mortallyclearwonderland

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Tales of the Underworld - Crack

[mortallyclearwonderland]

I think it's established that you can save droid's memories so when it gets destroyed you can just put old droid memories into a new body. It's also established that droids have different personalities even if they're the same model. So Cad must have decided to save Todo's copy of memories. I think it's easier for him to work with one droid despite its many flaws than having to get a new droid every time, having to teach them everything again, and having to take into consideration their different personalities.

The meta reason is probably that the creators just like the dynamic Todo and Cad have and wanted to keep him.

I think that in the moment, when Bane was planning and when he finally did blow Todo up, he did not GAF. I think that later, after the job was done, and he was sitting in his place alone with the reward, with no quippy little droid to banter with, that he felt a twinge of regret.

And I think he was happier than he probably let on when Todo found his way back to him again.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Niro can't run.

Everybody who watched Cad Bane episodes of Tales of the Underworld knows that the big plot point as to why things ended the way that they did is because Nito couldn't keep up with Cad.

Not only is he not as fast but also, does not have the same drive for money, is way too compassionate (Like how he's staring at the man who was just murdered in front of them that Cad has to shake him to make him run.), and can't do or doesn't think to slide over the hood of the car-ship.

And whatever training he went through did not fix that problem. Look at his run in episode 2 (or 5 if we're talking whole Underworlds show). Not even going that fast and tripping over nothing. I guess he put all his efforts into getting jacked.

I guess it makes sense. This town is in so desperate need of recruits that they take whoever wants to join.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Reuniting with Latts Razzi & C-21 Highsinger

It's cool to see another Besalisk (the other two were Dexter and Pong Krell).

(0.49) And here is a sad/concerned look over seeing somebody die I was asking for when Lyco killed that inquisitor.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Cad Bane - a dead beat dad

A lot of people are making jokes or genuinely thinking that Cad Bane is a deadbeat father.

By the definition of that word, yes, Cad Bane is a deadbeat father. But also, what other option did he had other then walk away? ''Hi son, I know you don't know me and I just killed your father but I'm your biological dad. Wanna be a bounty hunter like me?'' Leaving was the best thing he could do. I think that's why they had Arin die from the plot. If she was alive she would have explained everything to Cad. It also makes it sadder for Isaac who's now lost both his parents, as far as he knows. Which brings me to my next point. Does Isaac know now that he's Cad Bane's son? At the beginning of the episode clearly not and I'm not so sure if he understood the ''Not everything.'' line and had an epiphany like Bane. Maybe the mayor (I guess she'll adopt him.) will tell him when he's older.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Tales of the Underworld - Inquisitor

I've already made posts about Tales of the Underworld episodes but I need to praise this inquisitor some more. Yes, he dies (Or does he?) after one fight as soon as he's introduced.

His design is awesome!

Cool voice!

He puts up an awesome fight! (I'm gonna talk about it in detail in a moment.)

Some people are saying that Asajj should've kicked his ass with ease without any help. It just goes to show how the reputation of the inquisitors deteriorated over time. After the introduction of the Grand Inquisitor, every inquisitor after him got progressively less screen time and fewer great victories. I know why it's done. Killing a powerful opponent with ease is supposed to show how awesome and powerful the character who defeated them is. But that trick gets old very fast. Especially if you don't give the ''powerful'' villain any victories. Imagine if in the Clone Wars show Jedi and Clones were just tearing down their enemies without any struggle. That would be so lame. I must emphasize the ''Show, don't tell!'' rule. Going in we know that inquisitors kill Jedi and kidnap force-sensitive children but we also know that the main character won't die. At this point, inquisitors have a worse success rate than stormtroopers, clones, and droids. At least they have some successes and they have numbers on their side. At this point, I'm surprised there are any of them left. I know Asajj and Lyco need to defeat him to escape but that doesn't mean you have to kill him! Especially that the one who deals the finishing blow is Lyco. The same boy who the next episode goes on to say ''The loss of life is always tragic.'' and in the third episode he goes on to make peace with the natives instead of slaughtering them. We don't even get to see him grappling with the idea of killing somebody in such a dishonorable way. We get the, also overused at this point, surprise stab that's not surprising anymore! Not even a sad/pained expression that he had no other choice but to kill him. He looks angry!

This character's morals and beliefs are all over the place. He does whatever the plot needs him to do. It would be a cool character moment to show Lyco disarm (figuratively or literally) him or knock him out so that way he doesn't die and can return later in the rumored Asajj series as a serious threat. Maybe he could even go on to have his own redemption arc. (Asajj did, and she admits that she killed Jedi and did a lot of bad stuff under the separatists.) Being impressed with a young Padawan who still holds on to the Jedi teachings. He could be the one who completes Lyco's and Asajj's Jedi training. Remember, Asajj was taken and was taught to be a Sith since she was a Padawan. She ain't teaching Lyco shit about being a Jedi. Especially if her attitude about ''not acting like a Jedi'' doesn't change. It seems Disney forgot that there's more to being a Jedi than swinging a blue lightsaber. I got an idea for a fanfic, feel free to use it too. I'm still not sure if that inquisitor is 100% dead because it's Star Wars, and modern Disney's Star Wars. But I still doubt they will go with my idea.

Let's talk about his fighting style:

First, he waits for Ventress to make the first move before proceeding to counter her assault and brake down her defenses. This is a striking deviation from most Inquisitors who initiate the fight and try to overpower their opponents with multiple aggressive attacks fueled by rage.

He uses some hand to hand (or rather legs to the head) combat

I love how he just grabs her leg. It's funny but also brilliant in its simplicity.

He uses the force to grab and throw her.

(Logically speaking all force users should just spam force choke or force push but whatever. Maybe they need to regain their strength like it's a video game.)

He uses his environment! He created a smokescreen by severing that gas tube. He throws things at her!

He slices through shit that is thrown at him!

I know it's not that impressive when you read it but you would be surprised how few fights like this happen. It's usually a lot of swinging back and forth, maybe one or two of those tricks and not such fast succession.

He gets a bonus for being an inquisitor who speaks. I think his line ''I know who you are. You should've stayed dead.'' can become a meme because it can be used for so many characters, particularly in Star Wars. Let's list a few:

Maul (He's probably the only character who did it good.)

Ahsoka (She should've died while fighting Vader in Rebels. I said what I said!)

Aurra Sing (You probably forgot she was presumed dead for a while.)

Gregor (He should've died in the Clone Wars show like a badass instead of this lame shit in Rebels)

Cody

Anakin/Darth Vader

Obi Wan

PALPATINE!

The Grand Inquisitor (Twice! In Kenobi show and in a comic)

Boba Fett

Todo (Cad Bane's droid)

Cad Bane (Twice! After getting shot by Boba.)

R2-D2 (There was that one episode where he should've been turn into ATOMS after a huge explosion.)

Gungi (Kid Wookiee)

Reva

Sabine Wren (The infamous stab through the stomach.)

It would be also very funny if he joined the list if they bring him back for the rumored Ventress show. Stormtroopers immediately showed up after he got stabbed. Just give him the same magic cure all thing you gave to the Grand Inquisitor and Reva.

Feel free to add more if I forgot any.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

I was talking about the Polish dubbing.

Hello, I've seen you like my post about Cad Bane. I have another that might interest you. It's not a request or anything. I just want to share it with other people who might have similar interests. Here it is: https://www.tumblr.com/mortallyclearwonderland/782536658533875712/star-wars-p%C4%85czkidonuts?source=share

To make a long story short, in the Polish dubbing Cad Bane is voiced by the same guy who voices Scar (Skaza). The image of Cad Bane singing ''Be prepared'' is all I can think about. And now Cad Bane and Isaac being like Scar and Kovu. Isaac: What if I will end up like my father? I swear, I made this post before I knew the plot. If you have any questions, ask for more fun dubbing facts or want something translated just ask.

Wait, what? Jim Cummings? The guy who voices HONDO?

I AM SO CONFUSED

Jim sings that song in the American version, anyway.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Tales of the Underworld - Lazlo

I'm sorry but when I heard his name is Lazlo this is the first thing I thought of.

I find it rather funny that while Lazlo was mentoring young Cad Bane through all those years together he never taught him about protection and safe sex. It's not like his girlfriend (fuck buddy) is a different species so they might've assumed nothing will happen. They're the same species! (Also, can't wait for people to scream ''They're siblings! It's incest!'' when it's revealed Lazlo adopted her too as a kid, or maybe she's his biological daughter.)

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Star Wars - Tales of the underworld 4-6

I'll say it right out of the gate that I loved Cad Bane episodes. They were so much more interesting and far less formulaic than Asajj's. However, it doesn't mean they don't have their problems. But first of all, let me get some bad-faith criticisms out of the way.

Some people are pissed that we didn't get the unfinished arc with Boba vs Cad Bane. Don't get me wrong, I would love to see it but not in a cutup/shorter version to fit into the ''tales'' (3 shorter episodes arcs) format. Just give us Clone Wars season 8 or 6.5, Disney! I will judge episodes based on what they are, not what I wish they were.

There seem to be a lot of people who hate the idea of Cad Bane being heterosexual. Also, some people call Cad Bane a woman hater or a misogynist. Why? Because he doesn't have any love interest in the Clone Wars show? Because he says ''little lady''? Fuck you! Stop projecting your own crazy headcanons onto a character and a show as a whole. Go read or write a fanfic.

I mentioned it in previous episodes but with Cad Bane episodes, the short runtime and only 3 episodes rule is really hurting the flow of the story. All 6 episodes could've been about just Cad Bane and it would still leave room for more stories with him. Because he's older he mathematically has more time for his adventures and unlike Asajj we know very little about him. We end the first episode with child Cad Bane (or Colby) and the second episode opens with Cad Bane already way older, trained by and bonded with Lazlo, so much so that he wants to avenge his death which happens off screen by the way. Also, a female Duro joined their gang and Cad got her pregnant. I guess it leaves room for more stories. I would much prefer for the story to leave me wanting more rather than leave me thinking ''Well, that was pointless.'' (Kinda like Asajj episodes.).

Also, I find it rather funny that while Lazlo was mentoring young Cad Bane through all those years together he never taught him about protection and safe sex. It's not like his girlfriend (fuck buddy) is a different species so they might've assumed nothing will happen. They're the same species! (Also, can't wait for people to scream ''They're siblings! It's incest!'' when it's revealed Lazlo adopted her too as a kid, or maybe she's his biological daughter.)

Cad Bane's real name being Colby has some implications. Some people hate it, some people love it for how funny it is. I didn't know that Colby is a real human name and apparently a cheese. To me, before I found out about it, it just sounded like an alien name. In Clone Wars characters refer to him as Cad Bane, if I remember correctly there are documents with his information and there should be the real name and not a nickname. Did he legally change it? Are other characters just refusing to call him Colby and use his more badass name because they realize how funny/stupid it is? ''I've been beaten by Col . . . Cad Bane, that's his name, Cad Bane.''

Also, I find it quite ironic that there is a comic about Cad Bane hunting down and killing his old childhood friend for impersonating him. Meanwhile, he inspired his whole look after his dead father figure. Not contradicting or hypocritical per se but quite. . . awkward? convenient? derivative? I'm struggling to find the right word, but I think we're all tired of the ''Solo'' thing where everything has to be explained or has to have a ''deeper'' meaning by giving it a backstory. Why his name couldn't just be Cad Bane? Why can't his style and outfit be just something he come up with himself and likes it because it's cool. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pCB3L8dfxI

Going back to his girlfriend. Some people have gripes with her that she didn't tell Cad Bane that she's pregnant sooner. She was about to but then the plot happened and it wouldn't be convenient. ''I know your father figure died but I'm pregnant.'' or ''I know we're about to be arrested but I'm pregnant.''.

My biggest problem is that Cad Bane doesn't seem to be that interested in her at first. She openly flirts with him but he doesn't seem to react to it whatsoever and later we see them playing cards. I'm not asking for them to make out or have sex on screen but some hint of a mutual attraction would've been good. To me it looked like her having an unrequited crush on Bane. When she got shot I expected Cad to ditch her to save himself, Niro to take care of her and that's what pushed her to get over Cad Bane and fall in love with Niro and leave the life of crime. (''Don't go for the bad boy girls. Real life is not a movie. He's gonna get you killed.'') But now it looks like she just got together with Niro because she didn't want her kid to be a fatherless bastard. Not helped by the fact we never see Niro and Arin together after Cad gets arrested. Did they ever love each other?

Speaking of Cad Getting arrested. He apparently got out on a technicality. Excuse me, WHAT? He burned down a building! Shoot police droids! He killed a human sheriff, as in, a living being! Everybody saw it! And he did all this as revenge for his gang leader! Did he plead insanity? Did he tell them his backstory of being taken as a kid by a gang therefore his sentence was reduced? Why didn't you just say there was a prison break? Because you wanted to make a commentary about how the justice system is flawed and criminals get absurdly short sentences or get out of jail entirely? Well, I'm sorry, but you don't have time for that. You have all this personal drama between Niro, Arin, and Cad Bane/Colby. Maybe if it was a full arc with longer episodes like Clone Wars but here it's just two lines.

Also, I'm tired of all Cad Bane battles being reduced to a western standoff. Do you recall Cad Bane from the Clone Wars? His gadgets, the rocket boots, grappling hook, tubes etc.? They would make up for his scrawny physique but he could still be active in battle. Like how he fought with Ahsoka, Obi Wan and Anakin? But what I miss most is his intelligence and cunning. His well-thought-out plans for a robbery. He can do more than stand menacingly and shoot! I know it's a younger Cad and he doesn't have Todo, his gadgets or experience but it would be nice to see some glimpses of them. One look at Isaac and his history with Arin should've been enough for Cad to connect the dots. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvpHk1UgiEY&t=1928s

Speaking of Isaac himself. I don't know what they're gonna do with him. Is he going to hunt down Cad Bane? We know that Cad will go on to have a long life so I guess not. Or maybe he will try but have a change of heart or Cad Bane will kill his own son. That would be interesting. Maybe he would be like his dad and become a sheriff but that would force him to be forever stuck in this one town so he will not go on many adventures. I'm curies what they're going to do with him.

Alright, I've done a lot of complaining but this is probably the most entertained, immersed, and excited I was while watching anything Star Wars since the Bad Batch season one premiere. While the Bad Batch fell off and felt more like a chore to get through, live action shows ruined established characters so much I pretend they don't exist and would be content with never seeing them again, or were a fart in a wind, or made connections to the sequel trilogy completely killing my interest and reminding me that no matter how good some prequel material is, it's all leading up to the biggest catastrophe in cinematic history. (I hope someone comes in and retcons Disney's sludge! Let them know how it feels!) This Cad Bane arc left me wanting more, it left me thinking about what I just watched, I got my gears turning with so many scenarios, it reminded me of Clone Wars, the unfinished arcs that could still be adapted, a new stories for the old characters like Bossk and Boba and finally some new characters that might go beyond the show they were introduced in and if not they're still memorable. More of this please! Just fix the small things that I mentioned and we can have gold on our hands.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Star Wars - Tales of the underworld 1-3

Let's star with the 3 episodes about Asajj Ventress, because those were first and I have very little to say about them. It's a standard modern star wars story in all it's good and bad parts.

''The Path'' for escaping Jedi would never be a secret. There are apparently rumors everywhere. Stormtroopers, inquisitors, imperial spies, etc. should be listening and checking those places. At least in the ''Tales of the Empire'' the icy path was a trap you can't get out of unless you know the way or come to the light and become a good person. (But you can just fly over it with a ship and notice a ship full of force-sensitive people and their friends that you can just blow up!)

An Inquisitor with a really cool design that dies a few minutes after he shows up. Or is he dead? Apparently, only Qui Gon Jinn dies from getting stabbed with a lightsaber. Maybe he'll return in the rumored Asajj's new show. But to be fair he put out way more of a fight than some other villains. Some people had a problem with that. Saying she should just kick that inquisitor's ass with no help from the young padawan. But that would be very boring and lame. Think back to the original Clone Wars show and how much Ventress and other powerful characters fought with all their might to get out a sticky situation. Or would you prefer they would've fought only against useless droids/stormtroopers (Which by the way, they're not that useless and the jokes about them making it into the actual shows is pathetic. It undermines every victory against them and makes everybody who ever struggled or died from them look like an incompetent idiot.) It's not like Asajj was making stupid mistakes just to make the kid look awesome.

Speaking of which. Ventress officially joined the club of ''lone wolf and a cub'' trope. I'll be the first to say there's nothing wrong with this trope, it's all about the execution. I would also say that a lot of modern stories are made worse by trying to be ''subversive''' rather than telling a good story. However, I must say I'm tired of seeing it over and over again in Star Wars, Jedi Masters and their padawans are a different story, when Mandalorian did it it was somewhat new and cool. They did it in the Bad Batch with Omega. Now this!Do the Star Wars writers know you can have two adults have a meaningful relationship, maybe romance, a friendship, they can even learn from one another. You don't need a kid to tell them exposition or to raise the stakes by throwing a baby into danger.

Going back to the kid himself, you probably noticed I'm not using his name. That's because I already forgot it. Some people speculated from his look that he might be older Petro but I'm telling you right now, his design is just that generic. This kid has no personality to speak of. He's just a nice jedi padawan who's not as comfortable with killing unlike other characters around him and sometimes cracks a joke or says something awkward to show you he's not a robot. I know that him staying with Ventress is supposed to be heartwarming and everybody he knows is dead but really? Everybody? Is there no one he's not sure if they're dead ? Does he not want to be a Jedi anymore or does he think Ventress will teach him? There's more to being a Jedi than swinging a laser sword. It's a philosophy and a way of life, which he and Asajj don't seem to have the same view on.

Which brings me to my next point. What the hell is Asajj even doing and planning to do? It seems she's not as bad as bounty hunters but she's not as good as Jedi. She just wants a normal boring life which doesn't seem that interesting of a plot point for future stories. Will she and her new kid now go from one boring job to another while having wacky adventures and being more moral bounty hunters? If that's what they'll do with Ventress, my response to that is: ''She should've stayed dead.''

Also, what if Asajj dies again? Will she go to her sisters or is it permanently out of the option? The whole coming back to life happened because she was submerged in some water on her home planet? But then during the massacre of the witches, all of them died and weren't given a proper funeral (unless Asajj did everything herself).

Also, also, if you didn't read or don't know the plot summary of ''Dark Disciple'' you'll be very confused at the beginning. But I'm glad Disney didn't just throw the whole story into the trash.

Just animate the whole thing, Disney! (In their original, over 20 minutes long, runtime! We all don't have attention spam of an iPad kid.) Also with other arcs, like Cad Bane vs Boba it's cannon. Name it Star Wars the Clone Wars season 8 or 6.5 or something.

I know it sounds like I hate those episodes but they were good. I just used this opportunity to explain my general thoughts about Star Wars as a whole, opportunities for the future but also possible problems. It's also a lot easier to explain why something is bad rather than why something is good.

The episodes themselves are good but I think it would make them some good if they were longer, like an average episode of a Clone Wars TV show. It would give some time for the mood and weight of the scene to settle in before moving to the next one. Like how in episode 1 that one cunt lady hears the word ''reward'' and snitches without a second thought. I feel like in a standard episode she would've given some subtle signal or gesture to tell the stormtrooper what's going on and then they would try to be sneaky about catching the kid Jedi, or she would pretend to go along with Ventress and snitch when she lives with her new friend. Episode 2, Asajj's bounty hunter friends going from ''Hi, long time no see." to ''Screw you.'' really quick. Episode 3, the separatist grandpa goes from ''I hate those aliens. I've been at war for so long I don't know how to live normally.'' to, ''Okay, let's try being friendly.''

The episodes' plots are cool. First one, meet and run from the stormtroopers and an inquisitor. Second one, a heist. Third one, fetching water at the desert and staying together.

Animation

Music

The kid isn't as annoying as Omega (and now Omega fans will be after me).

See you later in the next post where I cover Cad Bane episodes.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Star Wars - Pączki/donuts

Hello there! I think most of you are familiar with more popular Star Wars memes. But not all memes get to be as huge as ''Hello there!'', ''It's treason then.'' etc. Some jokes get only a bit of popularity in a small community on the internet, a group of friends, or a country. I want to share some jokes, memes, and fun facts from my country, Poland.

To be honest, there isn't much to say about the classic English memes. Everybody uses them because it's more convenient, they're much funnier in English (in great part thanks to the much funnier delivery of those lines) and a big part of people in Poland, does not like the dubbing and prefers to watch in English, with subtitles or a lector. But there is one meme that originates from Poland.

There is a parody Star Wars video and to make a long story short the whole plot was changed, Palpatine wants to take over all bakeries in the galaxy and get all the pączki/donuts.

(Polish donuts/pączki are different from American donuts. Polish pączki don't have a hole and they're usually filled with jam, marmalade, etc.)

A huge part of why this is popular in Poland is because we have a holiday called tłusty czwartek/fat Thursday (12th of February). That's why a lot of people use the meme of Palpatine saying ''Wyjdź mi do sklepu po pączki.''/''Go (for me) to the store for donuts.'' every year on that specific day.

I previously mentioned that most people don't like Polish dubbing and prefer to watch the movies in their original form, But I think there's plenty of meme potential there. Just look at who's voicing Anakin and Obi Wan!

Anankin going ''I'm son of a shepherd!''

That scene from Shrek the Third but with Kenobi having little Ani in a baby carrier.

And sticking with the pastry theme, Kenobi's voice actor also voiced the squirrel from Over the Hedge that goes crazy over cookies, and Count Dooku's voice actor also voices the Cookie Monster. Speaking of which. Anakin's VA also voiced Elmo. I can't be the only one who sees the potential!

And look who's voicing Cad Bane!

And now look who's voicing Luck Skywalker!

Am I hearing Disney's Atlatis but with Star Wars characters?

It's getting long. I might add something later. If you want something translated from Polish to English just ask. I might even upload the entire parody video and translate it.

Happy may the 4th!

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Zevo 3 - Episode 1 Beneath the City

Recently I've seen a lot of videos talking about Zevo 3. Most of the videos talk about the show go into detail about how it was made to sell shoes, talk about the show in broad strokes not getting much into detail. Since the show is so short, only one season with 26 episodes running for about 21 minutes (Remember when it was the standard, not the 5 minutes, 12 minutes, or an hour with the show lasting 6 episodes?) I've decided to review every single episode.

Similar to my Kung Fu Panda: Legends of awesomeness reviews, but unlike those I will not be able to provide you with fun facts about the Polish dubbing because as far as I looked there is no Polish dubbing, and if there is I have nowhere to watch it. I checked all totally legit, totally not free sites and there's nothing. If somebody will show me where I can watch the Polish dub I'll gladly go back and add some fun facts to the original reviews.

Without any further ado let's get into it.

Synopsis: Jason, Ellie and Matt recount how they became superheroes and unwittingly released their new archenemy Stankfoot and Blacktop.

Problems: It's a very easy plot, an origin story for the heroes and their main villains. But even if something is easy it doesn't mean you shouldn't put effort into it because you end up with a bunch of small problems that stuck up on top of each other.

Flashbacks: I don't like the flashback form of the episode. On the surface, showing one event from different points of view is a great way to establish each character but we don't need a flashback for that. The episode could just begin with the exposition/origin of the two cities, and have a time skip to where the characters are doing their thing. Show us Matt interacting with his pet first and then it escaping so he goes looking for it and then his sister going after him. Show us their parents instead of only mentioning them. Show us how they got from their city to the old city. As is, we're just dropped in the middle of the kids having a conversation, interacting like they've known each other for a considered amount of time and I still have no idea where they were. It wasn't the siblings' place because Matt says that James never visits them, so they had to come to him. But later Ellie says that James can try making a run for it. Really? Run out of his own home and live two strangers there? For now, James seems to be an orphan who lives alone on the ship. Unless he has his own home and family, and the ship is just his hideout.

Powers: Another problem is that kids learn how to use their powers way too fast. They're attacked by a mutant dog from earlier and start using their powers. It's not like it grabs Ellie by the hair making it stretch or jump at them so they outstretch their arms accidentally activating their powers like Peter his webs when making his signature hand gesture. The dog just runs up to them and they transform into their superhero suits. I know not everybody is a seamstress and can make their own superhero costume but, really? The most ridiculous is Ellie with a giant E on her shirt and Matt gaining technologically advanced visor. He could've made it himself. Or have their costumes be more biologically based. Have Ellie be wrapped in her hair like a mummy, have Matt be more like ice man and James like Silver Surfer. Speaking of their powers. The show annihilated any stakes regarding them getting hurt. I never expected any characters to die in this show. But just because you don't intend to kill a character doesn't mean you give them so much plot armor. Matt crashes through several buildings and dusts himself off, the monster crushes them all with a building and Ellie just picks it up with her hair, no scratch on any of them. You could argue that they weren't crushed, but simply trapped in the building's hollow space but Ellie still picked it up no problem. There is also a moment when she's falling but James catches her but I didn't care because I know she can take worse hits and I was busy wondering why she doesn't fly. Her hair are still long enough to propel her like Tales from Sonic.

Time: Another huge problem is the timeline of events. The episode is framed like it all happened in one day, but the dialogue tells us something else. Also, how long is ''long ago''? Stankfoot had his accident, the new city was built, the main characters were born in it, or moved there.

Good parts:

Potential: I make this show sound way worse than it is. The episode was fine. What I'm saying is that with just a few rewrites this episode could've gone from meh/good to great/fantastic. Rewrite some dialogue, rework a couple of scenes, change some details, that will make a big impact. Relocate the statue of Dr. Stankfoot into some other place so the fact that he mutates some time after the kids makes sense. Make the kids find some secret tunnel between the two cities, so it doesn't seem like anybody and anything can just go between the two whenever they feel like it. I have a lot to say but I don't want this post to be too long and I feel later episodes will give me plenty of opportunities to talk about what I did not mentioned here.

Animation/Art Style/Character Designs: I'm the 2000s baby, I miss this art style and character designs. Sharp edges, no bean mouth, characters' heads aren't bigger than their whole body, legs and arms aren't just noodles, most of the characters aren't butt ugly or boring to look at. I know that modern shows like Owl House or Invincible have better animation but I prefer to look at this show.

Characters: Unlike Kung Fu Panda show where they have established characters to be faithful to, this show is this character's debut, unless you want to count the commercials. James is the cool loner and the leader in the making. It's fine to have him from the start instead of him being the ''bad guy'' of the team or being the one who joins the team later. Matt is the kid, tech guy, buttmonkey, and the one who is the most excited to be the hero of the group. I like this combination. Ellie is just the girl and big sister in the group. She can do gymnastics which is the only explanation we have as to why she's so good with her powers. But this talent isn't as unique because James can do basically the same things thanks to his experience with ''free running''. It's also implied she has a lot of going on. We'll see in later episodes what's it all about or if was it just a generic excuse. Also, I don't get their apparent guilt over the mutant attacking the city being their fault. There are already mutants on the loose. At best they just made them mutate again which is not good but it was already gone anyway, so no big difference. They don't know that they woke up the crazy doctor who wants to take over the world with his monsters. For all they know it's just some monster that finally realize that there are no measures to keep it from going anywhere. They're fine characters. It's just episode one.

But I have to talk about two things. James wants nothing to do with Matt and Ellie but he still lets them into his place, he has ''Blue Boys'' number and answered his call despite being frustrated. It's not an outright contradiction but despite his loner persona he still cares about them and is protective of them. For example when he puts himself between them and the mutant dog. He's a tsundere. I wonder if there's a reason for him to act this way or is it just his personality. The other moment is Ellie saying ''My parents are gonna kill me.'' when referring to her little brother potentially dying. I know it's supposed to be a funny moment/relatable thing teens say and probably because she and James were alive, she assumed her brother was alive. But it still annoyed me. You're little brother might be dead and you act as if you didn't do your chores or got an F.

Villains: Stankfoot despite his stupid name and disgusting powers he's a cool villain. His design is great, because he's voiced by Mark Hamill he sounds great too. He's basically the Joker for feet fetishists. Let's make him Tumblr Sexy Man! You can do it. His motivation is a bit odd. He was a successor to a huge company, but one of his experiments destroyed the whole city and now that he's back he wants to take over the city . . . by destroying it? It's a problem with a lot of villains in general, how are they gonna rule over something that you destroyed? I think the implication is that he was trying to create an army to take over and now, despite not everything going according to his plan, he just goes along with the new opportunities and is about to finish what he started. Also, don't eat while watching this show, especially when he's on screen. The scene where the blob monster is drinking black sludge dripping from his toenail is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in an animated show.

The other villain is the mayor. So far they're only setting him up. He tries to cover up the monster attack and spin the story that it was a tornado. How is he gonna do that?! There are witnesses who can say it was a monster. The destruction made by that mutant look nothing like, a distraction made by a tornado. With how technologically advanced everything is hundreds of videos documenting the event would've been uploaded to the internet and would've been seen by people around the world. Even if he somehow deletes the footage from the cameras around the city, and takes down all the videos from the internet, how is he gonna get the videos saved by the viewers and made by people who were there and recorded everything on their private devices? Is he gonna walk door to door and check every single citizen? I'm sure it will gain him more voters. (SARCASM) I don't think the show will go in this direction but I'm intrigued what he's going to do.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

I'm curious. I haven't seen Nezha 2 yet. What are the moments between them that make people ship them?

alright. hear me out

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Iconic animated movie scenes but made in Nezha

I, probably like the rest of you, just found out about Nezha 2 because it's now the biggest animated movie. Not saying that the box office numbers are always an indicator of the movie's quality, most Disney/Pixar sequels, live action remakes (until recently), every Despicable Me sequel and many slept on classics that didn't get as much money because they weren't promoted enough or they come out around the same time as other great movies. I remember when it used to be a regular thing and not just 3 good movies a year.

Rant over, going back to Nezha. I haven't seen the first or the second movie yet, because busy. But I did watched some YouTube videos talking about how it's the biggest animated movie now, I also found some things about the original story and other adaptations and some fanfics. I also saw the ending scene of the second movie and I saw somebody say that this ending is just like in Disney's The Little Mermaid in which a King of water creatures let's his child go. This one comment opened up a floodgate of ideas in which I try to fit Nezha and Ao Bing into a bunch of other movies with similar plots or at least scenes that could be in Nezha movies. Enjoy and be inspired!

I already mentioned the little mermaid ending, but I would especially love to see Ao Bing coming out of the sea with open arms and shinning outfit (his clothes, I don't know what they're called, are already similar) while Nezha runs to him and picks him. Also, ''Daddy, I love him.'' You can retell the whole movie with them.

2. Another pretty obvious one are How to Train your Dragon movies. How humans fight with dragons but Nezha can't bring himself to kill Ao Bing, and from now on you can take the story wherever you want, friendship or love. It's not like I invented the idea, besides Astrid, Hiccup is the most shipped with antro/shapeshifting Toothless which is just like Ao Bing. You can go the, Nezha is Night Fury and Ao Bing is Light Fury, rout. I especially would love to see the deleted/changed scene from the third movie but with Ao Bing and Nezha instead. Also, the scene where Hiccup is mesmerized by Astrid when she whips her hair in front of an explosion. You can decide who looks at who, either way works. Or when Hiccup tells Astrid off (Yes, he wants to protect his dragon.) and she's like ''wow'' just like Ao Bing looks at Nezha during the ending of the second movie. Don't forget other family members! It would be cool if Nezha's family became the first dragon riders. Maybe their fathers don't get along at first but grow to like each other like Stoick and his dragon.

3. Another movie is Tangled. Nezha can use his sash or Ao Bing can use his hair like Rapunzel. In the original story, both Ao Bing and Nezha die. It can be easily changed that one got hurt saving the other and their magic can bring them back to life, the flower can be a lotus. Nezha = Fire = Sun = Light = Lanterns Ao Bing = Water = Healing = Moon = Night = Lanterns = Boat scene

4. Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron. Dragons can be different sizes, so what if Ao Bing's dragon form was about the size of a horse and is hurt/too weak/doesn't know how to fly. Ao Bing and Nezha have their leap of faith and Ao Bing finally flies. Or the swimming scene. But with Nezha being human (humanoid?) and Ao Bing being in his dragon form it would play out more like the scene in Brother Bear 2. Speaking of which . . .

5. If you want to be a bit darker you can use some elements from Brother Bear. Three brothers, the youngest hot headed one leaves the fish in the open, bears dragons eat them, to prove himself he goes to get the basket and fish back (From their stomachs? I don't know what he expected to happen. He wasn't yet determined to kill it, was surprised when he saw it and said that he'll get the basket back.) but his brother dies instead. Nezha hunts down the dragon (which can be Ao Bing's mother) and kills it. Nezha gets turned into a dragon and has to learn what they're really like, what it means to be a man (someone who uses his strength to protect and not hurt), and the power of love (brotherly or romantic). I think this story fits perfectly into some of the themes of the original and the new version, shedding light on omitted characters, is a ''what if'' Nezha decided to stay with Ao Bing instead of the other way around. Also, I would like to give some ideas to people who don't ship it and just want them to stay as friends/brothers/soulmates without any romantic feelings.

6. Now we go from the whole movie with plots and character arcs to just some scenes. This one is from Disney's Atlantis. Kida aka Ao Bing goes swimming with Milo aka Nezha who gets flustered. I think this scene would've worked ''better'' with Ao Bing who is covered almost head to toe as opposed to Kida who wears a two-piece swimsuit with a towel over her hips almost 24/7. Switching Atlanteans for Dragons wouldn't be too hard but Milo and Nezha are too different not to mention you would need to rewrite the whole supporting cast in terms of their personalities and abilities.

7. Another scene is from Disney Tarzan in which Jane and Tarzan swing on the vine together. I think Nezha's sash would make a good replacement for a vine but other than that I got nothing. Tarzan's story would fit Wukong more. Nezha is a ''wild'' child but not literally.

8. Beauty and the Beast ''You came back.'' scene. I think it can work as a more emotional alternative to Nezha's confident ''I knew you'd be back.'' If you want to be more faithful to the original you would make Ao Bing the Beast but if you want to be more with the 2019 movie you would make Nezha the Beast. But it still would not work 100% because the whole point of Disney's Beauty and the Beast is that the prince was transformed for being a bad person meanwhile Nezha was just born that way and he's not actually evil.

9. Running on raindrops from Raya and the last Dragon, this the only think I liked from this movie. Watch LobsterHero's review of it.

10. Ao Bing uses his ice and water powers like Elsa from Frozen. I grew to hate Frozen for its problems, being overrated and everywhere, its terrible sequel, and many more in the works. But credit where credit is due, they have nice ice and some songs are great (if you don't think about what they do to the story). I can see Ao Bing not fully controlling his powers and accidentally ''outing'' himself as a dragon. Singing ''let it go'' when he is at odds with his family or ''into the unknown'' and ''found yourself'' in regards to him being drawn to Nezha as his literal other half. At least it makes more sense than whatever Frozen 2 tried to do. The reason why Frozen's formula wouldn't work is that Nezha is the one being an outcast. I guess you can change it to him being just a normal human or have him find out about his powers much later like in those fake Frozen trailers in which Anna has magic powers that are the opposite of Elsa's. Also, Ao Bing has a family and a whole species just like him that he can go back to. He's not like Elsa who is the only one with powers (Unless Frozen 3, 4, or 5 change that.) and is afraid she'll be feared or killed for being a witch or something. If some humans tried to hurt him, his father and other dragons would eat them alive.

That's it for now. If I'll have any more ideas I'll post them. Now, I would like to hear yours. Please use those ideas I listed in your fanart and fanfiction. It's not plagiarism. I want more fanfics (like 90% of them are in Chinese and other Asian languages and google translate isn't the best) and art. Let's make it a challenge to make it go big. I know Tumblr. It can be done. I challenge whoever reads it to use one of my ideas. (Please and thank you. Do it only if you truly want to. It's just a joke and for fun.)

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Isn't there a rule that an exiled person can't come back just because the person who exiled them is gone, let alone rule?

Imagine being exiled from your homeland by your own mother and having to settle into a new city and eventually declaring it your new home, only for you to be forced to go back to take your mother’s place…

Mel deserved so much better…

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Rise of the Planet of the Apes review

Fun fact, in the Polish version this movie is called Geneza Planety Małp - Genesis of the Planet of the Apes. Which I think is a more accurate description. I would argue the second or the third movie is more of a ''rise''. And the second movie is called Evolution of the Planet of the Apes which I like. Meanwhile, the third movie is translated exactly word for word, War for the Planet of the Apes - Wojna o Planetę Małp. Although, I think the second movie is more of a war film than the third but about that in the later post.

What's Great about the movie:

The Characters: I'm going to talk about the supporting characters later in other points, so let's focus on the main ones. Will and Caesar both are the heart and soul of this movie. That's what morally gray characters look like. Will does a lot of bad things. He experiments on apes, essentially experiments on his father by giving him untested medicine that can do who knows what with his father (We as the movie watchers can already tell. But you know what I mean. Fictional characters don't know they're part of a movie/book/etc. Do you think every little noise is a killer trying to get you? I swear, CinemaSins and self aware ''humor'' destroyed people's understanding of how one should interact with a fictional story.), keeps a chimpanzee in his house from which it can easily escape from, is responsible for the spread of a virus that massacres almost all of humanity and is the cause of the apocalypse. No, movie, you're not going to shift all the blame onto other characters. Patient, patient, we'll get to it when we get to it. But the reason why you, or at least I, don't want to strangle Will for all his faults is because he has a great motivation as to why he's doing what he's doing. He wants to cure Alzheimer which not only will help his father but the whole world. He also truly loves Caesar.

Speaking of Caesar, even with all his intelligence, he's not immune to making emotional decisions. Trying to protect Will's father he bites their neighbor and because of this he lands in the ape prison. He did not fit in with humans because he's a chimpanzee and his intelligence was not yet developed enough, but he also was too human-like to fit in with the other apes. Making him an outcast in both worlds. Therefore he decided to create others like him and take them to the only place where he felt free. But to be fair I don't know what other alternative he could have. Go back home with his dad Will and spend the rest of his life inside, with an occasional walk to a park once in a while? Wait until he gets smart enough to be a part of human society, go to school, get a job, and marry a furry/tetraphilia? Ask for a private island with other intelligent apes? This story and the characters in it are very tragic. The viewer is constantly switching between rooting for the apes and rooting for the humans. You want animals to be happy, free, and well cared for, but you also don't want humans to get hurt and the entire human civilization to collapse.

You find yourself wanting, "Let's just live together in peace." but this and all other movies go on to prove it's way harder than it seems. Which brings me to my next point.

The emotion: I can't find the words to describe how I felt watching the first movie. It's like watching Titanic or a documentary about some other disaster. You already know what's coming, but you still find yourself at the edge of your seat hoping that by some miracle the inevitable doesn't happen. Even tho you know how it ends, you're stealing dying to know how it all went down. It was my first time watching any Planet of the Apes movie, my prior knowledge at this point boiled down to the iconic moment with the ruined Statue of Liberty and that one Simpsons joke. My eyes were glued to the TV, taking in all the information as if I was drinking water after a run. The scene when Will's dad tries to drive a car is one of the most intense moments I have ever seen. The whiplash of internally screaming at Caesar to go outside and stop him only to scream ''Stay inside! Don't go! You're going to get in trouble!''. The scene when Will's dad tries to drive a car is one of the most intense moments I have ever seen. The whiplash of internally screaming at Caesar to go outside and stop him only to scream ''Stay inside! Don't go! You're going to get in trouble!''. Going from fear that he's going to die in a car crash, to a feeling of relief that he only bumped into other cars, and panicking again that he's going to get in trouble. A fight between understanding why the neighbor is angry and wishing he would just calm down and be nice. Absolute Cinema!

This is what I've been starving for. A movie, a franchise that takes itself seriously. In the modern market with an overabundance of cynicism, ''humor'' that relays on making fun of and undermining your own story at every turn, killing any emotional moment with ''jokes'', never letting the audience be silent observers because the characters are constantly talking to the them by breaking the 4th wall so much the whole house is coming down it was cathartic to watch something sincere.

Let's be honest, for years Hollywood has been putting out sludge with an occasional diamond in the ruff but even the things I enjoyed at the end of the day were ''just movies''. Watching this movie I felt what I haven't felt in a long time. It was an experience!

When I saw Caesar drawing his window on the wall and later wiping it off . . . I felt that. I felt more for this CGI chimpanzee than for the army of #relatable characters from the past 5 years combined. That's the power of empathy!

This is not the time to go into depth about the sequels but I can assure you right now, for all their problems they never lose their heart. I just hope it stays that way. I don't want to watch my new beloved franchise go down like many others.

No humanity bashing: This movie is not like Avatar (the blue one) where all of humanity is evil or Captain Planet where people do evil things to nature just to be evil. People don't pour oil into the oceans to watch whales die. They use the apes to test medicine for people because they are our closest relative and they can't just go testing stuff on people, at least not right away.

Even the neighbor who is often dismissed by the viewers as an asshole has a point. The movie implies he's not ace in biology because he calls a chimp a monkey and that if he wasn't so ignorant he would understand that chimpanzees are actually very loving creatures. Caesar is one of the main characters, so the movie is from his point of view and the audience is supposed to root for him. From his perspective, he just wanted to play with people, and most people watching the movie probably think ''Don't hurt him. He just wants to play. He's not dangerous. Let him play with your daughter.'' Now let's put ourselves in this man's shoes. You live the peaceful, or rather stressful, life of an airplane pilot (this will be important soon) with your family. Suddenly one day, out of nowhere, your next door neighbor has a chimpanzee. From the dialogue it can be concluded that this was not the first such encounter. Keep in mind that Caesar has not fully ''transformed'' yet. He's getting smarter over the years, so when they first met he must've been still pretty animalistic, and first impression can be only done once. Besides, it's not like he knows Caesar is almost human-smart. As far as he knows it's just a regular chimp. And if you know anything about chimps you would probably be as afraid as this him if not more. From his perspective, Caesar would soon turn his daughter into Charla Nash. The closest we have to a truly evil human character in the movie and the whole franchise (as far as I watched) is Draco Malfoy Dodge Landon who tortures apes for fun.He hates apes but he got the job because he's a nepo-baby. Meanwhile, his coworker is just a doormat.

Stories about good vs evil can still be great, deep, and thought-provoking, like Star Wars (before Disney) and Lord Of The Rings (before Amazon) but it's nice to have variety.

CGI/Look of the movie: Of course, it's a touch dated, especially comparing the first movie to the latest but it still looks great. Especially when you compare it to some trash today.

There are two scenes I really like. The one during which Caesar is climbing up a tree for the first time. The second one is when people can see leaves falling in the distance before they notice apes in the trees.

What's bad about the movie:

How Will got Caesar: These scientists didn't notice that Caesar's mom was pregnant, seriously? Nothing came up during any tests? They didn't notice her belly getting bigger even tho they fed her the same amount of food? How the hell can Will keep a chimpanzee in his suburban house? No one called the police before the events in the movie? I know San Francisco is a big city but a guy with a pet chimp never made a news? I know there are crazy people who buy exotic animals even if they don't rehabilitate them or anything, but it's usually done illegally, so why wasn't Will arrested after Ceazar bit his neighbor? Unless Will is somehow legally allowed to keep a chimp in that case I ask, how the hell did he get everything he needed that fast? Unless you're telling me Will had the papers and knowledge ready to go in case he needed to care for a chimp? Clearly not given how shocked he was that his coworker would even suggest such an idea. How the hell did it stay secret from his boss? ''My company experimented on chimps and now one of my workers has a chimp right after I told him we're euthanizing all the chimps, must be a coincidence. He probably bought it to do research on his own.''

I know it may seem small, but you see, the more you think about it, the worse it gets. This is not a small mistake, like props moving from place to place, from shot to shot, as a result of editing multiple takes. It's an important plot point, it's a key event that gets the rest of the story going. If I were the writer of this movie, I would make Will the designated ape expert, so we don't have to think about how he magically acquires the skills and knowledge to take care of an ape seemingly overnight. I would also do it so that his boss not only knew about Will's research, but also that he was the one who ordered Will to continue his research in secret. So his character doesn't do a complete 180, from a guy who is so hyper-cautious into somebody who completely disregards all safety provisions because

The way the virus spreads: I don't know about you all but as soon as the neighbor said ''I'm a pilot! How am I gonna get to work?'' an alarm went off in my head, going ''This is how the virus is going to spread, right?'', and a moment later Caesar bit him. I was partly right. The pilot does get infected, but by Will's friend from work. Now some of you may be asking, ''How did he get infected?''. I'm going to tell you and explain how this clown show went down. Watch out for spoilers, this far down the post to a thirteen years old movie. Scientists give Koba a dose of ALZ-113 as a gas (because if they had simply injected him, the following event could not have happened). Then suddenly Koba starts thrashing around, in doing so some of the virus likes out and the scientist breathes some in. The other guy in the room asks if he's okay and the dumbass says that he's fine! No! You're not fine! You just breathe some of the virus that is being tested on apes because it's too dangerous to use on humans. Why do characters in movies do this? Do you think you're being brave? You don't want to worry or be a problem to others? Well, you're about to cause a lot of problems and make people worry a lot! Tell the truth, for the love of God!

The way the virus spreads: I don't know about you all but as soon as the neighbor said ''I'm a pilot! How am I gonna get to work?'' an alarm went off in my head, going ''This is how the virus is going to spread, right?'', and a moment later Caesar bit him. I was partly right. The pilot does get infected, but by Will's friend from work. Now some of you may be asking, ''How did he get infected?''. I'm going to tell you and explain how this clown show went down. Watch out for spoilers, this far down the post to a thirteen years old movie. Scientists give Koba a dose of ALZ-113 as a gas (because if they had simply injected him, the following event could not have happened). Then suddenly Koba starts thrashing around, in doing so some of the virus likes out and the scientist breathes some in. The other guy in the room asks if he's okay and the dumbass says that he's fine! No! You're not fine! You just breathe some of the virus that is being tested on apes because it's too dangerous to use on humans. Why do characters in movies do this? Do you think you're being brave? You don't want to worry or be a problem to others? Well, you're about to cause a lot of problems and make people worry a lot! Tell the truth, for the love of God!

Well, maybe it's not all bad. He thought he put the mask on in time. Maybe it's one of those symptomless diseases, or some very basic symptoms that can be mistaken for a cold. No! Guy started sneezing blood while at work and instead of connecting the dots and sounding the alarm to quarantine him and the whole building he just ignores it. This guy is supposed to be a scientist but he doesn't know basic hygiene! A good way to fix this problem would've been to just let the pilot be infected by Caesar's bite, or for the gas to spread somewhere where people wouldn't notice. For example when Caesar gasses up all the cages some of it could've gone to the break room right next to them infecting all the workers. Or how about the ALZ-112 being the dangerous one? Will gives it to his father and he unintentionally starts spreading it. Especially that not long after being injected with ALZ-112 he dies. Granted it could've been just from old age. But it is said that ALZ-113 is the same as ALZ-112 but stronger, so maybe ALZ-112 was killing him too, but slowly. Also, regressing in development caused by the virus, could be mistaken for Alzheimer's coming back.

But in all seriousness, it does seem like early in the script Will and Caesar were the ones responsible for spreading the simian flu but it was changed to be someone else's fault because it's hard to root for somebody who killed almost all humans, even if unintentionally.

The only way I can imagine spreading simian flu without making our two main characters guilty and not making it completely stupid is by making it spread through apes from the lab who were injected with ALZ-113 by biting people, slobbering on them, etc.

Goodbye and see you soon under another post.

There are many more things from this movie, that I haven't talked about yet but I'll mention them while talking about other movies in the franchise, because I don't want to repeat myself too much. This post is long as is.

[mortallyclearwonderland]

Rise of the Planet of the Apes review

Fun fact, in the Polish version this movie is called Geneza Planety Małp - Genesis of the Planet of the Apes. Which I think is a more accurate description. I would argue the second or the third movie is more of a ''rise''. And the second movie is called Evolution of the Planet of the Apes which I like. Meanwhile, the third movie is translated exactly word for word, War for the Planet of the Apes - Wojna o Planetę Małp. Although, I think the second movie is more of a war film than the third but about that in the later post.

What's Great about the movie:

The Characters: I'm going to talk about the supporting characters later in other points, so let's focus on the main ones. Will and Caesar both are the heart and soul of this movie. That's what morally gray characters look like. Will does a lot of bad things. He experiments on apes, essentially experiments on his father by giving him untested medicine that can do who knows what with his father (We as the movie watchers can already tell. But you know what I mean. Fictional characters don't know they're part of a movie/book/etc. Do you think every little noise is a killer trying to get you? I swear, CinemaSins and self aware ''humor'' destroyed people's understanding of how one should interact with a fictional story.), keeps a chimpanzee in his house from which it can easily escape from, is responsible for the spread of a virus that massacres almost all of humanity and is the cause of the apocalypse. No, movie, you're not going to shift all the blame onto other characters. Patient, patient, we'll get to it when we get to it. But the reason why you, or at least I, don't want to strangle Will for all his faults is because he has a great motivation as to why he's doing what he's doing. He wants to cure Alzheimer which not only will help his father but the whole world. He also truly loves Caesar.

Speaking of Caesar, even with all his intelligence, he's not immune to making emotional decisions. Trying to protect Will's father he bites their neighbor and because of this he lands in the ape prison. He did not fit in with humans because he's a chimpanzee and his intelligence was not yet developed enough, but he also was too human-like to fit in with the other apes. Making him an outcast in both worlds. Therefore he decided to create others like him and take them to the only place where he felt free. But to be fair I don't know what other alternative he could have. Go back home with his dad Will and spend the rest of his life inside, with an occasional walk to a park once in a while? Wait until he gets smart enough to be a part of human society, go to school, get a job, and marry a furry/tetraphilia? Ask for a private island with other intelligent apes? This story and the characters in it are very tragic. The viewer is constantly switching between rooting for the apes and rooting for the humans. You want animals to be happy, free, and well cared for, but you also don't want humans to get hurt and the entire human civilization to collapse.

You find yourself wanting, "Let's just live together in peace." but this and all other movies go on to prove it's way harder than it seems. Which brings me to my next point.

The emotion: I can't find the words to describe how I felt watching the first movie. It's like watching Titanic or a documentary about some other disaster. You already know what's coming, but you still find yourself at the edge of your seat hoping that by some miracle the inevitable doesn't happen. Even tho you know how it ends, you're stealing dying to know how it all went down. It was my first time watching any Planet of the Apes movie, my prior knowledge at this point boiled down to the iconic moment with the ruined Statue of Liberty and that one Simpsons joke. My eyes were glued to the TV, taking in all the information as if I was drinking water after a run. The scene when Will's dad tries to drive a car is one of the most intense moments I have ever seen. The whiplash of internally screaming at Caesar to go outside and stop him only to scream ''Stay inside! Don't go! You're going to get in trouble!''. The scene when Will's dad tries to drive a car is one of the most intense moments I have ever seen. The whiplash of internally screaming at Caesar to go outside and stop him only to scream ''Stay inside! Don't go! You're going to get in trouble!''. Going from fear that he's going to die in a car crash, to a feeling of relief that he only bumped into other cars, and panicking again that he's going to get in trouble. A fight between understanding why the neighbor is angry and wishing he would just calm down and be nice. Absolute Cinema!

This is what I've been starving for. A movie, a franchise that takes itself seriously. In the modern market with an overabundance of cynicism, ''humor'' that relays on making fun of and undermining your own story at every turn, killing any emotional moment with ''jokes'', never letting the audience be silent observers because the characters are constantly talking to the them by breaking the 4th wall so much the whole house is coming down it was cathartic to watch something sincere.

Let's be honest, for years Hollywood has been putting out sludge with an occasional diamond in the ruff but even the things I enjoyed at the end of the day were ''just movies''. Watching this movie I felt what I haven't felt in a long time. It was an experience!

When I saw Caesar drawing his window on the wall and later wiping it off . . . I felt that. I felt more for this CGI chimpanzee than for the army of #relatable characters from the past 5 years combined. That's the power of empathy!

This is not the time to go into depth about the sequels but I can assure you right now, for all their problems they never lose their heart. I just hope it stays that way. I don't want to watch my new beloved franchise go down like many others.

No humanity bashing: This movie is not like Avatar (the blue one) where all of humanity is evil or Captain Planet where people do evil things to nature just to be evil. People don't pour oil into the oceans to watch whales die. They use the apes to test medicine for people because they are our closest relative and they can't just go testing stuff on people, at least not right away.

Even the neighbor who is often dismissed by the viewers as an asshole has a point. The movie implies he's not ace in biology because he calls a chimp a monkey and that if he wasn't so ignorant he would understand that chimpanzees are actually very loving creatures. Caesar is one of the main characters, so the movie is from his point of view and the audience is supposed to root for him. From his perspective, he just wanted to play with people, and most people watching the movie probably think ''Don't hurt him. He just wants to play. He's not dangerous. Let him play with your daughter.'' Now let's put ourselves in this man's shoes. You live the peaceful, or rather stressful, life of an airplane pilot (this will be important soon) with your family. Suddenly one day, out of nowhere, your next door neighbor has a chimpanzee. From the dialogue it can be concluded that this was not the first such encounter. Keep in mind that Caesar has not fully ''transformed'' yet. He's getting smarter over the years, so when they first met he must've been still pretty animalistic, and first impression can be only done once. Besides, it's not like he knows Caesar is almost human-smart. As far as he knows it's just a regular chimp. And if you know anything about chimps you would probably be as afraid as this him if not more. From his perspective, Caesar would soon turn his daughter into Charla Nash. The closest we have to a truly evil human character in the movie and the whole franchise (as far as I watched) is Draco Malfoy Dodge Landon who tortures apes for fun.He hates apes but he got the job because he's a nepo-baby. Meanwhile, his coworker is just a doormat.

Stories about good vs evil can still be great, deep, and thought-provoking, like Star Wars (before Disney) and Lord Of The Rings (before Amazon) but it's nice to have variety.

CGI/Look of the movie: Of course, it's a touch dated, especially comparing the first movie to the latest but it still looks great. Especially when you compare it to some trash today.

There are two scenes I really like. The one during which Caesar is climbing up a tree for the first time. The second one is when people can see leaves falling in the distance before they notice apes in the trees.

What's bad about the movie:

How Will got Caesar: These scientists didn't notice that Caesar's mom was pregnant, seriously? Nothing came up during any tests? They didn't notice her belly getting bigger even tho they fed her the same amount of food? How the hell can Will keep a chimpanzee in his suburban house? No one called the police before the events in the movie? I know San Francisco is a big city but a guy with a pet chimp never made a news? I know there are crazy people who buy exotic animals even if they don't rehabilitate them or anything, but it's usually done illegally, so why wasn't Will arrested after Ceazar bit his neighbor? Unless Will is somehow legally allowed to keep a chimp in that case I ask, how the hell did he get everything he needed that fast? Unless you're telling me Will had the papers and knowledge ready to go in case he needed to care for a chimp? Clearly not given how shocked he was that his coworker would even suggest such an idea. How the hell did it stay secret from his boss? ''My company experimented on chimps and now one of my workers has a chimp right after I told him we're euthanizing all the chimps, must be a coincidence. He probably bought it to do research on his own.''

I know it may seem small, but you see, the more you think about it, the worse it gets. This is not a small mistake, like props moving from place to place, from shot to shot, as a result of editing multiple takes. It's an important plot point, it's a key event that gets the rest of the story going. If I were the writer of this movie, I would make Will the designated ape expert, so we don't have to think about how he magically acquires the skills and knowledge to take care of an ape seemingly overnight. I would also do it so that his boss not only knew about Will's research, but also that he was the one who ordered Will to continue his research in secret. So his character doesn't do a complete 180, from a guy who is so hyper-cautious into somebody who completely disregards all safety provisions because

The way the virus spreads: I don't know about you all but as soon as the neighbor said ''I'm a pilot! How am I gonna get to work?'' an alarm went off in my head, going ''This is how the virus is going to spread, right?'', and a moment later Caesar bit him. I was partly right. The pilot does get infected, but by Will's friend from work. Now some of you may be asking, ''How did he get infected?''. I'm going to tell you and explain how this clown show went down. Watch out for spoilers, this far down the post to a thirteen years old movie. Scientists give Koba a dose of ALZ-113 as a gas (because if they had simply injected him, the following event could not have happened). Then suddenly Koba starts thrashing around, in doing so some of the virus likes out and the scientist breathes some in. The other guy in the room asks if he's okay and the dumbass says that he's fine! No! You're not fine! You just breathe some of the virus that is being tested on apes because it's too dangerous to use on humans. Why do characters in movies do this? Do you think you're being brave? You don't want to worry or be a problem to others? Well, you're about to cause a lot of problems and make people worry a lot! Tell the truth, for the love of God!

Well, maybe it's not all bad. He thought he put the mask on in time. Maybe it's one of those symptomless diseases, or some very basic symptoms that can be mistaken for a cold. No! Guy started sneezing blood while at work and instead of connecting the dots and sounding the alarm to quarantine him and the whole building he just ignores it. This guy is supposed to be a scientist but he doesn't know basic hygiene! A good way to fix this problem would've been to just let the pilot be infected by Caesar's bite, or for the gas to spread somewhere where people wouldn't notice. For example when Caesar gasses up all the cages some of it could've gone to the break room right next to them infecting all the workers. Or how about the ALZ-112 being the dangerous one? Will gives it to his father and he unintentionally starts spreading it. Especially that not long after being injected with ALZ-112 he dies. Granted it could've been just from old age. But it is said that ALZ-113 is the same as ALZ-112 but stronger, so maybe ALZ-112 was killing him too, but slowly. Also, regressing in development caused by the virus, could be mistaken for Alzheimer's coming back.

But in all seriousness, it does seem like early in the script Will and Caesar were the ones responsible for spreading the simian flu but it was changed to be someone else's fault because it's hard to root for somebody who killed almost all humans, even if unintentionally.

The only way I can imagine spreading simian flu without making our two main characters guilty and not making it completely stupid is by making it spread through apes from the lab who were injected with ALZ-113 by biting people, slobbering on them, etc.

Goodbye and see you soon under another post.

There are many more things from this movie, that I haven't talked about yet but I'll mention them while talking about other movies in the franchise, because I don't want to repeat myself too much. This post is long as is.

Planet of the Apes movie reviews

I've recently watched the Cesar trilogy and the newest installment, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes. I'm going to review each of them. And list things that I think were great, bad, or just meh.

And I'm going to do the same for the previous movies from the 60s and the upcoming sequels when they come out.

Here's an arbitrary score system:

Rise of the Planet of the Apes - 10/10 (One of the best movies I've ever seen)

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes - 9/10 (Great movie but not as good as the Genesis.)

War for the Planet of the Apes - 7/10 (The worst of the Cesar trilogy. It's definitely the most boring, stupid, and unfunny. I'm gonna go into greater detail as to why in the movie's own post.)

Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes - 9.5/10 (A great beginning to the new trilogy. It just barely misses 10/10.)

See you soon.