muhagungb - Tumblr blog

[muhagungb]

for now, i hate 2018 vibes.

[muhagungb]

I heard about this thing that called Manifesting. It is like you give yourself a time to “give up” then let god do the rest. I think that is the same thing like praying to God. I did it. I made myself like useless, pity person that ever lived in this world then i started to manifesting. But what i got is the opposite, like why? I guess i already do so many bad things, God also doesn’t care about me so then giving me the punishment. Should i continue this live with this gloomy things later on?

[muhagungb]

Is it a sin if i questioning why religion exist? I mean why everyone has different beliefs. Like if human loves another human, but their belief is different, guess they will be blocked right. So what is this true meaning of life actually. Being happy right? But will that different things create happiness?

[muhagungb]

but, is everything that i've done a mistake? i try to give my best to my close people. parents, gf, siblings, fams, friends. but what i got is a dissapointment for them. you read it right, i'm a dissapointment. so what should i do for sure? what should i do to give them a nice memory of me? should i just stay in my room, till starve, do nothing and wait for my death? i guess so.

[muhagungb]

you know you are useless person is when you are around but your parents call somebody else to solve the problem. or when they need you, you cant help because you literally cant do anything.

[muhagungb]

i dont know, sometimes i still feel that im useless. maybe it's bcs i throw so many good chances in life that can make me useful rn?

[muhagungb]

I was so curious when I was a kid. I found this film in my parent's shelf. I thought this was a you-know-that-stuff film, I play it in my dvd player when nobody home. but what I got? this.... unforgettable memory. I thought this was my first western movie that made me sad and happy at the same time. I know I forget couple scenes but I can't forget the feeling. Undescribed.

Ok now I'm feeling it again, thanks God for this memory.

[muhagungb]

everybody has memories, nostalgic moment or something. when i was a kid, i always watch movies from dvd and weird.. because i still remember every single thing about that. now, i forget everything easily but not my memories every detail like i still remember the word "2001" in my grand parents shop 😂. this film is one of my journey. i watched this like idk million times maybe. i felt happy in that time and also learned about adventure, star's name, boscha :'). but when i think about it like right now i feel sad, wanna cry then wondering, what if i turn back to that 2001 kid and start all over again or just stuck in that moment...... it must be so happy.

[muhagungb]

stop here first, you must have had 1 depressed song that will make you remember anything that relate to it. first time you listen to it, last memory about it and then you start to feel stuck in your life, feeling nothing change and you still the same person when you know the song, it still sucks.

[muhagungb]

if you wanna die (like rn), please watch this movie first. i guarantee you'll dead peacefully.

[muhagungb]

Have you ever feel depressed? I'll help you, listen to this song. I guarantee that you will feel more worse.

[muhagungb]

everytime i see this film, i realize that i no longer a kid and i cant be a kid anymore but i wanna be a kid again!