miracle-and-wonder

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Im not ready for mr mountain man to be reappearing on my instagram notifications and my life again guys

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I have not yet finished The Pitt but I do have one solitary complaint: I wish they had obliquely referenced The Caring Place in 2PM. I understand they probably can’t because it’s associated with Highmark, our third major healthcare provider/insurer out here, but it is a uniquely Pittsburgh approach to helping children who survive the death of a loved one. It was first organized in a church basement by pediatric nurses on a cancer ward, who noticed how the siblings of dying children sometimes went unnoticed within the family unit while their sibling was dying. They created this gorgeous organization where families of all types, mourning all kinds of losses, can come together for 8-10 weeks, get a free meal, and build community with others who are processing a loss. It’s totally kid-focused and exists to normalize grief and loss and promote peer support among children who mourn in a safe and comfortable space.

It is a phenomenal program and I really hope it gets some kind of mention - even just a reference to a family grief support group downtown would be lovely! I’m just enamored with the program, having volunteered for a few sessions (it’s almost entirely volunteer run!!!) and I’d love for more people to be aware of it!

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nope still not over it wdym langdon takes care of mel?? the man oblivious to his wife's needs. doesn't really think about her day to day life. gets a dog without consulting the woman running their household and raising their kids. brings up his own stressful career when somebody mentions his wife's struggles. tries to put a grilled salmon dinner shaped bandaid on his shortcomings. a birkin (?!) shaped bandage on his flaws as a husband. isn't even willing to take care of a new puppy he got his kids since they said they'll do it. and we're supposed to believe HE'S the adult taking care of mel king ??

like he picks her out from the herd of newbies (she's the oldest so the attendings assume she's fine on her own) but he takes her under his wing and takes care of her. langdon looks out for her. he works cases that dont require two residents so he can keep an eye on her. he constantly praises her. asks her if she's okay. tells her to take her time. says she's his least problematic trainee knowing she needs to hear it. reaffirms her faith in herself by tying her insecurities to his own (been there, we all been there. you and me both). hears her out and immediately soothes her aching heart. validates her emotions. explicitly shows off her skills and praises her in front of patients after she was on the floor doubting her place here. says she's the person he'd call in that situation. makes her feel needed.

langdon catches her in moments of crisis and rushes to her side. he guides her. teaches her. lets her latch onto him. calls her his favourite with so many words because he knows she's excited to be his favourite. his girl.

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“The Pitt”: Jack Abbot’s appreciation post 🔥 original posts: x, x, x, x, x, x, x + other characters: part 1, 2, 3, 5

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i'm just now finishing the TD interview and nothing could have prepared me for how tenderly she talks about mel's loneliness and how she wants someone to take care of her and how langdon is "interested" in learning to get to know her i'm having chest pains

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10, 29, or 31

10. things you said that made me feel like shit / 31. things you said right before goodbye

Mel doesn’t mean to— she doesn’t want to— she’s not this type of person, usually— But right now…

She’s just so horribly envious.

She has learned, in twenty eight years, that most of her desires are out of her reach. Usurious things that need to be tamped down, deep, before they impede her ability to function. If she had to bear the weight of everything she wants and can not, can not, have— It would be crushing. She would fold underneath it all.

Frank Langdon fits right into that box. He’s the latest in a line of things that are decidedly not Mel’s. She can work with him, and stare, and pine, but there’s— distance.

They’re friends, she would say. Good friends, even. Close enough that they’re out for lunch on a day off. You’ll like this place, he’d said, when he brought it up at work. He likes forcing her to do things she wouldn’t normally, like karaoke with their coworkers, or impromptu mini golfing on a weekend, or taking her to hole in the wall restaurants because They have the best street tacos, Mel.

Frank moves like a whirlwind, picking her up and leaving her unsteady and untethered, floating in the air until he decides to bring her back down. It’s unfair, sometimes. He slots so nicely into her empty spaces, all warmth and understanding, the type of connection she’s always yearned for and never quite been able to grasp. She still can’t grasp him.

Frank slips right out of her hands at all the wrong times.

He’s here with her, eating too many of her tortilla chips, probably because she always lets him, leaning into her personal space like he wants— wants it too, like they’re on the same page— and then he’s, all of a sudden, very far away from Mel.

His phone rings and Frank’s attention snaps like a rubber band, harsh against her wrist, a welt in its wake. He answers immediately, and Mel doesn’t have to wonder who it is. She can tell from the soft tone in his voice.

“Hi, baby, what’s up?”

Mel bites hard on the inside of her cheek, expression neutral. Or maybe he’ll mistake her grimace for concern.

“Oh fuck, are you okay? Are the kids— Okay, okay, calm down, Abs, tell me where you are…Alright, I’ll be there, okay, love you too. I’ll be right there, baby.”

Mel sucks in a breath when he hangs up the phone. “Is…is everything okay?”

He flicks his eyes towards her, a little vacant, like he’d forgotten she was there. He shakes his head, “Abby was gonna take the kids to the mall, but they got a flat tire on the freeway. I’ve gotta go change it for her.”

“Oh,” Mel says, carefully. “Of course. I’m glad she’s alright.”

“Yeah, she’s close by at least. Last year she was taking a trip to see her sister in New York. On the way back her engine stalled right outside of Shippensburg and I had to drive, like, three hours in the middle of the night to pick her up,” he says this half laughing, fond in retrospect.

Mel’s going to be sick with jealousy. The last time she had car major problems, she was moving across the country with Becca. Her father had just died, and Mel had to take care of the dregs of his estate. It was going to take a full two days to drive all the way from Lansing back to Seattle, where she was going to school. They broke down somewhere halfway through. Becca had a melt down, crying and screaming at Mel while she desperately tried to figure out what was wrong with the car, smoke coiling out of the hood. Mel had nearly broke down herself, hot tears slipping down her cheeks, with no one to call.

The thought of Frank, willing and capable, a phone call away—

Not for the first time, Mel thinks of Abby Langdon, and resentment brews in her stomach, all the way up her chest until she’s sure it must be all over her face.

Frank pulls away from their table, patting down his pockets for his wallet and keys, absently tossing a twenty down for their meal. Mel wants, avariciously, to tell him not to leave. It’s ridiculous.

“Hey,” he says, catching her eye, like he sees all the way through her, “You good?”

That’s the worst part, the one that really leaves her self piteous, riddled with greed. Frank is a perfect friend, really, but— for all that she wants him— is not hers.

“Yes,” Mel murmurs, “Just… worried for Abby. Let me know how it goes.”

He smiles at her, “I’ll tell her you were worried. Sorry we had to cut this short, by the way. Rain check?”

“For sure.”

“You’re the best, Mel. I’ll see you.”

She waits until he turns out of the building to press her head pathetically against the sticky table.

Wanting is a horrible thing. Mel would cut it out of herself, surgically, if it meant she didn’t have to feel like shit every time Frank says goodbye.

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thinking about taylor saying that mel is the one her coworkers are ignoring the most, one of the writers saying mel might have something personal or social to learn in s2, mel jumping in front of her coworkers and cutting them off during that first hour of the shift, mel lowkey ratting out santos for the reboa, how mel stands apart from the other newbies, and that the only person she seems to connect with during the entire shift is with langdon

and it seems to me like they might be setting up mel not really getting along or connecting with her coworkers in s2 (or at least not be friends with anyone)

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prev post it’s not that mel can’t take care of herself (she’s a doctor and has been the primary caregiver for her sister her entire adult life, obviously she can take care of herself) but it’s so hot that she doesn’t want to. she wants to be able to rely on someone else. and langdon wants to be relied on.

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Taylor Dearden stuns in Collider Ladies Night (x)

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watching the full TD interview and she's so goddamn pretty i am absolutely BANGING on the walls of the hair and makeup department to let her take her hair down next season

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“Mel can’t not feel abandoned. And so I think having the one person— the one person, who feels like an adult who can take care of her, being gone…and coming back felt gr— and also, he didn’t ignore her, he came right over.”

(x)

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This is the vibe the night shift crew has on the Pitt TO ME

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Langdon with Santos vs Langdon with Mel

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"sorry that probably doesn't make much sense" <- for perfectly intelligible & logical statements relevant to the present conversation

"you get what I mean." <- for unparsable non sequiturs

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More Kingdon brainrot ( I cannot stop )

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Tag Game:

Tagged by the always lovely and talented @ohwhatagloomyshow

You just got a kind of shitty old car and it doesn’t have Bluetooth. You can only buy 7 CDs and you can’t repeat an artist. What are you getting?

My obsessive need to have a perfect playlist for every moment is really biting me in the ass because I'm SO BAD with albums these days but for 7 to keep in my shitty car:

1.) Graceland - Paul Simon 2.) Aim and Ignite - fun. 3.) Rumours - Fleetwood Mac 4.) folklore - Taylor Swift 5.) Electra Heart - MARINA 6.) The Black Parade - My Chemical Romance 7.) Good News - Megan Thee Stallion

Tagging: @mateo-diaz; @champains; @musing-and-music; @cvldbones; @klainelynch; @divorcedfranklangdon; @delinquentkru and anyone else who wants to! Recommend me albums please!

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the thing about langdon is that i understand him. and that's what makes the portrayal of his addiction so raw and scary and new. this is a guy who needs to run a mile per minute: for his job, for his family, for himself. so, when an injury stops that from happening, maybe leaving him with chronic pain that requires indefinite management, it's understandable that he would try anything to make it stop.

and maybe the running and ice baths and adrenaline-seeking were already ways for him to cope with the pressures put upon him; the expectations to be a good student, doctor, husband, and father during an unprecedented pandemic were probably crushing him.

and when you take away the ability to have healthy coping mechanisms, the unhealthy ones creep their way in.

the thing that's scary about langdon is that i can see how i could've been like him. as a former competitive dancer who got overlapping severe injuries that caused me to quit something that i thought would be my career, i'm still dealing with the ramifications. i am living with chronic pain, it interferes with my acting, with my life. there was a time where i would've done anything to have it stop. and thankfully it didn't get to the point of substance use, but there was a very real risk. and there still is.

it's so refreshing to see an addict portrayed in a way that doesn't condone his actions, but treats him with empathy. it's a disease, there are so many things that may cause someone to go down that path. and it's obvious in the way patrick speaks about it that it's important to him to approach everything with empathy first and foremost.

basically i just have so much love for langdon as a character, and for patrick in his portrayal of him. and i cannot wait to see him in early recovery in s2, and to see him navigate everything that comes with it!