moose-party

[moose-party]

Love, Mental Illness, insecurity, and self improvement

I have recently had to come back to my home state where my family is to try and get some things in order in my life such as getting my diploma and saving some money up so I can get an apartment with the love of my life. It’s only 500$ to get back to West Virginia and I just want to see my girlfriend again. I am deathly afraid that someone will come along and swoon her, but that’s because I have already had my first partner literally stolen and it really fucked me up. Now I am having to battle and get over this horrible insecurity I have with my current girlfriend.

I made her feel terrible because I came out here and my delusions and and insecurities are getting the better of me and I am pushing her away unintentionally. I don’t know

but in the first month I’ve been here I’ve been making immense progress.

I’m going to start my classes and graduate hopefully by June 10th and I will have my other issues fixed by then.

I have been writing a lot of edgy and sad sounding stuff a little dark like trap hip hop or something too personally.

I am going through an immensely rough time right now, all I want to do is be back with the love of my life but even she is telling me she needs a break from my craziness.

I don’t blame her, it is also why my ex wife left for someone else.

[moose-party]

Hey all!

Fernando Moose Garfunkle here! One man/moose band supreme and this generations greatest rockstar!!!

If you’ve found this blog it’s gonna be like my personal place. I’ve never really had one and I actually would like somewhere to post my thoughts without a character limit or anything like that. I’m not really planning on advertising this too much either aside from hashtags.

I don’t really know what to say for a first post so I will ramble and type.

If you would like to know a little backstory about me, I’m a Latino mix and I grew up a bit shy, I have a song that I’m working called “Been Around” which is kind of me telling in song form my personal history. If you go to my SoundCloud you can listen to the guitar demo for it. It’s really fun country rock twangy style. I was born in Arizona and moved to Washington State during my teens and after I turned 18 I decided to get married and elope with (at the time) my significant other (or as she would prefer it to be called) “Long time Girlfriend”. I have always LOVED rock music, I grew up in a predominately Mexican, hip hop, texmex, and rap listening family. I remember to this day when I went into a Walmart and saw the display for guitar hero 1. I had begged my mother to buy me an electric guitar but in my youth she would flat out refused until I “learned on acoustic first” which kind of killed my passion for it at first if I will be honest. But being able to play all these awesome rock songs and get the feeling of being on stage and performing was so cool to me. Not only did I love the virtual crowds, but I fell in love with the solos, rhythms, and bands of rockstars that were writing these awesome musical adventures and songs. I then began writing my own songwriting journey and adventure to become one of the greatest rockstars ever. I have my personal favorite artists and such, but I have never aimed to be the “next” anything. I have never believed in imitating or replicating someone else’s image especially as an aspiring artist myself. Although this has labeled me many times by other people as contrarian or a try hard because I’m trying to be genuine and make it to the top on the merit of my talent and original works.

Some of my all time favorite artists are: Unknown Mortal Orchestra, At the Drive-in, Melvins, Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, MF DOOM, Danny Brown, Project Pat, Mr.Bungle, Death Grips, The Meat Puppets, Ween, System of a Down, Modest Mouse, The Dead milkmen, Black Flag, Soundgarden, Descendents, Minutemen, Earl Sweatshirt, Tyler the Creator, The Clash, Hall & Oates, Korn, Pantera, and more I can’t think to list right now.

I used to love running around and playing outside like most kids that grew up in the 2000’s but I was also chronically online from about 5 years old onwards and it wasn’t up until recently that I started weening and getting off the internet a bit more. So I would spend a lot of time in random chat rooms, Skype group chats, and avatar spaces like: gaiaonline, habbo hotel, OMGPOP, & a plethora of other sites that I either can’t remember or just cannot find a trace of their existence to this day. I even remember when YouTube and 4chan were first made lol. If I wasn’t playing outside with my small pool of friends (I grew up with maybe only a handful of friends, but each one holds a special and memorable place in my heart and history), I was inside rocking out on guitar hero or looking up dumb stuff like Bigfoot/lichens monster videos on YouTube and researching my favorite video game lore on google hahaha.

I’ve almost like, NEVER NOT been in a relationship of some sorts. I guess because I just really love having a girlfriend or partner, but at the same time I lament it because I can’t truly be like, as selfish as I would like to be. Though, even if I feel that way I am forced to be empathetic and considerate of another person because they’re special to me, although I can be a bit of a hard to deal with partner especially because I don’t manage my time very well with my hobbies, partners, work, and such. My current girlfriend is very nice and works with me best as she can even though I piss her off a lot lol.

I’ve lived in quite a few states in my adult life, I will make some dedicated story posts and maybe even YouTube videos for those who may just want to listen instead of read an essay and a half about some dumb shit I did in a random time period.

In my adult life I’ve mostly been stuck in fast food, but I also really love blue collar work. If I could I would like to be an onsite chef for a group of fellas. There’s something about making some damn good food and seeing people enjoy what they’re eating and also trying to make it healthy for them. Stuff I love to cook is like spinach omelettes, pesto and arugula sandwiches, black bean burgers, hand breaded &self made chicken strips/patties, and more (that’s all I can think of right now). I recently got out of drive thru based service and now work in a diner and I actually like it a lot more compared to fast food. The ticket times are more forgiving and my coworkers and I all get along awesome. I also love working in a kitchen and not having to interact with people that shit rocks my casbah lmao.

That’s all I can really think to say at this time, but like I said I hope to make some story time posts and also make a listenable versions of them.

If you’d like to hear my stuff check out

Https://mooseparty.carrd.co <—- this is my main website and has the links to almost everything I do. At the moment though, I need to update it to include my twitch account where I stream clone hero and talk about music. That channels name is “MoosePartyIndustries” on twitch if you’d like to follow me there. OH ALSO I HAVE A BAND WITH MY BROTHER, we are called BALLISTIC BUDDHA and we have like 4 songs on YouTube you should definitely check out. My personal favorites of ours are “as the fields turn to ash” and “Fusion”.

Thanks for reading and getting to know me a little more! I’ll definitely remember to post here more since I’ve been needing somewhere to dump my thoughts.

Have a wonderful day! STAY SEXY AND KEEP IT 300

-Fernando Moose Garfunkle of MOOSE PARTY