mimideeznutsinyomouth

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

On Noncon/Dubcon as a Kink

A topic I get asked to discuss a lot.

♡ Foreword

As many of you are aware of, my name is Marie and I write fictional erotic thrillers, many of which contain either non-consensual or sadomasochistic sex—a trope often referred to as rape for titillation or more simply rape fantasies.

Firstly, before we get into the topic at hand, I wish to underline that rape fantasies can never be compared to actual rape—as rape is the action of conducting sex without consent, whereas one always has consent within one's own fantasy.

However, the question you may be asking or have at a point asked is why women have fantasies of sexual assault in the first place.

This is a question that I, by no means, can answer perfectly. Yet, in the spirit of philosophy and amateur psychology, I will lay out my personal theories as an author of such erotica. 

I’ve long wondered why we, women, fantasize about things that would appall us if manifested in reality. It makes little sense that an act so ruinous in practice is titillating when humored theoretically. In the vast complexities of psychology, no matter how much I drink of its depths, I can’t seem to get my fill enough to fully understand it. I’ve come to accept that attempting to figure out female arousal is like pulling hair from a clogged gutter and trying to undo all the knots—it’s a web of contradictions. 

Nevertheless, I shall try anyway.

♡ The First Theory — cultural and conventional reasons 

Through the age-old societal norms and customs we adopt while growing up, the world paints a picture of aggressive men dominating passive women from the very moment we develop the ability to comprehend. Even in kindergarten, it's considered cute when a boy pulls his crush's pigtails. 

Be it through bedtime stories of pretty princesses awaiting Prince Charming, historical tales of heroic men going off to war to fight for the wives they’ve left at home, or the simple but classic marriage constructed of a hard-working husband and stay-at-home housewife—we are, before we’re ever aware it, conditioned to believe that these stereotypical gender roles are correct representations of men and women—and furthermore, pushed to accept that this dynamic is what romance is supposed to look like—with men at the helm and women sitting pretty with nothing but a smile.

Thankfully, such fixed notions of gender and their place in society are increasingly frowned upon in modern parts of the world. Yet, for some odd reason, they remain no less fascinating to humor from time to time in the safe comfort of a good fantasy.

Why is that?

Think of it this way—if you’ve been served pasta all your life, it isn’t strange that you still get a craving for it every now and again, even after discovering you enjoy salad more. We find comfort and pleasure in what we know and have been taught to enjoy, even when those things don’t suit us—familiarity often trumps our true wishes. This is what conditioning is and does.

But there is more to it. The bra, makeup, and flattering clothes—we wear them not because they’re comfortable but because we feel uncomfortable without them. And we find the reason here: in our unyielding instinctive pursuit to attract men, we often sacrifice ourselves to see it fulfilled. It’s the same with wanting to be the damsel in distress awaiting the knight in shining armor—we aspire to take on that role because we know acting that way appeals to most men. 

♡ Second Theory — emotional and instinctual reasons

The Beauty and the Beast motif—featuring classic co-dependency. Women submit to abuse because we have an inbuilt need to nurture others, so when we encounter men who we deem damaged, we become obsessed with a desire to fix them or save them from themselves by showering them in affection, with often very little regard to the abuse dealt in return.

I dub it mother syndrome. Most women simply can’t stand the thought of abandoning someone they think needs them—the female constitution simply doesn’t allow it. We find purpose in taking care of others, it’s one of our core instincts that we often romanticize over all else—staying by someone’s side no matter what. It’s in most of the world’s wedding vows as the very epitome of romance—through thick and thin, til death do us part—even when the man you’re marrying might very well be the death of you, it's considered shameful to leave him—many might even call you weak if you do, when in reality, sticking up for yourself is the strongest and most logical thing you can do.

♡ Third Theory — physiological reasons

Note that it says physiological and not psychological. This one pertains less to the mind and heart and focuses purely on our instincts to survive.

Research has been conducted around women having another inbuilt self-defense mechanism—a seldom talked-about phenomenon—which shows that females tend to become physically aroused when they sense any possibility of sexual aggression in their environment in order to lower their chance of injury if they are raped. I suspect it’s somewhat similar to how some animals feign death or injury so as not to be treated like a threat.

Additionally, as humans, we’re able to conjure such situations with scary accuracy within our very own heads. Thus, when imagining being the victim of sexual aggression, it isn’t unnatural to feel aroused. It’s sometimes simply your body’s own response, protecting itself from potential harm.

I find this one to be as depressing as it is fascinating.

Moreover, the sensation of fear shares many of the same components as the feeling of arousal—adrenaline, dopamine, and cortisol. So it isn’t so strange that our mind mistakes the two no matter the case—survival instinct or not.

♡ Fourth Theory — psychological reasons

Here is where we get the brunt of the knots clogging the drain. 

In fantasies and writing or viewing, we get to reframe traumatic experiences in a positive light or rework traumatic experiences in a safe environment. Victims of sexual trauma will often be drawn to relive the abuse as a type of exposure therapy, wanting to take control over something that once took control of them to try and regain a feeling of safety they’ve lost.

Another reason to relive the abuse is as a form of punishment women give to themselves. Many females who’ve experienced sexual abuse feel as though they have been ruined and rendered worthless and no longer deserve anything but the abuse. Which is obviously not the case. But even though many realize this, it can be hard to silence that voice. This means that these women, when feeling a sliver of arousal, subconsciously turn it into a punishment—making the fantasy violent and often degrading because it’s the only way they feel they deserve the eventual gratification.

♡ Fifth Theory — pertains to the ego

This is another of the many psychological reasons we’ll divulge as we try to untangle the knots in the drain. 

The needy roughness showcased by the aggressor within a non-consensual sex fantasy indicates an intense desire for the victim, which itself is an aphrodisiac of sorts. Here, we find a hidden wish for power, where non-consensual sex bolsters a woman's feelings of seductiveness and desirability in the way it has the ability to make a man lose his decency and self-control, driving him to commit crimes of passion despite great personal cost.

Put simply, some women enjoy the idea of being irresistible enough to drive even a good man crazy. The thought of being attractive enough to make a man love-sick is, in this case, a power trip and a turn-on.

One might say that, in some cases, this arises from a feeling of undesirability and insecurity. Feeling so self-conscious that we tip the scale completely, turning ourselves into succubi, so that men simply can’t resist.

In other cases, it’s simply an ego boost. 

♡ Sixth Theory — a form of projecting

Yet another psychological reason.

Fantasies of rape reduces the distress associated with sex, as it allows women to renounce any guilt they might feel as they are not, in this scenario, responsible for what occurs. The logic here states that when we are forced into something, we’ll have a lesser need to feel shame about acting out our own desires.

Put simply, some women wish to maintain their innocence despite having carnal desires only satiated by means of sinful acts. 

This reason specifically begs another question. Is there a lingering feeling of guilt and shame around female sexuality? To which I say, of course! Women are constantly met with disdain when they're open about their sexual desires. So, we’re left feeling a need to victimize ourselves, where transferring our own sexual desires onto another gives us permission to act them out without feeling guilty or dirty, because, inside this fantasy, it isn’t us committing the indecencies.

♡ More on psychological reasons — of which there are infinite

Control—to feel wanted, lusted for, obsessed over, and coveted by others—the power of driving someone to lovesick desire, a frenzied state, where they would do anything, even illegal, only for the chance to have you. Additionally, despite such harsh cases of ego, wanting none of the responsibility for it, wanting to be free of sin, to maintain innocence and purity in light of such dark desires.

Or is there a seventh theory? One found in our idyllic construct of freedom—this aimless goal of ours to make ourselves appreciate breathing through balancing the electric powerline between having and losing control—moreover, a wish for control and a juxtaposing wish to relinquish it.

Humans desire control just as much as they disdain having control. This is why BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, and masochism) kinks and fetishes are found in some shape or form in nearly every romantic or sexual relationship in existence. You’ll have the dominant partner wishing to achieve control over a submissive partner wishing to relinquish control through such means of domination, humiliation, pain, and pleasure.

But it’s more complex than that, isn’t it? 

Yes, because, contradictory, a submissive partner may wish for control, and a dominant partner may wish to lose it. Human beings are an unyielding paradox, flexing across contrasting aims with no means to an end. And coming to this conclusion, I realized that such is the pursuit of many, even in endeavors not of the erotic kind.

Is it this act of switching places, the attraction and pull, the stimuli and response, the attack and retaliation—in this clusterfuck of contradictions and uncertainty—that we find a thrill that occupies our otherwise hibernating minds—bored to the degree that we become machines in our daily programs wanting nothing but to be jumpstarted into speeding on the highway?

Is it simply that we need a little extremity as a remedy for our dull lives? Do we fall in love with illegal things simply because we are denied them? Simply because they’re illegal? Self-harm, drug use, gambling, murder, rape…

Are these things a part of us? And are we, without them, left feeling unfulfilled? Is The Purge perhaps onto something vitally important? A cure for boredom to this mediocrity that leaves us all feeling so blue. The remnants of the wild before we became civilized—old instinct rendered as bygones left to simmer without any outlet.

Maybe a little…

But there’s probably a simpler reason.

♡ L’appel du Vide — the Call of the Void

Humans crave emotional fluctuation from time to time. Why? Because it’s stimulating, and stimulation feels good.

Your brain is a factory. Actions and experiences are what raw materials go into the factory, and emotions are what come out—rushed along on conveyor belts made of hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, and oxytocin—to name a few of the good ones.

When we experience the same things every day—living life on autopilot—those conveyor belts shut down, and the factory comes to a standstill, leaving us with a single taxing emotion: boredom. And this is why we seek out new experiences and exciting ordeals—to make sure those raw materials going into the factory are of top quality.

But instead of going out and acting like a hooligan in order to harvest these raw materials, we’ve created a plethora of artificial and less incriminating ways to achieve the same thrills. 

Take violent video games, for example. The blind bounds of excitement others ascend to in the midst of shooting their friends wouldn’t go over so well in reality, but it works wonders in a digital platform. The rush of falling in and out of enemy territory, of danger and safety, from being a predator to becoming the prey, of victory and defeat, of chasing death only to be comforted by one’s remaining life, because, in reality, you're safe and sound in front of a screen.

Also, in other cases—rollercoasters, horror movies, extreme sports, driving over the speed limit, etc...

Yes, the need for emotional fluctuation, this wish to trip in and out of control, isn’t limited to the realm of lust but is present in most aspects of life. We find it in everything—drugs, gambling, and gaming, even in relationships and work.

It’s in the concept of West World that we’re introduced to human beings at their most wanton and violent—minds stripped of conscience and restraint. It’s an interesting prospect, and though we’re not technologically advanced enough as a society to live in a world that offers amusement parks such as West World, we can achieve some of the same delights in the safe enclosure of a good fantasy. Here, we can explore all our darkest thoughts without the burden of shame and guilt and without reaping any of the consequences.

I’m almost making us sound like demons, but rest easy, it’s natural.

The human brain, quite like the stomach, hungers for stimulation. Moreover, it isn’t only through entertainment, but education as well—both things we use to feed our heads. Our mind is a natural problem-solver because it feels gratification from figuring things out, and so, it questions things and seeks out answers all on its own, without us even realizing it, including questions we don’t even want answered. For example, have you ever wondered what it would be like to murder someone—what it would take, what it would feel like, why it would matter, how you would do it? Of course, most people don’t actually want to kill other people; nevertheless, your brain craves to have those questions answered anyway.

The French dub this philosophical conundrum L’appel du Vide. Translated, it means The Call of the Void, which speaks to our tendencies to entertain destructive thoughts. The most common example used to demonstrate this state is the urge to jump off a cliff when standing close enough. Of course, there is no logical reason for you to jump, yet your mind craves to know the logistics anyway.

And that brings me to my point—things that excite the human mind are our one true love. Those things that cause traffic in our head, making it spin and crash and build itself up again—those are the things we lust for.

As such, daydreaming about taboo sexual experiences is mostly only a symptom of this traffic—L’appel du Vide—our need to feed our forever-hungry heads.

So don’t curse yourself for enjoying it.

♡ On another note — and such another warning and disclaimer

I want you not to accept any of my work as love stories.

Personally, I think hints of toxic displays such as jealousy, obsession, and possession in a partner are natural—but a difference is made when such feelings become restricting to a degree you no longer feel free or safe. I implore you to make such distinctions for yourself when regarding yourself, and, in extreme cases, when regarding others.

In that regard, I do not condone the events or actions of the characters in my stories—neither offender nor victim. No one should allow themselves to fall prey to toxic partners. The signs are always there—keep a weathered eye out for them.

And no, I’m not blaming those who’ve allowed themselves to stay in toxic relationships. I, myself, am guilty of that—but I won’t excuse my poor judgment any less than I would anyone else. You know when something doesn’t feel right. We shouldn’t blur the lines of right and wrong in the name of love—or whatever else we may lend our self-control to—be it religion, culture, family, or societal pressure.

You are in control. Don’t allow anything else to become the case.

♡ Lastly

This discussion piece is also the foreword to my book College Years, wherein you'll find many other similar discussions after each of the twenty erotic thrillers, for those of you who're interested.

Marie's Collection of Erotic Thrillers

♡ NIGHTMARE'S HELPDESK

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

Going hiatus!

So yeah, I'll be hiatus for some time because of 2 reasons.

I'm focusing on a project that I've made for myself

I feel pressured for wanting to spend so much time on writing and posting.

Lately, I've been feeling insecure for not posting a lot and often compare myself to other authors who are far more successful than me. Seeing how my fics are still being liked, I'm really grateful, but the stress of making more just to exceed to own expectations and others really just haunts me. In short, I'm burnt out.

Regarding the first one, I'm currently making my own fantasy novel. It's just for fun, but I really wanna write it because writing has always been my passion and my love for books has overcome me to do it. It's not yandere, more like fantasy adventure. I won't post it. I probably never will until like, years later. I'm gonna keep working on it since I've neglected it for a while.

I don't know when I'm gonna come back. Probably in a few weeks, in a few months. The most that I'll probably be doing is commenting and liking posts. I won't disappear, but I won't be posting for a while on both tumblr and Janitor AI.

In Janitor AI, I won't make any bots, HOWEVER, I will improve my bot's description and personalities to better suit them. I will also update my bio (probably, idk), but either than that, it's all good.

Hope you guys understand.

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

Just childe

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

[ YOUR SALVATION AND DISEASE ! ]

♥ EVERY OPTION ISN'T SAFE. ♥ But you like that, huh?

✦ LAND OF LOVE AND DANGER In such a beautiful place, every danger lurks in different ways, whether you see it as your truth or your lie. Perhaps... Both? Every passage gives you a path of affection and hostility. But remember... Don't get too addicted.

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RE8gTk9UIFBMQUdJQVJJU0UgQU5ZIE9GIE1ZIFdPUksh-

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✦ Forever with me... After a foolish mistake brings you to the forsaken past, you meet one of the most handsome and infamous dukes in history, accidentally catching his dangerous attention... Yandere! Duke x Gender-neutral! Modern! Reader

✦ Mr. Detective! Uh-oh! The detective that caught his eye on you seems to have very unlawful ideas on how to keep investigating you! Yandere! Detective x Gender-neutral! Reader

✦ My only purpose of spotlight! When you buy tickets for an idol concert that featured your best friend who moved years ago, you never could've guessed that it was all planned out by him. Yandere! Idol x Gender-neutral! Reader

✦ My one, true specimen forever! Seems like you pulled a "not like other girls" card (I promise that this is gender-neutral) and it worked! It caught the eye of a famous alchemist. And it wasn't a good one. Yandere! Alchemist x Gender-neutral! Reader

✦ Revenge, gone right! When all attempts of trying to beat your rival (and ex-crush) fails, you decided to pull the reverse card and beat his heart instead. Yandere! Rival x Gender-neutral! Reader

✦ Like a small cat... As an isekai'd person, of course, you'd want to get together with your favorite character. But, also, as an isekai'd person, you don't always get what you want. Yandere! Prince x Gender-neutral! Isekai'd! Reader

✦ Love me back 10x more... The crybaby of your school loves you too much. Oh well, you love him more, anyway. Yandere! Crybaby x Gender-neutral! Reader

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TW9yZSBDb21pbmcgU29vbiE= -----

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[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

me tweaking out trying to find that one good fanfic

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

NEED HELP WRITING? (a masterlist)

I have likely not added many that I've reblogged to this list. Please feel free to roam my blog and/or ask/message me to add something you'd like to see on this list!

Synonym Lists

Look by @writers-potion

Descriptors

Voices by @saraswritingtipps

Show, Don't Tell by @lyralit

Tips & Tricks

5 Tips for Creating Intimidating Antagonists by @writingwithfolklore

How To (Realistically) Make a Habit of Writing by @byoldervine

Let's Talk About Misdirection by @deception-united

Tips to Improve Character Voice by @tanaor

Stephen King's Top 20 Rules for Writers posted by @toocoolformedschool

Fun Things to Add to a Fight Scene (Hand to Hand Edition) by @illarian-rambling

Questions I Ask My Beta Readers by @burntoutdaydreamer

Skip Google for Research by @s-n-arly

Breaking Writing Rules Right: Don't Write Direct Dialogue by @septemberercfawkes

Databases/Resources

International Clothing

Advice/Uplifting

Too Ashamed of Writing To Write by @writingquestionsanswered

"Said" is Beautiful by @blue-eyed-author

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

Truly helpful, thank you sm

a list of 100+ buildings to put in your fantasy town

academy

adventurer's guild

alchemist

apiary

apothecary

aquarium

armory

art gallery

bakery

bank

barber

barracks

bathhouse

blacksmith

boathouse

book store

bookbinder

botanical garden

brothel

butcher

carpenter

cartographer

casino

castle

cobbler

coffee shop

council chamber

court house

crypt for the noble family

dentist

distillery

docks

dovecot

dyer

embassy

farmer's market

fighting pit

fishmonger

fortune teller

gallows

gatehouse

general store

graveyard

greenhouses

guard post

guildhall

gymnasium

haberdashery

haunted house

hedge maze

herbalist

hospice

hospital

house for sale

inn

jail

jeweller

kindergarten

leatherworker

library

locksmith

mail courier

manor house

market

mayor's house

monastery

morgue

museum

music shop

observatory

orchard

orphanage

outhouse

paper maker

pawnshop

pet shop

potion shop

potter

printmaker

quest board

residence

restricted zone

sawmill

school

scribe

sewer entrance

sheriff's office

shrine

silversmith

spa

speakeasy

spice merchant

sports stadium

stables

street market

tailor

tannery

tavern

tax collector

tea house

temple

textile shop

theatre

thieves guild

thrift store

tinker's workshop

town crier post

town square

townhall

toy store

trinket shop

warehouse

watchtower

water mill

weaver

well

windmill

wishing well

wizard tower

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

How to show emotions

Part IV

How to show bitterness

tightness around their eyes

pinched mouth

sour expression on their face

crossed arms

snorting angrily

turning their eyes upward

shaking their head

How to show hysteria

fast breathing

chest heaving

trembling of their hands

weak knees, giving in

tears flowing down their face uncontrollably

laughing while crying

not being able to stand still

How to show awe

tension leaving their body

shoulders dropping

standing still

opening mouth

slack jaw

not being able to speak correctly

slowed down breathing

wide eyes open

softening their gaze

staring unabashingly

How to show shame

vacant stare

looking down

turning their head away

cannot look at another person

putting their head into their hands

shaking their head

How to show being flustered

blushing

looking down

nervous smile

sharp intake of breath

quickening of breath

blinking rapidly

breaking eye contact

trying to busy their hands

playing with their hair

fidgeting with their fingers

opening mouth without speaking

More: How to write emotions Masterpost

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

How to show emotions

Part V

How to show grief

a vacant look

slack facial expressions

shaky hands

trembling lips

swallowing

struggling to breathe

tears rolling down their cheeks

How to show fondness

smiling with their mouth and their eyes

softening their features

cannot keep their eyes off of the object of their fondness

sometimes pouting the lips a bit

reaching out, wanting to touch them

How to show envy

narrowing their eyes

rolling their eyes

raising their eyebrows

grinding their teeth

tightening jaw

chin poking out

pouting their lips

forced smiling

crossing arms

shifting their gaze

clenching their fists

tensing their muscles

then becoming restless/fidgeting

swallowing hard

stiffening

holding their breath

blinking rapidly

exhaling sharply

How to show regret

scrubbing a hand over the face

sighing heavily

downturned mouth

slightly bending over

shoulders hanging low

hands falling to the sides

a pained expression

heavy eyes

staring down at their feet

More: How to write emotions Masterpost

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

Guys, please don't be so stupid and do this😭 Sure, do it on your own writing for fun (BUT DONT FUCKING POST IT), but do realize how dangerous this is

This is the worst timeline. (x)

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

Writing Tips Master Post

Edit: Some posts may be deleted

Character writing/development:

Character Arcs

Making Character Profiles

Character Development

Comic Relief Arc

Internal Conflict

Character Voices

Creating Distinct Characters

Creating Likeable Characters

Writing Strong Female Characters

Writing POC Characters

Building Tension

Writing Grumpy x Sunshine Tropes

Writing Sexuality & Gender

Writing Manipulative Characters

Writing Mature Young Characters

Plot devices/development:

Intrigue in Storytelling

Enemies to Lovers

Alternatives to Killing Characters

Worldbuilding

Misdirection

Things to Consider Before Killing Characters

Foreshadowing

Narrative (+ how to write):

Emphasising the Stakes

Avoid Info-Dumping

Writing Without Dialogue

1st vs. 2nd vs. 3rd Perspective

Fight Scenes (+ More)

Transitions

Pacing

Writing Prologues

Dialogue Tips

Writing War

Writing Cheating

Writing Miscommunication

Writing Unrequited Love

Writing a Slow Burn Btwn Introverts

Writing Smut

Writing Admiration Without Attraction

Writing Dual POVs

Worldbuilding:

Worldbuilding: Questions to Consider

Creating Laws/Rules in Fantasy Worlds

Book writing:

Connected vs. Stand-Alone Series

A & B Stories

Writer resources:

Writing YouTube Channels, Podcasts, & Blogs

Online Writing Resources

Outlining/Writing/Editing Software

Translation Software for Writing

Writer help:

Losing Passion/Burnout

Overcoming Writer's Block

Fantasy terms:

How To Name Fantasy Races (Step-by-Step)

Naming Elemental Races

Naming Fire-Related Races

How To Name Fantasy Places

Ask games:

Character Ask Game #1

Character Ask Game #2

Character Ask Game #3

Miscellaneous:

Writing Tips

Writing Fantasy

Miscommunication Prompts

Variety in Sentence Structure (avoiding repetition)

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

just a heads up for all writers out there!

I was recently told AO3 is currently being plagued by bots that comment on people’s works and falsely claim their fics were AI generated. and I can see how vile and discouraging hearing that is for authors who put so much time, effort and dedication into creating their fics.

now listen to me, if you ever get a comment like this on your work, please please please please know that they’re most definitely bot who comments the same thing on dozens of people’s works at random without ever reading the works. at all. they just copy and paste the same script onto random fics, any fic they come across.

they’re bots with malicious intentions, and they most certainly want you to lose motivation and/or delete your works. DON’T GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT.

if you ever get a comment like this, just delete the comment and/or report it to AO3.

remember that their comments don’t mean your works look “AI generated”. it only means these bots come across your fic and leave the same copy and pasted comment on it like they do to other writers.

don’t let them make you question yourself. they’re nothing but spam bots. YOU are a writer and you are fucking awesome.

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

[ LOVE ME BACK 10X MORE... ]

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∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

SYPNOSIS. Ivon has always been such a crier since birth. Even his parents thought so. So, even if he loves you so damn much, why does it seem like you love a weird guy like him even more? Gender-neutral! Reader! WARNINGS! Reader is much worse than him. Pathetic Yandere. Kidnapping and drugging. Stalking. Obsessive Behavior. Weird stuff by our yandere boi. Stockholm Syndrome. Mentions of Masturbation (From Ivon). Mentions of suicide. WC. 1.4k

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Ivon was a pathetic crybaby.

It got to the point even his own parents got sick of him.

So, it wasn't uncommon when people called him a crybaby. In fact, he was called it so much that he can't even recall the last time someone called him by his name properly. But it didn't matter. After all, at least he had some attention, even if it was negative as hell.

By now, you can probably conclude he was a huge loser who's mom and dad didn't love him enough.

Insult the mole under his mouth and he'll start sobbing.

Because when he was young, he quickly grew to realize how much crying bought everyone's attention. His parents were busy on work and chores? A cry will let them rush beside him. No one wants to be his friend? Just fake a sniffle and they'll comfort him.

But that quickly shot back at him.

Not only was it grabbing too much attention, he was just doing it too damn much, that it wasn't even impressive anymore. One can only wonder why he still does it.

In truth, it's just the only thing he's good at.

If he doesn't do it, no one will turn their heads for him anymore. So he'll do it. Good or bad.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Imagine his surprise when you told him to man up.

He was being bullied again, so, of course, he cried. He got your attention, which was surprising since you never paid attention to anyone before, much less, someone that can be considered a stranger like him.

You didn't tell him to continue crying, to assure him everything's gonna be alright. No, you didn't.

"Stop crying. A pretty face like that shouldn't be wasting tears for those nobodies."

He swore he felt something snap. Before he knew it, he cried even more. Not for attention, not for the insults.

They felt more like happy tears. It was a genuine compliment.

"Hey, what did I just say?" He snapped back to reality when he heard you mutter to him in almost a threatening way. You were glaring at him, and he had to gulp back his saliva down his throat, "S-Sorry…"

He watched you walk away, admiring your figure. You actually told him to be brave. Well, correction, to 'man up' and stop crying, but close enough.

Soon enough, Ivon started following you. Well, following you was a kind enough to sugarcoat stalking.

He worshiped every pen, pencil, and eraser that you gave him during class. He wasn't really lacking any materials, rather, it was a poor excuse to talk to you, but can you blame him? He hasn't had this much comfort in years! It was the first time where someone actually told him to not cry and man up.

At first, it started small, like following you around campus and keeping all of your stuff in his closet. But, not long after, it escalated into following you home and stealing everything that came from you (that includes every strand of hair that leaves your body).

He loves you too much.

Doesn't matter if you make him cry.

He'll cry for you.

He won't cry for you.

Just love him.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You've had your eye over Ivon since he first came to class. He was cute. Very, very cute.

You never really spoke to him since many people said he was just an annoying crybaby. Really? That was stupid, but you didn't want to look like a fool. But that didn't stop you from stalking his socials. You were always staring at him. Gradually, you memorized his schedule, his lunch, and printed out his photos to stick them into your wall to admire him.

You don't know why you liked him so much, but you didn't bother. He was quite pretty.

Until, one faithful encounter, you got to class pretty early and some weird jock was throwing crumbled paper at him, continuously saying things like crybaby or weirdo depressed kid. It was such a pitiful scene that you had to stop yourself from physically cringing.

So, you swooped by and became the hero, insulted the jock in his face to leave his ass alone. Once he did fuck off, you patted his back, "Hey. Look at me," you ordered and put your hands to his cheeks to forcefully let him face you (gently, of course).

When you finally saw his face properly, scrunched up in tears, you felt your heart skip a bit. He looked prettier. You wanted to lick the overflowing water escaping his eyelids. That's when you finally snapped out of it.

"Stop crying. A pretty face like that shouldn't be wasting tears for those nobodies."

You swore that in those eyes, you saw them lit up. His cheeks blushed a bit and in a blink of an eye, he cried even more. As much as your heart beat faster, you told him to stop even harsher anyway.

You felt quite bad. But, hey. Crying did make him a bit more uglier. The tears just made his beauty shine. A bit confusing but you'll get there.

However, you saw him almost everywhere after the encounter. And oh boy, you weren't complaining.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Oh, your room smelled heavenly. It was exactly like you. Cozy, warm, and beautiful. He didn’t mind taking your underwear or two. You wouldn't either, since you had many more.

This lasted for over a week.

He would be home early, just to sneak into your house, sniff and bathe your scent while hugging your blankets. He sometimes had to clean up the mess he made after doing his business, looking at your pics while sniffing the very blanket that you use to sleep at night.

He can't let his beloved hate him. Oh no. He'll kill himself if they did.

While prancing around your room, hugging the cute pillow that had your scent, he bumped into your bookshelf and dundundun-

A fucking diary. Your Diary.

He never really bothered looking into your bookshelf since he didn't want to ruin the touch you had and its pages. But the goddamn urge to just take that diary with him and open it, just to know every little secret you had.

Slowly but surely, he took the diary and opened it. It was normal for a few pages, until…

"That Crybaby was cute."

Ivon swore he felt his saliva stuck onto his throat. It's gotta be him! Is it..? The more he read, his breathing and heartbeat increased. You loved him! He was right all along! It was normal, until the pages were filled more and more of him.

"My Ivon looked good today as always."

"I hated seeing him cry. But his tears made him prettier."

"I swear to god if someone made him cry more,"

"I love him. I love him."

"Ivon, Ivon, Ivon, Ivon-"

"It seems like I came home early too," He froze and stopped reading, hearing the familiar voice. He turned around and he swore he saw an someone better than an angel. It was you.

"You thought I haven't seen you, my love?" Your chuckle made his fucking dick twitch. "Always behind me. Always breaking in, stealing my undies," you approached him and Ivon gulped,

"Come here," You opened your arms to take him in a hug. He felt like the heaven's gates were opening. Without hesitation, he rushed to your embrace. He started crying again, "I-I'm so sorry… P-Please don't hate me..!" He spoke through pathetic sobs

You quietly shushed him, "Oh, baby. I'm not mad… Far from that," He felt his shoulders relax. You laid him in his bed and once again, you put your hands to his cheeks to let him look at you. And before he knew it, his lips were on yours.

It was the best kiss he had on his entire life.

It lasted for a couple more minutes until you pulled away, making him whine. "I've always loved you," you smiled. "I-I love you too…" he muttered and sighed in content.

But after all of this, you weren't gonna let him get away.

"Sorry for this, dear…" In a blink of an eye, you put a drugged handkerchief on his mouth and nose. His eyes widened in shock, but the drug took effect and he began to lose his senses. "Sleep well, dear…" was the last thing he heard from you.

You looked down at his unconscious body. It was unethical, yes. But now…

You're not letting him out of your sight.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

WINNING THE LOTERY BABY

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

reblog if you’re okay with people writing fanfics of your fanfics and/or fanfics inspired by your fanfics

[mimideeznutsinyomouth]

As an AI user who uses it for mere entertainment, it baffles me that people use AI, say that it's their own work, and expect people to take it seriously and praise them😭

Like, please, I know it's easier, but is it more creative? No, so don't expect people will actually praise you.