave on him. Hated how much he loved seeing his claim over the boy. But Randy would kiss his hate away and tell him it didn't even hurt anymore. He would apologise, having learnt how to after months on the road, and Randy would let it go because what was a bruise to the life they were living anyways?

Benson is a dog, a beaten and bruised mutt at the pound, body rescued from the fighting pit but never from the mindset of it. He is horrible, and cruel, and bruising. He loves hugging Randy, kissing him, making him laugh. He is everything bad in the world but Randy opens his arms to him at night, bearing his heart, and Benson can't help but think that maybe he is capable of love after all.

Because when he looks at the boy in front of him, with his blonde curls, watery eyes and blinding smile, Benson wouldn't mind laying his life down for him. He wouldn't mind living for him, either. And maybe he was created for the simple act of worshipping.

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writing 200k words for a fandom with 20 people and never being mentioned in the very niche things is so devastating (it's because i barely ever interact with anyone)

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Writing this whenever aisybi feels too hard to continue writing so... it's slow but it's gonna happen. GIMME A DANG SECOND!!!!!!

I'm a florist so every few days I think like "hmm, what if ranson florists?" but then it's like... why the fuck would they even be there, like...

Randy, alright. Girlypop, doll face Randy Bradley could be there. Yeah, maybe his mother knew someone from church still needing an apprentice and she was like "what about my son, y'know, my son that I want to control and know every part of?" and the lady would be absolutely delighted, something along the lines of "sweet, church mouse Randy?! The boy that used to be too quiet and shy in choir? The boy with the big, wet eyes during prayers? That's just perfect,"

So Randy starts his apprenticeship and hates his fucking life because it's just customer service but worse because people will call you names, insult you, and you still have to make a bouquet for them like a fucking donkey. And he's wasting away, wasting away and wasting away, and he can feel himself wake up worse every day.

But that's where it always becomes, hard? Because where does Benson fit in? He wouldn't be a coworker. Because what the fuck is he gonna do in a flower shop? Much less one owned by a church lady. So maybe he's a customer, reoccurring in Randy's life of endless horrible people and labor that leaves his legs weak and neck stiff. But why would he even be there? Not for himself, that's for sure. Randy thinks it must be for his girlfriend, or worse, his wife. A fire of jealousy gnawing at Randy's bones, turning them to ash. But he keeps coming back, so often that it just can't be for just a singular person—was he a player? A cheater?

No, no way. So maybe Randy asks, all bitchy and smelling so fiercely of jealousy that Benson can't help but smile. Maybe he initially came in for his ma, and just maybe he keeps coming back for Randy.

And maybe Randy is so taken with him that he can't stop working, maybe he is so taken with him that he skips customers or rushes to the front on his break to serve Benson. Smiling so wide that his lips start wobbling after a few minutes, that his cheeks hurt for much longer after Benson's leaves.

He takes his time choosing flowers, making the bouquet while Benson watches his with crossed arms and a cocked head. He makes awkward small talk for a few days before he starts to relax around him. Agitated and short with the people in line but once it's just them Benson can see all the tension melt from him, softening him into something lovely and warm, a reaction that Benson had never seen anyone have toward him.

And maybe he is so stupid that he doesn't realise that Benson comes just for him, that he turns and leaves when he doesn't see Randy behind the till or scurrying around the store, that he comes back later to check again. Maybe he is so stupid that Benson has to loiter about while they bring everything inside for the night and lock up just so he can bump into Randy and

"Hey, ya wanna grab a drink?"

"Uhm, like, right now?"

"You a day drinker usually?"

And maybe Benson would scoff, making Randy red in the face. They could get a drink, find out that Randy is a fucking lightweight. Benson drives him home, leaves him something to be confused about, a pit in his stomach and a flutter in his heart. Promises to hang out again that Benson refuses to cash in for at least a week because, fuck, what was he even doing?

... Well, maybe I will write this, after all.

[mikatogo]

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Meeooww meow meow meow ( ^ω^ )

meow meow meeow maw maw

[mikatogo]

I'm a florist so every few days I think like "hmm, what if ranson florists?" but then it's like... why the fuck would they even be there, like...

Randy, alright. Girlypop, doll face Randy Bradley could be there. Yeah, maybe his mother knew someone from church still needing an apprentice and she was like "what about my son, y'know, my son that I want to control and know every part of?" and the lady would be absolutely delighted, something along the lines of "sweet, church mouse Randy?! The boy that used to be too quiet and shy in choir? The boy with the big, wet eyes during prayers? That's just perfect,"

So Randy starts his apprenticeship and hates his fucking life because it's just customer service but worse because people will call you names, insult you, and you still have to make a bouquet for them like a fucking donkey. And he's wasting away, wasting away and wasting away, and he can feel himself wake up worse every day.

But that's where it always becomes, hard? Because where does Benson fit in? He wouldn't be a coworker. Because what the fuck is he gonna do in a flower shop? Much less one owned by a church lady. So maybe he's a customer, reoccurring in Randy's life of endless horrible people and labor that leaves his legs weak and neck stiff. But why would he even be there? Not for himself, that's for sure. Randy thinks it must be for his girlfriend, or worse, his wife. A fire of jealousy gnawing at Randy's bones, turning them to ash. But he keeps coming back, so often that it just can't be for just a singular person—was he a player? A cheater?

No, no way. So maybe Randy asks, all bitchy and smelling so fiercely of jealousy that Benson can't help but smile. Maybe he initially came in for his ma, and just maybe he keeps coming back for Randy.

And maybe Randy is so taken with him that he can't stop working, maybe he is so taken with him that he skips customers or rushes to the front on his break to serve Benson. Smiling so wide that his lips start wobbling after a few minutes, that his cheeks hurt for much longer after Benson's leaves.

He takes his time choosing flowers, making the bouquet while Benson watches his with crossed arms and a cocked head. He makes awkward small talk for a few days before he starts to relax around him. Agitated and short with the people in line but once it's just them Benson can see all the tension melt from him, softening him into something lovely and warm, a reaction that Benson had never seen anyone have toward him.

And maybe he is so stupid that he doesn't realise that Benson comes just for him, that he turns and leaves when he doesn't see Randy behind the till or scurrying around the store, that he comes back later to check again. Maybe he is so stupid that Benson has to loiter about while they bring everything inside for the night and lock up just so he can bump into Randy and

"Hey, ya wanna grab a drink?"

"Uhm, like, right now?"

"You a day drinker usually?"

And maybe Benson would scoff, making Randy red in the face. They could get a drink, find out that Randy is a fucking lightweight. Benson drives him home, leaves him something to be confused about, a pit in his stomach and a flutter in his heart. Promises to hang out again that Benson refuses to cash in for at least a week because, fuck, what was he even doing?

... Well, maybe I will write this, after all.

[mikatogo]

important #question for everyone that is reading Am I Someone You Believe In...

Do y'all want the next chapter to be huge or a digestible, like,... 20k words...

For research purposes...

[mikatogo]

This literally came to me in a dream and I woke up, bathed in sweat, grabbing for my phone to post this at 4 in the morning.

Anyways, after further contemplation (remembering my dream) Randy is just so fucking smiley all the time, so happy and content because he is well looked after by Benson who treats him like a prized pet without even noticing himself doing it.

For the first time in his life his eyes are on the world in front of him while Benson's are only ever fixed on the boy that he forced to live this life with him.

Vampire Ranson AU where Benson just hates, and hates, and hates himself for turning Randy.

But Randy is just so, so grateful. Because thank God you came into this town, and thank God you chose me, and thank God I have to never do anything in this life by myself ever again. Thank God you saw me and decided that you wanted it to be me.

And Benson just looks at him, torn and bloody, and curses himself for putting that blood on him. But, fuck, he is selfish. He wants it to be Randy for the rest of that fucked up eternity which would surely be cut short by somebody much less cruel than him.

[mikatogo]

Vampire Ranson AU where Benson just hates, and hates, and hates himself for turning Randy.

But Randy is just so, so grateful. Because thank God you came into this town, and thank God you chose me, and thank God I have to never do anything in this life by myself ever again. Thank God you saw me and decided that you wanted it to be me.

And Benson just looks at him, torn and bloody, and curses himself for putting that blood on him. But, fuck, he is selfish. He wants it to be Randy for the rest of that fucked up eternity which would surely be cut short by somebody much less cruel than him.

[mikatogo]

a feel like the new generation of fanfic readers NEED to understand that clicking on a fic (interaction) does nothing. ao3 has no algorithm. your private discord discussions of fic do not reach the authors. if you do not actively engage with writers they will stop posting. this isn’t social media this is community.