misophonicandsadcunt

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Misophonia is not any less genuine than other existing mental conditions, just because it’s more obscure, new or less-well-known than the ones you know of.

To demonstrate the concept of “triggering” someone, and *not* to compare the two, the same people in my life who are anal about mental health awareness Minion memes on Facebook, and thus wouldn’t dare trigger someone’s PTSD knowingly, think misophonia is some finnicky pet peeve that’s hilarious to “annoy” me with.

And it may not seem like abusive to you, but I don’t have to repeat that misophonia is a genuine thing - whose existence is documented and backed by medical journals. Perhaps not popular ones, but they still exist, and misophonia is not any less legit for it. 

Not all people with misophonia’s reactions are severe. But some people’s really are. It may even send them over the edge, use your imagination for that one. I too would probably be laughing if I didn’t relate all too well. So please, this this message isn’t here to be passive-agressive or attention-seeking. Genuinely, please don’t be that person for someone. And that definitely doesn’t mean you won’t have a helping hand in making things worse for someone who doesn’t happen to have a severe misophonic reaction. No-one with misophonia deserves it, they’re just trying to live their life with the straightest face they can.

If you knowingly trigger someone’s sensory processing sensitivities / misophonia / etc. that’s fucking violent and hurts more than if you slapped me in the face. doing this is a common form of bullying abuse toward neurodivergent people and is enacted by peers, family, “professionals”, strangers, and more.

people without SPD/autism/miso/etc. please not only share this but take an ACTIVE role in eliminating it when you see one of us being tormented this way.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

For UK high school/sixth-formers really struggling with misophonia who want help:

If misophonia is a major problem for you in class/exams, there is hope. Long post!

Personal story, you can skip:

My first-year college exam went terribly because of misophonia and the coughs and throat-clearing in the exam hall, so I went to my personal/form tutor about it.

I told him what I experience in this exam and that I do so in class too, but that in class it’s less impactful as an exam situation because I’ll be done in an hour and I can go to the toilet. I told him I’d be more comfortable speaking about what exactly the problem is with someone else.

He referred me to a member of staff in college who specialises in SEN and exam provisions which I never knew existed, and so there very likely is one in your school too.

This lady was exceptionally understanding. Not mushy-wushy or anything like that, she’s pretty straight-to-the-point and seems strict at first. But she not once batted an eyelid to what I told her I experienced, in fact she even said there was one student who had the exact same thing! In a college of about 1000 students, not the biggest sample, I’d never have expected there to be someone else in my area who’s had this kind of thing AND told staff about it. That may not be your case, but they’d still listen about it better than other staff.

She immediately got to arranging 1. letting me wear earphones in class, 2. moving into a smaller room for exams, and 3. letting me wear ear defenders in them.

I NEVER EVEN KNEW YOU COULD DO SUCH A THING.

And I have no SEN-associated needs or anything else mentally. She then told me to see a GP about it and ask about what potential treatment/therapy they have.

DO GPS EVEN DO MENTAL HEALTH STUFF? W HAT?

So here’s the takeaway from all of this:

If you want to try and make things better for yourself, so they don’t get worse,

Tell either your PT/form tutor about your experiences in class/exams and that you don’t want it to get worse, and to see if there are any exam or class arrangements that can be made. They exist and can be done, so if you have to, say you heard they can be done. Because they absolutely can. And it will be confidential* from teachers and parents, especially if they’ve said they’re such a point of contact before.

Ik it sounds like I’m imposing this wording on you but if this exactly is what you experience as I do, I wanna make it clear that this is the clearest, most succinct phrasing to use, or deffo was in my case. Say that before it was just at home, but now it’s intefering with your concentration and performance in classwork/exams, and since you’re a human being with aspirations and goals who knows you could achieve what you think you have the potential for, you’d like to finally see what help you can seek. Don’t ask for therapy or treatment, because misophonia doesn’t have any for it, even specifically. But there are ways to alleviate it, and that’s what you need. Who knows, maybe this post gets old and there will be. But you should come across as open to possibilities, if not just to maximise your chances of non-bitchyness from people about it (which is a huge concern for many of us)

Your school will have a SEN or exam arrangements staff member(s) for exactly this kind of thing. This is where I was referred by my PT to talk to see what can be done. Never knew that was even a thing, but schools do have to have these, even if they’re externally-sought staff members. Don’t let them pretend they don’t. Also, my PT was nice, but to be cautious (the nicest people you know can be complete dicks about misophonia, not taking my chances) I asked to talk about it to someone else who can help me with it more directly. He wasn’t offended - if he was, sucks to be him, but I’ve had enough and need to do this right, that’s the mindset I had.

Do NOT mention misophonia by name, just describe what you go through. You’re out to get help for this problem which 1. it’s very likely they’ll have no idea what it is anyway, and 2. you don’t want to seem like you’re un-necessarily self-diagnosing. 

Misophonia is one of those things that, with basic research, you’d pretty much know straight away if you “have” it or not. But not everyone does that basic research, and the many cringy + frustratingly inaccurate articles/Google Images photos of what it is is a TESTAMENT to self-diagnosis being a problem, especially with misophonia. You may be rational and well-read on the topic, but not everyone so much as wants to be, and that’s the hot tea. In an environment full of teens, I’m not ashamed to say that I’d see where they come from. 

From my own observations (and maybe yours too), many problems start when people mention they “have misophonia”. Now, you’ll get an honest, unbiased chance in this next point to see if you do indeed “have” it, which probably is a relieving reassurance for you as it is for me. So as sad as it is to have to hide (I wish I didn’t have to, my GOD it’d make life easier), it’s a win.

GP’s are for mental health too. Genuinely. And it’s all confidential* and hidden from parents provided you’re 16+ and no self-harm/immediate danger to others** is involved. 

*If you’re 16+, change your contact details at the clinic so the phone number is on YOUR mobile, not your parents, so texts of appointments come and you don’t want them to see. Ask to see the details on you if you need to. Yeah, they do those now. Learn from my mistake. Your parents won’t be told about you booking the appointment, attending it, or anything discussed provided it doesn’t break the * clause. Where it’s not so private: you will get sent letters in the post about the status of your appointment (if you didn’t opt for the text ones) and also about the status of your referral, as I did. Telling your family is highly recommended - my parents know and mum didn’t want me to go because of fear of lashback from GPs/having something on my medical records. I’m at wit’s end so fuck the records, at least it’ll be official so have to be taken seriously by school, compared to talk. And also, they can’t legally stop you. Their disappointment or humiliaton (which there wasn’t any, in fact they seemed positive that I’m finally getting help so I’ll be less of a “burden”) was tolerable (with headphones on) + worth me risking for my mental peace, that’s how desperate I was. What I’d say to past me is: take the plunge before it gets worse. 

**I talked about copying others + having the tendency to want to be violent when I get #triggered, and to my relief, it was completely fine - my GP took it objectively as an analysis of what I experience, as they should. People probably come up with more severe things or confessions than you may say and they STILL take it professionally, so please don’t worry or be as embarassed as much as I was.

Ask about what therapy/coping mechanisms/possible treatment there is, because again, it’s affecting your schoolwork and you don’t want it to get worse. They will refer you to a child/adult (18+) mental health service for an appointment. Waiting times are most likely very long. I went in May. It’s the end of July now and I’ve only had a letter half-way to say that I’m placed on a waiting list for large demand + given numbers to crisis hotlines if things cannot wait. But at least I can say I’m making an effort, and that eventually I’ll get the help I need.

That is all. If you’ve really, really had enough of misophonia at school and especially in exams, please don’t feel there’s nothing you can do about it. It took me breaking down in my exam and hiding my tears and snot from others and the invigilators to immediately trot to my PT/form tutor about what I could do. Don’t be me. There is something you can do. Confidentiality really is a thing if you request it. Whatever way you do it, please be assured that school doesn’t have to be the hell it’s being. But you just have to try.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Enjoy this picture of my sleeping cat

She is a funny, bubbly, yet silent and very patient cat, and helps to calm me down when I get trigg'd at home. Sharing the love because I adore her to bits for the joy she brings me in my darkest times, and I'm sure you cat-loving misophonia peeps out there will too!

[misophonicandsadcunt]

You know it's bad when

you'll gladly sacrifice your sense of hearing, the most wonderful experiences in life, the goosebumps you get when listening to your favourite music, the melodic calm ruckus of the forest, the gentle patter of rain, the assuring voice of your parents when you were young, singing that makes you cry with joy, all because you want to die 'cause of sounds so common most will never notice.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

[misophonicandsadcunt]

You ever feel so stressed by your triggers your heart hurts???

[misophonicandsadcunt]

You are a gift to this world.

So are you. <3

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Holy moly this relatable ravioli 👌👌👏👏👏

#misophonicthings

Breaking down into near tears and fits of anger just because someone yawned a little too loudly 💗💗💗💗💗

Being unable to tell your friends who you know will be chill about your sensitivity because people have told you you’re “overreacting” and “being rude” 💞💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

Barely being able to be in the same room as some one eating 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

Hoping that one day you’ll be deaf because you can’t handle it!!!! And nobody wants to listen to you!!!!!! ✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖✨💖

[misophonicandsadcunt]

I'm so scared of admitting to anyone about misophonia, other than maybe my closest friends, for this exact reason. I hope things end up better for you soon :'(

From personal experience, I realised these kinds of people in my life seem to like/share all those (typically Minion-themed, urgh) posts about "mental illness awareness" on social media, and treat those with conditions like precious fallen angels or something... yet when they actually meet a person with a mental health issue they're suddenly all "ew go away, big scary ''''crazy'''' monster"

It's especially annoying when they genuinely seem supportive of people with mental illness, yet they don't treat misophonia seriously at all (or make any attempt to be open minded about it, if they never heard of it) - if anything, they treat it like a big joke or like it's just some "rude and delusional control freak".

Misophonia Discrimination

I had to disclose that I have misophonia to someone in authority and that led to me experiencing extreme discrimination by that person to the point that my life has been totally altered. This person told me, to my face, that they thought I was a violent person because of my misophonia, despite evidence otherwise. Sadly, this person skewed things against me so I have no ground to stand on, regardless if I want to fight back or not.

Now I’m scared to disclose any other mental illnesses I have in fear that such discrimination will increase. I am afraid to disclose anything in the future to anyone. I am afraid of the judgement, the fear, and, in some cases, contempt people have on their faces when they look at me. I’m afraid of the further shame and self-hatred I experience when I know they know I’m dealing with a misophonic episode. I wish society would stop treating those will mental disabilities as people to fear and shame, and punishing them for conditions they never asked for. I wouldn’t wish a mental illness on anyone.

And people wonder why I generally don’t disclose my misophonia….

[misophonicandsadcunt]

I can definitely relate here, my little brother has autism but he sometimes makes breathy or sharp vocalisations like kinda lil moans or sighs, it makes me jump everytime it happens no matter where I am in the house and m i s o p h o n i a e n s u e s

But I know I can't do anything about it, I feel like a huge asshole and I can't help but cry about it sometimes. I try to control the misophonic reactions, like whenever I feel an echolalia or the urge to shout something rude coming on (horrible, I know) I instead go and hug or stroke him, he says my hugs make him smile and it helps me calm down too.

a follow up to those misophonia posts I rbed:

having misophonia even around other neurodivergent people sucks bc you want to support them and their struggles but at the same time the stuff they do sets you off to no end (like some friends of mine have add/adhd and their fidgeting/moving makes me want to curl up into a ball and cryyyyyy)

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Disaster averted in college today

*super dramatic, but I need to write the experience*

i mean this my vent blog so

I'm in a small computer room in my study doing work, and it's fairly full of others doing silent study too (and no-one is making trigger sounds too! What a rarity, I love these strangers 😙).

I needed to charge my phone, and the room has some microUSB cables lying around at computers, so I stood up to look for one.

And them some people came in.

A group of very friendly but loud girls with Starbucks 😅

Of which when I walked towards a cupboard near them, I hear a very

loud

SINGULAR

LIP SMACK.

How on e a r t h can you make such a LOUD ASS S.M.A.C.K. like a CLICK or a CHOP when eating something as soft as a donut is beyond me

But anyway

My insides were churning - I hadn't eaten breakfast today, and hearing that gross ass sound makes me wanna vomit my own stomach acids out

I felt my ears heating up, needing to purge themselves of the sinful gross sound by flicking them (a dumb tic, I know, sounds ridiculous when I type it 😂)

Fight or flight mode switched on in an instant, I felt l wanted to cry and die on the spot, but my anger wanted to make me hurt something, and it rose while I started to think

"FUCK no. The ONE Q U I E T space in college and some dUMB FUcKs had to come in a QUIET. STUDY. ROOM. and begin tALKInG and CheWINg and bEING F*cking ... "

(uncontrollable internal insulting and swearing of a disrespectful nature ensues)

BUT GUESS WHAT.

They looked around, trying to find seats.

And there were NONE in a row for 3!!!

AND THEY LEFT!!!!

OH MY GOD I WANNA CRY WITH HAPPINESS AND RELIEF

WHY A M I SO HAPP Y AT O T HER PEOP LES MISFOR TUNES

I FEEL BAD

I WOULD'VE PROBABLY JUST PRETEND I FINISHED MY WORK AND LEFT AS QUIETLY AS I CAN, IM TOO SCARED TO TELL THEM TO BE QUIET OR TO ACT OUT

bUT I CAN DO MY ASSIGNMENTS IN PEACE

HOLY SHIT

THE UNIVERSE WAS KIND TO ME

LIKE

I CAN ACTUALLY DO SCHOOLWORK AT SCHOOL, CAN YOU BELIEVE??????

So anyways that's the story of literally what took 15 seconds irl

[misophonicandsadcunt]

fucks sAAAAAAAAKE

Don't you just love it when the LITERAL FUCKING SECOND you pause your video/music/whatever you use to cope and THE NOISE HAPPENS and it's like YOU CAN'T. FUCKING. ESCAPE. IT. it's like they KNOW when you're vulnerable and YOU HATE THEM.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Ok im coping with covering my ears now. im in bed and mum did The Sound (c) and I wanna dieee3eee3ee but when I cover my ears im in my own little noise-free universe.

My for once fairly relaxed, not-triggered evening... all down the fUCKing shitter

Why is every throat-clearing sound so fucking sick and gross and VIOLATING

I F YOU’RE GON NA DO IT JUST FUCK OFF AND CHO KE ON YOUR OWN DUMBASS PIECE OF DUMB. DICK. SHIT.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Why is every throat-clearing sound so fucking sick and gross and VIOLATING

I F YOU'RE GON NA DO IT JUST FUCK OFF AND CHO KE ON YOUR OWN DUMBASS PIECE OF DUMB. DICK. SHIT.

[misophonicandsadcunt]

Not gonna lie, I filled the whole board. Except I never feel like I deserve a medal after tolerating sounds. Because I don't tolerate them, I desperately try not to copy them, cry or tear the meat off my limbs within every passing second, and I feel exhausted at the end until my breathing regulates. Which takes fucking hours.

:-)

[misophonicandsadcunt]

it's one at night and i'm meant to be learning my maths shit but you know what. i'm stressing over getting triggered in the test for it next week and in college tomorrow - something i hoped my misophonia would never intefere in. that's the final straw for me, i need to do something about it, now that i feel it starting to get in the way of the place i thought was safe from wearing my earphones 24/7 in, so fuck me hard in the eardrum with an iron maiden 👌

buuuut i found this misophonia tag a little while back and you people are all i ever needed. so thank you for existing, sharing your experiences and honest advice with this progressively-more-sad thing (who procrastinated from 9pm till now). so you know what. i'll do the same

just letting ya know, your struggles are not in vain