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moistmailman · 5 hours
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Dragon quest 8 AU
*after hours of the party walking to the next city*
Yang, groaning loudly: My god, my feet are killing me!
Mama Arc, in the carriage: (looks like a goblin) Stop complaining and just march on already.
Yang: That's rich coming from you! You're not even walking!
Mama Arc, offended: Cause I'm royalty! I shouldn't have to walk!
Yang, groaning: Oh my goddess! Can i at least ride with you then?
Mama Arc: Not enough room.
Yang, sighing: Why do i have a feeling that you're lying? *looks at the golden mane horse that's pulling the carriage* Can i ride on the horse then?
Mama Arc, venomously: You can not ride my son!
Yang:...….*snorts* You might wanna phrase that better.
Weiss, walking up to Yang: Can you just give it a rest already? You don't see Pyrrha or Junior complaining.
*Yang looks at the two, the older man being on the left side of the carriage, while the redhead being the one guiding the horse, occasionally petting its mane*
Yang: Was that horse really once a boy? Like, literally?
Weiss: That's what I've been told. Apparently his name was Jaune and he was the heir to the throne, before...you know. Everyone else at the castle was turn into statues, except for those 3 that is.
Yang, whistling: That's a crazy story. *looks over at Pyrrha and Jaune*
Pyrrha: *smiling while she pets Jaune's mane*
Yang: So those two seem pretty close. What's their story anway?
Weiss: They were dating before the incident.
Yang: Wait what?
Weiss: Pyrrha was one of her guards, and they obviously must've hit it off pretty well during their time together. So yeah, its no surprise that those two would be pretty close.
Yang:..........*smirks*
Weiss: I don't like that look on your fa-
Yang, loudly: Oh i see, so Pyrrha could ride Jaune but i can't now?
Pyrrha: *chokes on her spit*
Jaune: *neighs in embarrassment somehow*
Junior: *snorts extremely loudly*
Mama Arc, angrily: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY! HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT MY SON IN THE MANNER! HE IS A PRINCE! YOU SHOULD BE BOWING TO YOUR FEET EVERYTIME HE WALKS NEAR YOU!
Yang, smirking wider: Hey hey hey, I'm just pointing out your hypocrisy is all. You agree with me, right Pyrrha? It's not fair that only you were the one that got to ride Princey boy.
Pyrrha: *too embarrassed to even speak*
Mama Arc: ENOUGH OF THIS CONVERSATION! YOU WILL KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT FOR THE REST OF THE JOURNEY! DO YOU UNDERTSAND ME! I WILL NOT SIT HEAR AND HAVE YOU TALK ABOUT MY SON THAT WAY! HE IS ROYALATY AND SHE BE TREATED THAT WAY!
Yang: Oh yeah, I bet Pyrrha must've treated him like royalty before the incident. Amiright, Pyrrha?
Pyrrha: *face atomically red*
Jaune: *is somehow visibly blushing*
Mama Arc: *is about to pop a blood vessel*
Yang: *smirking like a bastard from the chaos she caused*
Weiss, sighing deeply: What a merry party of adventures we have.
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moistmailman · 6 hours
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Nora: Come on, Pyrrha! Commit just one crime!
Pyrrha: No! I can’t do it! 😫
Nora: For your mental health!
Pyrrha: …can I pick the crime? Maybe I could take two free samples instead of just one? 🥺
Nora: Try a little bigger!
Pyrrha: 🤔
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Lisa Lavender: World finance markets were thrown into chaos today when servers storing a variety of student loan, credit card, and medical debt data were wiped out!
Lisa Lavender: The cause of the large-scale data loss remains unclear, but investigators found evidence of a simultaneous high-voltage surge and a spontaneous magnetic field which wiped all debt data clear and destroyed backups.
Lisa Lavender: Finance firms in all kingdoms are requesting aid in retrieving the missing data, but few citizens have come forward to provide details on their own debts.
Lisa Lavender: Intelligence organizations are investigating whether this represents an act of terror, but so far no organization has claimed responsibility.
Pyrrha: *turns off tv* 😰
Nora: *reading mail* I don’t know who “Sienna Khan” is, but she’s asking if we want a job with her!
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moistmailman · 7 hours
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How Pyrrha Unwinds
Pyrrha: …well…it’s been lovely, and thank you for having me on your show…! 😅
Pyrrha: *ends video call and slumps into her favorite comfy chair* 😮‍💨
Ren: Wow, that interview was really…something…
Nora: That host was a smug asshole! I wanted to jump through the screen and smack him! I don’t know how you stay so polite, Pyrrha!
Pyrrha: No…no…it’s fine…! He’s just doing his job!
Ren: *puts a hand on Pyrrha’s* Pyrrha, we’ve talked about this. You don’t have to pretend things are all right when they aren’t.
Pyrrha: 😣
Pyrrha: You’re right…! I hate doing these interviews with all their rude personal questions and I hate the constant expectation that I act perfectly every day because there’s always a camera! 😫
Nora: *wraps Pyrrha in a hug* Don’t worry, Pyrrha! We’re here to help! And so is Jaune when he gets back from his trip!
Pyrrha: *slumps* Thank you, Nora…it already helps to have real friends like you and Ren…
Pyrrha: I’m just feeling extra stressed right now because Jaune is out of town. He does this thing that makes me feel like I can be myself and forget all about being a celebrity!
Ren: Maybe we can help? What does Jaune do?
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Pyrrha: *exhausted after long day* 😞
Jaune: *carefully undoes Pyrrha’s armor* You know, you had the cutest laugh when you watched that kitten video earlier.
Pyrrha: *standing limp as Jaune undresses her* I do not. I laughed so hard I snorted…!
Jaune: *puts Pyrrha’s armor away and undoes her ponytail* It’s cute! And you also have a great sense of humor!
Pyrrha: *sighs as her hair is let down* You’re just saying that… 😮‍💨
Jaune: *takes off Pyrrha’s circlet and undoes her corset laces* And you’re totally badass. 😌
Pyrrha: *closes her eyes and leans into him* Noooooo…
Jaune: *kisses Pyrrha’s forehead while shrugging off his clothes down to his underwear* Yeah-huh! You looked super cool yesterday when you deployed your shield and spear without breaking stride!
Pyrrha: *slumps against Jaune in her underwear* Mmmmm…
Jaune: *turns on fan and pulls Pyrrha down on comfy couch*
Pyrrha: *nuzzles and wraps herself around Jaune, reveling in the intimacy, warmth, and soft skin contact on her nose and forehead* 🥰
Jaune/Pyrrha: *cuddle up in a tangle of limbs for a nap* 😴
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Nora/Ren: *sitting alongside Pyrrha with their arms around her*
Pyrrha: …thank you both, but it’s just not the same…😞
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moistmailman · 10 hours
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I don’t get how people will see Nintendo actively trying to ruin Gmod and their first reaction is to cope and show other companies doing something similar.
“HOW COME PEOPLE ONLY GET MAD AT NINTENDO?!”
Because Nintendo does this kinda shit so much. If they didn’t make good video games then their reputation would be worst than EA. It’s insane that people will go into dick sucking mode just because they grew up with their games.
I love Nintendo games but I’m certain that if they were allow to copyright the name Mario, then they would do it in a heartbeat. They’re out of touch.
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moistmailman · 14 hours
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Weiss: Pyrrha does this thing where she loudly exclaims "mwah" when she kisses Jaune, and it's super annoying... ly cute.
Yang: It's fascinating really, like a wildlife documentary. The wild Nikos alerting everyone that this is her mate.
Blake giggling: I think it's cute.
Ruby: Oh look they're meeting for their date!
*Across the courtyard.*
Jaune: Hey Pyr!
Pyrrha: Hello again! *Cups his cheeks and kisses him.* Mmmmmmmmwah!
RWBY: Awwww!
Pyrrha and Jaune whipping their heads around: What the?
*RWBY quickly hiding behind newspapers, Ruby hiding under a table, her cape like a tablecloth.*
Jaune: Huh. Weird. Anyway, ready to see the movie?
Pyrrha: I most certainly am my love. *Kisses him again.* Mmmmmmmwah!
RWBY in hiding still: Awwww!
Pyrrha: What is that, are we on a jumbotron?!
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moistmailman · 19 hours
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We need to let this die out because this show isn’t scooby doo at all. It’s nothing like it. It’s a rage baiting cash grab. Just give me one single character trait that someone like “Norville” shares with his original counterpart, Shaggy? Just one singular character trait that isn’t his green shirt. He’s not even a mean parody of shaggy at all. He is completely different character from his source material counterpart.
The shows not supposed to be liked. It’s supposed to piss everyone off.
Just watch the Harley Quinn show instead. At least that show seems to actually enjoy the source material.
Looking at screenshots of season 2 of Velma tells me that Mindy Kaling knows this will be the last season, and she is going out of her way to make it as rage bait as possible to get people to watch it in a desperate attempt to get it greenlit for another season.
Don’t fall for it. Let it die out into obscurity.
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moistmailman · 19 hours
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Looking at screenshots of season 2 of Velma tells me that Mindy Kaling knows this will be the last season, and she is going out of her way to make it as rage bait as possible to get people to watch it in a desperate attempt to get it greenlit for another season.
Don’t fall for it. Let it die out into obscurity.
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moistmailman · 1 day
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I never get why kids made fun of Deku for not having quirk when having a quirk mostly sucks. Like imagine a fellow classmate laughing at you because you’re quirkless while their quirk is literally just this
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moistmailman · 1 day
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Can’t wait to play Thousand Year Door remake and see every woman in the game lust over Mario again.
Paper Mario is one of the few valid harem protagonists.
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moistmailman · 1 day
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Look at this adorable man. Not a care in the world as he eats a map happily.
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moistmailman · 1 day
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There’s a scene in one of the animated movies where Superman was tortured for years while getting kryptonite injected into his body, having his veins be green. He is probably in constant pain. He is probably at his lowest he has ever been. Yet he saw Raven contemplating suicide, and he decided to crouch down and hug her to let her know that there’s still hope in the world.
THATS SUPERMAN! HE IS SHAPED LIKE A HUGGABLE FRIEND!
It’s so weird how some people (mostly Snyder fans) are hating on James Gunn’s Superman since James seems to writing him to as the embodiment of hope. Like I just saw one say how that’s goofy and how Man of Steel is better.
Tell me you don’t know a thing about Superman without telling me you don’t know a thing about Superman.
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moistmailman · 1 day
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It’s so weird how some people (mostly Snyder fans) are hating on James Gunn’s Superman since James seems to writing him to as the embodiment of hope. Like I just saw one say how that’s goofy and how Man of Steel is better.
Tell me you don’t know a thing about Superman without telling me you don’t know a thing about Superman.
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moistmailman · 1 day
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Guys, Velma season 2 is releasing tonight, so if you’re going to hate watch it then do it in a Jack Sparrow way.
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Short hair Pyrrha?
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Have a bonus Nora as a treat
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Me crashing my cybertruck into a rebar which impales me in the chest because my car didn’t stop accelerating (I am terminally injured and spitting up blood): T-this man i-is going to get u-us to mars one d-day.
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moistmailman · 2 days
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Pyrrha-Recommended, Pyrrha-Approved!
Ren: Pyrrha, we need to discuss your newest product endorsement.
Pyrrha: What’s wrong with it? I personally think the product is excellent and I use it every day!
Ren: That’s actually part of the problem. *pulls up a video on his scroll*
Pyrrha: *on screen holding a bottle of fancy olive oil* …this olive oil is excellent quality! I enjoy dipping bread bites in it, it can be used for poaching fish and cooking vegetables in the oven, rubbingonmyboyfriendstightlittlebutt, and in a pinch it can take the place of sauce on pasta! 😁
Ren: …
Pyrrha: 🙂
Ren: …do you seriously believe I’m going to ignore you sneaking in a dirty comment about Jaune’s glutes?
Pyrrha: I don’t know what you mean!
Ren: 😒
Pyrrha: 😇
Ren: 🤨
Pyrrha: Okay, fine…I’ve done so many of these ridiculous endorsements that after a while I started trying to sneak in funny comments while on the air. They’re all so tedious and annoying! 😣
Ren:Oh, I understand.
Ren: …so…
Ren: …how was it…?
Pyrrha: Firm and tight! I highly recommend it! 🥰
Ren: …do…do you think Nora would like it? If I rubbed oil on her…? 😣
Pyrrha: 😲 !!!!
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moistmailman · 2 days
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